An Unconventional, Difficult & Fun Life
Extremely Concerned Individual: Â Are you still in that DJ thing?
Me: Yes, I still DJ professionally.
Extremely Concerned Individual: *sigh* After all the work (re: college) and for nothing. Â Itâs so sad.
Me: Itâs not sad. Â Itâs my job. Â Itâs just different. Â I took a different route.
Extremely Concerned Individual: Yes but this isnât a real job. Â Itâs a hobby. Â Iâm worried about you. Â
Welcome to my life as a full time DJ with a vagine and a relatively steady stream of gigs who is simply trying to figure out how to adult as a creative freelancer in her mid 30s with no shortage of people who donât understand how I got here or why I choose to stay here. Â To be clear, I get it. Â Being a creative freelancer is difficult for many reasons. Â But the most difficult aspect of it is coming to the realization that societal conditioning has made it so that DJâing, which can be a pretty practical gig if you let it be, is declared an unrealistic career goal that canât replace a traditional 9 to 5 job...or more specifically, a traditionally female 9 to 5 job. Â
A little perspective.  I spent 8 years as a full time teacher before working up the courage to transition to my current situation as a full time DJ.  I had been mulling it over for about 4 years before making the leap, after which there were no shortage of friends, family and random strangers I just met who have been terribly concerned about me ever since.  9 times out of 10 this concern manifests itself as a gentle steering towards more realistic alternatives that would grant me benefits and other general trappings of a traditional 9 to 5 career.  In these cases Iâm usually steered towards traditionally female jobs like:
Teaching - Reminder: That ship HAS sailed.
Nursing - I canât tell you where this comes from.
Child Counseling - Are we sensing a theme?
Interestingly enough at no point has anyone ever suggested I work in other pretty secure, predominantly male, gigs like Sanitation, FDNY, Tech, Finance or the like. Â This is probably for the best because, to be fair, I would suck in all four of these areas.
But that doesnât suggest that I would make a great nurse either. Â And I canât tell you the amount of times well meaning loved ones have suggested I look into a career along these lines, failing to acknowledge the glaring truth.
When a person, of any gender, is determining their âlifeâs purposeâ, whatever that even means, there are several important factors to consider that transcend genitalia.Â
1. Do you have natural talents that lend themselves to the line of work youâre trying to pursue?
Por ejemplo... I am particularly squeamish and would have a difficult time working in areas where I had to frequently encounter injured people and be around bodily fluids on a regular basis. Â So that takes nursing out of the equation....
Not to mention the expense of nursing school for someone who already has three DAMB college degrees, two of which are in *drumroll please* MUSIC.
2. Experience. Â Expertise. Â Do you have any?
Iâm a woman of a certain age. Â
Itâs a funny age because while Iâm aware Iâm not geriatric, by any means, Iâm still at a stage in my life where Iâm expected to have learned certain life lessons, be vaguely more established in life than I was in my 20s and, of course, to have expertise in SOME professional area. Â My areas of expertise, for context, are administration, education and music. Â However, of the three, when you think of which is the more realistic job option for someone who is âserious about their futureâ MUSIC hardly comes to mind. Â
So go figure this is the area in which I have the MOST expertise and experience. Â I performed extensively as a child with Bomba y Plena music and dance troupes throughout NYC in the 90s. Â In my teens I studied classically at LaGuardia High School For The Performing Arts. Â I continued my classical training at Brooklyn College Conservatory for roughly 8 years and earned two college degrees in music. Â I worked professionally as a ringer for several church choirs in NYC and have now worked, professionally, as a full-time DJ for two years. Â The bulk of my ACTUAL expertise (paid or otherwise) has been in the field of music.
If weâre being honest, my number one passion has always been and will always be music for a plethora of reasons that could be an entirely different post altogether. Â I firmly believe that passion is what should drive someone into the career theyâre best suited for, if they can manage it. Â But when you get to a certain point in your life the act of letting passion drive you is often scoffed at as irresponsible, immature, unrealistic and certainly not the way to land an APPROPRIATE or SMART career. Â
Often comparisons are made to generations before us who had to do what they had to do to make ends meet.
