Brooks’ body tensed up when Damon sat down beside him, and he had to resist the urge to shift to the other side of the couch. His heart was thumping in his chest, loud enough that he couldn’t help but wonder if Damon could hear it, and he didn’t even fully understand why he was getting so worked up over this. Then again, confrontations were never easy, and neither was talking about his deepest thoughts and feelings. The truth was that Brooks didn’t know what he wanted, but it was becoming more and more evident to him that Damon wanted to get back together with him, because why else would he be here, trying so hard and telling him all these things? Part of him wanted to get back together too, because he did miss being with Damon, but he knew it would end the same way it always did. Having his ex-boyfriend so close in his aura was making his stomach clamp up, but he tried to eat his fries anyway, despite them being quite difficult to swallow due to the waves of anxiety that were flooding through him. However, any distraction was a welcome one at this point, even overly salty fries. “D-Damon…” his voice trembled slightly as the other took his hand in his. “Don’t you think it would be better if I did leave you alone, though?” Just thinking about it made him his chest ache, but the alternative was to keep doing this over and over again. They would never be able to get over each other if they continued inserting themselves into the other’s life. Turning his head, he finally fel brave enough to meet Damon’s gaze, and emitted a soft sigh. “I don’t know what’s going on in my head, okay? You’re asking me all these super difficult questions, even though you know I’m not good at this.” Brooks always acted on a whim, and rarely thought about the consequences of his actions. So far, thinking about what he wanted from Damon had done more harm than good, and had only made him feel even more confused. “I just know what I don’t want, and that is for you to move on from me. And believe me, I know how fucked up that sounds, that’s why I suggested leaving you alone so I won’t be tempted to ruin your happiness again.” He was speaking from the heart, uncensored, though he knew his words were horrible. Sammy had told him to be honest, and it couldn’t hurt to try, since he didn’t feel like he had much to lose anymore. Biting his teeth down on his bottom lip, he glanced down at their entwined hands. “What about you?” he asked softly, still avoiding his gaze. “What do you want?”
Damon was waiting to hear something from him, this was so unlike him and it made him nervous. his heart was pounding out of his chest, he could hear it in his ears. why was he the one doing this? why was he the one seemingly confessing his feelings when he was the one who got hurt? this was fucked up, hard, his head was pounding and he was scared. he knew brooks wasn't this type of talker, sensitive and talking about his feelings of course, but this had to be done. there was no way they could put it off anymore and he wasn't going to let that happen again. he looked at him, biting his lip shit, his voice was shakey but hearing his name from his mouth that way, god it sounded so good. he held onto his hand still, not wanting to let it go. "probably," he said. "it probably would be better, it would make things easier wouldn't it? if you just leave me alone, fuck this, fuck what happened with us," he shrugged. he sounded too depressed. "they aren't hard though, that's the thing brooks. these are not hard questions. either you feel something for me or not, either you want me or not. i'm laying it all out for us right now," he sighed. he thought for a second. "i know you're not good at this-- i'm sorry, i'm going really hardcore i know--" he said softly. "i don't want you to feel freaked out, pressured.." he said softly. he smiled slightly "at least that's an honest answer out of you," he said. "the thing is, i haven't moved on. i tried.. i did, but look at where we are right now.." he said softly. he frowned hearing him "shit, brooks.." he whispered. "what i want?" he asked softly "i want you.." he said. "even though it's probably a bad idea and i'll get yelled at i'm sure by friends.." he said. "it's just, i feel like we're still unfinished."
