Nonnemor

I'm the official Nonnemor, or the Zozo in your house. I'm in your walls. Don't check,,,

[7-inches-of-satanic-panic]

k but imagine Rocky wanting to learn about how humans became the apex predators of their planet so he has Grace “hunt” him in the biodome as an experiment and during it he thinks Grace isn’t trying or taking it seriously which is bad bad bad because this is for research purposes

only for Rocky to get more and more tired as the experiment goes on just to realize that Grace isn’t which makes him panic so he puts as much distance as he can between them and finds a (hopefully) safe spot to sleep and when he wakes up the human is crouching over him like “got youuu” and Rocky has never shrieked so damn loud before in his life

[stayweirdalways]

sooo this inspired me and then prev's tags did too:

so there's a mini fic under the cut I smashed out in like an hour. kinda low effort but whatever. might keep it going on ao3 with more little experiments

At some point, Grace of course realizes it's living in a zoo enclosure. Then comes a Discussion. 

"Rocky."

Rocky is totally panicking - it told the xeno team to not let Grace know! Now Grace is going to be offended or mad about being a zoo animal! There's no way to sugarcoat this! - and screeching out apologies. It won't be able to withstand Grace being mad at it, because the last time Grace was mad at Rocky Grace ignored Rocky. IGNORED. The silent treatment had grated so bad on Rocky's nerves it felt like it was going to go insane.

"ROCKY! CHILL OUT!"

Rocky slows. Grace is still kneeling from where it had settled after first saying 'we need to talk' (worst words in the universe, by the way). Rocky doesn't get any closer, just fiddles nervously with its fingers.

"Rocky, look. This isn't- I'm not mad about it. Honest! I kinda…" It rubs the back of its 'neck' with a hand. "Kinda already figured it out a while ago."

Grace laughs, flashing its 'teeth'. "I mean, we'd do the same thing on Earth if this was all reversed. I get it! I'm an alien, I knew this was a possibility."

"Along with dissection," Rocky grumbles. "And starving to death. Does not mean good thing. Does not mean Grace happy about it."

"But I am! Look, Eridians are learning from me, right?"

Rocky hums a begrudging confirmation. 

"Then I'm happy about it! You know me. Once a teacher, always a teacher. Plus, it could be worse."

That is true, all of it. Rocky sighs. "Okay. If Grace is sure Grace not mad at Rocky…"

"I'm sure, buddy. C'mere." Grace reaches forward and wraps Rocky in a 'hug'. Rocky accepts it, reciprocates, feeling the familiar noises of Grace's organs. 

"Team will ask more questions," Rocky warns. "Want to do experiments on human behavior."

"Oho, boy. I'm looking forward to that."

And Grace isn't lying, and neither is Rocky: within days of the conversation, the xeno team is approaching Grace and asking many more questions about human biology, about enrichment. They already were, of course, but something seems to have emboldened them. 

What everyone finds most ridiculous is human evolution, though.

"Sorry," Historian Lilith wheezes out. It's almost laughing too hard to keep going. "You're saying- you- humans just walk your prey to death? And you became the apex predators on your planet? How does that work?!"

Every other member of the team present is cackling, including Rocky: Grace alone stands sober, pouting in the way it does when it's offended. 

"What's so unbelievable about that?! It's a very effective way to hunt!"

Rocky snorts. "Grace lying. No way walking is efficient! Ambush is better. Example!" And Rocky lunges for Grace, relishing the squeal and the scramble backwards. Then Grace stands up taller. "Okay! I'll show you. Who wants to get hunted?"

Everyone instantly steps back, leaving Rocky at the forefront. Figures. All that talk about how it's not realistic and yet they scatter at the idea of being the prey. Frankly, Rocky can't blame them - nobody wants to be hunted, after all, especially by an alien that breathes oxygen - but it raises a hand anyways. "I volunteer. Grace hunt me. Then we know truth once and for all."

The grin that split Grace's face somehow seems even creepier than usual. It goes off to prepare, murmuring about contacting the substitute teacher that takes over when Grace gets sick. Huh?

