im a transgendered agender girl , it / she / he pronouns please 🫶
18 + page , MDNI , im 22 ♈︎
whats gonna be on this blog ?
i likeee
my chemical romance & other bands like that 𝄞
video games ( rn im on tomodachi life and stardew valley especially )
kittys and bunnies 🐈🐇
monster high , invader zim , cartoons i like
my taggs
#.aurora time <- talk tag
#.hey thats me ! <- fashion / makeup / selfie tag
#.foods <- includes calorie counts
#.sesh <- weed and drinking and stuff
#.movie time #.viddy games
#.kittys #.bunie
and then things will have their specific tags , like my chemical romance stuff will just be tagged #my chemical romance , ect o(^▽^)o
about me more under the cut ! ! !
sooo um haiii , im aurora , like i said im 22 and a transgender agender girl . im also a DID system , i struggle alot with mental health in alot of ways but im working on getting better , im trying really hard ! im multiply disabled physically , and multiply disabled mentally ヽ(○´3`)ﾉ
this blog is new but ive been very active on tumblr since 2018 , i just chronically delete and restart my social medias so the individual blogs never last , i think my longest blog was 3 years old . BUT ! im always trying to curate my forever blog , but thats kinda hard for me being a system and my life . . . ૮ . . ა
im very lonely , id love to make new friends , so my asks are always open and my DMs are open to everyone my age or older ! ／(^ × ^)＼
i dont know how much ill talk about them on this blog but i love crocheting and baking ! im trying to get back into writing and drawing so those might start making appearances but no promises ! i draw both digitally and physically , usually just sketching with pencil and pens but i recently got cheap oil pastels that i want to learn too !
but yea ! i hope we can have fun together herrreee ! ⸝⸝> <⸝⸝
Based on the song Vampires Will Never Hurt You: what will life look life after turning to vampirism for power and strength? How far will everyone have to go and how much will have to be sacrificed to maintain normalcy, if they even can?
Words: 4,493 | Warnings : marijuana and cigarette use, nightmares | ao3 in reblog
“103.7, Classic Hits. The hits you love, all the time. Coming up next–”
Illi blinked rapidly and adjusted her grip on her steering wheel as she realized she hadn’t been focusing on the road. The radio DJ was louder than the songs, so it jolted her back to attention. There never was as much traffic after sundown; she was almost home already. The neighbor was pulling out from their driveway as she pulled up to hers, and they each waved politely as they passed. Mikey's car was already parked in the driveway, and Illi pulled in behind him. She didn't get out, not yet. Leaned back, watching the trees sway in the breeze through the sunroof and taking long, deep breaths melted the weight of the workday off of her. She stayed until the song on the radio ended and the DJ came back on. Then, finally, she grabbed her purse from the passenger seat and a reusable bag from the car floor and headed inside.
“I’m home!” she yelled as she hung up her jacket. Mikey wasn’t in the kitchen, so she assumed he was in his room. “Have you heard from Ray or Frank?”
“Not yet,” Mikey called. He came into the kitchen and sat at the dining table. “How was work?”
“It was work,” she grumbled. Illi asked, “How was work and school for you?”
“Bloody great,” Illi rolled her eyes at him, “No, I had someone faint on me, always fun. But he was AB-positive, so that was cool. What’d you get from work today?” He pointed to Illi’s extra bag, “Anything fun?”
“No, not really. Hey, uh, why don’t you text them and see where they are, and I’ll go clean and get set up?”
“Sure. Let me know if you need any help,”
Illi went down to the basement, her room. Older sibling privileges meant she got the larger space. She tossed her purse onto the loveseat and shoved her bag from work under the bed. Her room hadn’t been properly clean in years, but she made an attempt by throwing some of the dirty laundry on the floor into the hamper and straightening the covers on her bed. She kept a folding table in her closet for their Dungeons and Dragons nights; she got it set up and recruited Mikey’s help in bringing down the dining table chairs for around it. He grabbed a few dirty dishes from Illi’s nightstand and brought them up to the kitchen as he left while she finished setting up their scene. It was the last day of August– the last day of every month is one of their DND nights, along with the fifteenth. It had become a ritual of sorts for the four of them. Everyone always requested off of work or a morning shift. Rain or shine, they would come and, at least for an evening, spend time together to run their campaign. It had been that way for years, and it could be counted on one hand how many sessions had been missed.
