potentially lovely, perpetually human

Hopelessly hopeful or just hopeless enough?

[ancient-hoe]

Two women kissing in nature, by Georges Rochegrosse (1859-1938).

[dateamonster]

vampire dude to his vampire friend: wow.. looks like there’s only one coffin….. what’ll we do?

other vampire dude who reads a lot of fanfiction: we could……….. share it

[dateamonster]

four years ago i made this post. currently it stands at about 300k notes. to this day if i google image search my url the screencapped re uploads of this post are some of the first results i see. it is perhaps my most widely reblogged post in the six year history of this blog.

and now, on this day in the year 2022 i see a gifset from the interview with the vampire tv adaptation where two vampires share a single coffin. a single tear rolls down my cheek, knowing that at last my long journey is over. at last, i can rest.

[demonrubberduck]

Ok, listen up movie and tv people.

What we need 0 of: sexy Dracula, Mina as Drac’s reincarnated lover, Lucy being blamed for her murder because she’s ‘too sexy’ and ‘she wanted it’, blatant Jonathan erasure, blatant Quincey erasure.

What we need 100 of: the Harker Supernatural Detective Agency.

Starring:

Mina ‘I’ve got a typewriter and now that’s you’re problem’ Harker, following the paper trail of every monster that dares to step into her country.

Jonathan ‘Everyone I’ve ever met is my friend’ Harker, buying beers and chatting with all the witnesses to gather up more clues.

Dr. Jack ‘I’m supposed to be the smart one but I’m weirdly good at break-in’s’ Seward, the one who can do whatever science /technology/ B&E that is needed but loses his glasses when they’re on his head.

Lord Godalming, Arthur ‘The Bankroller’ Holmwood, giving them the funds to travel, send wordy telegrams, and buy sexy new all-black vampire-killing outfits each episode.

Quincey ‘The Muscle’ Morris, here to politely tip his hat at passers by and then pop into an alleyway to curb stomp Jack the Ripper or something.

Lucy ‘Everyone would die for her, how does she always end up in these messes’ Westenra, who is the sweet and beloved friend of everyone in this office but somehow remains blissfully unaware of the supernatural nature despite being targeted by nearly every monster of the week.

Guest Starring Prof/Dr/Esq Van Helsing (his title changes every appearance) who rushes in to lore drop and dunk on Seward, smile lovingly at Lucy, then rushes back off to Amsterdam.

And if it absolutely has to have a reincarnated character, then it’s not Mina; Van Helsing is the reincarnation of Dracula’s ex-spouse who constantly rolls in to ruin his plans whenever he shows up.

And Dracula has a mustache, damn it!

[youllneverseemerelax]

If your modern Javert Derailed AU doesn’t feature him downloading the Reddit app in a fugue state and posting, unedited, the longest and most controversial inquiry r/AmItheAsshole has ever seen, dni

[le-loup-et-lion]

This is the funniest Les Mis shitpost I've seen in a while

[kamikazequail]

Why is this not on the post itself???

Im crying rn

[youllneverseemerelax]

#someone funnier than me needs to come up with the post title

“AITA for pledging myself to the law?” and then you see the post preview & the first sentence is like “The criminal fugitive (62M) who for 17 years has evaded justice and hounded my (52M) existence has just saved me from being executed by college students”

[girlblocker]

get vaccinated so we never have to see CNN talk about an omega variant

[kikokuso]

An omega variant would be one of the last covid variants and the trend is that covid is slowly becoming more infectious and less severe with each mutation. This would mean that the omega variant would spread and multiply extremely easily, but would also be weak and mild in symptoms.

Therefore we can consider the omega variant submissive and breedable.

[girlblocker]

op here. i want a lobotomy

[orange-catsidy]

if you're arguing which kind of fanfictions are more weird than others your brain is already too rotted from being Online bc normies think all fanfiction is barely literate garbage written by 6th graders and we're all equally freaks in their eyes. anyway the correct answer is that the fanfiction i like is normal and everything else is weird

[thoodleoo]

How did people describe the taste of cilantro before modern soap was invented? Or did the cilantro-tastes-like-soap gene not exist then? (Writing a Socrates x Plato fluff fic)

im sorry youre writing what now

[gothhabiba]

I love fanfic’s tendency to put absurdly young people in jobs that they could not possibly have until their 40s or 50s. you can tell something has been written by a 14-year-old when a main character is like, 27 and a tenured professor at Brown. some lady is a conductor at 24. god bless.

[rcmclachlan]

#in fanfic u can buy a house on coffee shop wages even if u arent an astronaut by the ancient age of 22 #w fanfic anything is possible so jot that down (x)

[rav3nsta9]

#it genuinely amazed me how many fics have roy and ed getting together the fucking SECOND ed is 18 bc they think that if roy breaks 40 #he might as well be fucking dead #like oh no..... this was written by a high schooler.... oh no kiddo.... #every time i just want to reach out and be like listen nobody wants to date an 18 yearold. Not even other 18 year olds #It’s Okay. #anyway its hysterical. We were all there once writing shit like ‘well how much can a mortgage cost? Ten dollars? ‘ #You start mummifying when you’re 27 right? Right

(silentwalrus1)

[thegenderal]

Have we all seen the lyrics to that new grimes song

[thegenderal]

[foxbirdy]

[thegenderal]

If i ever care enough about grimes to lie about her on the internet i need you all to take me out back and shoot me

[chandelyer-deactivated20241003]

Frieda Lepold’s “Stays dress”, “Mushroom dress” and “Witch dress”