Rocky disregards that and prepares by simply making sure the atmosphere suit is fully ready. It knows Grace isn't really going to hurt it, but it has to reassure several members of the xeno team and Adrian, who's come to watch, of that fact. "Seriously? It's Grace. Grace won't hurt me. Grace can't even hurt me!" It starts to mutter about how ridiculous they're all being when someone points out that Grace could potentially break the atmosphere suit with the abundance of rocks in the enclosure, trapping Rocky in the deadly Solean-safe atmosphere, which stops Rocky dead.

It's Atmosphere Specialist Superman, well-known to be paranoid even at the best of times. Eridians have no 'faces' like Soleans, but Rocky deliberately rotates towards the idiot just to hammer in the absolute stupidity of what Superman just said, and then smacks Superman so hard several team members have to pull it off of the scientist. It's swearing and screeching the entire time, and it takes a few Earth hours to calm down properly. 

The very idea of Grace deliberately hurting Rocky in such a way - when Rocky knows for a fact the scars from the Adrian Incident are still fully apparent to the Solean senses, when Grace spent months freaking out over every little sneeze or cough Rocky made when in the prototypes of the atmosphere suit - is preposterous. Grace would never ever hurt Rocky like that, would never do anything to expose Rocky to its atmosphere ever again even accidentally. They're both so very careful about it. Rocky is still steaming about Superman's insinuations when it walks inside Grace's enclosure.

Grace is waiting by the airlock. Rocky huffs. "Unfair. Go farther. Too close for start, cheater." 

Grace holds up its hands in the almost-happy movement ("When I put my hands up like this, this means surrender.") and steps away a good distance. It's still smiling. "Not gonna matter, Rock," it calls. "I'm about to get you back for alllll those times you ambushed me on the trip here."

"Yeah, right!" Rocky shifts, preparing to run. "We see who is better predator."

"Ready?"

"Ready!"

"GO!"

Rocky bolts. The sand is hard to traverse, its arms slipping both from the xenonite covering and the loose grains, but it already knows it's a faster runner than Grace. And when it clicks to see where Grace is, Grace is so far behind it's laughable. Oh, this is gonna be easy. 

Rocky reaches the edge of the biodome, a little worn out. Luckily, it just had a sleep cycle, so it won't need to sleep for another few Solean days. Grace is out of range. HA!

It meanders back closer until it can hear Grace, leisurely strolling along the beach. "What wrong, Grace? Too slow?" It calls out. 

A ripple of laughter comes from Grace. "You'll be eating your words soon enough." It sticks its hands in its pockets. 

Rocky snorts, and decides to continue to be a little shit. It goes back and darts around Grace, mocking it, staying juust far enough away where if Grace lunges Grace won't even be able to touch it. Grace does give chase eventually, but Rocky just carefully climbs up the cliff face. Damn, humans are stupid! Every time Rocky thinks they're not so bad, Grace does something like this. It's not even chasing Rocky! It's just slowly following. 

The biodome cycles over to night, Rocky can tell by the click! of the flashlight Grace carries. It settles on top of the cliff, enjoying the sounds of Grace trying its damndest to climb the cliff. Technically it's well past the time Grace should be asleep, but they're both too stubborn to call quits and the xeno team isn't in a hurry to interrupt this glimpse into human evolution.

Rocky has to run again when Grace reaches the top of the cliff and starts to chase it again. This keeps going, Rocky running and mocking Grace, Grace just continuing on, unshakable. Rocky only starts to worry when night falls again and Grace is still able to catch up to it!

It yells to Grace, who's some distance behind. "Grace need sleep."

"Grace has slept." Grace shouts back. "Remember, I can wake up easily. I've been sleeping and eating regularly, I promise."

"Good!" Rocky lets itself feel some relief that Grace isn't neglecting its health for this experiment. Then it goes right back to insults. "Then Grace have no excuse to be so slow!" It makes a 'fart' noise in Grace's direction and scuttles off, laughing at the offended sound Grace makes. 

