I have something to share. I debated making a throwaway or just sending it to one of 4dbarbie's backups but I settled on this because I just was too impatient to share
---Backstory: I've been patiently applying all that I've learned from 4dbarbie's asks and letting go of chunks of the ego mind---
Today, while at the beach with my group of friends, I realized that I was still somewhat stuck. I let go of big parts of what "I" thought I knew, but I still felt like I was missing something to have my realization. If you ask why I was thinking about that at the beach, there has been nothing on my mind aside from realizing my self since I discovered it. Nothing interested me more than this.
---Disclaimer because I'm sure I was only able to do this because of how free my mind was and what is now cannot be compared to the way my brain worked months ago---
So you can have a mental picture, we were all on the beach, some of us, mostly the girls, were sat on our towels. Conversation was going on around me and I was nodding but my mind was elsewhere. I was thinking what could I do to prove it to myself not only that I understood but that I can apply it.
So while on the beach, I was thinking... what seemingly impossible thing could I do to prove I can do it. Gee, an appearance change in the moment, that's pretty "hard", isn't it? So I decided on that. I didn't want to be something small like change my hair color, but completely change my face so that I can show I can. If I couldn't, so be it, I would continue disbelieving I was this character until I felt even freer. But I still wanted to try.
Because I am not fully realized so I still had some resistance, I thought- what would my ego have the least resistance me looking like? I was looking around the people at the beach trying to pick someone I had no desire to look like, but also no fear of being that person.
---- Backstory again: my original body had bleached blonde hair, tan skin and green eyes-----
So I picked a brunette, pale and with brown eyes. I thought in my head for what a cute brunette would look like, then I leaned back on my towel, closed my eyes and imagined being IT for a few seconds. Again, I didn't care if I succeeded, I just did it.
I didn't sit long like this, after I saw myself looking like that, I sat up again and looked at my reflection in my phone.
I looked exactly like I saw in my head.
I swear to God, I was so panicked- my heart was beating wildly in my chest. I was freaking out so bad internally. I could believe it and couldn't. You know when something shocking happens that ego just can't accept? Yeah, it was like that.
Then, I looked at my friends to see if they would notice any change. I called out to one of my guy friends (who was standing up) to pass me the water so that I could bring attention to myself. He gave it to me no problem, the girls turned to me too when I spoke up and nobody said a thing. I was scared to ask. What was I even supposed to ask? I felt like my mind was breaking.
I stood like that for minutes and nobody said a thing to me about looking different. I'll be honest I was really spooked, my heart was still racing. So I decided to go back to my "original" appearance to see if they say something then.
---The process was the same---
When I stood up this time I did it more confidently, because I didn't feel like I would be caught doing something crazy since everybody knew me as this body. I changed "back" no issue, and nobody said anything. AGAIN. This time I dared ask if I they think I changed somewhat, and they all looked like me like ? what do you mean?
My heart was beating again but in a different way. In euphoria, in joy. I still felt like my brain was completely broken but i was so happy I felt like I could fly.
My next instinct was to imagine myself with what used to be my "desired" appearance, I felt like I just gained a superpower I could lose so I had to do everything quickly, before it goes away.
There was no resistance now that I did it once, none at all. I was aware of no impossibility of changing.
We spent two more hours there and I felt more alive in my new body than ever. It was like the whole world opened to me.
On the way home, while I was in the car (one of the guys was driving) I felt like I now had the time and opportunity to imagine again. I was relaxed, and just daydreaming, but in the present. Just imagining myself with everything I wanted with no expectation.
...and they all came extremely quickly. They didn't spawn but some I got in the most bizarre of ways, Ways in which my ego could have never thought of receiving them. And everything I imagined happened until the end of the day. It's night now when I'm writing this and I'm getting ready to sleep, thinking of things to "wake up to".
Now I know a lot of people aren't going to believe me, but that is really not my problem. I am still processing it myself to be honest. I don't even know how to go forward with all this "power".
Anyway, you truly imagine everything and everything is in your mind. Including other people. No one exists without you, including the body.
I already have an idea for what to do tomorrow and it's to try and be invisible.
I'm thinking of what else could be really important to say so others can also do it... the lack of doubts? Or me not thinking of it being impossible rather? Having it in the back of my head always that the only real thing is ME? Everything I learned I learned from the 4dbarbie account, I didn't read any books because I don't like reading.
Lastly, just try without expectations of it not working. Accept it could not but still do it, if it doesn't now it may in the future, all depending on your ability to let of of the reality of the body and seeing your real Self.
I think that's it, PEACE OUT :)
Finally posting this one as well... sorry I left you hanging for so long 😭😭😭
Wish you well!! Continue to have fun in the dream ♡