The many tails of Ningendo @ningendostails - Tumblr Blog

The continent of Sky Oram. Red lines represents borders.

School is so misleading. They try to “prepare” you for life, to guide you into the working-life. You get some education in a field you may want to work with, but what they don’t tell you is that life does not go as planned. Sure, it’s nice to have a goal, and in the start that may be very helpful, but then life takes an unexpected turn, and you’ll end up somewhere you never imagined. Try to become as independent as you can, for if you rely on others, they are the ones deciding your way. Do what you can by yourself.

Oh man, I don’t feel too hot nowadays. Things are sort of bumpy, though some pieces has gone the way they should, like me getting a job at a Toys R Us, a paid job at that. But still, dark thoughts comes creeping. If anyone askes how I’m feeling, I’ll just say things are swell, I don’t really know how else to respond. Like, I want to confide in somebody, but I just don’t know how too, it just makes me feel self-centered, which is something I don’t want to be. I’ve been around too many self-centered people throughout my life, and when I tried to open up about something, they’d just shrug it off and tell me it’s like this for everybody. If everybody felt this way all the time, I don’t even want to know what would happen then. I just feel so tired nowadays, I don’t have energy for anything, and at work I’m just running on fumes. It’s not like a physical thing either, like you feel when you’ve just eaten fast food for a while. No, it’s like my brain is tired. And I feel this most after I’ve slept. I’m not sure if I’m even dreaming anymore, with a very few rare exceptions, it just feels like I wake up after dosing off, even though it’s been 8ish hours.

Anyways, have a Deathwing drawing I drew in 10th grade during class, good to see I spent my time well.

A light in the end of the tunnel

So, for the first time in over a year, I don’t feel like utter shit. In about 3 months, I’ll be moving to a more central part of Norway, in the same district that I’ve lived in the past 10 years prior to the second half of 2014, where 99% of my friends live. The job marked down there, is 100 times better than here, and it’s not even a metaphor. It’s the first definite thing I’ve looked forward to for a long while.

Well then, number 2 on the waiting list for my school, but school began weeks ago, so it doesn’t look like I’ll be a student this year either, so I guess I’m in for another wasted year. I keep applying for any job I can find, and I’ve been to two interviews, but no job yet. I’m starting to doubt I’ll ever get a job until I get me some higher education, which is so out of reach.

Huh

I have some parts in my personallity that are so conflicting. Basically, I’ve been dissapointed ALOT throughout my short life, so I don’t really expect much out of people. Yet when I do get let down, I do get dissapointed, even though I didn’t expect anything else. The positive part about this, is when people don’t let me down, it has a much bigger impact. The worst thing about it, however, is that I don’t expect much out of my self, so I end up dissapointing myself much more than I’d like. Sometimes however, I manage to break out of this vicious circle, for instance when it’s something school-related. I managed to score a 3 out of 6 math grade last semester, which is AMAZING for me, considering I had never scored higher than a 1 before that, which means flunk. I did, however, flunk two other subjects that year, Norwegian & Media. And I really tried hard, and I was so sure I wouldn’t flunk, but I did. Leading to me not getting into uni, and having to have the most dull life this past year. I’ve applied for a third year of high school for a second time though, and I’ll know if I’ve gotten in later this summer. Again, I have conflicting feelings about how it will go, I doubt I’ll get in, but at the same time I think I will. If I do get in, I’ll be so darn happy, because I need to be able to go through uni as soon as humanly possible, in order to get the one job I actually want, the one and only I can see myself enjoying myself at.

Norwegian Funfact #1

Instead of saying girlfriend or boyfriend, we’ve got the gender-neutral “kjæreste” which means “my dearest”, and that is probably my favoritue thing about my native language.

#norwegian #norway #gender neutral #language fun fact

It’s been a year now, since I had a proper internet connection. The kind of internet I’ve currently got is one where I can spend 10 GB each month, and getting a proper one will be too expensive for me, since the house isn’t even hooked up to the grid. Anywho. I never thought I’d miss something so much, I’m amazed to see how much impact the internet actually has got on me. With it, I can play online games with people I like, and chat on skype meanwhile, or stream whatever tv series or movie I want, or simply just doing research without having to wait for milennia. Without it, I’m constricted to offline games, which do get lonely. And even worse, I’ve found myself drained of all will to draw, I draw so rarely these days. I so hope I do get into a school after this summer, because I don’t think I can do many more years like this past year. Luckily I’ve made a couple of friends up here, so that’s the positive thing of living up here. Other than that, I’m basically a slave in a grocery store, earning 45 NOK per hour, (150-ish) is the common starters pay. Each month I get 6900 NOK (3500 goes to rent), and if I had a common salary, I’d get atleast 22.000 NOK per month. Oh yeah, by the way, it’s an internship, so I get my money from the state instead of the employer. And also, 1 euro is 8 NOK, if you were wondering. Starting to get real tired of looking for jobs now, my resumè and applications are fantastic, they’re approved by someone who approves stuff like this for a living, and I apply for 4 jobs per week regularly. Yet still, I haven’t even been called in for an interview. About 16 jobs per month I apply for, and not even a darn interview, no wonder I’ve taken up smoking again... Anywho, sorry for whining, it’s just that this past year is really starting to get into my head, and I don’t really have any other outlets. Update; I got called in for a job interview today (1st of july), only to have them call me back a minute later basically telling me they’re blowing me off. That’s one big dickslap in the face.

A remastered Lucifurion as #1. My painting of the Okami as #1, sexy as hell me as #3, straight after dying my hair, beard & eyebrows brown, though it looks more like red. Oh well, a few washes and it’ll look natural.

So here’s a little update on what I’ve been up to lately drawing-wise. Been drawing relatively little, but I’m on my way back. I even bought some acryl paint and a canvas, and the result you can see on the bottom picture.

I laughed a little...

#Swag-a-tron Bromosexual hashtagsareretarded

So I re-did my old cover of Twilight of the Thundergod, which was fun, because now I'm really seeing my progress. I've also gotten inspiration for some new drawings, and I'm going to try out some new techniques, which'll be fun.