my own world

[aylee-ann] i'm this 21 year-old-girl who still holds onto the belief that my person is out there somewhere. i love writing, and getting all melancholy out of the blue. winter is my type of season and hot chocolate is my favorite thing in the world. and there are just oh so many other things about me in this blog

[vscogold]

[nineteenandtwo]

dear ann

[nineteenandtwo]

hey

that was our greeting line. till now i can’t look at those three letters and not think of you. there are so many memories related to that one word, i don’t even know where to start. 

- you aren’t the sweet kind of guy with smooth pick up lines. you’re you, a little bit broody, a tad bit reserved, you’re clumsy with words, but you do try. i remember my heart skipping a beat whenever you say my name-- it’s my favorite thing in the world. i don’t hear people say my name so often here so when I do, it just warms my heart.  i remember us sitting by the swings once, you were looking at me-- eyes soft and lips curling upward into a smile. “you’re like injera to me. it’s something I have everyday. a day won’t be complete without it.” that was about the sweetest thing you ever said to me. 

i remember you calling me at 3AM because you missed me. we talked for an hour or so. i had work the next day, but i was craving to hear your voice so there i was, half-asleep, listening to you ranting about life anyway. 

i remember you coming to see me on your day off, buying a whole bucket of ice cream and giving me that smile of yours. it was that energy pill that i needed to go through the day. 

i remember our silly talks and you always being like “shut up, ann” in the end. it would always make me smile. always 

i remember when having your arms around me was enough. when us being together was enough. 

[vscogold]

[nineteenandtwo]

my boyfriend: a thread

• probably around 6′ tall  • a softie at heart (which i love) & caring • meticulous & responsible • can be a tad bit broody sometimes • has the brightest smile in the universe • occasionally cute • asks me for help way too many times  • has a thing for my hair  • into movies, especially animation movies • hardcore game of thrones fan  • dreams of working as a software developer/IT • stole 2 hairbands from me & keeps them around his wrist • gives the best hugs-- the kind of hug that makes you swoon • damn serious about getting 7-8hrs sleep per day •

[nineteenandtwo]

a recap of what happened

• we went on about 10 dates altogether  • we kissed the day before he left Auckland (twice) but srsly there’s nothing much to remember BUT GOD DAMN IT HE’S MY FIRST KISS OKAY?? • we were apparently “dating in a sense” (but not really)  • i was left heartbroken for almost a month, feeling like i was the only one who actually gave a fuck • i met up with him in Auckland for the last time and it was awkward as hell-- i wish i could change things and that we could be friends (like real friends, y’know), but life’s a bitch and he’s a jerk  • i haven’t talked to him for about 3 weeks and i don’t think he’ll make an initiative  • i’ve completely moved on from the douchebag that’s him • no regrets, really. i did my best. i gave it my all and sometimes it comes down to whether the person is willing to do the same or not • goodbye, my chef’s palette crush-- this will be my last post about you on here. maybe i’ll make this more detailed later (for writing purposes that is), but that’s about it.  • i liked you, i really did.

[nineteenandtwo]

and we meet again

so after realizing that the person texting me was actually not him (i know, a fatal mistake that literally distracted me for a whole night), i decided to let him go and stop daydreaming. i didn’t see him for a whole week and didn’t think i would this week as well (with me only working on 3 days and whatnot). 

i was supposed to work today but due to a small incident, i volunteered to take a day off. just as i was pondering where to go, i saw him, slowly walking towards the food court by himself. in my head, at that time, there were 2 options: (1) walking away and possibly never having that opportunity again, or (2) seizing the chance and actually make a move. i stopped and let out a long “heyyy” 

he looked surprised, but soon there was a smile ghosting over his lips. 

we went for a coffee & i don’t think i’ve laughed so much in a long time. the flow of the conversations was great and i just enjoyed his company, a lot. 

“I’d like to take you out to dinner some time ... within next month if you’re up for it.”  “wait, let me just check my calendar,” i told him, pretending to pull out my notebook. 

i walked him back to his office (which, frankly, made me feel a bit weird because damn it, i walked him to his place and then to his working place). 

i don’t really want to rush things, and i’m just so scared of falling, but i think i might just like him more than i’d ever admit. so there’s definitely going to be a date soon. 

