noah!! ⭐️

he/she/they

[noahtopia]

Person who doesn't understand swimming terminology: yeah I like to stroke my breast while wet. It's actually considered a sport

[noahtopia]

I'm something of a hustler myself. I even like to bustle, on occasion

[noahtopia]

Not my circus, not my monkeys, just me and my weird coworker

[noahtopia]

If you ain't crocin', you ain't rockin'. If you ain't flippin', you ain't floppin'. If you ain't velcin', you ain't crowin'.

[noahtopia]

Yeah ive just had sex. Not as in I partook in the act of sex, but as in ive outsmarted it via a trick and now it looks stupid. The sex has been had.

[noahtopia]

In the club. Straight up "beatin it". And by "it", haha, well. Let's justr say. My drum like dum di dee day

[noahtopia]

Cooking show host: Hello everybody my name is John Flavour and today we will be making Food. Today's food is Stew

Newborn baby: stew... ee...

Cooking show host: say that again...

(This was how the name stewie was invented)

[noahtopia]

She picky on my bits till I M&S foods

[noahtopia]

She took my nothing in the nothing #happilymarried

[noahtopia]

shut up white boy, the ocean is calling me

[noahtopia]

Me, the second anything bad happens: this could've been an email

[noahtopia]

Knuckle tats that say "E A R L G R E Y"

[noahtopia]

Without the p a pirate is just irate...

Eat your vegetables

[noahtopia]

Haha well, you know what they say! *I walk away. You will never know what they said*

[noahtopia]

I go on the F/F category on ao3. I exclude the #angst tag. I watch as all the fics disappear before my very eyes.

[noahtopia]

Ever since I was a little girl, I've always dreamed of being someone's grandpa

[noahtopia]

Haaaate all-knowing bitches. Like yeah we get it, you see past and future alike and you know all that is and was and will be. We get it bro. Stop gatekeeping