Are you ever going to finish Still Air or is the second part just the way it ends? You writing is sooo good and unique omg
the second part is just the way it ends. iโm really sorry if that disappoints anyone but i literally canโt bring myself to think about any other ending. also thank you so much for your sweet words anon. it truly means so much to me <333
๐ค| she doesnโt like being tickled because sheโs insanely ticklish and it humiliates her. you poke her ribs once and she flinches so hard she almost jumps off the couch. you laugh. she grabs your wrists instantly. โdonโt ever do that again.โ you grin. โor what?โ she deadass says, โiโll cry.โ
๐ค| she always steals your drinks. always. youโll take one sip of your juice, set it down, turn around, and suddenly sheโs drinking it like itโs hers. you go โsevika thatโs mine.โ she goes, โit tastes better when itโs yours.โ
๐ค| sevika tries to be romantic in her own way. once she handed you a flower. it was slightly crushed. possibly stolen. she stared at you like it was a weapon. โfound it.โ you gasped like it was a bouquet. she looked deeply uncomfortable and muttered, โdonโt make it weird.โ
๐ค| sevika has a strict โno baby talkโ policy. until you do it. youโll go โhi babyyyโ and sheโll grimace like sheโs disgusted. then ten minutes later youโll catch her whispering to you in the softest voice ever: โwhoโs my pretty girl.โ and when you gasp she goes, โyou didnโt hear shit.โ
๐ค| when youโre giggly and clingy, she gets this look like sheโs trying not to smile. like sheโs holding it back with sheer force.
๐ค| sevika is the worst liar alive. you ask if she ate your snacks and sheโs literally chewing. cheeks full. staring at you dead serious. โno.โ crumbs on her shirt.
๐ค| she refuses to ask for directions. refuses. youโll be lost for thirty minutes and sheโs just walking like she knows the streets personally. you go, โsevikaโฆ are we lost?โ she goes, โno.โ you end up in an alley. she pauses. โbabe weโre probably lost.โ
๐ค| she always tries to fix things around the house even when she has no idea how. youโll hear loud banging from the kitchen and walk in to find her holding a wrench upside down, glaring at the sink like it insulted her mother. โdonโt talk to me,โ she says, already losing.
๐ค| she calls you clingy but sheโs the one who follows you everywhere. you go to get water and sheโs behind you. you go to brush your teeth and sheโs leaning on the doorframe. you turn around like โwhy are you here.โ she shrugs. โneeded air.โ
๐ค| you once sneezed and she said โbless youโ so fast it sounded like sheโd been waiting her whole life for the moment. then she looked embarrassed and cleared her throat like she didnโt just reveal her soft underbelly.
๐ค| sheโs terrible at taking pictures. you ask her to take one of you and she holds the phone like itโs radioactive. the photo comes out blurry, tilted, and somehow includes her thumb. youโre like โbabe what is this.โ sheโs like โwhat? you look gorge.โ
๐ค| sevika doesnโt do โcute couple selfies.โ she does one picture, looks at it, and goes, โdelete that.โ youโre like โWHY.โ she points at herself. โi look like iโm threatening you.โ you go, โyou are.โ she sighs. โexactly.โ
๐ค| she pretends she hates when you cling to her arm in public, but if you stop, she immediately looks down like somethingโs missing. youโll be walking normally and sheโll suddenly grab your wrist and tuck you back against her side. โstay here.โ like youโre a purse she refuses to lose.
๐ค| she thinks youโre the funniest person alive but she refuses to laugh properly. sheโll just do this tiny exhale through her nose. youโll be like โYOUโRE LAUGHING.โ she goes, โno iโm not.โ you repeat the joke. she cracks. and looks personally betrayed by her own happiness.
๐ค| holds your bags like an absolute diva.
๐ค| sevika acts like sheโs above gossip but sheโs actually nosy as hell. youโll say โguess what happened todayโ and sheโll immediately sit down, arms crossed, fully locked in. โtalk.โ you go โi thought you didnโt care.โ she goes, โi donโt. continue.โ
๐ค| she doesnโt say โi love youโ easily. but sheโll say things like โtext me when you get there.โ โdonโt do that alone.โ โwear the jacket.โ โeat something.โ and youโve learned those are her love letters.
