Feeling of afraid to be forgotten, not for another person but for yourself.
Magnolia, South Carolina, 2006
Froot Loops with Milk, home.
It was the beginning of wintertime, and nobody was home. He was only twelve and had just finished the last of his Froot Loops before the package was empty. His mom went away to a weekend trip with friends. The trips had been more often, not gonna lie. Luna, their neighbor would check up on him and made sure he is still alive. She told him that she would come home tomorrow.
His mother would only allowed him to have Froot Loops once a week, always for breakfast and never for dinner. He was feeling a little lonely, all by himself and no kids around his age living here. But with no one around to enforce the rules, he is having froot loops for dinner. He spilled some milk on the kitchen counter. His small hands weren't strong enough to pour the milk. Before he could begin eating, the sound of a car engine abruptly turned off on the front porch.
Was it Mom? Home early? She was shouting at someone, and the door opened with a loud force. There was arguing, crashing sounds, but he couldn't figure out why. He wanted to ask, but there was never time for him to speak. His mom had told him she was always in the middle of something.
The next thing he knew, she had left without a word, leaving him alone with his now soggy cereal. He ate silently while watching the day turn into night early. Little that he know, that was the last time he saw her.
Hot dog at the gas station.
Cheap dogs that was reheated on a stick, probably been there for three days or even more. Very bread. To be honest, it was very sad, just a splash of ketchup and mustard on top, not enough to even cover the bread. It was uneventful day, one of the boring days of his life when he was living on the road for the first time, Living on the road sounds ideal according to Jack Kerouac, in reality it was messy. His car almost ran out of gas before reaching the next gas station, and he wouldn’t always have the money to buy things he needed hence he was trying to get as much as free stuffs as he could get his hands on. The food supply is always insufficient, he hadn’t eaten anything in the last ten hours. It was gone within minutes, and then he carried on.
Turkey breast Sub from Subway.
“Smile”, The slogan of the town was everywhere. Paris, Texas was supposed to be a pitstop. One last time before he settle for good somewhere. The more he saw it, the more it made him uncomfortable, as if he was caught on camera that he hadn’t been feeling the need to smile in years. On the city monument somewhere he passed he read all about the way the city was rebuild within the twelve months. He sighed, that sounds impossible. He was somehow in the same position, needing to rebuild his life. He didn’t have twelve months to rebuild, he needed them now. There his lunch arrived, a sandwich with grain bread, he believed those will help him to feel full longer, american cheese because that was the only right choice, turkey breast, it was barely there he wasn’t able to taste them because it was drowning in the sea of ranch, still hates any veggies aside from fresh lettuce. Sure it was fresh enough, sure it was an alright meal he hadn’t thought in a long time.
Magnolia, South Carolina, 2022
Creamy Homemade Baked Mac and Cheese.
He had become better at cooking over the years. His experience in the kitchen had been taught by the high-pressure environment during lunch rush hour. Through years of forgotten meals, he tried more foods. His comfort food was Chinese from Panda Express, and although life had taken him everywhere from the western coast to the east coast, from north to south, he still hadn't found what he was looking for.
One day, he thought, "Maybe it's time to go back." It was the same early wintertime, back where it all began. He returned to Little Fortune, where there had been some changes, but he still recognized most of it. Now a grown man, more than ten years since he had left, he was used to preparing meal prep. On an uneventful work night, he portioned baked mac and cheese and reheated it in the oven, adding extra cheese on top. He turned on Netflix to watch some sitcom to ease the long day, to quiet his thoughts and clear his head for a bit.
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