Cause my health has been, frankly, shitty.
I've been able to identify that it's exponentially worsening arthritis that is bringing my activities to a slow grinding halt.
It's hard to move, walk and do things due to both my joints not being able to fully move, or just hurting, constantly, like a sore or tight muscle that just never chills out. Due to that, everything is exhausting and I don't have energy for most things cause I'm spending it on shit like walking. It even fucks with my sleep.
But I have an answer, even if I don't like it and that answer is a lifelong disease that I take a pile of pills for, every day forever, and if I don't my body will dropkick me back to not functioning, and it might anyway.
But there are pills for it, and I'm really hoping they aren't going to be a financial liability, but there's not really other options.
I'm both happy and not. I am 100% thrilled that I don't have to be in so much pain all the time. It's been swell, but the swellings gone down and I'm done with this shit.
But I don't get to be done with it, not really. This has been active, progressing disease. I'll be putting it on hold. It'll be just behind the curtain, waiting for me to fuck this up somehow.
It's also genetic, which means my son could have it. It's more common in men.
This wasn't the outcome I was hoping for, but I do get to come out of it, at least for a while. It's just bittersweet.