๐ค| she always pretends she doesnโt want kisses. youโll lean in and sheโll turn her head away like โugh.โ so you stop. and she immediately looks back at you like you just broke her heart. โwhat. youโre done?โ youโre like โYOU MOVED.โ she goes, โso whatโyou should still kiss me!โ
Ive never thought of Sevika as a scary person. Intimidating maybe. But I just read "Hide and don't seek" and now I'm scared shitless. Your writing is so unique and I'm sure you hear that a lot but it genuinely opened my eyes to a whole new perspective.
I think I might need to find a new comfort character because Sevika is just not gonna work out anymore...
thatโs great to know, iโm so happy you enjoyed it tysm <33
also iโm so sorry for ruining your comfort character ๐ญ i just love that it shifted how you see her. i feel both honored and guilty
i absolutely do not consent to any single soul fucking stealing my work and making ai bots with it. iโve already seen that happen once and i tried to take it lightheartedly because weโre mature adults not eighth graders but of fucking course it had to happen again. so no. iโm not ignoring this one
quit fucking purloining my work and use your own fuckass ai to create your own bots!!
Man I fucking love your writing, I just read rosemary again and Iโm crying and sniffling like a baby. I will never get over how well you are able to bring these emotions out of me, your first piece that caught my attention was your horror fic, I fell in love immediately. All of this just to say that if you ever doubt your writing, know that I will always be there to love it.
loved this so much i read it three times, and each time hit even harder <3 please know your words were seen, felt, and iโm endlessly grateful for them. thank you so, so much, anon แฐแฐ
it was the middle of the night, the last week of december. and the same โoldโ, grumpy, ready-to-retire woman splayed herself across the table, legs spread wide in a lazy manspread.
the bar was on the verge of emptiness, a soft jazz by louis armstrong crooning in the background. two lowlifes competed to see who could drink more shots, completely oblivious to the vomit they smeared on the freshly wiped counter. behind them, a dancing couple, dizzy from lousy liquor, wobbled toward the exit.. probably heading to the nearest alley to make out. youโd counted five shots each by now, for some reason.
you were just too focused on them, maybe due to boredom, maybe you really liked how in love they seemed.
the click of sevikaโs short tumbler against the table jarred you from your thoughts. you first looked at her glass, neat whiskey, her usual drink.. then up to her face.
although she wasnโt looking at youโtoo busy with the brutal machinery of a limb clipped to her shoulderโshe was the eye candy of this place..
and everywhere else.
you turned your gaze to the walking couple through the streaked glass doors, but then sevika spoke.
โyou gonna keep staring at strangers all night, or are you finally gonna look at me?โ
your head snapped back, too quick, too guilty. she wasnโt even facing you.. still focused on rolling the steel of her prosthetic between flesh fingers, flexing the joint with slow clicks.
โi wasnโt..?โ you murmured, your soft fingertips fidgeted with your apron.
she smiled. just a little. the kind that made your heart unmoored.
โdonโt lie. youโve got that soft look in your eyes. like you want what they have.โ
you swallowed. โand whatโs that?โ
finally, sevikaโs gaze lifted, pinning you in place. just with her tender grays.
โoh. donโt even go there.โ she leaned back, her legs spreading wider, lazy prepotence dripping from her posture.
you tried to look away, to stare blankly at the bar, the glasses you washed thirty minutes ago, anywhere but her. but you could feel her gaze burn across the space, you couldn't escape it. the heat of it.
sevika finally moved. she lifted the tumbler from the table, the ice rattling softly, and took a slow, long sip. the dark liquid caught the light as it passed her lips. her eyes never left you, not for a second, even as she drank. she was waiting for you to crumble, to look away, to give into whatever she was doing.
but you didn't. you lifted your gaze, meeting her stare head-on. the familiar ache settled in your chest. it was always like this with her. a game of wills you always lost but never stopped playing.
