Jules of Nature
Cosmic Funnies
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$LAYYYTER
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noise dept.
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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YOU ARE THE REASON
AnasAbdin
Peter Solarz
Product Placement
trying on a metaphor
Show & Tell
hello vonnie
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@noemioriol
&&. announcing her royal highness, NOEMÍ INTISUMAQ ORIOL Y VILLCA, the THIRTY-ONE year old CROWN PRINCESS of ARGENTINA. she is often confused with NATHALIE KELLEY. some say that she is GUILEFUL and CRITICAL, but she is actually PERSPICACIOUS and SOPHISTICATED. noemí is arranged to marry NATASJA.
𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘. / 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒. / 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.
asvli:
her head rolls to the side, the beginnings of a remark forgotten as she lays back. “ whatever makes you happy. where is this ‘ child ’ anyways ? ” she was half-expecting to come in with her ears melting off. “ it’s exhausting, i need some remission or something. ”
“Terrorizing her tutors.” She had flown over a small plane’s worth. Homeschooling didn’t suit her. “It could be worse,” she allowed, raising her glass lazily in Asali’s direction. “We could be Europeans.”
wcndv:
𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐄 𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃 up from the laptop, merciless key strokes creating a story she’d immersed herself in had been replaced by not even so much as a flick of her wrist. a 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃. one that the person she’d addressed shook their head at the sight of and promptly questioned wendy on noemí’s behalf. “ i haven’t moved, ” wendy clarified only to do just that as she reached to grab her bag that had been placed by the chair leg on her left. “ and neither has my … ” her forehead creased and hand began to move frantically, feeling around for the familiar leather object before she finally stole a glance under the table. “ th-there was a bag here. ” the alarm in her voice was unmistakable. because it wasn’t just a bag, inside she had notes, article ideas, her entire career in a notebook. “ have you seen a bag ? brown, leather, ” she chewed on the bottom of her lip as the details of the coveted item failed to come to mind.
Noemí picked up the card, sliding it to the woman, whose panic was becoming apparent. “Brown leather? Not unattended, I haven’t.” She shrugged. “What shape is it? Brand?” Looking around the room, she turned back. “If it’s a common design, maybe someone else picked it up by accident.”
nctasja:
“well, you know best, then, i’m sure you won’t lead me astray,” natasja replies, offering a smaller smile this time. she really shouldn’t spend an entire evening out, but it’s not like she sleeps regularly - she can finish the paperwork when they get back. “that works for me, i don’t know what any of those places are, but… you’ll show me.”
“They’re some of my favorite places in Tokyo. You’ll like them too, I hope.” She had faith in her own taste. “We have a lot to discuss. A change of scenery as we start can offset all the time we’re bound to spend in each other’s offices.”
diannayi:
“me and haera had a front seat view of all the people coming back into the hotel, i was so disappointed that korea’s military training meant san had a better chance of getting out unscathed.” she frowned, remembering just how disapproving gahye’s daze turned when she lamented on the seemingly healthy state of their brother. “ugh no! i had to fire one of my spies because it was so disappointing being out of the loop like that. but i did got a confirmation that the ‘mistress’ is some actress, he bought her commercials and everything.”
“An actress? How passé.” Men were so predictable. And boring. “At least the cult is a little bit novel. Your parents must be apoplectic.” Entertainment enough for Dianna, no doubt. “I wonder if they knew,” she mused. “Would it be more embarrassing if they did or if their spies are worse than yours?”
scnhaera:
“ but i don’t want a job… ” she whines, her feet kicking off from the ground. “ that’s literally the only reason why i didn’t fully object my marriage to younghoon! because i know i wouldn’t have to work a day in my life! ” she pretends to gag at each job suggestion. “ boring, embarrassing and even more embarrassing — that’s literally worse than being desperate. i would only ever sell an NFT to piss dahye off. make an NFT of her ugliest photo or something. ” she cringes at the mention of vogue. “ i’d rather sell NFTs than work for vogue. i only intend to be on their covers, not work for the magazine. or you can just take me in! ”
“And poach you from Dianna? Maybe.” The thought of Haera reliant on charity was an amusing one, at least. “My esteemed stepmother has been a bit much since she got knocked up. I’ve been thinking of having her replaced.” A serious thought, but she snickered at the absurdity of the idea of Haera being the one to do it. “...And no one expects anything of fifth wives, anyway. Hm. If only it wouldn’t end in a bloodbath.”
scnhaera:
“ oh, as if — people would be more inclined to believe i’m a cultist over him. he’s already a billionaire, i am only a billionaire by association. ” she shrugs, staring off dramatically. “ am i never not considering biting the bullet? ugh, that means i’d have to be self-sufficient. i honestly don’t know if i’m cut out for that. i like my lifestyle and quality of life too much. imagine if i have to start shopping at outlet malls. the last thing i want to be is relatable. ”
“Oh, surely you could get one of those no-show jobs they’ll throw at anyone titled with vaguely symmetrical features and a modicum of name recognition.” Noemí considered the possibilities. “You know, creative consultant, brand ambassador...NFT saleswoman.” She gave her a lopsided grin at the last addition. “There are plenty of Vogues without an editor-at-large, no? Just the ticket to find a more cooperative billionaire. And,” she continued. “If all else fails, you can shill teeth whiteners and laxative teas on Instagram.”
& @noemioriol .
her entrance is announced via a long-drawn sigh and an exaggerated flourish of limbs collapsing into the seat beside noemí. “ why does being here feel like we’re back at boarding school, but instead of awkward pubescent phases and first period statistics, we have receding hairlines and children. ”
“I have a child,” Noemí corrects with a smirk. “You...” she allows herself to trail off, waving a hand as if to tell Asali to fill in the rest. “And to answer the question, it’s because we’re surrounded by an oversexed, underhanded hoard who think they’re playing chess but are actually failing at tic-tac-toe.”