[nineteenandtwo]

not to be dramatic or anything, but i think he texted me today. 

not to be dramatic or anything, but i think i might or might not have a silly crush on him.

not to be dramatic or anything, but him telling me he was having a cold and that “eating ice-cream was probably not the best decision” is one of the highlights of the day. 

not to be dramatic or anything, but i think he’s cute (almost as cute as yixing)

[nineteenandtwo]

shoutout to the gst receipt guy

so I’ve been thinking of quitting chef’s palette to move on with my life and pursue a better career. and while it does sound so very much appealing to me, i still can’t come to terms with the fact that i’ll have to bid goodbye to some really lovely people i’ve grown really attached to throughout my 6 months working there (i know, half a bloody year working there already). 

and one of the people i’d hate to leave is him.

i was moved to do the till for the first time, still fumbling around, struggling with the cashier machine and the eftpos machines all at once without making mistakes. he was literally the first one (ever) to ask for a gst receipt. i’m pretty sure i just stood there, dumbfounded while my mind was racing at light speed trying to figure out what he meant by ‘gst receipt’. i did figure out in the end but it took me a good 10-minute and the line was getting super long and i swear i was inwardly cursing at myself for being so incompetent and whatnot. 

in my defense, i did get the hang of it after a time or two. soon, i was literally the master of printing out gst receipts. if there ever was a title like that, i’d be the one owning it. no questions asked. 

i got to the point where i’d be printing it in advance whenever i saw him way down the line and just silently place it on his order. that was until he told me one day that he didn’t need them anymore. no more gst receipts that would make me suffer (i mean, i was pretty cool about printing them out by myself at that point but okay). 

“oh, you don’t?” 

“yeah, i don’t need them anymore.” 

“right,” i said awkwardly, quickly shoving the gst receipt away, “saves me the trouble then, i suppose.” 

“yeah.” 

and we both laughed as i handed him his order. “yeah,” i repeated, nodding my head, still beaming from ear to ear.

after that, we would just break into the widest grins whenever we see each other. and it’s a tad bit awkward but it’s kind of funny as well? i don’t know how to explain it but it truly (always) makes my day whenever he shows up and flashes one of his grins. 

my stomach would do this funny thing where it just twists a little inside and the corners of my lips would curl up into the brightest smile ever, slightly chuckling (as bright as one could be at work, at least). he’s a familiar face i find myself seeking for in the long line of customers. 

i think i smiled a little brighter when i saw him today, queuing in line with his colleagues. i had to keep a cool face, but i swear whenever our eyes meet i just break into this really weird, embarrassing wide grin. air leaves my lungs and suddenly my mind just goes blank. it happens every single time. no joke. 

but hey, i managed to squeeze out a strangled ‘hey’ before i almost choked so that’s sort of an improvement? but anyway, after the usual exchanging stupidly wide grins part, i asked him how his day had been (way to go, ann!!) 

sadly enough, i can’t recall what he told me in response. but he asked what my name was right after. and boy, i was shook. 

his name is wernsten (but i might have misheard him, or my memory might be just that bad) i’ll ask for confirmation next time. it was really busy today (rush hour and all that) so i couldn’t really neglect my duties and have a chit chat with him. 

all in all, shout out to the gst receipt guy for making chef’s a more bearable place and for always putting a grin on my face. i don’t want to jump ahead of myself, but i’d probably say ‘yes’, if he ever asked me out (which will most definitely never happen). just a little fun fact y’know

[pleoros]

[nineteenandtwo]

taking a break

I have decided to take a break from social media for a while, especially tumblr and twitter. 

I feel like I’ve been spending way too much time on these two social network platforms for almost nothing fruitful or anything helpful for my own self. I should definitely work on my own time management and use my time wisely. I want to spend my time on myself-- bettering myself and present the future with a better me.

EXO’s comeback has certainly taken a toll on me, mostly because Yixing is totally excluded. There’s no trace of him in the comeback as if he were never a member to begin with. This has profoundly affected me and my media use for the last few weeks has mainly evolved around this certain issue. 

I’m honestly tired and exhausted of reading stuff and constantly being on the other end of receiving bad news, consuming news that negatively affect me. I love Yixing and I wish him well, but I do feel like this is starting to spiral out of control. I will still go on here every now and then. I just won’t update news that frequently anymore. I trust in my boy-- I know he’ll be able to do what’s right. 

On another note, I am also writing this note as a vow. I vow to study hard this tri and work as hard as I can. I vow to start assignments early and not waste my time on things that ain’t worth it. I also vow to learn more history and delve a little deeper into politics. I am determined to finish a couple of books and continue with the half-finished stories that are still waiting. I want to make 2017 memorable so I will do my best. 

