[Early morning in Arthur’s chambers, Merlin is pulling the curtains, while Arthur is still asleep]
Merlin: Alright, up and at ’em!
Merlin: Come on.
Arthur: [groans] I need more sleep.
Merlin: Up!
Arthur: Leave me alone.
Merlin: Come on.
Merlin: [stuffs a scone into Arthur’s mouth] Shagging me all night is no excuse to sleep in.
Merlin: Oh and I have a surprise for you.
Arthur: [suddenly interested] A surprise?!
Merlin: [busying himself at Arthur’s desk] Yeah, I wrote you a feedback.
Arthur: [still in bed, but now propped on his elbows] A *feedback*.
Merlin: Just a few remarks and judicious pointers. [unrolls a very long scroll of parchment]
Arthur: That was our *first* time together.
Merlin: [gazing proudly at his lengthy work] Nothing wrong with a little constructive criticism.
Arthur: [staring in dismay] You can’t be serious.
Merlin: First, foreplay. We were a little rushed, there.
Arthur: I call it passionate.
Merlin: Next, stamina. Let’s say you’re out of practice.
Arthur: [looks away and pouts]
Merlin: Creativity… I’ve seen better.
Arthur: [looks at Merlin in surprise]
Merlin: Endowment. [looks at Arthur under his eyelashes] I’d say average.
Arthur: [now positively insulted] Now hang on.
Merlin: Enthusiasm. [grinning] Quite endearing!
Arthur: [terminally embarrassed, flops back on his pillow]
Arthur: [mumbles as he rolls over away from Merlin and burrows under his cover] Trust me to fall for an utter prat.
Merlin: [smiling] On the upside, it can only get better from here.
Merlin: [goes to Arthur] Come on, don’t sulk.
Merlin: [tries to wrench the cover from Arthur’s resisting hands] You just need practice!
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