Whoever's listening
I haven't logged into this account for years. I was 25 last time, I am now 29. Last time I made a post, I was with my sweet Brian.
He was an angel, and is an angel.
He passed away 8/1/2023 from an accidental overdose.
FUCK FENTANYL
This loss took my place in the world and subsequently gave me a true purpose. I need to help anyone I can who have lost loved ones to addiction or anyone who struggles with addiction themselves.
I love him so much; I'll always love him.
Since painfully sifting through the trials and tribulations of my relationship with Brian, I healed from the grief of everything (both our relationship and his life), and an angel fell into my existence. His name is Jacob.
He is everything I wanted from Brian and Brian told me the day we broke up that "One day You'll thank me for leaving you so someone better could come along and love you the way you need"
Sucks that it couldn't be him, and he admitted that to me while simultaneously leading me on and reinforcing my co-dependency on him.
Though now, I have Brian's lessons, memories and precious moments in my head and my heart forever and although I shouldn't, I still find myself longing for his posthumous acceptance from time to time. his voice and his words of wisdom rings in my ears always.
I'm in college to be a therapist and to hopefully help those who struggle with addiction or those who have loved ones who do.
Here's to the next post I make in 4-5 years.
Let's go....
