Seventh Day of Second Seed, 2E 583
It’s been almost two weeks since the attack and thanks to Lorelei I feel a lot better now than I did when infected. I feel I have more energy to do something more useful than be focused on my negatives. Unfortunately positive energy and mindset have drifted away briefly with the latest news of the Order and the problems facing it. Therian informed a group of us at the time that the trade routes have been attacked by werewolves. For a while I imagined the whole reason it was brought up was to make that excuse to why I was bitten to begin with and cover the culprit. Instead not only did Therian bring me up as a victim, which bugged the living shit out of me, he also informed those people employed by him to go ahead and assist in finding out where these creatures are hiding.
I stood before several people the day I took them to my destroyed home. I lied to them all about who did it. Who bit me, how many were involved. Not every person I come across are so easily fooled so I couldn't pull the covers over their eyes for long. Along with that it was just how my home looked made it more suspicious. Sometimes I think what I do is to protect someone, the scheming and lying out loud so they don’t have to worry about anyone coming after them. I do what I do to protect the few people I actually care for and sometimes they don’t really take on that realization that what I say is to keep them safe.
Xavier has been missing since the meeting. I however found him roaming in and out of the city around the same time daily to meet with his fellow officer who has been left in command. This day I decided to follow along and spy on as he headed down south. Yet I wonder if Xavier knew I was there to begin with as his werewolf blood runs deep and his sense of smell must have caught me at some point. I tried to stay down wind as much as I could to avoid detection. I found him there tapping on a rock, no idea why. When one normally feels and taps around they are looking for something so maybe he was there to fetch something in particular. If he did I never saw it.
I got angry at Xavier but I bent just a little as I tried to tell him that I covered for him. He didn’t care. In fact he spoke as if he wasn't Xavier at all. He was someone else, hiding in the husk which is the Redguard’s body. Not just that but his pack came roaming in from all directions. There had to be at least thirty of them, far too many for me to take on. I had to retreat using a clever device I came upon called a smoke bomb and moved into the water as I ran off for safety. They are dogs and scent can’t be sniffed out on water. I didn’t look back. If I had my way Xavier would have been returning with me but he wasn’t there even if his voice and his eyes were as I remember. For the first time in a long time I worry.
Xavier and I have been through so much together. We hated one another for the longest of time and with good reason as I tried to turn his friendship with young lord arie when they kidnapped me. I lived in the same home he did for months without speaking to him unless needed. Then that day happened when I asked Xavier to come with me to deal with some bandits which had somehow found their way to the Kingsley doorstep. Of course he jumped, jumped high to protect his brother and I wanted to protect someone special to me. We traveled south after gaining information of their location only to be ambushed and taken hostage. Xavier suffered a beating and I was overwhelmed to the ground. I killed a dozen men that day I think. I was so much of a threat the bandit leader had to place on a metal ring around my neck. It prohibited the use of my magic and to this day since my escape with Xavier I kept this item with me in my bag. An item the Scholars of the Order would be interested in I’m sure. Through days of torture, humiliation our spirits became stronger and be bonded through our neutral hate and want of those men dead. He sacrificed his honor for me and hundreds of trapped slaves. Xavier came back for me though as the cave walls rumble with explosions. He saw me when I was...
<The parchment paused and a gap is seen. Small dots indicated tapping upon the parchment there thought had come to pause all writing to find the right words to use.>
...I was on the verge of being taken against my will. Xavier came in, pushing a blade into his chest from behind of the bandit before he assaulted me any further. Yes... Xavier has seen me at my lowest and in my darkest hours. He was a friend to me after all of this, supporting me through my separation from the young lord and once everything had settled I returned the favor by traveling back to Sentinel where it all started to help him assassinate his father.
I won’t lie, those weeks were amazing not because I got to sit in the lap of luxury again after being cast aside into the slums nor the food which saw me grow into my skin a little more. Not because I married the man for eight weeks and experienced married life then single life. Nor the protection from the guards, the servants, the nice clothing provided. I’ve never been a woman who wants title nor nobility. Living a comfortable life has always been a dream of mine since being in the military. It was amazing because he gave me something which I had thought no one else could give me anymore. Care. He cared and expressed his admiration for me in the privacy of our quarters time and time again. Yet I pushed that away because I’m still feel for another man who destroyed me from the inside out. Now I sit here pondering if Xavier is alright and I have no idea what will become of him. Shedding tears is hard for me but I felt the moisture gather in the corner of my eyes and roll down my cheeks wondering if I’ll see him again. He seems lost and I can't do anything because rushing in would be my death.
I have to do as Therian bids me to do. I have to sit around on my hands, inform those who don’t have things to do to proceed with what the young lord wishes. Yet I can only do that till there is no one lift. Then what do I do? Most certainly letting my fingers get a hold on shiny objects would occupy my time but I don’t see how that will distract me for long when my friend is out there without a mind of his own. Why do I feel so useless right now?
