Not So Inner Nerd

As much as I tried to keep my fangirling to myself, my inner nerd has decided it must be heard. This was the result. I have no regrets.

[thenatsdorf]

Tough call. 

[pr1nceshawn]

[nancy-elsner-archive-deactivate]

Americans please explain why your schools are so wild

[aledethanlast]

If you ever think history impressive or grand, here’s a story for you:

Right after ww2, Jews were freed, but basically had no citizenship to speak of, and the allied forces weren’t that!helpful. So a group called the TTG was formed to help emigrate (read: smuggle) Jews from Central Europe, to Mediterranean ports, where they would take boats to Israel.

The TTG did this by piling the Jewish refugees into trucks bearing British insignia, their operatives dressing up as British soldiers, and just openly driving to port cities.

If they were ever stopped by actual military forces, they would say they were a part of a covert supply missing, under special orders from Major Tuches. They would stress that the contents of the trucks was super secret and to not be disturbed under any circumstances. They saved over 300,000 Jews like this.

If that sounds reasonable to you, here’s the thing: TTG stands for Tilhas Teezee Gesheften, and the operatives named one Major Tuches as their commanding officer whenever they needed to.

Or, to translate that into English, the event that saved the lives of hundreds of thousands of Jewish refugees was called Operation Kiss My Ass led by Major Asshole.

[incorrectaaronburrquotes]

Pick your battles. Pick… pick fewer battles than that. Put some back. That’s too many.

Aaron Burr, to Alexander Hamilton (via incorrectaaronburrquotes)

[thesymski]

the year is 2017. a ufo lands in your backyard. out steps a group of aliens.

you gasp. “are you here to find our leader and kill him??”

the alien in front seems alarmed. “no, no, we all come in peace, why would you-”

“oh.” you sigh dejectedly. “i just- we have a really bad president. like really evil bad, i just thought-” you start to tear up.

the alien places a hand on your shoulder. “hey now, it’s okay, maybe you can tell us all about him and we’ll- we’ll see what we can do.”

[awwheartno-deactivated20170228]

weep

[illkim]

when you hold a boy’s dick you hold all of their power. they are powerless. you can either give them an orgasm or destroy them.

[antifa-hulk]

You could finish him or finish him

[missmarymac817]

Yahoo paid 1.1 billion for this

[srsfunny]

This Has To Be The Greatest Idea Ever

[solarpoweredbotanist]

Can we get this in the American Congress and House?

[sherlock-hannibal]

Which do you prefer?

[bittyblueeyes]

I prefer MasterChef Junior:

[ziamdynasty]

a wholesome post thank u

[shrineart]

What’s best is I love all three portrayals, basically anything with this man in it he’s so precious.

[fanonical]

the fact that your patronus can be a person is really creepy to me

like imagine ron seeing hermione cast a patronus and his freckly spectral face is grinning at him from across the room? i would freak the fuck out

[dorcasmeadoews]

I am just imagining some American transfer student goes go Hogwarts, does the charm, and out pops Obama. Just full out President Obama.

[witch-apologist]

Reblog if your patronus is President Obama.

[raptorgone-deactivated20180205]

if you listen carefully, you can hear bucky yelling “STEVE NO” in the background (x)

[amusewithaview]

unusual inheritance fic prompts:

1.  “you died and left me your children, even though they’re only a few years younger then me”

2.  “you died and left me a haunted house”

3.  “you died and left me an obscure magical object, I’m not sure what it does, and your instruction sheet just says ‘have fun storming the castle!’”

4.  “you died and left me a fanatically loyal warrior order”

5.  “you died and left me a bunch of money and a pile of really weird IOUs?!  why did someone owe you a free body disposal.  why did someone owe you two brides and a goat.  why did someone owe you an island.  WHY”

6.  “you died and left me to repay a bunch of really weird IOUs”

7.  “you died and left me a small country”

8.  “you died and left me six research labs that operate in international waters and I’m kind of scared to find out why keeping them out there was a stipulation of the will”

9.  “you died and left me a menagerie of animals that are supposed to be extinct?  and some that aren’t supposed to be real???  where did you get unicorns.  where did you get gryphons.  where did you get pegasi???”

