The name of the game is ‘Dream Dads: A Dad Dating Simulator’. DDADDS! The name of the game spells dads! The name of the game is a dad joke!!
@therealjacksepticeye (Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator - Part 2)
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@nine-inside
The name of the game is ‘Dream Dads: A Dad Dating Simulator’. DDADDS! The name of the game spells dads! The name of the game is a dad joke!!
@therealjacksepticeye (Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator - Part 2)
in another world, when you are loved, you grow wings to show it. the bigger the love, the bigger the wings.
and a world that sees wings as the ultimate status symbol. celebrities with gigantic wings that cannot fly because they are too heavy. monarchs that have stylists to enlarge their (very stumpy) wings.
babies born with the soft proof of their parent’s love, babies flaking off feathers when their parents don’t care enough. teenagers who watch their wings flake and grow every day, never sure who loves them or doesn’t. having your crush figure out you like him because his wings won’t stop fluffing up.
bullies who fake having large wings, who hurt others because they never felt whole, who go home and try to wish their feathers into growing. gentle, soft people who have long wings they’re embarrassed of, who tuck them and try to be average because they don’t like showing off.
weddings where there’s so much love in the room everyone’s wings swell up. the couple having perfectly matched wings which don’t stop their steady growth. waking up next to your husband of six years to find he’s gone and all your feathers have fallen off.
a girl who is pushed down and laughed at for her little wings, her broken home. who knows she’s ugly for it, who feels perfectly alone. who one day walks into a room with another girl who happens to complement her shirt and within six days has become the closest friend she’s ever learned. her wings spreading big and wide and proud over other people’s heads, her new feathers getting in the way because she’s not used to them, pushing her new feathers out of the way so she can kiss the girl she’s dreamed about.
finding your best friend and watching the feathers sprout. lying awake in bed feeling useless and yet having this proof that someone out there loves you. helping a stranger on the train only to have a few cautious pinfeathers tickle their way out. wondering if they felt that tickle, too.
waking up from a dream very confused, hoping a boy six blocks down doesn’t come into school with suddenly slightly larger wings. ace people with arching wings who are absolutely loved by their friends, who are absolutely loving. your boyfriend promising you that boy he’s flirting with means nothing, finding that your feathers are slowly falling out in the shower each morning.
having average wings and a sad heart and doing your best to be alive and happy and whole but failing terribly - but working towards it, slowly, until one day you see your wings spreading and get excited about who it could be, who liked you enough to change you this drastically; only to figure out on a tuesday afternoon that it’s you, you’re the one who loves yourself for once; and the thought is so big and wide and lovely that you sit down on the floor and can’t stop crying because despite everything, you made it. and that’s amazing.
@lizzieraindrops I read this and immediately thought of your #a longing like feathers and #shrug my shoulders and take flight tags
so we have a conversational safeword in my group of friends and it’s great, idk why more people don’t do this. whenever someone wants a subject to be dropped immediately no questions asked we just say “spleen” and we stop immediately and it’s a really good way to avoid crossing the line between teasing friends and genuinely upsetting them by accident, or stopping debates from turning into actual arguments
Wait but no this is actually a brilliant idea.
When I was a little baby high school student, I used to do the Living Chessboard at our local Renaissance Faire. We always used “forsooth” to indicate if someone was actually injured and needed to quickly end a choreographed fight. It was also very useful when doing little street improvisations because if someone tried to stop you, you could say “forsooth good sir, I must leave.” and they knew you couldn’t do a scene right then. We all used it in real life too, to say “no really” and it was amazing because there was a word used in a casual setting that meant “I’m not playing, I need you do listen to me.” So if someone tried to pick me up or tickle me, I could say “forsooth stop.” And I was instantly obeyed. I had “forsooth” long before I learned what a safeword was, and having a non-sexual safeword for everyday use amongst a circle of friends was the best thing ever. It made me feel very safe and listened to, even as a tiny 14 year old. Because let’s be honest, 14 year old me was teeny tiny and adorable and it’s easy to coo at kids when they say “no don’t pick me up!” but to have a word that every single person respected to mean “whatever I say after this MUST be listened to” was amazing. It gave me a definitive voice when it would have been easy to dismiss me.
