🔪$TRADEouttaMERCY🖤

dark poetry | melancholic themes | galaxies in my mind & skywalkers in my eyes | born from real pain | eternal passion, eternal damage, eternal ache & a raped 💔🔪

[nonamenomercy36]

[nonamenomercy36]

[nonamenomercy36]

[nonamenomercy36]

[nonamenomercy36]

scar, scar, scar, scar, scar, scar, scar, scar, scar, scar,

love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love,

forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever, forever,

never forget, never forget, forget, never forget, forget, never forget, forget, never forget, forget, never forget !!!

[nonamenomercy36]

From the very first second, I was already somewhere else because of you.

Like I had slipped into another dimension without even realizing it.

After your first touches, I didn’t feel like I belonged to this world anymore.

It was safety — but the kind that breaks you open at the same time.

Like being held the way a child is held after crying.

Like being pulled back from being lost.

Only I wasn’t a child. I was a grown man, completely buried in myself.

I was deep in my depression.

The life I had been living for years didn’t feel like life anymore — just existing in a space that didn’t belong to me.

An empty apartment. No life, no warmth.

Just a mattress, a table, a small TV.

And shame. Constant shame for everything I was and everything I became.

And then you appeared in it.

And I don’t even know when it happened, but you pulled me out of that state without me noticing.

You made me feel loved in a way I hadn’t felt since early childhood — maybe between one and five years old, the last time I remember anything close to real love.

After that, everything became hard to explain.

I told you everything.

And you took it in — all of it — like you could carry it for me, like a sponge absorbing everything I couldn’t hold myself.

And somehow you walked through that hell with me… and still gave me warmth inside of it.

When you held me, when you touched me, when you gave me that kind of love — I wasn’t really here anymore.

I was somewhere else.

Somewhere unreal. Somewhere weightless.

Like I had left this planet entirely.

And maybe that was the problem.

Because it didn’t feel like love in this world.

It felt like escape.

[nonamenomercy36]

“Why do you rip my heart out when I’m handing it to you just like that?”

[nonamenomercy36]

NoNameNoMercy - no comment 🤫🤫🤫

“There’s a place inside me where pain doesn’t speak — it screams. And what leaves me is only its echo.”

I MISS U 4EV3R !!!!!!!

[nonamenomercy36]

Th3 first tim3….N❤️‍🔥

She and I had already been in contact for about 1.5 to 2 weeks before that. The way we texted back then was something completely new to me — unique, unreal, almost detached from anything I had ever known before. Full of passion and genuine interest, yet at the same time so communicative and humorous. It was simply everything at once, and everything within each other.

The emotions and the attraction between us are hard to put into words, because no matter what it was, no matter the situation, it always felt indescribable.

Back to that warm September day — we had arranged to meet on a Friday afternoon. She wanted to meet me in front of an Edeka to check how I would feel in person, and of course, I was doing the same. I already had to open the bottle of alcohol I had brought for us because I was so nervous that it felt almost overwhelming. I had never experienced energies and feelings like that before — and I kept asking myself what all of this meant, and where this intensity was coming from.

We hadn’t even met in person yet — so would it even be controllable once we did? So many questions, and on top of that, these emotions and the constant butterflies. So yes — I needed that alcohol. There was no other way to handle it. At that point, we had already followed each other on Instagram without even knowing it, something we only found out later when we talked about the first days of texting — and we really had been talking a lot.

I was standing slightly to the left, waiting for her. I had never been this nervous before meeting someone for the first time. I could barely handle it because it was so intense. Only the alcohol helped me to control and slightly calm the storm inside me.

There were three possible paths she could have come from — left from the street, straight ahead through a narrow passage between buildings, or right from a driveway leading to parking spaces.

Of course, she came walking straight ahead through the narrow path while we were still texting. And suddenly, it felt like something out of Inception — like another dimension was approaching me, and no matter what I had done in that moment, I could never have escaped it.

She walked toward me, and from head to toe she was exactly my type — like she had been painted just for me, my personal piece of art. She had this dirty little smile and an aura that immediately took over me and made me even more nervous, but I didn’t let it show. The mood was instantly on the same level as in our texts — just even more intense.

She wanted to check the path to her place first, to see if everything still felt right and whether she could trust me based on first impressions. And so we walked to her apartment…

She betrayed me, but I still want her forever 🥵😓

[nonamenomercy36]

I drift into an apocalyptic distance, drawn toward the sun, clinging to hope with every degree of warmth. The rays kiss my skin, and I mistake them for you… but it’s nothing more than hope.