uh hi?
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@no1maggot13
uh hi?
Word. How are you all?
Fuck existence it's all just one big clusterfuck of upset.
I don't use Tumblr anymore, I don't know who I am reaching out to, I feel lonely, I am depressed and constantly anxious. I have no real grasp on reality because it all feels like a fucking dream. There is nothing holding my world together, the thought of going to work tomorrow is too much to bare. I am 30 in October , life doesn't get easier I thought it was starting to make sense but it just got more complex. I have so much love to give and I am so bad at giving it. 2 and a half years of telling yourself you will just fail at another relationship, you aren't ready, then finally I think I can do this , I give someone my everything and get left a husk of my former self, more pathetic than before and more alone than before. I accept my fate, I accept unhappiness, I accept this feeling of disappointment in myself. Maybe I don't deserve anything better. Thanks for listening Tumblr, you used to be cool.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Haven’t posted here in a while.
“it’s the most beautiful thing I ever saw”
Some duo games with *Spicy Jeff*
Twitch me.
https://www.twitch.tv/no1maggot
Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2016)
SAY GOODBYE
©Matthew Custar
What have I been doing? I hear you ask.
I don’t really come on here much anymore. I don’t even know if anyone who follows me even would read a post by me fuck knows if they care. I just wanted to say hi and let you know how I am doing these days.
I am working a pretty shitty job, broke my leg and ankle about 15 months ago, that fucking sucked. It fucked with my job opportunity and I also lost my job at the time because of it. I live at home with my parents who do a lot for me, but they also cause me a lot of shit that fucks with my head.
I haven’t done much in forever, I am stuck in the routine that is my life with no real reward. I work and see friends, I enjoy seeing friends and love spending time with them. It’s just that we all do the same thing on repeat, it somehow creates an emptiness that I can cope with. Maybe like a comfy seat that overhangs a cliff edge. Now I am reading this back I think of it as being like a sad post, but I am feeling alright at the moment. Had a good day and I even worked for 8 hours of them. I met a nice girl who I can talk to recently, that has been really nice too.
Anyway I don’t really know what the purpose of this is anymore. I just feel like it kinda says a bit about me and maybe brings anyone up to speed about the fact I am actually still alive.