So basically having platonic safewords is awesome and I’m all for it.
nakedsasquatch it’s ya man
Okay but seriously folks - as often as I joke about this movie stirs my loins and as weirdly popular as this text post got a while back, I wanna rap with you all about why the George of the Jungle remake is a pretty important piece of cinema.
It’s literally the only movie I can think of that is based completely around the unheard of “FEMALE gaze.” Granted, while I’m a huge movie buff I’ve not seen every movie ever made. But even so, even if there’s another example of the “female gaze” in cinema that has escaped me it’s still damn impressive that a kids movie from 1997 based on a Jay Ward cartoon from the 60’s managed to turn gender representation in media on it’s fucking ass!
First things first, let’s look at our leading lady and love interest - Ursula, played by Leslie Mann.
Let me just say that while Leslie Mann is adorable and a talented actress, she does look a little less conventional and a little more plain compared to the bombshells that Hollywood likes to churn out. Leslie, in comparison, looks much more like a real women you’d meet on the street. She dresses pretty conservatively and plain throughout the film ; Wearing outfits that are more functional than fashionable for trekking through the jungle, pulling her hair back and so forth. Not that if she was dolled up and more scantily clad it would give her character any less integrity, but can we appreciate how RARE that is in the male dominated industry of film? Just think about all the roads a film about a woman in the jungle COULD have taken but didn’t - no scenes with her clothes strategically ripped or anything! You can say this is a kids movie, intended for children and that’s why the sensuality of the female lead is so downplayed but there are PLENTY of kids movies that handle women in a very objectifying and sexualized manner despite the target audience is pre-pubescent. Like, a disgusting amount. So I don’t think “it’s a kids movie” is why the film doesn’t take ANY, let alone EVERY, opportunity to showcase the main female character’s sex appeal…
…especially considering the sex appeal of the film rests squarely on the well defined shoulders of our male lead, George of the Jungle played by Brendan Fraser in the best god damn shape of his life!
*Homer Simpson Drooling Noises*
Whenever members of the reddit community try to compare the sexualization of women in fiction to the design of characters such as Batman and Superman, I always want to just sit them down and show them this movie. Because THIS is what the female sexual fantasy looks like, and Batman and Superman are male power-fantasies. Look at him - his big blue eyes, his soft hair, his lean, chiseled physique built for dexterity rather than power. He’s wild and free, but gentle. It’s like he fell right out of that steamy romance novel your mom tried to hide from you growing up.
Hell, the whole plot seems to be designed around how damn hot he is! First, for the majority of the film, he wears only a small strip of cloth to cover the dick balls and ass. Everything else is FAIR GAME to drool over for 40 minutes. Then, after he meets Ursula she takes him with her to San Francisco just so we can enjoy him in a well-tailored suit (as seen in the gif set), running around in an open and billowy shirt along side horses while Ursula and all of her friends literally crowd around and make sexual comments about him, and my personal favorite, ditch the loincloth entirely and have him walk around naked while covering his man-bits with various objects while one of Ursula’s very lucky friends oogles him and makes a joke along the lines of “So THAT’S why they call him the ‘KING of the Jungle’…”
And yes, it’s also a very cute and funny little movie. Out of all the movies based on Jay Ward cartoons, it was the most faithful to the fast-paced humor and wit of the original source material (yes even the new Peabody and Sherman movie which honestly I thought was too cutesy-poo.) But that’s not why this movie is popular with the gay community or why we all became women in 1997. It’s just really cool that there’s a film out there where the sensuality of the female form takes a back seat for the oiled up, chiseled, physique of Brendan Fraser (in his prime that is)
One thing to add: in the scene mentioned above where the ladies are watching him in the billowy shirt running with the horses, it pans back to about 50 feet away to two guys in suits at this party looking at the women and one of the guys says, “Man, what is it with women and horses?” So not only does this movie highlight the female gaze, but it blatantly points out that western male sensibilities don’t have a clue what actually appeals to women.