Illi heard talking in the kitchen— one of the guys must have arrived. Everything was set up just how they had ended it last session. The door to the top of the steps opened, and Mikey was talking to whoever was there. Illi could tell from the footsteps coming down the stairs that it was Ray; Frank practically stomps. Ray came over to check out the scene Illi had laid out, complimented how she had repainted some of the monster miniatures, and hugged her hello. Frank didn’t bother to ring the doorbell, he just welcomed himself into the house and came down into Illi’s room with the rest of them. He’d been over enough to feel at home, but Illi gets jumpy having someone simply appear in her house.
They gathered around the table, and at the end of it, Illi sat behind a small partition. She had laid out in front of her the plans for this section of the campaign, copies of character sheets with stats and abilities, lists of spells, attacks and what damages they do, cups of dice, everything one might need to reference.
“So what are we up against this time?” Frank asked, shaking the table as he bounced his leg. Ray held the table down.
“You’ll find out,” She almost giggled.
“I don’t like that smile,” Ray piped up, “That always means that we’re gonna get our asses handed to us,”
The plot of the campaign had a deceptive exposition. They fought monsters that were almost easy, found valuable items with little challenge and completed their primary quest with little resistance. It started to get suspicious right as Illi started ramping up the pressure. The group was traveling through the mountains when they were ambushed in a valley by a group of high-level orcs. They had little time to organize themselves before the orcs attacked. Mikey’s character was a half-elf paladin, Alvalor, the party’s defender. He would take on the front line and the brunt of the damage. Frank played a tiefling druid as the healer, Thexus. He would stay back and keep Alvalor’s health up while Hror, Ray’s bugbear barbarian, dealt their strongest attacks.
They got their characters into position and felt confident in their plan. That is, until the orcs made their first hit and wiped out two-thirds of their paladin’s health points with a single blow. They all knew they were screwed, but they couldn’t give up. Thexus made quick work of healing Alvalor, and Hror landed a successful hit with his battleaxe. It didn’t do as much as any of them hoped, but the first offensive attack had been made. The cycle continued for a moment– tanking, healing, attacking– but the healer can only output so much before he has to recharge.
“Do you need any potions?” Frank pressed.
“I have three,” Mikey answered, but tense.
“We’ve barely killed one orc! How many are left?” Ray looked to Illi desperately.
“Four,” she said with a serious smirk.
Alvalor used his first potion, and Hror quickened his pace with the large attacks. They narrowly downed another orc by the time their healer had recharged. Thexus stepped up just in time, restoring each of them as much as he could, but it was for nothing. A critical hit had landed on their defender, and he was nearly gone. He used another potion quickly, not waiting for Thexus or wanting him to drain himself again so soon. As Alvalor recovered, Hror readied himself, and Thexus prepared to attack as well. Saving his special energy to aid the others, he grabbed his sling. The path of the valley was littered with fist-sized rocks he could fire.
The three of them planned that Alvalor would bash the charging orc with his shield, Thexus would blind it by launching two large rocks at its eyes, and Hror would land the final blow, killing the third orc in one coordinated motion. Alvalor ran up to topple the orc and was met with a mace to his shield. It dealt a significant amount of damage, but his worry was on his mission. He got back up to execute the plan. Hror called for him to retreat so he could be healed, but he fought on. The orc came at him again, but he was ready; he was faster. He shoved against the orc with all his might, and it fell to the ground. He called to Thexus, who was at the ready, and the first stone landed square in the orc's left eye. The orc stumbled to get up, blood seeping through its fingers as it held its wound, and another rock pelted it in the temple. Hror jumped on it, knocking it back to the ground, swinging his axe again and again. Alvalor called out to Hror to stop, that it was dead. Thexus pulled Hror away and back to check on Alvalor. To take the final potion or not was the party’s question.
“There’s only one left,” Mikey started. Ray decided quickly.
“You should sit-”
“I should take my final hit,” Mikey interrupted. Frank loudly disagreed. “Let me slow it down, Hror, you finish it off, and Thexus, you focus your support on him,”
“How is that fair?” Frank practically shouted, “One for all and all for one– We can’t just sacrifice you!”
“Well, it’s not like you can’t reincarnate me in our next session,”
“That's a good idea, actually,” Illi perked up, grabbed a pen, flipped to a fresh page in her notebook behind the divider, and started writing furiously.
