so, I’m laying here & this thought occurred to me
I can’t remember the last time I could stomach wasting time on some crummy netflix series. but most days it’s all I can look forward to besides the little sleep I have been able to get
your name seems to pop up a lot lately, or maybe I’m just looking for it subconsciously..I’m sure other people even notice me hold my breath every time I hear it. I’m ashamed of my love for you. that’s the first time I’ve ever allowed that thought to come out so honestly
I don’t regret anything, but I’m so paralyzed that I couldn’t (can’t) accept how much it hurt me the way it all played out
I’ve given myself a grace period. I try skating through my days on the surface because I’m afraid of what lies beneath. what if it tears me apart? I don’t want to rebuild, I don’t want to start over
it always feels like I’m constantly in transition between pulling apart & coming together, but it’s so difficult for me. I don’t think I’ve ever truly learned how to navigate this pain, it’s reoccurring & each time I feel it I hear this childish scream from inside “why!” “what could I have possibly done to deserve this!!”
it takes more than I probably even understand to hold it all together day to day. some days I want the whole world to see my ugly, my pain..others I can’t even imagine what they might think seeing as I haven’t even been able to face it myself
baratheonpilled
germansingergirl
kianamaiart
theartofmadeline
dailybridgerton
tangentwithtanner
titsay
romaincrisis
gummygunk
