“You won’t be with me forever, and nor will I be with you forever. Erwin, even if we continue on, and live our lives together, I’m still going to grow older and die. You said that I would have to deal with that if I were to be turned and my friends and family stayed human…but can you deal with it? We can’t even predict the future…what if I don’t even live until I’m ninety years old? What if I die in my mid thirties?”
After a long pause, Jean’s expression went from torn to pained, the tears threatening to spill finally pouring out of his eyes. Shit..he didn’t want Erwin to see him this way. Especially when he was already seeming so anxious and vulnerable. All the fears of what he was feeling before he asked Erwin to turn him arrived and he started to shake.
“You….you’ll leave me. When I die, or when I get too bothersome to take care of in my old age, you’ll leave me. Especially when I die. Sure, you’ll be sad and mourn me, but then on comes a couple more years and you fall in love with another human, and I’ll leave your heart. You’ll forget about me and place your affections on someone else. And I can’t even deal with the thought of you falling in love with someone else besides me.”
Jean wiped his eyes and looked at Erwin, reaching up and touching his cheek. It really was cold to the bone, and it made Jean’s already quivering body shiver. “E-Erwin…if I have to live a life without you, or you live a life without me…I don’t want that life at all. My friends and family are important to me, yes…I’ll still be able to hang out with them and be with them, right? Even if they age? I would have had to deal with my mother’s death at some point, and my friends’ deaths, if I lived longer than them, anyway. But you…you’re different, and you know that. And you are my friend, my family, my love…”
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