Single dad Bruce Wayne surrounded by his precious babies, who are all worried because last Parent-Teacher Conference, he was the only daddy without another daddy or a mommy with him!!
Bruce is trying to calm his wailing children, "Oh loves, being a single parent is fine! Unconventional but fine! I'm happy and I love you all enough for two!"
But they're not having this!! That's not fair!! Their dad is so nice and pretty, he deserves to have MANY mommies and daddies with him!! No, he should have ONE REALLY GOOD, REALLY BEST MOMMY OR DADDY WITH HIM!!
So they ask Bruce what kind of other daddy ("A husband!" Jason corrected) or a mommy ("That's called a wife!" Dick said) he would like to have
And Bruce, realizing that fighting his kids is something he simply doesn't want to do, so he tries to placate them
"Well.... I always liked someone who is good with numbers. A-And someone who's good at taking charge. I love it when someone has good hair and a biting sense of humor, and is family-oriented 😊"
Bruce thought dignifying his children with a response would be the last time he even has to think about the wifeless/husbandless existence he's living
Then a week later, Bruce has to watch his kids come home to his porch holding one very confused looking Hal Jordan
"Dad, look! We got you a husband!" Jason cheered, pushing Hal to Bruce.
"I checked his bank statements and his police record! He's a-okay, Daddy!" Tim added on with the sweetest smile a 7 year old can have.
"And he smells nice, like hot chocolate brownies, my favorite," Cass said, currently in Hal's arms and nuzzling her face on his neck, "He has really soft hair too."
"And I checked his social media on the way here! He's single! The kids on his accounts are his brothers' kids!" Duke said, holding Hal's hand, "Isn't that right, Mr. New Dad?"
Hal chuckles nervously, "I swear, they said they were lost in the city, Mr. Wayne.
Bruce looked at his eldest in horror.
"It was that or we went to England to find what a 'distinguished gentleman' was supposed to be, or whatever it is that Alfred wanted for you," Dick shrugged, not looking up from his phone showing the map home, meaning they were very much not lost.
Before Bruce can find his bearings, they start to usher Hal into the house
"Okay new dad, you can sleep in our daddy's room!"
Hal, who is too nice and a bit of a sucker for cute kids, follows happily.
It takes Bruce 10 seconds to process that there is a stranger in his home
After all children were put into their respective time out corners, Bruce is finally ready to face the poor soul his children abducted.
"Okay, finally. Mr. Jordan, I'd like to apologize for—"
Currently there's a 6"4 muscular man on his floor playing with toddler Damian and letting him touch his face. Hal is blowing raspberries into the baby's palms and answering his babbles with full sentences.
"Oh, Mr. Wayne! Are the kids all packed away?" Hal asked, hands still stuffed in animal puppets that Damian is giggling at.
The kids did say Hal was single.
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