“Your chasing a dream, Zane…all you’ll feel is disappointment if you keep blindly down this path. Are you ready to become nothing more but a weapon? A pawn to be tossed into the enemy’s face under the pretence of settling debts? Can you say with confidence that you’ll protect those under your care? You havent fucking thought on the details at all. You don’t get how this city works or the power struggles…or anything cause all you want is the old fucking gang back and you can’t accept that isn’t going to happen”.
A deep breath was taken. His heart raced and a part of him knew that was due to the care that he did have for the other male. “I write a bit and Elise went ahead and made sure you got it…you were never supposed to see it. I’m aware of how much you hate me”. And yet there had been that sudden kiss. What had that been about? He should just go. He’d taken up enough of his time.
He wasn't liking any of what Chuuya was saying. Though he knew that he had a point and he hated it. It had been seven years and he was already finding out that people had moved on. Though he couldn't let this go. He couldn't just stop, he had no where else he belonged. Chuuya didn't understand that and like hell would he ever admit to such a thing either. Shirase would be at his side, his little brother believed in him and this cause. Yes, Shi didn't know what he had to do just to get Sheep back up and going "Shut the fuck up!" He snarled at the other despite the fact that smoke filled his lungs. Smoking was supposed to be helping him, but no it wasn't.
This wasn't a delusion, this could be real again--- Sheep wasn't just something in the past. Sheep could be remade, it wasn't just the memories he wanted. Sheep in general was what he wanted. It didn't matter if all the old members came back, he knew that some would have moved on. He knew it deep down before he even began to figure out how to do this movement. He wasn't just walking in blind here. "I'm no one's bitch and no one's weapon. Ya don't know fuck about me, stop trying to pretend like ya do" he hit the wall with his fist and he could feel the blood as it began to drip down his arm. He didn't care.
He exhaled the smoke. "This isn't just some dream, some blind path that I just randomly woke up one day and decided I wanted ta do. Fuck ya. Fuck ya, Chuuya! I will protect all of em. Even if some of da others don't wish ta come back, if they moved on--- Sheep isn't about da memories. Sheep means something ta me. So fuck ya." His temper was exploding for sure. He took a long drag from his cigarette as sea green eyes looked over the other.
He didn't care who this Elise was. So Chuuya wrote it and never wished for him to see it. Meaning that the words were actually written from the heart. Fuck why did any of this matter. His heart was pounding against his chest and he was hoping the cigarette would help. He had also kissed the other, actually kissed him. It hadn't been terrible. What the fuck! Why couldn't he keep hating him? Why did this have to happen to him. Though he could use... no he quickly pushed that thought away.
"Yes I fuckin hate ya guts. For all ya did to Sheep, to Shi... of course imma hate ya fuckin guts" He growled and stepped forward cigarette perched between his lips. "Why da fuck ya 'ave to show up again. Pretendin like ya know shit bout me, bout wat I been through." He had pushed the other into the wall hard. Bleeding fist about to punch him, but he didn't. "Ya don't fuckin know shit." He blew smoke into the ginger's face. He needed to nip this shit in the bud and get this over with. "Ya have some death wish don't ya, huh" his lips were close to Chuuya's.
The cigarette falling from his lips and to the ground , burning out the moment it hit. Again his lips crashed roughly against Chuuya's. "I hate ya so fuckin much" he crashed his lips again to his. He could feel the heat building in his cheeks. He didn't know what was even going on anymore, this time he didn't pull away.