I just need to rant

[notmyfault03]

I randomly found one of your post and I'm sorry things are so hard for you :( I really hope you're still there

Hi so sorry for worrying you like this I’m still here I’m slowly getting better:)

[notmyfault03]

My sweet girl I’m so sorry I didn’t reach out to you when I had the chance I was always so scared and nervous you wouldn’t want me in your life anymore. I’m so sorry I have so much regret I wish I could’ve fought harder for our friendship. I can’t believe you’re actually gone even seeing you for the last time didn’t feel real I’m still in denial even if I saw your casket lower into the cold ground. I’ll forever love you I’ll miss you so much all I have now is our memories and those aren’t enough. You deserve so much better than the outcome you had my sweet girl you had so much life ahead of you I’m sorry that was taken away from you. I know you’re at peace now I’ll see you again someday and I promise to find you in every life time<3

[notmyfault03]

21 now and everything is still the same…

[notmyfault03]

I’m trying to get my shit together this year I need to stop feeling sorry for myself.

But I just know this little motivation I have rn won’t last long

[notmyfault03]

She is me

I am her

[notmyfault03]

Y’all know how some research say smoking weed damages your brain. I don’t think those studies were wrong I’m not a pot head i actually have smoked in like 7 months but I do think it did some damage bc I was never like this

[notmyfault03]

I’m having breakdowns all bc I don’t know what I want to do in my life anymore. I realize I’ve never gotten time to think what I want career wise. I’m not good at writing, math, or science and when I do think of something I’d like to do I always lose motivation at the thought process

[notmyfault03]

I’m 20 no job no drivers license and not in school I hate having social anxiety I can never focus I’m always overwhelmed. It’s like I’m not even there it’s a weird thing I don’t know how to explain it but I feel like I’m not fully awake I need help I’m just to embarrassed to ask

[notmyfault03]

I wish I was never born

[notmyfault03]

It’s been five years I’m still in this loop I can’t get out I need help my life is falling apart I can’t stop the suicidal thoughts I don’t have anyone to talk to

[notmyfault03]

i miss him lmaoooo

[notmyfault03]

i’m so jealous of my best friend it’s like she has it all… ik that’s not the case but it seems like it in my eyes

[notmyfault03]

i wish i had a slim stomach i like the rest of my body just not my stomach and my arms just a lil

[notmyfault03]

ofc i like the attention i get from boys but do i need em ?

no ofc not ik that

[notmyfault03]

i want to scream so bad

i want to leave

i never wanted to born in the first place

but i also don’t want to end my life over something i know i can get help with right ?

idk i’ve been feeling like this for 2 years now i think…

[notmyfault03]

what’s wrong with me ? seriously i do think i’m an okay girl but why don’t ppl like talking to me? i dont understand…

[notmyfault03]

i’m jealous of every pretty girl i see bc i know… i just know i’ll never be them