👀

[littlegirlkylie]

reblog if it's okay to send you a nude

[bitchh]

2hr makeout session ft inappropriate touching sounds so good rn

[somenerdthing]

[the-memedaddy]

meirl

[theotherendcomics]

This all happened because he went “all the way”.

And Happy (slightly late) Birthday, Isabel!

[theotherendcomics]

So Freddie’s a cosmic being, now

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[1dietcokeinacan]

I just watched this 6 times in a row. A masterpiece

[adulthoodisokay]

UNMUTE

[assthetically-pleasing3-deactiv]

I know I’ve been posting a lot of butt lately. Apparently showing some ass has been one of my main sources of staving off boredom in quarantine.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[cyberbearpiebakery]

😂

[everythingfox]

“no thank..”

(via

[thesassyducks]

Karen, now is not the time for your nonsense. 

(via)

[the-memedaddy]

Me_irl

[autismandstuff]

[blogbunnyrabbit]

[decabus]

this meme made me realise that other people apparently know how to show empathy without personal anecdotes 

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

… how…. please teach me

[idontknowanymoreaaaaaa]

I’m pretty sure none of us will get answers but please…if someone knows the secrets to showing empathy without personal anecdotes please speak up. We need answers

[lil-tumbles]

(Me (adhd + autism) can show empathy, but not sympathy. For me, it’s like I do the exact same thing, but as well as showing empathy through anecdotes I show sympathy through empathy).

[dragoninhumanskin]

@decabus @some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat @messynogenderpotato

I have somethin I guess? I’ve been the Support Friend for most of my life so I managed to get it down to a formula. TW: dog death

1. Ask Questions

This is mainly to keep them talking, that way a) they feel like they have a confidante in you, and b) the pressure is less on you to Say Things. In fact it shouldn’t be about you Saying Things at all, it should be you figuring out where they’re at and trying to understand.  E.g. “My dog died, I miss him.” Ask questions, and when they start talking, let them talk. “What was his name?” “How and when did he die?” “Tell me about him.” “What was he like?” “What’s your favourite memory of him?” “When did you first meet him?” “Did you teach him any tricks?” Again the point is to keep them talking, the questions are just to get them on a roll. If you’re worrying about what to say next, listen to what they’re saying and ask details of what they’re currently talking about, or mentally prepare your next question.

2. Listen

Let them talk. The more you listen to them talk, the more they feel like it’s okay to talk to you. If they dwindle off, ask them something else to get them talking again. Upset people usually have a lot to say.

Every now and again you can throw in little sentences like “Wow, what a bitch!” “Aw, so sad.” “What the fuck? Why?” just to prove you’re still listening and following, and haven’t wandered off into space.

3. When they’re done, give it back to them

It’s a technique called mirroring. Sum up whatever you heard in short form - if they’ve talked for half an hour about the little details of their deceased pet, say something like “It sounds like he was a very good boy/sounds like he meant a lot to you/sounds like you will miss him.” It’s been known to make people dissolve into a sobbing mess, because this is the part where you prove you’ve done your homework, you listened, you care, you get it.

4. If you really want to offer a solution, ask first. You can just skip this step altogether tbh.

Only when someone has finished talking about whatever is upsetting them, ask if you can help. “Can I offer some advice?”  Now is the time for SHORT anecdotes. Short. It’s not about you sharing your story, it’s about them getting advice. Remember they don’t have to take your advice, again it’s about them and their emotions, and they know themselves best. “When my dog died, I did this. Would that help?” “I read somewhere about doing this. Maybe try that and see how it goes?”

Hope this helps y’all. The TL;DR of all this is basically listen, and prove you’re listening.

[idontknowanymoreaaaaaa]

Thank you!!!

[sgo-resources]

That explanation really is so good!

[aidans-husband]

as someone with ADHD: this has saved me

[frogoclock]

So I’ve been trained in this therapy style called motivational interviewing(hi, psychology researcher here) and I’m honestly amazed at how you literally managed to break down exactly what that therapy style is into textbook examples. I will add that its important to throw in affirmations too, and you can combine them with reflective statements! Like, “You’re a really caring person to be so affected by XYZ thing.” It helps from your side of feeling like you’re comforting more then just nodding at them throughout and reflecting at them. And to add on to your final point, cause you nailed reflective statements, a big part about this style is not trying to solve other people’s problems and instead letting them talk until they come around to that solution themselves. Technically you can guide them to a solution with some aimed reflective statements but it’s much more effective to have people come up with these ideas themselves and just talk themselves around to the point of what they needed to hear.

tldr; let people talk enough that they say what they need to hear to themselves

[jessicaarider]

I’m sorry officer, was I speeding? 🚔

[dennis-van-der-zandt]

[feedmemoreplz]

Bluechews

[bay-area-dude]