I got back into my tumblr 💜💜💜 I missed you hellsite
trying on a metaphor
we're not kids anymore.
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@notnotaries
I got back into my tumblr 💜💜💜 I missed you hellsite
i walk alone in the abyss and i think i've forgotten what i looked like. when i first started walking i worried about my shadow
i can feel my feet, itll take a while to forget those
i can feel my hands, my head, my hair. i could feel my heart, my breath,...my hair
but what about my shadow
it is an abyss after all
all dark and dreary if i laid down for long enough i could convince myself i was dead
it was an abyss after all
my shadow was gone and i didn't know where to look
after a while i forgot what i had forgotten and decided to keep on walking i forgot what i have forgotten and now its time to move on. but my breath was so shallow
it came like second nature
i havent stopped walking so i havent stopped breathing so
my breath was so shallow. i forgot what i was thinking when i decided to stop breathing
but i forgot what was forgotten and decided to move on.
i just kept walking
it was an abyss after all
and i havent used my hands in a while in order to not forget them id flex once or twice a day but the concept of time stopped existing after a while because
it is an abyss after all.
so my hands got forgotten and my arms got forgotten and i forgot how to forget so i forgot what was forgotten and decided to move on. one day the lights turned on
from behind me of all places
a lot of things happened at once
the shadow i had forgotten
the breath i was a'hold'in
the arms that went a'go'in
were back.
and i cant lie it scared me for a moment
so bad i forgot i closed my eyes.
i forgot what was forgotten
had to keep on walkin
it was an abyss after all.
im young, broke, and stuck
im stuck between deciding to save for my future or enjoy my present
im stuck jumping from job to job because i know deep down ill never make it in life
im stuck pretending everything is okay but in reality im on the edge. and this cliff is starting to crumble
and im stuck, because sometimes i don't even admit that im on that cliff.
im young, dumb, and free
free from overbearing parents who only want whats best for me
free from having a path that i can follow if my footsteps never pave one
free, from the thoughts of success
im young dumb and lost
lost from the moment it all began
lost from the moment that i realized that my only coping mechanism is to dream of success, but never truly try to achieve it
lost from the moment where all i knew was to pack up and move
lost from the moment where in my mind nothing mattered anymore
im young, im lost, im free
im young
i just started and i already don't know how to continue.
you ever try to walk straight but end up close to the edge?
through a night of endless rain
theres a drum no human can beat
though a night of endless rain
this music shakes my feet
i wish to dance in this world
to this this thumbing i just cant stand
in this night of endless rain
i beg, take my hand
we swiftly move out feet
drowning in this dance
till the waters to our knees
and we cant feel our hands
we take it down the streets
no one can see us coming
and when the waters to our knees
we know a floods a'comin
on this night of endless rain
theres no point in even runnin
so we dance the night away
to keep the sun from sunnin
i know my thoughts might not be heard but id love if they were
I wish to ascend past my physical burdens
Replace my restraints with broken chains
So that i can always be reminded of what was set free
some people are more content with the well than swimming in the sea
Element 1:pushing forward
Feet soaked in sweat
Caked in callouses i keep moving
My heart beats my chest
The heat steams my sweat
I keep moving
My knees buckle
My face beads
I keep moving
The fry beeps again
Heat freaks the pen
And all the chickens run headless
All except me
I know what i must do
So i do it best i can
Perfect my craft
Let go of my pen
Make others laugh
But never joke again
My feet soaked in sweat
When I shower only i can feel the calluses
I cant keep going like this
I cant keep going like this.
My feet beat the mat
The ground just like that
My fist beats the rack
But nothing changes that
I keep moving
I keep Momentos of my friends
more accurately of my friendships
little trophies that remind me of what most soon forget
the single biscoff cookies you always had laid out on the communal table that i ate so many of to the point of making me sick or the Metallica cd you bought me on my birthday honestly it was the first real gift someone has ever gotten me with my interests in mind
even fox candle you bought off whim for the cupcakes we got on your birthday is still kept on my nightstand
some days i feel like a hoarder
i keep things, obvious trash to others that i for some reason give meaning to but that's the way i deal with life
i saw a quote once something along the lines of "when i love someone i love hard" and in all honesty i thought that saying was cringey but when you sit and think about it is there any other way to love?