“Excuse me,” Noemí addressed the person several paces ahead of her, inclining her head towards what looked to be a credit card on the ground between them. “Is that yours?”
𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 for @hshqstarters
diannayi:
“the trick is to make sure she compliments the right sort of people.” as opposed to the wrong ones; the younger dutch princess, son areum, etc. dianna took a glance at her watch, for once making use of the accessory and not merely having it as an ornament. “we just got here, noe. everyone is pretty much broken after that tiny little shake back in mar del plata.” she waved a hand around, thoroughly annoyed by the whole ordeal. “but now we’re here in a country that’s well known for suffering from many earthquakes… someone should get fired for planning this.” dianna started to beckon imperiously at her friend. “well get your things! i’ve called the car.”
“Broken people do the stupidest things. Not that this lot has much trouble with that on a regular basis,” she remarked. “I’m half-surprised no one took the opportunity to discard their enemies. So many people unaccounted for in the forest and plenty of high places to push them off.” The art of intrigue was waning alongside the art of diplomacy. “Speaking of gossip, did you know the stories about the prime minister before they broke?”
cmiray:
Miray looked up over her shoulder at the voice, gave a awkward smile and tried to move closer to the door pulling her bag along with her. She wants to immediately dig a pit to bury herself in when the woman speaks once more. She wasn’t asking to get through. “Oh. I- no. I’m really sorry.” She looks down at her key once more and the door number. They still match. “I must- be in the wrong building?” it comes out as a question and she colors at how awful this is going.
Noemí waved off the apology. “Let’s see your key card, maybe I can help you find your building.” Or no one had bothered to tell her. The girl hardly looked like staff, but she couldn’t place her, either. She extended a hand. “I’m Noemí.”
scnhaera:
“ excuse me! she is so fussy! she refuses to sleep unless if it’s beside me. i, however, can sleep alone. ” as if that’s something to brag about… “ he had business to take care of, the government is literally going insane and i don’t know what role he plays in that, but i literally don’t care. he’s coming back every weekend to see jinny, but that’s about it. is this what divorced parents feel like with the whole custody thing? this will be good practice for it. ”
“If only he was a cultist, it would be that much easier for you to get rid of him.” she mused, deadpan. Hardly likely: Younghoon was such a relentlessly stolid, respectable man that any scandal he became entangled in was likely to be because of Haera herself. “What, you’re considering biting the bullet?”
nctasja:
“sure, i’ve never been, either,” natasja states, looking at noemi with a smile. nevermind the fact that she’d only been to two conferences in tokyo, and hadn’t seen any of the city outside them. nevermind the fact that she wasn’t usually that into museums. if it would make noemi comfortable, she’d go, because she needed to get her priorities straight, “ah, haven’t been to tokyo in half a decade at least. and i don’t think i saw anything, then. why were you here? i usuall only go to conferences.”
“The last time was a state dinner, although I attend conferences here often enough,” Noemí replied. She respected that Natasja was someone as dedicated to her work — if not more — than herself. “And this is one of my favorite cities.” She smiled. “What would you think of making a night of it? We can go to the museum, and then dinner at Florilège and drinks at Bar Benfiddich.”
“Ecdanını sikiyim… Haydi…“ she mumbled as the key she had just been given refused to work on the door with the correct number. It had already been hard enough to find her way to the correct elevator. It was like they had purposefully made them to be confusing. She wasn’t sure how making elevators that didn’t go from the ground floor to the very top one helped anyone. The fact that there were multiple buildings to navigate through was making it worst. “Eşşoğlueşşek” @hshqstarters
“Pardon me,” the girl struggling to open her apartment’s door didn’t look like cleaning staff, nor did she seem to be trying something nefarious. “Do you need help? This isn’t your door — unless you were looking for me.”
What did you just call me? Cunt? Like the philospher?
diannayi:
“well i’m sorry, noe, but the world does not revolve around you!” a small grin accompanied her careless words, as if what she actually meant was that the whole world should revolve around her. instead, she fixed her eyes on the little princess. “yes, it is interesting.” dianna waved her wide chiffon sleeves in an exaggerated swoop, letting the fabric swish around her in what she thought was a fetching sort of way. “the kid has good taste.” she didn’t make it a custom to praise children, but believed that good habits must be taught from a very young age. “yes ishikawa, my assistant called ahead to confirm that they have the crab starters today so we’re all set.” with another glance at cala, dianna hastily added: “they don’t allow kids under twelve, by the way.”
“The jury’s still out, I hear,” she retorted, glancing over at her daughter when Dianna did. The child failed to look up, focusing intently on whatever she was scribbling, having lost interest in the conversation already. “We’re working on it. The last person to get that compliment was a giant parrot, so you’re an improvement.” Noemí was beginning to fear she would develop Stockholm Syndrome from Plaza Sésamo. She snorted. “Oh, it’s well past someone’s bedtime.” And after the amount of time she had just spent tending to the jet-lagged child, she deserved the time off. “Has anything interesting happened here, yet?”
“ of course it’s only fitting the argentinian princess arrives in perfect condition while the rest of the royals sustain injuries, ” she teases before going in for a hug. — ( @noemioriol )
“Even the fault lines respect me,” Noemí joked in return, embracing the Greek. “And how are you?” She wondered how long it would be until until the program’s apparent ineptness in ensuring its members’ safety outweighed its diplomatic benefits.