"the bar is on its last legs, you know," she said, her voice a low rumble that cut through the music.
she lowered the glass, the ice clinking again as she set it down. "last day of the year and it's practically dead. you planning on retiring soon, too?"
it was a casual question, but the subtext was anything but.
you swallowed, your throat dry. "and go where, sev? my life's been right here."
she hummed, a low sound of cynical amusement. "your life's been a lot of places. in fact, you've been everywhere but here."
you blinked, then flickered your eyes down to her hand, the one that wasn't steel. it lay open on the table, her long fingers splayed just a few inches from your own. you hoped it was a silent invitation, or even a dare.. but in both cases you had always been too afraid to accept.
the silence stretched, threaded thin between the clink of glasses and the faint brass moan of armstrong in the background. and you were still watching the spread of her hand, how close it was to yours.. how easy it is to reach out.
but instead, your lips moved before your courage did.
โsev,โ your voice carried low, careful. โdid you ever.. find yourself in someone?โ
her thumb tapped against the table once, then stilled.
you swallowed. โdid you like.. try?โ
her jaw worked, but she didnโt look at you right away. her gaze stayed pinned on the amber in her glass as if the answer was hidden there. one long minute passed, her silence thicker than smoke.
finally, she spoke. slow. detached.
โiโve had my share.โ
your heart tightened. the way she said it was too clean, too stripped of memory, like sheโd filed every face, every touch, into a drawer she never opened again.
โyou seem..โ your voice softened into almost a whisper. โdistant about them. or her.โ
that made her look at you. the steel of her grays cut right through, but there was something underneathโsomething you werenโt supposed to see. or didnโt like seeing.
sevika leaned back, the chair creaking. she rolled the tumbler in her hand, ice knocking softly against the sides.
โthey,โ she corrected, voice as calm as ever. โi had my fair share of women, some were good. but the others deserved forgetting.โ
the air between you had gone still again, thick with the scent of whiskey and stale wood. you hadnโt meant to open your mouth again, but something about her bluntness, the way she spoke of lovers like shadows sheโd stepped over, pulled words out of you.
โi only knew one girl,โ you said softly.
her glass stilled mid-roll. her eyes cut toward you, sharp with surprise, though her body stayed leaned back, feigning laziness.
โone girl my entire life.โ
you laughed a little under your breath, nervous, and looked down at your hands. โi was ten. she was maybe thirteen. same height, same weight, same.. everything, really. except she felt older, like she carried more of the world already.โ
sevika said nothing. the weight of her silence pressed you to keep going.
โthen the enforcer attack happened. my parents dragged me awayโsafer, they said. we hugged, cried, we even kissed, and before i left she told me..โ your voice faltered, but you let the words spill, fragile. โshe told me: iโll find you, even if i had to die for another life with you.โ
you smiled faintly, aching. โand i told her: in another life..โ
the jazz crooned on, lazy, indifferent to the rawness you set on the table.
โwhen i came back.. we never talked again. no another life. just.. nothing. just a broken promise.โ
you finally looked up. sevika was staring at you with an intensity that almost hurtโlike she might snap the bar in half with her hands. after a long silence, her voice came low, rough.
โwhy? what happened to the other girl?โ
you smiled then. soft. so soft it nearly undid her.
โi think she was just young.โ
her brow twitched, like she wanted to demand more. โwhy?โ
your throat felt tight, but you forced the words out, tender as a whisper.
โbecause i see her.. almost every day. but i donโt feel like sheโs mine anymore.โ
sevikaโs stare locked on you. and for the first time all night, her hand trembled. the tumbler, still half-full in her grip, gave a sharp crack as the glass split in her palm. amber and ice spilled across the table in a rush, dripping onto the floor.
she didnโt flinch. didnโt even look down. only her jaw clenched as the blood welled between her fingers where the shards had bitten deep.
her breath came uneven, almost ragged, and her eyesโher cold, steady graysโshone too brightly, like they were about to break. to tear up.
you were dying.. slowly, cruelly. your body had turned against you in a way no one could undo. it was a quiet kind of betrayal, coded deep in your own cells, unfolding piece by piece as you faded. and sevika was dying too. just slower. just loud enough to scream every day and still be alive the next morning.