[jupitermelichios]

you’ve probably seen the jokes about how archie andrews from riverdale went to war, but the producers refuse to say what war it was

but i’m here to tell you that the reliality is stranger than you could possibly imagine unless you watch the show

this is archie’s dress uniform

(the tepia overlay is present every time he wears it, i have not altered the shot at all)

this is archie and his buddy in the trenches, in their combat uniforms

yes I said trenches. that screenshot is from a flashback archie has to a member of his platoon loosing a leg to enemy shells in no-man’s land. (he specifically calls it no-man’s land)

Okay, so it’s WWI. That’s deeply weird, given Riverdale takes place in more or less the present day (there’s a weird amount of old-timey tech, but everyone also has iphones and laptops, so we can assume the old tech is people being retro), but it’s at least an answer

but it gets weirder.

because we know what country archie was fighting in. his deployment was in uzbekistan.

now despite it being called a world war, not every country was involved in the first world war. uzbekistan did not fight on either side.

because the country didn’t formally exist until 1991

so in whatever parrallel universe riverdale takes place in, new york and the town of riverdale exist essentially in the present day, the soviet union has fallen, but former soviet union countries are still fighting a war which should have ended more than 100 years ago.

so that’s bonkers, but i’m not done

in the episode in which archie decides to join the army, the school digs up a time-capsule from the 1940s and opens it. inside is a picture of four riverdale high students who were shipping out to the army the day after the time capsule was burried

the ghosts of these four WWII soldiers then appear to archie, convincing him that he should join up and fight

so to be clear, archie fought in the first world war, in a country which did not exist during the first world war, because he was told to by the ghosts of soldiers from the second world war, a war which could not have happened yet because the first world war is apparently still ongoing

and also it’s the present day and archie owns an iphone

[starsclly]

i love when mulder or scully have some extended emo ass voiceover bc that’s their fucking report and skinner whos Just Trying to Do His Damn Job has to read pages of their bullshit like. they never solve a damn case but heres three pages meditating on human mortality also mulder cried on it a little

[googledocsdyke]

talked to an offline man named tyler today who argued that tv isn't defined by interpretation the way that music or books are because "people don't have differing interpretations of, like, tony soprano"

[googledocsdyke]

i would like to set him loose on deangirl tumblr for 24 hours like a gerbil in a snake exhibit

[pomrania]

“But what can you actually DO with a degree in [insert subject here]?!”

Write fanfiction with a high degree of accuracy in a very specific field, next question.

[flame-cat]

tolkien ghostwrote this

[gaysie]

do u think omegaverse acknowledges covid-19 and the generation of people who permanently lost their sense of smell like how are they all scenting each other now is the omegaverse economy in shambles

[gayagendaofficial]

actually pheromone sensing works differently from normal olfaction, since humans in our world don’t have a functioning vomeronasal organ (VNO), we don’t have any data on how covid-19 would affect a functioning VNO in omegaverse AUs

[gaysie]

Actually there is evidence that covid probably would affect the VNO and it stands to reason would accordingly impair its function. Briefly:

SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes covid, can only infect cells expressing a certain protein called ACE2

ACE2 is expressed widely in nasal cavity epithelial cells but not in olfactory sensory neurons. 

Seo et al. (2021) studied potential nasal targets for SARS-CoV-2 using golden hamsters as a model organism (commonly used as a proxy for humans in virology studies)

They found ACE2 expression in the main olfactory bulb epithelium (MOE, your “normal” nose organ) as well as the vomeronasal organ (VNO)

Several cell types in the VNO were able to be infected and they also found significant inflammatory activity (macrophage activation, apoptotic cells, etc) 

The specifics of how covid actually causes dysosmia are not known for sure but epithelial damage by local inflammatory immune responses likely plays a role, especially because sensory neurons themselves are not affected (Bilinska, & Butowt, 2020). Therefore I would suggest a potential similar effect of VNO dysfunction as we see in the main olfactory bulb

From Seo et al.: “Considering the function of the VNO, infection and subsequent pathologic changes may affect the behavior of Syrian hamsters”

If it stands to reason that omegaverse individuals have functioning VNOs similar to members of the animal kingdom, then it is more than reasonable to conclude that covid may cause them to lose not only their main olfactory function, but also their VNO function as well

 References: (1) (2)

In conclusion the omegaverse economy IS in shambles.

[rosiethorns88]

It’s DOOOOONE! It’s finally finished! Oh my gosh, what a journey this has been! I started concept on this last July (2020) and have been working in chunks via Instagram Lives to complete this sequel papercraft of the Six of Crows for over a year! I’m so excited to present Hook And Crook, inspired by a specific scene that happens in Crooked Kingdom. I’ve been stating this over and over again during the lives, but there were specific mirrors happening here between the two papercrafts that wholly define the dynamics of the characters and the two books.  

We talked about how the symbols in the facade of the Slat in Featherdark (Six of Crows papercraft) represented the strengths of each character (cane, knife, guns, bombs etc). The crow is standing proud and upright, above the city, to symbolize the upper-hand that the dregs had during SOC.

Now, the tables have turned in Hook And Crook. The symbols on the facade of the hotel show the character’s weaknesses (gloves, a red bird, gambling wheel, Dunyasha’s stars, paintbrush & laurels etc). The crow is defensively crouching with its hackles raised, the city above and oppressing - all representing the dregs having to turn and fight under dire circumstances. And bonus! When you put the two side-by-side, a little nod to a certain Ravkan symbol takes form! What a stupidly fun project this was! I’m so happy it’s finally finished and I thank you all for those who joined me in the lives to watch the process! (so sorry for the low quality on this; Featherdark is my most pilfered artwork for unsanctioned merch 💔)

[jessebloom]

what if you asked, "permission to speak freely, captain?" and the captain said no? what then? this is what black sails is about.