Scenes from a gay restaurant

Things my friends and I have said during lunch.

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"I will hit you rock"

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“Chipmunks are real, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

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I’m gonna buy so much feta cheese that they’re gonna have to card me for it

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“You’re gonna get blasted back from the force of my chemical cock!”

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“You wouldn’t want a fabric condom.”

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“I don’t think I want dick fingers.”

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"What catering do you think an orgy should have?"

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"Jesus is my dental dam."

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"There's no such thing as metaphors only hardcore sex."

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"Everything is about sex except for sex, which is about apples."

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“Oops that’s the colon.”

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"Goats aren't real and they certainly don't are milkable."

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"I'm so normal that I'm the main character of regular show."

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"I'm so spongycore and spingypilled."

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“Is that Throh or Sawk?”

“…it’s Joe Biden.”

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“Yeah, he’s a straight sodomite.”