[noflow3rsplease]

When your current husband doesn’t like it when you say he’s the best husband you’ve ever had.

[noflow3rsplease]

*Johnny cash plays in the distillery she picked out*

Me: who sings this?

A: it’s on the tip of my tongue

Me: Johnny cash 🙄

A: I knew it had to do with money

[04k96]

[noflow3rsplease]

“I don’t think we would’ve gotten married if we had friends”

[noflow3rsplease]

A: Yeah one of my lungs is pretty full with the infection. So it’s making it hard to breathe.

Grandma: Did it collapse?!?!?

And the world wonders why I’m such a pessimist.

[spinalfluiddarling]

it is what it is. and I don't know what it is

[anxietyproblem]

[noflow3rsplease]

I have recovered from a lot of things in my life, but I don’t think I will ever recover from this.

[bnmxfld]

[weltenwellen]

Louise Glück, from “Blue Rotunda”, Averno

[antimasculist]

never wear a bra if you can help it do not let them win

[ivorywork]

[noflow3rsplease]

Being away from your husband for a few days and then coming home is really top tier.

[noflow3rsplease]

PSA: Dogs don’t make you cry

[thoughtcascades]

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them

[noflow3rsplease]

Someone pour me up a double shot of whiskey

They know me and Jack Daniels got a history

[madisen]

I haven’t forgotten about you