Day comes again, and Rocky gets frustrated. What in the actual fuck?! Something's not right. Grace has been at this for two Earth days and nights now. If Grace was going to catch Rocky, shouldn't that have happened by now? Is Grace even taking this experiment seriously?

Well, Rocky does know Grace is taking it seriously, because Grace is doing it. Hasn't given up. Hasn't called it quits. So the only reason why the experiment is still going must be because this persistence way of hunting is, in fact, not effective, and Grace is just too stubborn to admit it! HA! Get wrecked, Grace.

Frustration turns to glee, which then curdles into nervousness as the day still goes on with no sign of Grace stopping the pursuit. They've both been running in circles: the biodome's not that big, all told, and Rocky can't access a quarter of it due to the fake ocean. And Rocky can feel a sleep cycle is imminent. It's exhausted. All the running it's been doing must have brought the sleep cycle on sooner. And Grace, last Rocky heard, still shows no sign of tiredness. Shit!

Rocky pushes itself just a little harder, until Grace is far beyond Rocky's range of hearing and Rocky is well hidden: Grace is still on top of the cliffs by the wall of the dome, while Rocky's down below nearer to the water. Then it finds a cave. It knows this cave in particular has a room beside it where the xeno team has been watching on the camera feeds and listening to this whole debacle. 

"Must sleep," Rocky manages. "Can't keep going." It collapses, and the world vanishes. No worries. Grace won't catch up, and if it does, it won't think to look for Rocky here.

When Rocky wakes, it first hears a clamoring from the observation room. Many voices shouting over one another. It sends a spike of fear through Rocky, and it taps at the floor to hear better - and nearly has a cardiac failure then and there, screaming louder than it's ever screamed before in its life.

Grace is standing right. over. Rocky. Looming, really, and it's never sounded taller or more ominous.

"Hiiii."

Then Grace plunges down, wraps its arms around Rocky. "Gotcha!" It opens its mouth and presses it to Rocky's carapace, leaking all over it and pressing its tongue to the xenonite as if it's trying to eat Rocky.

Rocky shudders in disgust and cusses Grace out with every word it knows, smacking it lightly with an arm. "CREEPY! Scared Rocky, nearly kill Rocky with attacking heart! No no no bad Grace! BAD BAD BAD GRACE!"

Grace is laughing, sending vibrations through Rocky's body. "I told you," it says in that light singing kind of voice it likes to do. "I tooooold youuuu! Persistence predators, baby!"

"That no count! You wait until I fall… asleep…" A horrible idea begins to dawn on Rocky. "No." There's no way. There's no way. It's too awful to think of, and yet it's the only possibility.

"Well-" Grace settles back, crosses its legs underneath it and turns towards the window to the observation room: where, by the way, everyone's gone silent with their own realizations. "You guys didn't let me finish explaining earlier. See, a lot of prey animals on Earth are very fast, like Rocky here." It gives Rocky a noogie. "So humans evolved to be able to endure long stretches of exercise like this. We chase an animal, track it using its footprints or the direction it was going in usually, and then eventually the animal's so exhausted that it has to sleep, and that's when we attack and kill it for our food. So that's what I just did!" Grace flashes its teeth again. It's terrifyingly happy about all of this.

Meanwhile, Rocky quite literally cannot move from fear. Grace has sparked fear before: their first meeting, when Rocky had no clue what to expect but it certainly wasn't some squishy cold bag of meat that breathed oxygen of all things; over Adrian the planet, when the ship had been sent into an uncontrolled spin and Rocky had known what it would have to do to save Grace and Earth and Erid all at once even if it meant death; for a few moments when Rocky had been floating in its tomb, the original Eridian ship, and heard a cracking thumping sort of noise coming from space, right before it'd discovered that the noise was Grace coming to save it.

All of those instances were tiny bits of dust next to this type of fear. The revelation that Rocky's wonderful and clumsy friend could have, just now, very easily killed Rocky in Rocky's sleep and that its species did so regularly was the singular most horrifying concept anyone could ever have imagined. Grace probably had no idea that the Solean way of hunting was the stuff of the worst Eridian horror stories. Something that just kept going, kept chasing you until you were forced to sleep? Fucking WHY?! WHY did Rocky have to meet AND BRING HOME the ONE species it knew of that DID THAT?! WHY?!

