“If I peed my pants, would you pretend I just got wet from the rain?”
“I just sort of feel like I’m on drugs when I’m with you.”
“You know what really sucks? Everything.”
“I’ve dabbled in being a bitch.”
You suck at drawing, don’t you?“
"We all wear swank-ass nudie-suits.”
“What is this, phone sex?”
“If you want something bad, you have to fight for it.”
“Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together?”
“I wanna have his/her adopted babies.”
“This song is called ‘I am so Sad, I am so Very, Very Sad.’”
“I’m in lesbians with you.”
“Being a vegan just makes you better than most people.”
“I was thinking about asking you out but I realized how stupid that would be.”
“This next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It’s called ’We Hate You. Please Die.’”
“You’re totally my bitch.”
“I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past.”
“I can’t believe you’re worried about me gaying up the place.”
“I gotta pee on her/him.”
“We almost held hands once but then she/he got embarrassed.”
“Have you ever dated someone that wasn’t a total ass?”
“[NAME], if your life had a face, I would punch it.”
“I didn’t make up the gay rule book.”
“I’m too cool for you anyway.”
“You punched me in the boob!”
“You made me swallow my gum.”
“Pirates are in this year.”
“I have to go pee due to boredom.”
“I hate that bitch so much I kind of love her/him.”
“I don’t think I can hit a girl/boy.”
“We’re/I’m here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.”
“You’re under arrest for veganity violation.”
“It’s probably just because he’s/she’s better than you.”
“Sounds like someone wants to get funky.”
“I thought you didn’t drink.”
“Hey, so can this not be a one night stand? For one thing, I didn’t even get any.”
“Double negative.. tricky.”
“I’m tired of people getting hurt because of me.”
“I dislike you, capisce?”
“Got any embarrassing stories?”
“Don’t you talk to me about grammar!”
“Next time, we don’t date the girl/boy with eleven evil ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.”
“How are you doing that with your mouth?”
“Don’t use the 'e’ word in this house.”
“[NAME], you know I love you. But I need my own bed tonight. It’s for sex.”
“I just spilled hot cocoa on my crotch!”
“I’ll tell you what you are: a pain in my ass.”
“You may have just seen a dude’s junk.”
“Are you coming to my party Friday or are you busy babysitting?”
“Garlic bread is my favorite food. I could honestly eat it for every meal.”
“I feel like we/I just washed our/my sexy laundry in public.”
“You met on the bus with her/his mom?”
“Well, obviously one of us went to professor Xavier’s school for gifted youngsters and one of us didn’t.”
“Obviously, one of us is a total nerd.”
“He/she is as hot as the flames of hell you bitches are going to.”
“You’re much too dopey to be a lady-killer.”
“Let’s be friends based on mutual hate.”
“I have dipping sauce for you! I’ll be your dipping sauce bitch!”
“If you need me, I’ll be in the bathroom crying.”
“You know you’re gonna have to fight him/her eventually… or sleep with him/her.”
“I posted a drunken rant on Craigslist.”
jbbartram-illu
jacobvanloon
annaxmalina
theartofmadeline
turnnoffyourmind
discoholicmusic