“This doesn’t need any encouragement!” Ray told her.
“Why not?” Mikey asked, “What’s your better idea, since you’re shitting on mine, hm?” They sat in silence as neither of them could come up with a better plan, "That's what I thought. So, Hror, you take my potion, I’ll go back to the front lines, and let's finish this!”
With Mikey’s encouragement, they got back into place. Alvalor was face-to-face with the final orc, taller and broader than the rest. He was prepared to meet his maker. Readying his shield and his nerves, he let out a battle cry and charged into combat. But the orc never struck him. Instead, it charged past him to attack Hror. One, two blows and Hror was gone.
“What the hell was that?” Frank looked to Illi in horror.
“A twist,” She said innocently.
“You'd better have fresh character sheets for our new campaign. I don’t have any,” Ray sat back in his chair, eyebrows raised in a huff.
“Come on,” She drawled out, “It’s not over yet! Thexus has half his energy! And before you ask, no, I'm not changing the rules. Inventories still disappear after you die. I’m not letting you loot Hror’s body for that potion. That was a good idea, though sharing items with each other,” She leaned in towards the group for emphasis.
“Well, what are we gonna do now?” Mikey wondered. After a moment, he looked to Frank, who was biting his lip ring. “You’re gonna have to attack,”
“What?” He jumped, “But what if you need backup?”
“What if I’m the backup?”
“You’re not a healer, though?” Ray pointed out, confused.
“I know, but a different kind of backup. What if we all swapped roles? Hror, you did your best defending yourself, the orc was just too strong. That was you taking on my role in a way. Thexus, when was the last time you used your Wild Shape for anything this important? You always prioritize the rest of the party's needs over taking the reins. We all appreciate that, don’t get me wrong,” Ray nodded in agreement, “but sometimes it's nice to be a part of the action. And I can't right now. So like Illi said, let’s share items. Give me your sling. I’ll knock it down, you finish it off,” Frank sat and thought about it for a moment, looking between the miniatures on their map, Mikey, Illi, and Ray.
“The orc is closing in–” Illi teased as he debated.
“Fine!” He agreed, clearly not fully on board.
The orc was getting ready to charge. Thexus used the last of his energy to transform into a grizzly bear, a common sighting on the mountain. Alvalor grabbed the largest rock he could find and whipped it at the orc's knee. Both of them expected it to fall the orc, or at least slow it down, but it kept charging with a limp. Thexus roared. Even as a bear, the orc was still larger than him. He started to hesitate as it got nearer. Another rock hit the orc against the side of its face, and Alvalor cried, “Now!” Thexus steeled himself and slashed the orc across the stomach with his thick, deadly claws. The orc doubled over and dropped his axe as blood began to flow.
“Is that it?” Frank's eyes were wide.
“The orc's down, but it still has about…” Illi rolled a few dice behind her makeshift wall, “twenty-seven HP left,”
“Hit it again!” Mikey rushed.
“You do it! It's not like it's gonna get back up,”
“I don't know,” Illi sang with a suspicious smile
“Ray,” Frank pleaded, “What do I do?”
“Don't ask me, I'm dead,”
“Come on, but if you weren't,”
“If I weren't and I were you, I'd grab his axe and chop his head off,” He said casually, “Both of you have enough strength to wield it– Mikey a bit more so,”
“You know, you're a bit scary when you play this,” Frank side-eyed him
“I'm a bugbear, what can I say?” Ray smiled.
“Okay–” Illi prompted them to get back to the game.
Thexus picked up the orc's axe with his mighty paws and stepped down on its chest. The orc huffed and snarled but didn't remove its hands from its stomach, applying pressure to the bleeding. Thexus raised the axe and prepared himself. And waited. And stalled. Alvalor ran to shove him aside, taking the axe from his hands, and he brought the blade down upon the orc's neck in one fell swoop.
“Hurray!” Ray cheered
“And the final orc is dead!” Illi celebrated, “The remaining two members of the party collect themselves and finish cascading the mountainside, bringing the ancient relic back to its rightful owners in the church. They find hospitality at a nearby inn, collecting themselves and beginning to plan how to resurrect their fallen friend,” She paused, let the scene fade naturally, and then pounced on them for feedback, “So how did you like it?”