"That-" it weakly starts - still feeling like it was about to, as the Soleans say, 'shit its pants' - "Very… nice, Grace. Thank for demonstration."

It crawls out from under Grace's arm. "Back soon," and lunges for the airlock. It needs… more than a little bit of processing time. That whole thing was fucking disturbing. 

Grace just waves, oblivious to Rocky's internal turmoil. "See you later, Rocky!"

[stayweirdalways]

@weatherwax-bees I did not in fact know that but someone on ao3 said it too, whoopsies 😅 might have to change that paragraph up a little

[the-offical-dissapointment]

Omg id read the fuck out of that fic ahhhhhhhh

[sugrbyte]

real foottage of me playing tf2

[sugrbyte]

pray hast thou, the pure of heart, care to bestow a like upon these paintings?

[nonnemor]

Well then there is this.

Just got a message from someone that apologized for mass reporting my account because they had mistaken me for being someone that scammed them. I sent them a heartfelt message but they just blocked me right on the spot. What the hell? Have some class. You mass report someone, and when they respond with kindness you block them on the spot. Bruh.

Lol it's a scammer

[wolfythewitch]

Part 3

[nonnemor]

Alien having a crew member that wears revealing clothes at the ship (singlets, shorts, long t-shirt with nothing put undergarments beneath) getting a new crew member that is covered from head to toe - where all you can see is her eyes, and she refuses to make contact with the alien because she does not "touch the opposite gender". From being so perplexed at the contrast between the same specie, the alien tries to understand what in the world is happening; because it turns out they documented everything about Earth except diving more into human religion (which they had procrastinated on).

Bonus points if the completely covered human's religion also convinces the alien to follow it, just by researching and next time they meet up with their own extraterrestrial buddies their friends are like "what in the mothers flawless universe happened to bro"

Would like to see someone write about this before I also start!

[juzo-kun]

I've seen a lot of these "humans are the weird guys of the galaxy" kind of stories and I recalled a scenario. So, humans at last gain FTL drive and start to roam the neigborhood and there are a lot of sentient life on a lot of planets, star trek style. And star trek style a lot of them seems to have origin in the same class (in the cladistic means of the word).

Except humans are the only mammals. Those tall people? Reptiles. These other people? Reptiles. Flying people? Birds, thus originally reptiles. Naga people? Obviously reptiles. The ones that look like turtles? Those too. The dragon-looking ones? Guess!

Basically, everyone on a planet of the same type of Earth seems to be somewhat reptilian in nature. Nearly every single one, with the rare outlier like insect people and yeah, us humans.

And every single one of them is quite wtf at seeing us mammals. Like, big sentient version of those fluffy, rare, small critters that some of them still have on their planets. Some of the most technologically advanced cultures managed to discover how, given more or less the same starting point and a bunch of technobabble, evolution tends to go the same way everywhere.

Until a human scientist talked about that whole meteorite in the cretaceous thing...

[guildofscribes]

Funnily enough, when they first meet past the edges of the Sol system, the aliens like the humans.

None of the humans were prepared for this.

The humans prepared for decades- for centuries! to contact life out in the black, and be judged harshly for their past. To be judged and found wanting.

The aliens, almost to the one, seemed delighted with humanity and everything they entailed. Good, bad, and ugly.

“You see, we heard you calling out for long, long, long… we could not find where you called out from. Now we have! You called for so long, and now we meet you! It is good to know you! We have tried so hard to find you and say, Hello!”

The messages Earth sent out, just in case there was anyone out there to hear, to extend reassurance that they simply were not alone was received always with delight. And they sparked a soft race to find the origin of such a kind and curious signal into the vastness of the universe.

[nonnemor]

The Ocean

Humans, known for their large diversity; personalities, strengths, "Immortality" and boldness, were considered fearless by almost every extraterrestrial in Milkyway. They made friends with beasts able to tear them apart with just the touch of their hands, and brush off broken ligaments as if they were nothing.

