Dear friend
I want to share a few things with you, the things that Iâve experienced and I want you to know that sooner or later things will start making sense but thatâs if you donât let your anger cloud your thoughts.
Anger is a secondary emotion. The emotions lurking beneath the surface of your anger might be feeling ignored, disappointed, used, unlovable, and rejected. All of these feelings make you feel vulnerable so you use anger as a method of psychological self-soothing.
To find out whatâs beneath your anger, listen to your self-talk. If you find yourself thinking âNo one will ever love meâ, it may symbolize feelings of rejection or being unlovable.
Take notice of your thoughts for a day to pinpoint what other emotions you are experiencing. Buy yourself a box of chocolates or snack on ice cream straight from the tub. Purchase that designer handbag or new gadget youâve had your eye on for months. Visit the spa or take yourself to lunch at the new bistro everyoneâs been raving about. Since you are going through a tough time, you may need to spoil yourself a little to lift your spirits, and thatâs okay.
People frequently crave comfort foods when they are not feeling so great. Research shows that mindful indulgences are usually harmless as long as you are not overindulging or neglecting your health.
Having said that, you should set limits for yourself. If you get yourself into debt, end up hoarding a houseful of junk, or gain 40 pounds, you will only feel more miserable than before. Indulge yourself, but stick to your means and avoid unhealthy behaviors that are destructive rather than nurturing.
The caring shoulder of a close friend can be a valuable tool to rely on. Sometimes talking about your feelings is a good way to air them out and move on. A friend can help you recognize that what youâre feeling is normal. Plus, getting your frustrations out into the open might be help you understand better and resolve the issues there and then.
A friend who can give you advice might be a good person to talk to, but any friend willing to listen should be able to help a little. Venting your emotions can be just as important as fixing the matter at hand.
My dear friend, while you need to let yourself be sad, you also need to understand that there is a certain point at which it is in your best interest to force yourself to move on. It is not healthy to allow broken relationships to deter you from growing and thriving in other areas of life. Make time for yourself, but donât hesitate to get back out there and live your life abundantly.
Take a walk. Go on a trip. Venture out into the great unknown, or even venture into the slightly-less-impressive known. The point is that you will need to get out of bed and physically move on with your life, no matter how much you wish you could spend another day lying around and watching sad movies.
Get active. Physical activity is one of the best things you can. You have had a terrible time with your parents, I understand. Almost everyone you thought was honest to you, turned out to be a disappointment.
Right now, youâre surviving. I need you to start living. Let the world now that you dream too. You dream just as everyone in this planet does. I need you to understand, that youâre valuable. Friends can be a great help in getting over someone, even if you have a hard time crying on their shoulders. When you need to feel appreciated and distracted, a night on the town with some close friends can be the perfect prescription.
Meet new people. This can seem tremendously difficult, but it can also have a huge impact on how thoroughly you recover. By meeting new people, you allow yourself to see that there are others who may come to appreciate and love you. Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up. This phrase has been used before, but behold my extension to it. What happens when we pick ourselves up? We look back and fathom out it never was so difficult. This is psychology, the current state seems hard when itâs the first time. Start understanding your worth, everyone loves you. I love you. So many others care about you too. All you have to do, is to believe in yourself, stop thinking you are unworthy or anything, stop considering yourself as unlucky, stop considering yourself as weak and start considering yourself strong. You have a soul of a lion, mind of a bird and a heart of gold. You want to explore, you are brave, you are strong, you are caring and you are everything thatâs pure. You just have to believe in all this. Trust me, I am not just saying that to make you feel better. Itâs all true and I need you to understand this too. Accept these challenges and say BRING IT ON. It takes a lot more than this to make a warrior like you fail.
Yours and always,
Someone who cares.
- @nimrah-khan
