As she listens to him speak, it’s almost as though it’s all drowned out by the inability to comprehend what he’s telling her. Noah has feelings for her? It’s impossible. If you’d told her that an hour ago, she’d have said the same thing that she’d thought about him her entire life: he’s too picky to love anyone. She had always hated herself for staying so closely invested in his relationships. The hours of stalking his social media, the “accidental” Snapchat that she usually send after he’d broken up with a girl, the brushes against him in the halls of school, the tiny little flirtatious signs that she would give him, just to keep him guessing. She never thought that any of that would make him actually like her. In fact, if didn’t even sound believable.
And then he says it. That one word that makes everything so real, and Odyssia becomes sure that he’s fucking with her. She had never heard him say anything remotely close to that word before, not even for a project. She remembered one particular fling where it had ended shortly after the girl had said that word. She was convinced Noah didn’t even believe in that word, so for him to say it now seemed to far fetched to her. She’s cold, and angry, and distraught all at once. She’d thought that maybe after his act of kindness in the Capture the Flag games would signal a turning point in their friendship, relationship, whatever you could call it. He’s putting an arm around her, draping the hoodie over her shoulders, and she wants nothing more than to cuddle into him, but she can’t trust it.
“I want to know how you could say that to me, not meaning it, if you’ve known that I had feelings for you.” She hates admitting it out loud. It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth that he had to find out before she was ready, but the fact that he’s drunk means that he hopefully won’t remember it in the morning. “I’m rejecting you because I know what you’re like, and I know that this is some ploy to hurt me, fuck knows why, but I know the signs, Noah. I wasn’t born yesterday.” She spits out, perhaps more aggressively than she’d meant it, but her emotions were raw, unfiltered. This was Odyssia Simmons, as real as she can get. “Who put you up to it? Who did you conspire with? And more importantly, who fucking told you?” Her breathing is becoming increasingly more ragged, and it sounds like she’s becoming more panicked with each word that she says.
It becomes too much for her. Collapsing in tears, any words she attempts to share become a blubbering wail, with her head going back between her legs, where she can’t see him, and where she can try and regulate her breathing more. She doesn’t want to acknowledge, but she can feel herself getting colder, and the warm hoodie is a nice addition. Cursing herself in her head, she grabs onto either side of it, pulling it around her like a blanket, gripping onto it with as much strength as she can find remaining in her at this moment. “Noah, I thought I could trust you.” She eventually manages to get out between sobs. The words are quiet, and they seem unattached from her current state, like she’s floated out of her body to speak them. “Why?”
He looks at her, not sure what to answer. His expression is somewhere between disbelieve, anger and surprise. He knew he had quite the reputation, but was it really that hard to believe he couldn’t mean what he’d just said. Sure, maybe it was a bit sudden and much. If he had been sober he’d gone for something a bit more low key. Then again, if he’d been sober they wouldn’t be having this conversation at all.
“I did mean it. I don’t know how to make you believe that, so you’re going to have to trust me.” he finally says, frustration showing in the way he gestures and the way he speaks. Only then his mind catches on to the last part of her sentence. “Wait. You have.. feelings for me? You like me?” he asks her, even more surprised. “No. No no no.” he mutters, his world has just done a 180, and he thinks he’s going to get a whiplash.
At her next words, his disbelieve only grows. “Odyssia. I’m not some evil mastermind.” he protests, kind of offended. “I.. why would I want to hurt you. Of all people.” he’s talking faster and faster, slurring his words even more. It feels like pieces are falling into place. The way they’ve been interacting up until now seems to become clearer, things he never understood are suddenly logical.
“No one put me up to anything. No one told me anything. I didn’t know. Like I would hurt you for something as stupid as a dare. No, never. I have morals, though yes sometimes they’re clouded. But I’d never hurt you.” he keeps ranting. The mere thought of fucking around with Odyssia for the fun of it.. he can’t comprehend it.
Though his angry and frustrated tone must have been too harsh, because suddenly Odyssia lets out a heartbreaking wail, and she seems to practically collapse. He can’t bear to simply watch. He’s been trying to keep his distance for so long, thinking that she wouldn’t want to even interact with him. But now that they’ve both put it all out there.. He wraps his arms around her, one behind her back and one around her knees. Leaning his head on her shoulder, he sighs. By now her scent is so familiar to him, it’s almost like home. “I’m sorry, okay.” he whispers. “I know I’m... I have this fuckboy image or whatever. But I promise I’m not plotting to break your heart or anything remotely like that. He closes his eyes, shaking his head a little at her words. He can’t believe he fucked up this badly and he wasn’t even aware. “I don’t know how I can.. fix this. Please tell me how.. I can prove you can trust me?”