10.  “you died and left me on the hook for a hereditary marriage contract”

[scaredpotter]

tbh the most unrealistic thing in harry potter is when mrs weasley in the first book asks “now what’s the platform number?”

like this woman has been going to that school for seven years and then dropped kids off on the same place for nearly ten like why on earth would she forget the platform number

[marauders4evr]

I still have the headcanon that Molly BAMF Weasley saw a scrawny underfed child with an owl who had no idea where he was going and looked lost and confused and was like, “Ah, yep, new son.” but didn’t want to scare him by outright approaching and asking if he needed help so she was just like, “MUGGLES, MUGGLES EVERYWHERE! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE PLATFORM NUMBER TO WIZARD SCHOOL IS? WHAT’S THAT? NINE AND THREE QUARTERS? OH, YES, THAT’S RIGHT. THE PLATFORM NUMBER IS   N I N E   A N D   T H R E E    Q U A R T E R S!”

Of course seeing as how Harry isn’t the most observant bloke, she probably ushered her kids past him fifty times as different ones screamed the platform number until they finally got his attention.

[justsomeantifas]

them: SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST MEANS HUMANS MUST BE INDIVIDUALLY SELF-SUFFICIENT AND COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT

biologist:

[systlin]

Like literally the only reason we didn’t go extinct is because we are aggressively social creatures who community organized and helped each other when faced with disasters that drove other species over the brink. 

 (Like we’re so aggressively social that we looked at APEX PREDATORS and went ‘they look soft! Friend????’)

(The answer was yes because wolves are also aggressively social and they adopted the strange tall not-wolves just as eagerly.)

[kelssiel]

humans @ wolves: holy shit these things are so cute i wonder if they’ll let us pet them?

wolves @ humans: holy shit these things are so cute i wonder if they’ll pet us?

[nyofrance-moved]

NIKOLA TESLA IS SUPER ADORABLE HE’S JUST WANDERING AROUND AND HIDING UNDER THINGS I’M GONNA SQUEAL

[nyofrance-moved]

I should probably specify that Nikola Tesla is a cat and Serbian-American inventor Nikola Tesla is not wandering around my house hiding under things because he is dead

[scottstilesliam-deactivated2016]

I like the implication that if he were not dead he probably would be wandering around your house hiding under things

[salamandertoast]

[occasionalrpmemes]

Things Said/Heard During Finals Week

“I’m teaching myself French in one night. It’s going great.”

“Want some Raisinettes?”

“Let my people go…”

“I love the book on your head.”

“It’s an aesthetic. The cigarettes, the Raisinettes… it’s solid.”

“Oh, thank god, I found a banana in my pocket.”

“It’s… it’s less phlegmy than that. More sensual.”

“That’s a fucking… bird.”

“REAL RECOGNIZES REAL”

“Oh, I’m paying for my sins. We all are.”

“Nothing matters any more. Do you want ice cream?”

“It’ll all be alright in the end. Depending on how you define ‘alright’ and how you define ‘end.’”

“I haven’t slept all night, I’m vibrating slightly but constantly, and I’m pretty sure I just tasted god. How are you doing?”

“A note to people writing last-minute papers: caps lock might seem like it’s your friend. It isn’t.”

“Chicago-style citations means we don’t put any ketchup on the bibliography page, right?”

“The good news is that GPA is actually pretty insignificant in the face of all of our inevitable deaths, so…”

“God, I wish I had the core strength to consider stripping as a fallback.”

“Lifehack: Sleep when you’re dead. We’re all dead inside already. So sleep whenever.”

“I haven’t seen the world outside the library in so long.”

“It’s like the song says, you know? There’ll be peace when you are done.”

[11roses]

[rockthrowingbutch]

Patronize these kids at your own risk.

[ipecacandcivetoil-deactivated20]

so many gifs of ostriches doing their mating dance for humans but did u know

they actually did a study on this

and ostriches repeatedly found humans more attractive than other ostriches

yes

ostrich farmers have trouble setting up their ostriches with each other because they’re just not interested, they want their farmers instead

it’s incredible

[ipecacandcivetoil-deactivated20]

also, ostriches show notable sexual preference

some male ostriches will only display for male humans, some will display for anybody, some will display for female humans only

[nekosaws]

I can’t believe ostriches are reverse furries

[sunlian-deactivated20180906]

great we gotta kinkshame the fuckin birds now