she had proposed to you three years ago, with trembling fingers and a heart too full to beat steady. those years that followed were the only ones she would ever call good. the world had collapsed to the size of your body in her arms. you were her home, her anchor, her peace. you were the only thing she had ever loved without fear, without restraint, without wondering if she was meant to.
she didnโt propose the way sheโd first planned. the original idea had beenโฆ obscene. filthy, even. she had thought about slipping the ring into your mouth mid-rimming, letting you taste the weight of forever on her tongue before you ever saw it. sheโd thought it was funny, honest. but she knew you. knew you would have killed her for ruining something sacred with something so vulgar. so instead, she swallowed the laugh, bent the knee, and offered you everything in the most clichรฉd way possible. it wasnโt what she wanted..
..but it made you say yes.
it was supposed to be your happy ending.
but six months ago, your body wrote its own ending instead.
your immune system began attacking you. your cells, the very things meant to protect you, no longer recognized you. they saw you as a threat. a stranger. an enemy. and so, they tore you apart. your liver was the first to go, eaten alive by the thing designed to save it. sevikaโwhoโd once laughed in the face of fire, whoโd spit blood and come out swingingโhad no weapon for this. no fists could fix it.
because it was the cruelest thing sheโd ever witnessed. and for the first time in her life, sevika knew that whatever was happening.. was bigger than her.
but if the sickness is bigger than her, then it isnโt for others who knew it. for doctors.
she poured every coin of brass she had into treatments, into comfort, into time. precious, dwindling time. but there was no cure. no relief. just the slow, suffocating reality of watching you slip through her fingers no matter how tightly she held on.
when science failed, she turned to violence. screamed at doctors until her throat bled. held every surgeon in zaunโand piltoverโat gunpoint. demanded miracles, begged for anything that would buy her another day with you.
โ๏ฝกห โงห ๐ผ โ๏ฝกห ๐ผ โงห โ๏ฝกห
the hospital smelled like bleach and blood and plastic. too clean. too fake. like they were trying to cover up the rot of truth with chemicals and clipped voices. it was the most luxurious and groundbreaking medical institution in all of topside.
so if this failed.. something would break even more in her.
sevika stormed through the hall like a storm on two legs.
nurses moved out of her way before she even raised her voice. one look at herโthe trembling jaw, the too wild eyes, the blood on her knucklesโand they didnโt ask questions. they just vanished behind swinging doors and flimsy curtains.
she found the head surgeon near the nurseโs station. some older man with tired eyes and a clipboard. he turned, startled, when she grabbed him by the front of his white coat.
โyouโre not doing enough.โ
his mouth opened, but she didnโt give him time.
โyou told me she had weeks. itโs been days. sheโs in pain. sheโs getting worse, not better. and youโre sitting here filling fucking paperwork?!โ
โmissโsevika, pleaseโyou have to understand, this disease isnโt cu-โ
โthat doesnโt matter.โ her voice cracked. she wasnโt yelling anymore. she was begging through her teeth. โfix her. i donโt care what it takes. tell me what you need. a new fucking liver? organs? just say it.โ
he hesitated.
and she saw it.
the pause. the flicker of defeat in his eyes.
and something inside her snapped.
she shoved him hard against the wall, her forearm pressing into his throat, the other hand already reaching under her coat for the cold weight of the pistol she hadnโt carried in years. not since sheโd left the undercity behind.
โyou donโt get to give up,โ she hissed. โnot when sheโs still breathing. not when she still opens her eyes and looks for me.โ
โcall the security-โ he shouted at the nurses.
โlet them come,โ she growled. โiโll kill everyone in this building if i have to. just to buy her another fucking hour.โ
the silence was sharp. ugly. one of the nurses had started crying.
the surgeon didnโt move. didnโt fight back.
because what could he say? what could he offer?
there were no miracles here.
only machines. beeping. slowing.
sevikaโs hand trembled. she slammed the gun to the wall beside his head, metal clattering to the floor. her breath hitched. once. twice. then broke apart completely.
โplease,โ she whispered, chest heaving. โiโll bring you anything..โ
โplease.. she doesnโt deserve to die like this.โ
the surgeon swallowed, gently easing her back. โiโm sorry,โ he said softly. โweโre doing everything we can.โ
but it wasnโt enough
and she was getting scared.