[nineteenandtwo]

yixing

- i like him i love him. a lot. my daily pill (or dose) of happiness. (i just need to see him on my dash or see him as my own homescreen and my day just gets a whole lot better. and his smile? it means everything to me) - i can’t understand how there are people who just blatantly stop loving/supporting this man after the news came out. If there’s anyone that deserves the world, it is him. Zhang Yixing.  - he’s the cutest thing (don’t tell him i said that/ he hates it when people call him cute, but then again he keeps being cute eottoke?)  - he’s the most talented person to grace the earth (alright, this is a bit of an overstatement. Love is blind, so I’ll just go with the flow. He’s a composer, a singer, a dancer, a dance choreographer, an actor, an ambassador, an author, and many more. I don’t have the time to type down all the things he can do so just bear with these ones for now)  - he loves his fans (oh boy, he reads fans letters and grins like an idiot, he reacts to his fans reacting to his own videos, he always cares about his fans, he reads the comments his fans leave him, his fans are everything to him and vice versa. always grateful this boy) - king of china (he deserves the title because honestly he’s just soooo proud being chinese and it truly is admirable- makes me question me and my nationality sometimes lol) - a healing and precious unicorn/ a little sheep (he’s moved up a level to a clever sheep now thanks to go fighting-- anyway, I swear he’s just so precious I don’t even know where to begin. he’s a ray of sunshine/a fluff ball that needs to be protected at all costs. just watch his interviews and him on variety shows to see how much of a cutie pie he is. The fact that there are some dumbasses hating on this angel is still the mystery of the century.)

[nineteenandtwo]

trimester 1

Alright, so far I’ve received the grades for my two education papers. I got two A+s for my final tests (i am over the moon, yes)- mostly because I did rather lousy throughout the tri until picking up towards the end of it.  Here’s a short summary of the two education papers I did this tri (the media paper will have a separate update once I receive my final grade /yikes) 

EDUC 221: 

For the love of god, this paper took such a toll on me. You know, each trimester there will be that one paper you wish you had dropped when you had the chance, but you never do because you think it might get better. So instead of dropping it like everyone else (without remorse), you cling onto it just to realize it would turn out to be a fatal mistake. In my case, this paper is exactly that one paper. I hate(d) it with every living fiber, with every second that passes. I just didn’t like the lecturer (I dozed off two times in the lectures which is a record because I’ve never been bored to the point where I couldn’t force my eyes open), my tutor was hyped up 90% of the time (I still can’t tell whether it’s a good or bad thing), all the freaking concepts were only vaguely discussed, and the learning content was just terribly disorganized. Anyway, I got an A+ for my final test (for which I have studied a couple of days, even set aside some time to study it with Kara). I ain’t complaining about the paper because in the end things worked out just fine. 

Well, I still kind of have this distaste for the paper /coughs, but I do think it is a whole lot more tolerable than before. Bless my final grade, and the marker for recognizing the hard work I put into typing down 2200 words in only 90 minutes. 

Final Grade: A- 

EDUC 241

Out of the three papers I did this tri, this one was actually the one I missed the least classes (a round of applause for the young lady please). I enjoyed the class, and Sasha is probably also another reason why I barely missed any lectures (she missed only one so we’re even, but still that’s a level of dedication I would probably never have just by myself). Anyway, it did remind me of EDUC 141 (my favorite paper of all times taught by Chris aka my favorite lecturer of all times). It’s more like a science paper instead of EDUC 221, and delves more into the science aspects of education and learning with cognitive psychology and other interesting new knowledge. I immensely enjoyed it, although at times I felt like the information given were pretty much overlapping each other, and overwhelming in some ways. I did take away some interesting information from the course which might (or might not) be put into use in the coming future. 

- Distributed practice  - Insights into memory - Positive punishment/negative punishment - Positive reinforcement/negative reinforcement  - It is proven that reinforcement works better compared to punishment - AND A LOT MORE/ FOR FURTHER INFORMATION LOOK UP THE QUIZLET ACCOUNT OR GO THROUGH THE NOTES 

(Due to the A+ I got in my final test, my grade moved up to 85 which is A. I got just enough for it to move up a grade /tears of joy)

Final Grade: A

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[megvn-vshley-deactivated2017122]