“Apart from dying,” Ray started with faux attitude, “It was really good! I liked the ramping up and how you made Frank come out of his shell a bit,”
“I did not like that, actually,” Frank chimed in.
“You'll like it more the more you do it. I promise,” Ray stood from his chair to stretch his legs and squeezed Frank's shoulders as he passed him. Illi packed away her dungeon master materials and headed up to raid the kitchen. She brought down cans of soda for everyone as they were finishing cleaning up.
Mikey and Ray carried the last two kitchen chairs back upstairs as Frank helped Illi tip the table over to fold it away. He carried it and followed her over to the door in the corner of her room that leads out to the driveway, leaning the table against the wall as she unlocked it. The cool night air felt refreshing as they stepped out. Frank took a cigar case out of his back pocket and pulled out a blunt. He lit it and took the first toke, passing it to Illi. She tried to match how deep of a hit Frank took, and she wound up bent over coughing after choking out a cloud of smoke. Frank laughed at her lightly. She passed it back while she settled herself and watched the stars appear and disappear behind the passing clouds.
“The moon’s real bright tonight,” Frank pointed out when he saw Illi looking at the sky, “It’ll be full soon,”
“Tuesday actually… Do you really think the moon cycle affects people’s behavior?”
“Nah,” He said simply, taking another drag. He exhaled and, as the smoke dissipated, Illi motioned for a hit and took one at her own pace. Then another. They stood out there not talking about much, just enjoying each other's company and watching the stars. Eventually, they finished smoking and headed inside. Illi stopped by the door, her purse on the loveseat next to it. She grabbed a few bills out of her wallet and gave them to Frank discreetly despite their lengthy disappearance, and both Mikey and Ray smelling the weed on them.
“Frank, I’m getting ready to head out. Let's get going,” Ray usually gives Frank a ride home after DND nights so he doesn’t wreck his bike. It's not as bad as driving after a sesh, but a broken arm and a chipped tooth proved that it's not without some risk of its own. They said their goodbyes, and Illi and Mikey saw them out.
“So,” Mikey started carefully with a sly side-eye once they were gone, “what could you have possibly gotten from the thrift store that was so bad you had to hide it?”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw the strap of your bag from work under your bed,”
“Why do you care?”
“You're normally excited to share what you get with me. I’m curious,”
“It’s personal. I don’t have to show you everything I bring home,” She got defensive.
“Okay, that's fine. You don't have to show me if you don't want,” Mikey put his hands up and left to his room. Illi locked the door behind her before running down the stairs to grab her things from under her bed. Their dad would be home at midnight. She wanted to make the most of the time she had.
On her bed, she laid a book and a potion. The potion was a shimmering maroon with sunset orange wax sealing it inside an old whiskey bottle. The book was hand-bound and had a deep purple leather cover with swirling designs. A strip of black leather wrapped around the book to hold a lock secure. There was no key attached nor one loose in the bottom of the donation bin Illi got the book out of; she had made sure. She’d figured that she'd picked locks in video games, so she could give it a shot in real life. How much harder could it be? She found a bobby pin and tried to feel her way around inside the lock. She didn’t do much more than wiggle and twist it around for a minute before it luckily clicked open. She took it out of the loop holding it and promptly threw it in the trash. This was the moment she’d been waiting for.
The pages were crisp and yellowed, and everything was handwritten– it had smudges and inkblots in places. She couldn't tell just how old this book was. Her eyes got wider as she flipped through, going faster and faster. She felt she couldn’t stop to read each full page because she just needed to know what else there was.
Double Your Luck
How to Tie Shoelaces with Intention
Romantic Persuasion of the Desired Sex
Curse Removal
Her curiosity could never be satisfied, it felt, but once she was able to tear herself away from the book she turned her attention to the potion. The wax sealing the cork into the bottle dripped down the sides. She ran her thumb over the smoothness of it, and over the raised patterns in the glass. As she turned it over, she saw that instead of a raised design there was a messily engraved number on the bottom, 60. There was no page in the book explaining what the numbers on the potions mean, but it was thick. Taking a guess, Illi counts the pages until she gets to the sixtieth.