Passion based careers are considered a luxury or privilege. Â To that I say, try surviving on a creative freelancerâs salary in NYC for more than a month and then we can talk. Â
Even some of my peers in creative fields often speak of having to choose between your brain and your heart. Â Referring to choosing a career that theyâre passionate about as âfollowing your heartâ. Â A career in the arts, unless your a bonafide celebrity (which is NOT my end goal), is seen as flighty, romantic and hopeful. Â Rarely is it acknowledged as a suitable career for someone who is equipped for the job, because naturally without a team of people managing every aspect of our day our delicate little heads would explode. Â You canât honestly believe that itâs possible for one person to have enough discipline to manage more than one aspect of their business, can you?
*insert sarcasm related gif here*
Weâre living in an age where we have a world of information at our fingertips 24/7 and more opportunities to thrive in alternative careers than ever before, which begs the question...
How unrealistic is freelancing, really?
I, too, have fallen prey to external voices that attempt to tell me what I can and cannot do from their own biased perspectives. Â But the only way to find out what can and canât be is to take a crack at it. Â Cliche but true. Â And so thatâs what Iâve been doing for the past 2 years. Â Now when Iâm asked what I do for a living Iâm met with concerned looks, condescending remarks, chuckles and suggestions that my being a DJ is an adorable attempt at going toe to toe and trying to keep up with the fellas. Â The most confusing reaction of all is the suggestion that my being a DJ is a rebellious act, which is perplexing because I donât feel rebellious at all. Â DJâing feels like a regular degular job to me because music performance is actually what Iâm best equipped to do, despite my having a breadth of knowledge and expertise in other areas.
I'M A CREATIVE. Â BOTTOM LINE. Â ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ
I donât even necessarily think that this is something I could have chosen to be myself. Â It was more of a realization that I came to after dibbling and dabbling in one field or another with this thought in the back of my mind that music was what I really should have been doing the whole time had it not been for how obviously unrealistic it was. Â But ultimately, as it turned out, being a musician and overall creative is what mattered to me, what I was most skilled at and what I am committed to. Â
I often feel like when we discuss glass ceilings and gender inequality we often focus on polished, conservative fields like law, medicine and politics, etc. Â To see women breaking down walls in these fields that involve a lot of structure, rules, formulas and rigidity (thatâs actually not shade) it feels safe. Â But unconventional lines of work are more threatening. Â Mainstream ideas of what women should and shouldnât aspire to become clear when we get to decide how and when we get paid, how flexible our work schedule is, how we present visually, etc. Â Of course thereâs no shortage of people, even in creative fields, who will stop at nothing to make things difficult for us either way. Â Itâs not all sunshine and lollipops. Â But the point is itâs difficult to monitor and manage women when theyâre calling most of the shots. Â Â
When I think about it, this is part of what compels me to push forward, despite how challenging and scary it was to thrust myself into this field. Â I feel strongly about women being capable of attaining the same level of success as their male counterparts on their own terms in all fields and I have committed myself to being an example of this so much so that, at times, it gets downright uncomfortable. Â But for me, itâs worth it. Â Because if I can learn anything from my parents and grandparents who sometimes placed themselves in uncomfortable positions in an effort to push forward, itâs that growth can be painful, uncomfortable and difficult to navigate but, if my experience trying to advance in my field is any indication, itâs very necessary.
Iâve come to the end of this piece and struggling with an impactful note to end on but something that sticks with me is a visit that I made with a group of young girls to Serato a few months ago to learn how to use Serato Video to add exciting visual elements to a DJ set. Â The girls were fascinated with Op Miller and DJ Dstruktâs demo and I remember at one point one of my students turned to me and said:
âThis is so much fun. Â Itâs a good skill to have, you know, if everything else doesnât work out.â
It struck a chord with me and renewed my commitment to being one of (now) many women in the DJ field who are proving that choosing an unconventional life can be everything you need. It can work out. Â And yes, it absolutely is fun af.
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