There are 3 type of men:
Clark Kent,
Superman, and
Drunken Superman
Let’s break them down, shall we?
CLARK KENT
“Clark” is the guy, who most girls don’t look twice at. Yes, he may be “cute”, but he’s basically a “Mama’s boy”.
He’s the kind of guy who you can talk to about your relationship problems, and what shoes go best with your outfit. He’s your “BFF”.
And he’ll sit there and smile, and be the sweetest guy in the world. He secretly wants to be with “you”. He accepted the role of “friend” in hopes that one day, “you’ll” look at him differently.
“You” don’t look at him like that. To you, “Clark” is what females look at as “safe”.
“Clark” is a “Nice Guy”, who will basically do whatever it takes to make you happy. He’ll make sure your orange juice is “freshly squeezed”.
He’ll do anything for “you”, which to females, makes “Clark” “spineless”…. A “push-over”… a “Do Gooder” type. So to avoid any confusion, “you” make sure “Clark” knows where he stands. He get’s dubbed The Brother you NEVER had.” … OUCH!
SUPERMAN
Hold on ladies, the DROOL factor has arrived!
“Superman” is that good looking guy. I’m talking Zac Efron – esq. He is worth fighting for. Less “Over-bearing” than “Clark”… “Superman” boasts confidence when he walks into a room. Eyes are ALWAYS on him. He is well spoken, and extremely kind hearted.
Do NOT take his kindness for weakness. “Superman” is not trifled with. He takes sh*t from no one! He will put you in your place, but do so in a respectful manner.
It’s hard for anyone to “hate” “Superman”, because he is basically “flawless”.
His ranking for females would be “THE ONE”. “Superman” is marriage material; “your” parents will LOVE him. Stamp of approval on every level. Because, truthfully, “you” can’t get any better than “Superman”.
DRUNKEN SUPERMAN
“Drunken Superman” is an ASSHOLE, flat out.
He’s the kind of guy who “you’ll” have a date with, and he’ll be 3 hours late. And his idea of a “date” is going to the drive-in movie and having sex in the back of his pick-up truck.
Don’t expect a phone call the next day, because “you” won’t get one. He’s already moved on and is “bangin’” “your” friend.
“Drunken Superman” most likely reeks of “B.O.” and whiskey. He feels the need to rock that 5 o’clock shadow, because he’s too lazy to shave.
“Your” parents hate him, and don’t even know why “you” bother seeing him, because he’s stood “you” up at least 7 times.
He’s the type who will knock “you” up and leave “you” alone, and forget about child support, because “Drunken Superman” doesn’t have a job.
Do I even need to give him a ranking? “Drunken” Superman” is the bottom of the barrel, just absolutely SHITTY.
REALITY
“Clark” – He is actually the one “you’re” supposed to be with. He will love “you” unconditionally. He’s the type to serve “you” breakfast in bed and massage “your” feet, after a long day of work.
“Superman” – He’s too busy for “you”. He has a lot on his plate, and “you’ll” basically sit at home alone, pining over him. He tries to please “you” when he can, but his busy schedule won’t allow “you” to spend “Quality Time” that “you” want with him.
“Drunken Superman” – Surprisingly, this one, is the one that most females go for. The reason is…. He’s found to be more of a challenge. “I can change him.” _ most females believe that there is something under that rugged exterior. In this world, the “bad boy” is the preference, because he isn’t “timid” and “shy” like “Clark”.