They were like a cryptic code. The more we unraveld and discovered, the more questions emerged.

Humans could be found in every alien spaceship, each their own uniqueness resonating with the extraterrestrials temperament for better bonding experience.

They were just that good at adapting to any environment. There were so many of them in space that one would think Earth had been emptied.

As much as their technology advanced towards space visits and temporary planet-staying, like nomads, questions about their home planet began to rise. The ocean would not be an exception because It swallowed most of Earth's total surface.

Considering they were so eager to explore outside their home, it would be normal to envision they had already seen everything on their planet?

"Your species successfully entered your gas planet, at last?" Gto'yo takes a sip of his iridescent drink floating infront of him despite being in a room with gravity. Mike had already accustomed to the fact their drinking liquid defied planetary motion. unlike his glass of water.

"Yup! We adjusted our space suits to defy the gravitational pull, and from there we flew around, gathering samples until we got what we came for." Mike raps the files stacked in his lap, setting it on the counter for later. "Pluto too. Clearly we couldn't forget that planet," his voice fades into a mumble as he narrows his gaze to Hamza sitting in the living room, just past ear shot. "after everyone excluded it from the solar system..." Gto'yo glances to where Mike is eyeing, assuming Hamza had an opinion about Pluto his buddy didn't stand with.

"Your next mission to accomplish may be fully mapping Andromeda?" Gto'yo grooms the white feather-like tendrils on his neck, his kind already having completed that portion. He was part of the Garmos, a kind known for being explorers and nomads. They had early left their home planet in hopes for finding more to experience, feel and... taste. Their stomach acid could dissolve concrete in seconds and were pretty much giftet with a broad appetite. Not big, broad. They could almost eat anything.

In fact, Mike's first meeting with Gto'yo was him witnessing his future ship-partner eating the handle of his luggage because it looked like a "local quisine". He still believes Gto'yo only said that to hide the fact he just wanted to taste leather.

"May-be! I've heard there is a lot of liquid planets there. We might just hop over those, just like we did on Earth." Mike chuckles, raising an eyebrow when he notices Gto'yo stopped sipping. He usually prioritizes his hydration.

"... I do not understand," he pushes his wobbling liquid away from him. "You have not finished exploring Earth? Your home planet, where every one of you come from?"

He couldn't believe it.

"You swim around the underwater scenery! You even pet the carnivorous chindrichtyes!"

"What are chinri-"

"Sharks." Gto'yo sighs, his white neck bristling up.

"That is beyond our conversation. Stay in it. You say you have not documented everything on your planet?"

Mike shrugs. It does not help Gto'yo.

"Anyone would have thought you had explored what covers most of your planet…" a clawed hand lifts up to rest on Gto'yo's forehead. Mike leans back into his hovering chair before responding.

"As much as we pet everything in sight and explore coasts just to boast about it," he scratches his stubbled chin and crosses his legs, "We know where the line is drawn." He glances towards Hamza, glued on his tablet. He has a metal leg replacing what should have been there, and three of his fingers are gone on his left hand. The faint clicks of his tapping keyboard is the only sound breaking the silence when nobody speaks.

Gto'yo notices the melancholy atmosphere, his fur-coated head tilting at an awkward angle. "What is with the sudden tension? Do you not enjoy the thrill of fear?" He questions, taking in the sight of Mike's unease. The human tries to smile, but the Garmo could taste the opposing feeling his buddy hid, who continued.

"...We have a limit to that."

The silence prolong between the two while Mike's eyes remain on Gto'yo's face. The extraterrestrial never expected humans to even know the concept of the unseen limit-line.

Gto'yo dramatically recoils in shock before cupping his palm to his head.

"...No... way. Yall kno de line? Tat's like, crazy, period. Bomboclat."

Mike cringes, "please stop speaking like a human."

"Mike unleashing the beast for real, no clickbait? Mi bombo?"

"we don't even sound like that, and now is not the time for jokes!"

