Why it is okay to use 'said:'
Okay, so I feel like there's a bit of this discourse or this idea that is taught to writers, from a very early age, even in primary school, that 'said' is a bad word, or is basic. That simplicity is often what encourages people to claim you should never use it, or at least avoid using it. Just search up the word 'said' on tumblr or pinterest or social media and you'll get hundreds of recommendations for what words to use instead. And something I think happens fairly often is that people internalise this advice, which certainly isn't bad, and stray away from 'said' like the plague. I know I certainly did, and it took me until I'd written hundreds of thousands of words to stop caring and get comfortable with using the word.
It isn't a weak word because of its simplicity, I'd actually argue that is its strength. Writing can be busy, and particularly in dialogue between multiple people (Especially if they're of the same gender- there's only so many same-gender pronouns you can use before it gets confusing!!) it can be really useful to have some simple words that do not add anything to the tone of the work, but instead are there to direct and signal the reader for their benefit- much like grammar. Take this passage for example:
'I'm a vampire!' she whispered, crying.
'Oh no,' he muttered. 'How scary!'
'I know!' she roared. 'I never wanted it to be this way.'
'I understand,' he spluttered, 'it's not your fault.'
'It feels like it is,' she laughed.
'When did it happen to you?' he barked.
So, this is a bit of an extreme example, and I think it's incredibly unlikely that anyone actually writes like this. But the point is, is that using too many dialogue tags that differ for variation purposes can confuse flow, and make the writing seem a little clunky and disorganised. Dialogue tags that vary are great for signalling a change in tone, but often we don't want to do this. We want to maintain tone instead, and said can be perfect for that. Then, if we rewrite this a little:
'I'm a vampire!' she said, crying.
'Oh no,' he muttered. 'How scary!'
'I know! I never wanted it to be this way.'
'I understand,' he said, 'it's not your fault.'
'It feels like it is,' she whispered.
'When did it happen to you?'
Whether I'd actually use 'said' twice in four lines is questionable, but my point is it maintains the flow of the paragraph. It feels more concise, the writing more understandable. You're not stopping every five minutes to figure out how the characters are acting - this is aided, as well, by the removal of dialogue tags altogether in some areas.
So, let's not pretend 'said' is a terrible word. It can actually be really useful, and helps to signal who is talking without adjusting tone when the tone has already been set.
I love 'said.' It's a great word. 'Don't use said when you want to signal tone but do use said when you don't want to change tone but rather signal the speaker' is perhaps, arguably, better advice than 'never use said' full stop.
