*2 chainz voice* truuuuu

[twitterlols]

[forame]

[sacred-portal]

[whatafuckinfamilypicture]

[blackswan2010-deactivated201509]

[twitblr]

[gravetheft]

An actual text I was sent

[nick-avallone]

i adore my mom beyond words but i have to mom-shame her for always doing this to me 

[nick-avallone]

so i showed my mom the post hahaha 

[galaxy-lives]

this is the most wholesome and entertaining mom post on tumblr

[1-800-garbage]

I often imagine myself topless in a tiny apartment with my hair up with someone I love

[rune-midgarts]

[bigthecat]

we made it

[podencos]

I’m in the mood for all evil energy to stay away from me now and forever

[pastadogs]

why is “go to your room” a punishment?? like yes thank you i’d love to go to my room. i’d love to be Alone

[motiya]

*looking at the moon* what highlighter does she use?

[pantone-black]

[shitpostempire]

[weight-a-second]

concept: me, a housewife, putting two lean cuisines in the microwave. i drink an entire bottle of chardonnay during the four minutes the chicken fettuccine takes to heat up. my husband walks through the door just as i place the entrée on the table. he thanks me for slaving away all day over a hot stove. i have succeed in passing the lean cuisine off as my own creation. when he’s done, i tell him im in love with our maid, helen–who bears a striking resemblance to margot robbie–and that i will see him in court. im blind drunk and jump into a 1960s pink convertible that helen is driving. we laugh about the lean cuisines.

[albertothechihuahua]

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!