Gto'yo swings his head back, letting out a quiet bubbly laughter that sounds ike the chirps of a pigeon. Mike rolls his eyes.

"Anyways, to your question." He continues, adjusting his sleeve. "We might not always know our boundaries, but we do have common sense."

"sometimes."

Mike frowns. "... Sometimes. unless we are asking to be killed." Gto'yo's long antennaes shimmered a luminous glow in confusion

"...And? Why do you not explore what covers most of your terrestrial planet?"

Mike leans his head into his palm "Once a man went down to explore, he came across a shallow pit-"

"Story time, wait." Gto'yo notes, turning around to go look for his floating drink.

"do you have to interrupt?"

"I cannot sit without food when there is stories involved!" His faint voice echoes in the hall before he eventually arrives with the colorful blob floating just above his palm.

He sits down on his cushioned tail. "Okay, please continue."

Mike waits a moment, eyeing Gto'yo in case he's gonna stand up again.

"... I'm starting again. A diver was exploring an area underwater that should have been mapped a while ago. He managed to come across a big shallow area where the sea sand just leaned down, like a steep hill. Just dead empty and dark there. He had to stop his documenting when half the body of a dead whale emerged from the edge. We are not taking the chance to explore something that might wake up and cause the end of the world."

Silence enveloped the room, and Gto'yo's drink had began to fade away, with the color of his face.

"...Should we also be concerned?"

"maybe."

Gto'yo would later on update the log of Earth-001, ensuring none of his kind entered the ocean coasts for the safety of Mike's home planet.

[nonnemor]

I desire to write more stories about the "Humans are Weird" sci-fi theme, but have barely any ideas for a concept (and I realized recently my english actually isn't the best). Is there any tips on how I can manage to get more ideas? :')

[nonnemor]

I'm on Instagram and Tiktok, where I first spawned :3

https://www.instagram.com/zozozazanomama?igsh=MTlyc21sajgxc2Yweg==

[nonnemor]

Guess who got inspired by "The Crow's Prince". Also no, the white crow had golden accessories on, not blonde hair.

[nonnemor]

Boy have I a lot to post. Completely forgot I had a user here ;-; I recently watched a hungarian folktale and had to make myself an oc.

[nonnemor]

[nonnemor]

‼️ARTFIGHT‼️

**[This document and all associated documents are the property of the SCP Foundation, and are subject to the classification requirements and restrictions therein. This document may or may not contain lethal memetic defense measures. Attempting to access or disseminate this document without proper and sufficient authorization is punishable by death.]**

Loading...

☣️ ArtFight URL: https://artfight.net/~_ZOZO_

☣️ Team: <:2024_Seafoam:1251653324995035196>

☣️ Types of characters SCP-ZOZO have:

- humans

- humanoids

- worm

☣️ Types of characters SCP-ZOZO create:

- Humans

- Humanoids

- Ferals(very rarely as it is not SCP-ZOZO'S main style)

- Monsters

☣️ Revenge/Friendly fire?: Due to the unpredictable nature of the anomaly, its inconsistent creations display a probability of friendly fire, but is guaranteed when a revenge is requested from an individual on the opposing side.

☣️ Extra: SCP-ZOZO is to be documented at all times. Only Authorized personnel with a level 4 access card are permitted to handle the anomaly.

☣️ Hitlist: https://forms.office.com/e/54a887K9D1

☣️ Requests to commission are to be followed through the link below before directly interacting with the SCP:

https://msha.ke/zozoshroomer

☣️ Art Examples / Characters

[nonnemor]

Alien oc based off worm on a string

No but seriously, their capacious fur have me flinged to oblivion itself

[vampireapple]

Toxic

Humans are toxic. Proceed with extreme caution.

.  .  .

Well, this entire mission was officially FUBAR.

Steve wasn’t sure why everything had fallen apart. This was his first mission as a civilian. It was supposed to be nice and simple. Go down planet side, be a body guard/pack mule, go back to the ship, boom, done.

But no.

