Being able to accomplish things under seemingly more difficult circumstances does not give you the right to invalidate the struggles of someone who is going through the same, but is not achieving the same results as you. Invalidating struggle means invalidating progress.
Your achievements are yours. How you got there are your testimonies to your capabilities. You have every right to be proud of yourself. Great performances ought to be celebrated, after all. However, they should not be used as standards for others. Do they make you better? Perhaps, to a certain measure. I think it depends on what you’re weighing it up against: skills, awards, relationships, finances, health, etc. “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.”
Our situations aren’t false dichotomies; nothing is always black and white. Similarities and generalities exist, of course. We would lose all objectivity without them. However, we sometimes fail to look into the different nuances that have compounding effects on the whole performance of the individual. I applaud you if you were able to handle heavier workloads or if you had it much harder during your time and still survived. Were those the baseline standards? Perhaps you were really good then. But who sets these standards anyway? If so many think they’re so unfair or even inhumane, maybe it’s because they are? Are the circumstances then the same now? Or do I really just belong to a generation of whiner-babies? Or am I unconsciously gaslighting myself into thinking that because of the status quo for so long? “That’s how it has always been.” So even if you see that there’s a better way to do it, you won’t bother to change?
This is also starting to look like an argument on a means to an end. You ultimately judge based on the results, but what about the experiences that led to that outcome? And I guess it also depends on who’s looking, as well. A performance board, a criminal court, a class report—versus someone doing a self-assessment. I think it’s different when you say that one should be used as an example versus when one should be used as a standard. It’s truly a difficult matter to be objective about when so many factors can be considered subjective.
I do not like mediocrity. I do not tolerate toxicity either. There is a fine line between tough love and bullying. One develops motivation; the other, fear. Both may achieve the same results on the surface, but they differ greatly underneath. Motivation establishes a strong foundation that will support you when things shake you up; fear feels more like a haphazard construction that could crumble any time. Being the bare minimum is okay because according to the set standards, you’re up to par. But you don’t have to stop there either, especially if you know you could be more. And it’s this desire for improvement that should be nurtured. Nurtured, not forced.
Growth takes time, effort, and patience. There’s a right way to get there, but the right way is not necessarily the same path for everyone. However, trust that all these paths eventually lead to your destination.
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Thoughts inspired by this Twitter thread.
What pink says is true. These are very real reasons why I’m having apprehensions about going into training myself. Of course, nothing is easy. Calling it difficult would be an understatement. That’s expected. Suffer, if we must, but let us suffer with dignity. There’s got to be a way to make adjusting to that kind of life easier. Some may thrive in the toxicity, but others falter. It’s honestly quite disheartening to see that even if you may have the smarts, the attitude, and the grit, but sometimes things can still become overwhelming. I’m not going to go into the nitty gritty details of it anymore, but anyone familiar with medical training knows that this is indeed a systemic problem. True, not everyone recognizes that it’s there. Others even deny that a problem exists. Some just don’t care anymore.
But, to be honest, I don’t think blue is totally in the wrong either. I just don’t like the condescending tone with which it was delivered (especially after seeing all the other tweets and receipts, hahaha gotta love twitter for this). Perhaps coming from such a triumphant place of overcoming all those challenges, the responses could have been meant for dispelling pink’s negative notions about residency. Could have actually convinced someone to go into training, but instead sounded rather arrogant. The initial intention may have been good and not really to invalidate anyone’s struggles, but there was a problem in the communication or idk maybe not and blue was just being an ass lol.
Anyway, those are just my opinions on the matter. Your thoughts?
Parbaking is the process of partially baking dough (sometimes rapidly frozen and stored afterwards) before it is combined then fully baked with other ingredients to make a finished product.
My thoughts in these write-ups are exactly that—half-baked; par-baked. Everything is a draft.
May not seem like it, but I’ve always had some trouble with expressing my ideas because it always feels like I have a lot more thinking to do. I’m always so unsure if they’re right. Are they insensitive; are they offensive; are they ignorant? Or do they even make any sense? There are times when I find them contradicting. Tired of keeping them to myself, I’ve decided to put them up for perusal. Maybe giving them form will help me gather the ingredients to continue the baking process. Shyness over my writing be damned; I just want to have a finished product. Plus I’m always happy to receive corrections and constructive criticism. We all just want to be better.
Par-baked Thoughts (#parbakedthoughts) will be my occasionally updated collection of drafts of personal opinions, reviews, unsolicited advice, fictional scenarios, and any other random ramblings. Hopefully, it will also be an avenue for discussion and a refinery for thought and writing.