โ๏ฝกห โงห ๐ผ โ๏ฝกห ๐ผ โงห โ๏ฝกห
the door slammed open.
sevika stumbled through, reeking of smoke and stale liquor, her steps uneven but somehow still deliberate. blood, dark and flaking, crusted her knuckles. her cloak hung crooked off one shoulder, dragging behind her like it had barely survived the night.
she kicked the door shut, the sound echoing through the quiet apartment. her eyes swept the space. the couch, the kitchen, that corner where you sometimes curled beneath a blanket like a ghost too tired to move on.
โbaby?โ her voice cracked low, rough around the edges. shaky, like she wasnโt sure it still worked.
silence answered.
she stepped deeper inside. something cold and heavy coiled in her chest.
then, from the bedroom.. barely above a whisper
โsev..?โ
she was already moving. โyeah. iโm here.โ
you were sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched forward, your hands trembling in your lap. but it was your eyes that stopped her in her tracks. wide. distant. not fixed on her.. but through her, like she wasnโt even there.
you blinked. once. twice. slow and uncertain, like you were trying to clear a fog that wouldnโt lift.
โi think.. i think somethingโs wrong,โ you said, voice thin and distant, like it had wandered far from your body.
โeverythingโs dark.โ
โwhat?โ
you swallowed hard. โi canโt.. see.โ
she crossed the room in two strides, dropping to her knees in front of you. her metal hand curled gently around your thigh while her other reached up to tilt your face toward her.
โbaby,โ she breathed, her voice cracking. โyouโre lookinโ at me, right?โ
a pause. โ..no?โ
her chest tightened. her hand shook as it traced your cheek, your jaw, then cradled the back of your head like you might shatter in her hands. โitโs okay,โ she lied. her voice split open on the second word. โitโs just the meds. or your sugar. weโll fix it. i swear.โ
you didnโt even realize you were crying until your lips trembled and warm tears rolled soundlessly down your cheeks. โi donโt want to go blind, sev.โ
she pulled you into her chest like she could hold your body together with pressure alone.
โyouโre not,โ she murmured into your hair. โyouโre not. i wonโt let it happen.โ
โwhat if i-โ
โdonโt,โ she cut in sharply. her voice fractured at the edges. โdonโt you fuckinโ say it.โ
she gripped you harder. her embrace was soft, too soft, meant for comfortโ but her flesh hand was growing colder. colder than the metal one.
then she pulled back, just enough to take your hand and guide it to her face.
โmemorize me.โ
your heart clenched. your throat closed. you couldnโt even find the breath to speak.
โright now,โ she whispered.
your fingertips brushed over her brow, slow and careful. down the slope of her cheek. across the scar that tugged her mouth into that permanent scowl. you touched her lips. she kissed your fingers as they passed, barely holding herself together.
โi got you,โ she whispered. โi got you. i got you.โ
over and over. like if she repeated it enough, the universe would have no choice but to obey.
and you believed her.
โ๏ฝกห โงห ๐ผ โ๏ฝกห ๐ผ โงห โ๏ฝกห
a few days later, it was gone.
..no flicker behind your eyelids. no shape. no shadow. justโฆ nothing. a still, heavy black. like sinking into an ocean without a bottom.
you heard sevika sitting beside you.
she hadnโt left the house since. no drinks. no visits to the knuckleheads. she hadnโt been out to the harbor. hadnโt seen silco in almost six days.
you didnโt speak for a long while. just breathed. counted her exhales when your own turned shaky. listened to the soft scrape of her thumb dragging across your wrist.
โstill with me?โ she asked quietly.
you gave a slow nod.
โgood.โ a pause followed. โletโs talk.โ
you furrowed your brow. โtalk?โ
โyeah,โ she said, gently. โiโm gonna tell you everything in the room. everything you canโt see. and tomorrow, iโll tell you about tomorrow. and the day after that. and every day after that too.โ
โokay,โ you whispered.
she adjusted on the mattress. you felt the shift in weight, the warmth of her body beside you.