Something had happened shortly after they arrived (Steve had no idea what, maybe a breach of social protocol?), and now they were in alien prison. There had been a scuffle, of course there was, he and James weren’t going down without a fight. It was their job to protect their crewmates, and at least they had done that. None of their three crewmates had been injured, just jostled a little, and defiantly scared. That fight ended badly for the humans, though. They were outnumbered, and to add insult to injury they were smaller than these aliens. The fight was embarrassingly short. It was infuriating.

He had a headwound and was bleeding all over the place, including those that manhandled him. He might have intentionally rubbed blood on them, just to be petty. A small part of him hoped his blood stained horribly. James had been slammed against a wall and definitely had a concussion. He was slurring his words and couldn’t focus. Fortunately, he wasn’t bleeding, and he wasn’t acting like he had internal damage, so he should hopefully recover without complications.

Steve took stock of the situation- he, James, and their crewmates were in a barred cell, bright lights almost blinding (that couldn’t be helping James), and no aliens were in sight. Steve still had his lockpicking kit, knife boot, and garrot. He wasn’t sure if it was arrogance or ignorance that let him keep his weapons, but he wasn’t going to complain. The first challenge was getting out of the heavy-duty cuffs placed on him and James. Steve was in the middle of trying to use his lockpicks on them when he heard James retching.

James had tried to turn his head so he didn’t get anything on himself, but was only partially successful. Luckily it was mostly just bile and whatever energy drink James had before the team left the ship. Steve did his best to help clean his friend, but it admittedly wasn’t much due to mobility issues and lack of supplies. He didn’t notice the vapor at first. He looked around the cell, thinking something was on fire. Nothing seemed amiss, so he looked down at James. James’s cuffs were… melting? where the bile had landed on him.

Steve blinked. That was a new one. To experiment he rubbed his cuffs on some of the bile, ignoring how gross it was. His cuffs started to melt too. Steve grinned. Sometimes it paid off to be an eldritch space horror abomination. His escape plan just got much simpler.

After making sure James was a comfortable as a concussed man could be, Steve got to work. He took off his overshirt, covered it in the bile, then rubbed it all over the cell bars, chatting ‘ew, ew, ew, gross, ew, gross, ew, ew, ew’ under his breath as he did so. He covered as many bars as he could. Sure, he could have just done a few, enough for them all to escape, but they gave James a concussion, so they deserved to have their cell bars melted. To be extra spiteful he wasn’t careful about not getting his blood everywhere. The bleeding had slowed down, so probably he wouldn’t get lightheaded from bloodless. Hopefully he could put that off until everyone got back to the ship safely.

While the bars were melting Steve got his group organized. He hashed out a quick escape route, instructed two of his crewmates on how to carefully carry a concussed human, and the third how to be a reliable look out. Once he was satisfied, they set out down the hall.

His encounter with the aliens came sooner than he was expecting. Their horrified recoil at the sight of him was gratifying. The reason the aliens were coming for them was not. Human blood was apparently toxic on this planet, and all the aliens that had come in contact with Steve’s blood were getting sick. The threat human blood posed outweighed whatever offence that had gotten them thrown in jail in the first place, so they were being exiled from the planet. Steve was a little disappointed at the anticlimactic-ness of it all, and even more so that he couldn’t see their reaction to their destroyed cell. He’d take the win though.

After James recovered he was very put out that he hadn’t been a more active participant in the rescue. The fact that he was the reason Steve was able to leave behind such malicious destruction was a small consolation.

.  .  .

AN: I started this because I wanted to write a story about human stomach acid destroying alien things. Inspired this post made by @aizawa-is-a-cat

I did little to no research on concussions. I’ve had what the doctor called a ‘semi traumatic concussion with memory loss’. I don’t think I was nauseous, but because of the memory loss I don’t remember the three-ish days before I got the concussion, the car accident that caused the concussion, and my memory of days after is spotty at best, so I can’t use my personal experience. I do know I was very confused, and every few minutes would ask what time it was or where I was.

More stories with Steve and James:

Death Before Two Trips

Specification is Important

Snippets feature Steve and James:

Hide the Object

Human Navigators