ALSO
he’s non threatening
as mentioned above, he looks built for dexterity rather than power, but he’s still a 6+ foot tall extremely muscular man, and not once are you worried for Ursula when he’s with her
ALSO
let’s take a look at his rival - Lyle is a cravat-wearing trust-fund kid (who, interestingly, is into Ursula’s fortune more than her, which kind of makes this a gender-swapped gold-digger thing too). He’s blonde and Ursula’s mom LOVES him. He’s more uncomfortable and less prepared to cope with the jungle than Ursula is, in his pastels and shiny shoes.
But he talks over Ursula, insists he knows what’s best for her, ignores her autonomy. In spite of the fact that Lyle Van de Groot is a rich, educated, social climber who cares deeply about his clothing and appearances he is a point-by-point checklist of unhealthy masculinity in a way that beefy, inarticulate, uneducated George could never be. Ursula is off on her own doing her own thing and Lyle hires two FUCKING POACHERS to track her down in the middle of the jungle while she’s working (or on vacation? It’s never made clear because he interrupts her before she can explain why she went on the expedition). Lyle ignores the local guides, claiming his experience with a bridge in Maui means the bridge they’re on is safe - which leads to a significant injury for one of the guides. He then tells Ursula the guides are conspiring against him, trying to make himself and his poachers seem safe and the Africans who make up the rest of their party seem dangerous.
Check that body language! A post above points out that we’re never worried about Ursula when she’s around George. That’s because Lyle talks to her like this. Look at his aggressive lean! Look at him literally looking down at her! She’s tilted away from him in the least threatening position possible and he’s so aggressive about whatever point he’s making. When he finds her after he pushed her toward a damned lion he kisses her and she pushes him away. Want a textbook example of gaslighting? Here you go: she says “don’t get all smoochy with me! I remember what happened with that lion” and he responds “What are you talking about? I was fighting that lion the whole time - you were just so terrified you don’t remember.” Then he shoots George! And then he kidnaps Ursula and attempts to force her into marriage!
Now look at how George and Ursula interact (slightly NSFW):
Even though he’s a big strong dude and he thinks he’s doing what’s okay he lets her set the tone for their interactions. He accepts that he’s out of his wheelhouse and even if he doesn’t understand it he does what she says is culturally appropriate. He learns from her! He listens to her! Compare Lyle leaning into Ursula above to this image of George and Ursula talking:
He’s listening to her, all of his attention is on on her, but he’s totally nonthreatening. His torso is turned toward her but he’s not invading her space, his hands are clasped, he’s smiling, and she’s the one leaning into him. Look at that smile she has, look how happy she is to be listened to. Her posture in both images is vulnerable but in this one with George she’s vulnerable because she has chosen to share with him instead of because she feels threatened.
When George rescues Ursula from Lyle at the end of the film it isn’t a typical damsel situation - George doesn’t have a knock-down-drag-out fight with Lyle, he swings into a tree and offers Ursula a hand so she can reach up and save herself (and before he does it he acknowledges how much it’s going to hurt and *whimpers* and looks human and scared). And you’ve gotta remember that George rescues everybody. It’s not just Ursula - he also rescues a parasailer and gets shot rescuing Shep and Ape. He just likes helping, dammit!
AND this movie offers a perfect counter to the “nice guy” thing - Ursula starts engaged to a jerk who her mom thinks is a “nice guy” the moves on to actual nice man George who isn’t *just* nice - he’s also patient, listens to her, has his own skills and talents, is okay with being goofy, has his own social circle and isn’t totally dependent on Ursula, and looks amazing. Ursula doesn’t go with George just because he’s a *nice* guy who rescued her from an asshole, Ursula goes with George because he’s an interesting, fun person who is supportive of her different way of being an interesting, fun person. AND he’s emotionally available. Google image search George of the jungle and see how many smiles you can find, see how many open looks of confusion there are, see how much sadness you can see in George’s face. Now look for images of Lyle. His two expressions are a smirk and cartoonish fear. I know this is a cartoonish kid’s movie, but it is SO powerful that the hero shares his emotions while the villain masks every emotion but fear. Lyle doesn’t want to open up, he doesn’t want to be vulnerable, he wants CONTROL. George wants to learn, to protect people he cares about, to explore new places, to laugh when he’s happy and to be sad when he’s sad, and that he does that while being a broad-shouldered, physically powerful dude who is NOT totally self-involved is just…
Like, look, I didn’t sign on to tumblr dot com for George of the Jungle discourse, but I’m just now realizing that this movie may have done the most for destroying my conception of stoic masculinity and gender roles as a child.
