Using The Term Book Club With Poetic License

[nittygrittybookclub]

It’s been 6 months since my C-section and I have the following to report:

1. When I say it hurts to cough people ask about the scar and to be clear I mean it rattles my insides to the core

2. We need those safety grab bars in all our home bathrooms. Emergency surgery comes at you fast

3. Macduff’s mother was already dead. So dead.

The Bard didn’t mean it as a slightly against c-section babies. The option to survive the craziest surgery known to mankind is entirely modern

[nittygrittybookclub]

I really respect when an actor recognizes that they can only emote in their natural speaking voice and is like yeah I can’t do accents.

But at the same time I’m not sure we were prepared for a super Scottish Gandalf.

[nittygrittybookclub]

I just love that every “but why would they do that” in the lord of the rings movies can be explained by the books. It’s just so unlikely we’ll get films that are as beautiful and amazing as them anytime soon and yet so many changes had to be made from the books in order for them to work

So I’m really not interested in any nepo baby nonsense about it being impossible to do a faithful adaptation of a beloved novel

[nittygrittybookclub]

Them: You can’t judge a movie by its trailer

Me: if only there was a short piece media whose sole purpose was to convince me to watch the movie

[nittygrittybookclub]

We all agree that the Twilight side characters are infinitely more interesting than the Cullens but since Stephanie Meyer insists on writing new books about them I have the following small town PSA for Stephanie.

The Cullens can never return to Forks. They are infamous in a town of 3,000 people. The story of the new girl in town getting teen married into the weird loner family then all disappearing … that is part of the local lore for so many generations. You certainly can’t have another weird loner family move back to town let alone into that house. Either it’s an abandoned mansion that is part of local history or the Cullens rent it out but any family that moves into it will forever be hearing “oh you moved into the old Cullen place?!”

[nittygrittybookclub]

The real question is what does Bella Swan think of the new Wuthering Heights movie

[nittygrittybookclub]

We need to introduce the “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus” effect

Instead of misremembering an event it’s when we all collectively came to a different conclusion

[nittygrittybookclub]

When we get a proper Wuthering Heights adaptation it will have Stone Sour’s “Say You’ll Haunt Me” on the soundtrack

The end credits song will be “Snuff” by Slipknot.

And there needs to be an original song by Sofia Isella

OH and the trailer song will be Hozier’s “It Will Come Back”