I expect a movie whose only thing that it has going for it is a discussion of S&M in a mainstream arena to be not so goddamn judgmental. And yet, during the film's centerpiece sex scene, as Ana is being tied up and spanked, we hear Beyoncé moaning, "Got me lookin' so crazy right now / Your love got me lookin' so crazy right now" in a slowed-down version of "Crazy in Love" recorded specifically for this movie. Crazy! You crazy for that one, bondage enthusiasts! At another point, Ana asks Christian why he's into S&M and he says, "It's the way I am." Yeah, right, cool, I thought. And then, because she's a nag and they really have nothing else to talk about anyway, she asks again, and he says, "Because it's the way I am…because I am 50 shades of fucked up!"
That's a terrible piece of writing and an even worse disservice to its audience. Fifty Shades of Grey offers titillation and then judgment. It asks, "Curious?" and then resolves that one must be fucked up to really be into the sort of thing it's selling. It's insulting to those seeking a vicarious thrill through this movie, a way of exploring these desires that many people don't feel comfortable verbalizing or getting to the point of actual experiencing.
I love that something exists to push conversation about kink and alternate ways of having sex into mainstream discourse. I hate that it's something as stupid, dull, and toxic as Fifty Shades of Grey. Stupid, dull, and toxic is not a very surprising combination in blockbuster filmmaking today, and yet this one was particularly infuriating.
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