Like
Damn.
2nd reblog because this is even better.
“These are my children.”
“They look nothing li—”
“LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE.”
for some reason I really like that she’s called Hilda.
This happened on my grandmothers farm when my mom was little,
baby ducks act a lot like baby chickens so in the beginning it wasn’t so bad
the main problem is that baby ducks LOVE water, but baby chickens get very very dead from it,
so you can imagine the mother hens surprise and horror the first time they go by the farm pond and ALL THE BABIES RUN TO THE WATER AND JUMP IN
my grandmother had to come out of the house to investigate all the noise the hen was making
The mother hen was clucking and screeching in distress and running circles around the pond while the duckies were having the time of their lives.
This happened a few more times before Momma hen was like FUCK IT YOU WANNA SWIM SEE WHAT I CARE , and would sit a distance away watching them in the pond.
if the ducks ever abandoned any eggs my grandmother would always put it under that particular hens nest cause from then on she always knew how to deal with her “water loving” delinquent children
BEST ADOPTED MUM
“water loving delinquent children” is the best phrase.
I noticed the other day that girls usually adapt to their bfs hobbies like if they enjoy idk surfing the girls will start learning facts about it and buying cute things related to it for them and being so proud of their bf like they’re a star even if they aren’t that great at surfing just out of pure love and joy ….. But men never fucking adapt to their gf’s interests like they can’t possibly care less about makeup for example or they’ll just complain about them taking too long to get ready instead of sharing the passion for it and watching them create something beautiful and being interested in why is it that it makes her feel better to do her makeup. Men are so used to not trying at all fuck that tbh!!!!
yall are just dating the wrong fucking people lmao
Seriously, you ARE dating the wrong people. I work in a makeup store and the sheer amount of guys that are fully engaged in what their girlfriends/wives are doing with makeup surprised me. Yes there’s a lot of guys who scoff and roll their eyes about being in the PRESENCE of makeup, but there’s sooooo many that are consistently engaged, looking at colours wanting to help (even when they’re visibly confused and you can see they want to help but don’t know how). My boyfriend even knows more than I thought just from listening to me talk.
Find better quality guys that take interest in your interests and stop settling for assholes.
the person you’re dating should be your best friend. Not as in, date your best friend, but as in if your partner doesn’t engage with you at the same level as a best friend (or even just a friend), there is something wrong. It’s not long term material. Couples that act like men and women are ‘opposite’ sides in the relationship game are such a weird concept for me. ‘Oh, we’re married, my wife is basically an obstacle to me getting a nice night out with my friends haha’ or ‘oh my boyfriend doesn’t do any of the housework ahahaha boys am I right?“ like, ?????? you,re not supposed to be on opposite sides, both pulling to get what you want. You’re supposed to be a TEAM. that’s, like, the whole point of a relationship. Like, not only does my boyfriend know and care about my interests, even the ones I rant about that know bore him a little (and vice versa - I now know a lot about Eve Online and he knows more than he has probably ever wanted to know about star wars fanfiction), he also knows about my day to day stuff. Like, I’ll ask him to do the laundry and he’ll answer “okay but where’s the little net bag you put your bras in so they don’t get stretched in the washer?” because he fucking LISTENED when I bought it and told him what it was for. like I said. You’re a team, conquering adult life together. That goes for everything, from getting excited and calling him over when I spot a simulator game on sale at the store (even though wtf simulator games I will never get the point of them) to figuring out the most efficient way to keep the living room clean. *high fives my boyfriend, cartwheels out of the house*
-My boyfriend learnt how to plait hair because he knows that I struggle with it and now he is better than most girls I know. -I try my best to learn about classic cars and stuff because he loves stuff like that. - He can do my makeup better than I can - I’m trying to learn Spanish because he lives in Spain now. - He watched a full web series I love even though he hated it because I got super excited about it and he wanted to understand what I was excited about. -We went snowboarding in Bulgaria because I wanted to try a hobby of his.
