Always Anonymous

I post things about my life, that i would never tell anyone.

[notforthefaultofheart]

We Are Getting Married!

<33

[notforthefaultofheart]

i’m pretty sure something is going on with my boyfriend. I think he is talking to another girl. He is deleting messges. I’m so sure he is doing something.. He’s been acting weird...

I’ll probably end up texting her and bitching her out.. If he is going something wrong i will leave him... i’m not playing this game anymore.

[notforthefaultofheart]

Sometimes i wonder if my boyfriend even wants to be with me...

I tagged him in a post of facebook saying that i love him and, he doesn’t do or say anything about it.

Im about to give up..

[notforthefaultofheart]

Hello.

 In September, i thought i wanted to be single and to feel what it is like to be a single 20 year old. I started talking to different guys and when my boyfriend did something that hurt my feelings i left. I was looking for a way out. He gave it to me. I was talking to another guy and it was exciting. The night i left my boyfriend i stayed at my sisters house and stayed up all night on the phone with, we will call him Steve. We talked about everything under the sun. He told my about his son and the struggles of being a young parent and having a crazy ass baby mama.. We made plans to hang out, so that sunday i drove out and we went to a walking trail kind of thing. We had fun and a few nights later we went up to a look out point where we could see all of the city lights. It was beautiful, but things happened and Steve ended up going to jail that night.  

It was four in the morning and all i wanted to do was crawl into bed with my boyfriend. I called him, and he didn’t answer, so i called and called and called until i pulled up to our drive way. I didn’t have a key but he didn’t lock the door. I crawled into bed with him and he wasn’t sure what was going on. He was still half awake. I woke him up all the way and i told him what i had been up too. I still wanted the best of both worlds, i wanted to hang out and be single, but to have my boyfriend. He of course didnt want that. He asked me to marry him and i told him no. We worked on us, him more then i. He didn’t want me talking to Steve anymore and i didn’t want to stop talking to him.

As we worked on our relationship, one of the things i couldn’t complain about was the sex. We would have sex  so much and i enjoyed every single moment of it.. At the time i didn’t care if we did end up being together or not, all i knew was I didn’t want the sex to stop. I loved feeling him touch me and kiss me and stick his hands in my vagina and his dick.. MMM. He is good at what he does. LOL. So passionate and so so sexy. He would tell me, how beautiful i was, the way he kissed me.

But after awhile, it stopped and everything went back to normal... we have sex maybe two times a month and we fight every other day. i want him to want me like that, to this day. I want him to walk into the house after work and push me on the couch and fuck me for the rest of the night, but he will be tired and will just want to eat, shower, and go to bed. It’s like once he knew i was his again and i wasn’t going anywhere, it stopped just like that. I can’t even get him to kiss me anymore.

He doesn’t finger me anymore, when i give him head. He just runs his hands up and down my back. i miss it so much.