โthereโs a mug on the windowsill. the one with the chip on the handle. you made me keep it after i said iโd throw it out.โ
you smiled, barely.
โthereโs sunlight on the floor. itโs yellow. looks like a ribbon.โ
a long silence stretched out between you.
โthe sheets are blue,โ she added, her voice quieter now. โthey smell like you.โ
your hand twitched under the blanket. she reached for it and held it in hers.
โi feel like youโre tired,โ you murmured. โyou sound tired.โ
โyeah,โ she breathed. โiโll live.โ
her thumb brushed over your knuckles, slow and steady.
โyou know what else?โ she asked, leaning closer, her voice husky and low beside your ear. โyouโre still the prettiest thing in this whole fucking room.โ
you let out a broken laugh. then cried a little.
not because you were afraid. but because she made it okay to be.
sevika held you through it. she kissed your temple and rubbed slow circles into your back while your shoulders trembled.
โmy angel,โ she whispered, โ..sent down just to save me.โ
โ๏ฝกห โงห ๐ผ โ๏ฝกห ๐ผ โงห โ๏ฝกห
January Third.
the night was cold and quiet, the kind of quiet that pressed against the windows and filled the corners of the room. shadows stretched long across the walls. outside, wind drifted slow over rooftops, soft and aimless.
you whispered her name.
โhold me.โ your voice was faint, frayed at the edges, barely more than breath.
sevika stopped breathing. and not for just a second.
she knew then. in the weight of your whisper. in the silence that followed. it settled in her chest like a stone, that aching shift in gravity. like the world had tipped, like something irreversible had just happened and was still happening all at once.
she didnโt cry. didnโt scream. her body moved before her mind could catch up.
she gathered you into her lap with both arms, held you like a prayer, like something sacred. her forehead pressed against yours. she was trying to share breath, to push life back into your skin through closeness alone.
โyou can rest.โ she said.
the words tasted like blood. tar. poison.
it broke her, saying it. the hardest thing she ever let herself speak. a mercy, and a blade. but you needed it. needed to know it was safe to let go. that she would not hold it against you. that her love wouldnโt die with you, but stretch on, root deep, grow wild through every breath she took without you.
she didnโt know if you heard her.
but you smiled. Just barely.
you wanted to say thank you.
you wanted to tell her you loved her.
you wanted to promise that youโd find her again, in a gentler place. a softer world. one where you wouldnโt have to be sick. one where her hands could hold you without shaking.
but your body wouldnโt let you.
so instead, with the last ounce of strength left in you, you moved her hand from your cheek and brought it to your lips and pressed a kiss to her palm. It was soft. barely there. like something remembered more than felt.
youโd kissed her hand a thousand times. sometimes messy and loud, sometimes slow and reverent, but never like this. never like it was the last thing you had left to give. you always had more love in you. you always did.
but then you went still.
your chest stopped rising. your mouth didnโt move. your lashes didnโt flutter.
sevika didnโt understand, not at first. she sat there, still holding your body, still waiting for you to lift your head and say something sweet. some tired joke. some soft little, โiโm still here.โ
but you didnโt.
the silence stretched. heavy. hollow.
โno.โ
it came out low, rough.
he pressed her fingers to your wrist.
her other hand shook as she touched your throat.
โno.โ
louder now. almost a snarl.
her hands movedโshaking, frantic, uselessโas she cradled your face.
โdonโt fuckinโ do this.โ
she was supposed to be prepared for this. but something cracked. something sheโd been holding in the whole time you were sick.
she pressed her forehead to yours. her voice cracked. her whole chest heaved like it was too full of something she couldnโt swallow down.
โdonโt fuckinโ do this to me, baby.โ
she rocked you. once. twice. like movement could restart you.
your mouth hung open a little. your eyes, still closed, like you were just asleep.
but you werenโt.
you werenโt.
โno. no, noโno!โ
the sound that tore out of her didnโt sound human. it was broken glass, and gravel, and something wounded beyond repair.
she held you tighter. clawed you against her chest like she could keep you in her arms forever if she just didnโt let go. her lips smashed against your templeโagain and againโas if kissing you hard enough would make you come back.