We are a team, we have separate interests, the same interests and we create new interests together.
Date someone that supports you, date your partner in crime. Don’t date someone that doesn’t support your interests dude.
Like I actually do know the social pressures and bullshit that lead to women settling. As a culture it IS normed for women to learn about his interests, while making fun of men who reciprocate, and that’s a shitty thing that can be hard to overcome. But gods, it’s WORTH DOING SO; don’t settle.
my spouse watches my shows with me (even when he doesn’t care for them), he actively asks if i want or need new make up when we pass my favorite makeup stores, he likes it when i read excerpts of my current books or movies, he asks after my succulents.
“These are my children.”
“They look nothing li—”
“LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE.”
for some reason I really like that she’s called Hilda.
This happened on my grandmothers farm when my mom was little,
baby ducks act a lot like baby chickens so in the beginning it wasn’t so bad
the main problem is that baby ducks LOVE water, but baby chickens get very very dead from it,
so you can imagine the mother hens surprise and horror the first time they go by the farm pond and ALL THE BABIES RUN TO THE WATER AND JUMP IN
my grandmother had to come out of the house to investigate all the noise the hen was making
The mother hen was clucking and screeching in distress and running circles around the pond while the duckies were having the time of their lives.
This happened a few more times before Momma hen was like FUCK IT YOU WANNA SWIM SEE WHAT I CARE , and would sit a distance away watching them in the pond.
if the ducks ever abandoned any eggs my grandmother would always put it under that particular hens nest cause from then on she always knew how to deal with her “water loving” delinquent children
BEST ADOPTED MUM
“water loving delinquent children” is the best phrase.
i hate when ppl are like “you have problems with doing things like memory and setting goals? write them down, make a schedule:)”
the aforementioned things make that a little difficult
“Defeat executive dysfunction by utilizing your executive functioning! It’s easy!”
so people are reblogging this post and i’ve gotten a few comments along the lines of “it’s like needing scissors to open the container your scissors are in”
and that’s exactly what it’s like
and i feel like there are a lot of people misunderstanding what this post was trying to say (commenting things like “trying isn’t a bad thing though!!! it really does work!!!!!!”)
but it’s like the scissors comparison
no one is saying they’ve given up trying to open the package–it’s just a complaint because this situation is frustrating
because when people give this kind of advice it’s kind of like saying “but you have those scissors in that container right there!! just open it with those!:) it’s not that hard if you try!!!”
but then when you ask for help because you can’t get the container open or you take a break because trying to rip it apart with your hands is exhausting and hurts, people yell at you for being lazy and not trying hard enough
this post is just saying that this situation is frustrating and how there should be better alternatives–i wish someone could lend me their scissors or a knife or SOMETHING instead of CONSTANTLY being expected to open the package with the scissors inside
what makes it even more frustrating is the fact that the scissors only last one use, so you have to struggle with this business with the container EVERY time you need to use them and no one seems to understand that it’s hard because they all have a knife or an extra pair of scissors to help them open theirs
kitty bunker
just silly doodles on underswap character
the swap brother. made us!paps younger for the sake of idea of the three paps to go to school together when they were young.
x
practicing more on animation
Vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry Eclair from the spider bakery, 25G each. Yum, yum!
omg so cute
20160724~27
“ Papyrus Grows Up - [1] ”
Comic :it’s me!
Special Thanks for helping to translate ! : @cabaretcypher
i drew this short comic about Papyrus on the middle on the Hot Summer!
bro why
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