Kaiji is just such audhd pain because he's genuinely so intelligent, creative and unorthodox in his thinking when he has the motivation to push himself but then he's just unable to apply that same thing when it comes to work/school/life and that's just the story of everyone with audhd I fear. He's not stupid, he really isnt. And he's a little lazy but he's mainly depressed and burnt out. He feels always on the sidelines and judged because he can't perform the way society expects, can't socialise with a fake smile. He deeply craves a feeling of connection and belonging but hates inauthenticity and manipulative behavior. He feels adrift and clings onto simple things like drinking, gambling, idly passing the time, because what else do you do? He's seriously traumatised from everything but his experiences are complicated because they include both the times he felt at his lowest and the times he felt at his best. He lives in extremes, and it's slowly poisoning him from the inside out. He desperately needs help. He's too ashamed to ask for it. He's only 21 (and then 23/4) years old, and he's been let down by society so severely it takes my breath away. He's so young, and shoulders the weight of so much. He deserves so much. Kaiji Itou my neurodivergent darling I'm sorry you deserved so much better
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