โi told you,โ she whispered. her voice was soaked in grief, barely a breath. โi told you iโd take it. whatever it was. give it to me instead. why didnโt youโwhy the fuck didnโt you-โ
her breath hitched. her hands slipped from your back.
she couldnโt finish the sentence. couldnโt find a version of this that didnโt end in her alone.
sevika held you until her arms went numb.
held you until the light outside changed.
held you until she felt the weight of you shiftโnot because you moved, but because something final had passed between you.
held you like she was trying to mold you into her. so that whatever took you from her.. would see her a part of you and take her with you as well.
she stayed like that for hours, cheek pressed to yours, whispering all the things she hadnโt said
โ๏ฝกห โงห ๐ผ โ๏ฝกห ๐ผ โงห โ๏ฝกห
sevika stopped living.
she didnโt call it grief. it was something worse. something black and permanent. the people around her noticed. they moved out of her way, avoided her eyes, said her name like a warning.
she was colder now. less human. more monster. and she liked it that way.
she broke what didnโt need breaking. killed instead of capturing. drank until her throat was raw. slept on floors. woke up in alleyways.
and still, each morning, her chest split open all over again.
because youโd made her promise to keep living.
and she hated you for it.
really fucking hated you for it.
she wanted to take those words out of your mouth with her hands. crush them before they landed. pretend sheโd never heard them. never nodded. never kissed your temple and said, โi will, baby. i promise.โ
but here she was.
and sevika knew.. it was a matter of time before she breaks that promise.
April First.
she stumbled through the front door, half a bottle down and the other half clutched in her fist. her fingers were numb. her throat burned. her body ached with the kind of pain nothing could touch.
she didnโt plan to wake up again.
but she didnโt even make it to the couch.
she slid down the side of the kitchen counter. sat there, back against the cabinets. the cooler beside her was empty. always was.
and then the air changed.
warm. thick. familiar.
a smell.
soup.
yours.
her favorite.
the scent wound through the room like your arms used to. soft and quiet and filled with things she couldnโt name.
she didnโt breathe. didnโt blink.
not until she saw you.
at the stove.
stirring. humming.
healthy. not blind. and still the prettiest woman she has ever seen.
barefoot. in that stupid sweater she always said was too big. your hair pulled back. smiling to yourself like nothing in the world had ever hurt you.
and sevika didnโt hesitate.
she got up like it hurt.
walked straight to you like you were gravity.
her arms wrapped around your waist.
her face pressed into your neck.
and she breathed. for the first time in weeks, she breathed.
โhey,โ you said softly.
your voice landed on her like mercy.
โdonโt you think you drink too much-โ
โno.โ her voice cracked. โyou shut up.โ
her grip tightened.
โyou shut your mouth and let me have this.โ
you went quiet.
her hands slid under the hem of your sweater, palms flat against your stomach. just to feel. just to know.
and then her mouth was on your neck.
slow. starving.
a kiss, then another. then another.
down the column of your throat. up beneath your jaw.
she kissed you like she was trying to memorize you. like her mouth could map you back into existence.
โi love you,โ she whispered against your skin.
one more kiss.
โi didnโt say it enough.โ
another.
โi love you so much.โ
you turned in her arms, soft hands cupping her face.
โi know,โ you whispered, brushing your nose against hers. โi love you too.โ
then you kissed her. gentle. warm. real.
and she whimpered. actually whimpered into your mouth.
because she missed this. missed you.
and she knew it couldnโt last.
you rested your forehead against hers.
โwe need rosemary,โ you said.
she smiled.
โyeah?โ
โi wanted to make you rosemary bread,โ you murmured, smiling. โit goes well with peach tea.โ
and thatโs when everything broke.
her dreams never remembered details like that.
not the bread, not the tea. not they your eyes shined with all the love in the world.
she opened her eyes.
you were gone.
the stove was still on.
the soup was still there.
the smell still clung to the air like your hands had clung to her face.
she moved. lifted the lid.
steam hit her cheeks.
it was hot.
it was real.
she dropped to her knees and ate straight from the pot, greedy and desperate. it burned her tongue. she didnโt care.
and when it was gone, when there was nothing left,
