Enigma

too tired to give a fuck

[heavensghost]

I’ve been engaging in behaviours not beneficial to my wellbeing

[kosmogrl]

nooo brain ahah don't pay attention to that random wave of sadness please

[thememedaddy]

[mothgiirlfriend]

hey so it didn’t get better btw i just learned how to live like this

[cemeteryxghoul]

whatever (it's eating away at my soul)

[axngelic-princess]

You ever meet someone who is the human version of the sun and every time ur with them u just feel so warm

[notjanella]

how much pain do you have to go through until giving up is okay?

[notjanella]

i... i badly wanna talk to my friends about how terrible im feeling right now but they got their own problems to deal with too and im not going to be an additional burden to them

[notjanella]

most of the time, we find ourselves stuck in situations we don't want to be in but for some reasons we try to stay. we hope one day we'll get to finally love what we're doing. but it doesn't always work out and sometimes in the process of trying to love something, we lose ourselves.

now y'all don't want to live miserable and bitter right? so go save yourself, do what really makes you happy and live the kind of life you want. it's your life afterall! don't let other people's opinion control you. at the end of the day, YOU are the only person responsible for your own happiness :)

and i know its always easier said than done, but i hope you try. i hope you won't live your life wondering what if you were brave enough to pursue happiness.

[notjanella]

i wish i could really just pray for other people's happiness and like magic everything's solved and settled. i sometimes think its unfair how some people suffer through, what it seems like an endless pain but i know God gave us this life for a reason ❤️

[notjanella]

i feel like im the most uninteresting person in the world like we could be friends for a long period of time and u still wouldn't know a thing about me not bc im quiet and timid but bc i don't have any stories to tell in the first place. i spend the entire day clueless of how i really spend it like i would wake up and the next thing i know its bed time again. my day would always pass like that, with me letting the clock tick absolutely doing nothing, or at least in my case anything interesting. i literally eat, sleep then repeat and now that i think about it how did i spend my entire 22 years living this boring life? and how am i still not bored with my boring lifestyle?

[notjanella]

"In life, our goal is to be happy. Not pretending to be. And it's a personal quest. It’s up to you to make every effort to be happy in this world. No one will live for you, so don’t live for others. Live for yourself."

[notjanella]

some days, i feel like i can create a beautiful masterpiece out of my broken pieces and some days, i feel like i'm too broken i won't even heal

[notjanella]

i'm slowly learning the art of not giving a fuck

[notjanella]

next time na may manakit sakin di na ko tatangap ng sorry, cash na lang.

[notjanella]

tahan na, di ka ba napapagod sa kakaisip, sa kakatanong kung bakit

kasi naman darating rin ang panahon na di ka na magtatanong pa

pag nakatingin ka na sa mga mata ng taong tunay na magmamahal sayo

masasabi mo na lang sa sarili mo

"kaya pala, kaya naman pala"

[notjanella]

Minsan may isang tao talaga na dadating sa buhay natin, yung taong magpaparamdam ng iba’t ibang emosyon sa atin; saya, kilig, lungkot, sakit, inis at galit. Yung dating maayos nating mundo, naging magulo. Yung dati nating tahimik na buhay, napuno ng ingay. Minsan, pagsisisihan natin kung bakit natin hinayaang magkaganon ang mga bagay bagay. Minsan magtatanong pa tayo kung bakit “ako pa?” na nagmahal lang naman ng totoo pero sa huli niloko lang din. Minsan itatanong din natin kung “kulang pa ba?” o “saan may mali?” at “bakit hindi na pwede?” Sa ngayon, walang eksaktong sagot. Kasi ang sigurado lang ngayon ay nasasaktan ka, naguguluhan at nahihirapan. Kasi ang sigurado lang ngayon ay gusto mo nang maghilom lahat ng sugat na binigay nya. Kasi ang sigurado lang ngayon ay gusto mo nang bumalik yung dating ikaw. Yung ikaw lang at walang sya. Yung ikaw lang at walang kayo. Gusto mong makalimot, yun ang sigurado. Pero hindi mo kaya, yun ang totoo.

Sa ngayon, malabo pa ang lahat, madalas mo pang sabihin na hindi mo kaya. May mga gabi na nakakatulog ka na lang dahil sa pag-iyak. At may mga umaga na nagigising ka na umiiyak. Madilim pa ang bukas para sa iyong paglimot. Malubak pa ang daan patungo sa paghilom. Oo nga masakit pero maniwala ka, kaya mo. Oo nga mahirap, pero magagawa mo.

Nalampasan mo na yan dati diba? Kakayanin mo ulit yan. Malakas ka alam ko. At proud ako sayo, dahil sa pagkakataong ito, pinili/pinipili mo ang sarili mo. Sa pagkakataong ito, natuto kang bumitaw, sumuko at mapagod para isalba ang mga piraso ng nawasak mong puso. Sa pagkakataong ito, pinili mong pansamantalang masaktan para tuluyang maging masaya. Cheer up okay? Darating ang araw, babalikan mo lahat ng ‘to at mapangingiti ka na lang at matatawa dahil marerealize mong ang emo mo pala. Pero higit sa lahat, matutuwa ka dahil ang akala mong hindi mo kayang gawin noon ay nagawa mo at ang sya pang dahilan kung bakit masaya ka ngayon.

[notjanella]

reminder to mahself!