Vampire Transformation Spell:
This ceremony must take place under a full moon
Preparing your body— rest, drink plenty, fuel yourself with what you will seek
At the witching hour, add 4 drops of your red devotion to the tonic
In the moonlight, drink the entirety of your creation and absorb the essence of the night
You may only rest when the sky begins to lighten
“Wouldn’t that be something…” Illi whispered to herself. She got a scrap of paper from her desk to mark the page before she continued looking through the book, though she kept coming back to the vampire transformation. Maybe it was the allure of having the means to go through with it, but she couldn’t let it go. After a while of giving the other spells a more thorough read through, Illi heard the door upstairs open and a set of keys jingle into the dish on the counter.
She went upstairs to see her dad. He’s the chief resident at the local hospital. Between long shifts, getting called in, and unexpectedly needing to stay over than what was scheduled, he was at work more often than at home. He said that work went okay and asked about DND and the guys. Her dad always showed an interest in her hobbies, whether he really understood them or not. Mikey came to say goodnight to the both of them, and all three of them got ready for bed.
Illi changed into a pair of grey jogging pants and a white camisole top and got under her covers. She had put the spellbook and the potion in a shoebox under the head of her bed. As she drifted off, she got the strangest feeling that she was sinking, falling. There was a sensation of a drop in her stomach, and she began to struggle to catch her breath, but she couldn't pull herself back to consciousness. She didn't fall into anywhere, though there became a forest around her. The drop in her stomach was replaced with a sense of dread. She could feel eyes on her that weren’t there.
She looked around carefully for hidden figures in the bushes, shadows darting between the trees, but she was utterly alone. There didn’t even seem to be animals in these woods. She called out, not expecting a response, and she was right. With no clear direction, she started out into the woods. Through the foliage overhead, the moonlight shone down to illuminate her way.
As she walked, she heard footsteps, an echo. Each step she took produced two sounds, two thuds in the dirt, two crunches in dead leaves and sticks. But the echo wasn’t even–one step would echo after a second, another later or sooner. And they were getting louder. Louder. Louder! Illi felt her heart beating against her chest, and she started moving faster, trying to get away, but the echo kept pace.
Illi was running frantically through the forest, shouting out for help between panting breaths, when, with a trip on a root, suddenly she was face-first on the ground with a searing pain in her ankle that didn’t matter compared to the dark, solid shadow looming over her. She couldn’t breathe, much less shout. She froze beneath the figure. She couldn’t discern a face or any features, but a hand of sorts reached out and shoved itself through her into her chest cavity. It was ice cold and froze her entire body. She felt a tightening around her heart, and a voice seemingly coming from inside her own head said: “You know what you need to do”.
She realized that she did know what she needed to do. This figure wasn’t real. She frantically waved away the wispy shadows and scrambled to up herself off the ground and keep running. The feeling of constriction around her heart never released, but it could still help her escape just the same. She looked behind her as she ran to see the shadow forming itself again, but once again, she was falling. Below her, she saw jagged rocks, and she twisted to see above her the edge of a cliff. She knew it was over. She closed her eyes and prayed to go quickly. She felt a painful impact on her back, but she was able to open her eyes.
Illi bolted upright in her bed and realized she had been yelling. She heard her door unlock and her dad come down as she tried to slow her breathing. She looked over as he gave her a sad smile and turned on the lamp on her dresser.
“Hey, honey,” he rolled the desk chair over to her bed and sat down close to her, “What’s going on? You haven’t had one like this in a while,”
“I’m okay,” Illi wiped away tears and took a deep breath to steady herself, “I think it's just ‘cause work’s been really hard lately. I’m just more stressed right now,”
“Yeah, work can be stressful,” He agreed, “If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here for you. Are you still looking for any jobs with your art?”
“I don’t know… Sometimes I think I’m not good enough to make it,”
“We don’t get to decide what other people think. You never know what they might decide if you never try,”
“I guess…”
“I’m gonna go get you a glass of water and some meds,” He softly said, holding and squeezing her hand before getting up. She did some breathing and took a stuffed bear from the side of her bed into a hug. Her dad came back with the water and pills and sat with her a minute longer after she took them to make sure she was okay. Once she let him leave, he gave her a kiss on the forehead and asked to turn off the lamp. The medicine helped her sleep somewhat peacefully until her alarm so rudely woke her.
Mikey was up getting ready for work, so she made a pot of coffee while she waited for the bathroom. Sun came through the window and cast rainbows on the linoleum floor. The warm smell filled the kitchen and woke her further. Mikey left the bathroom before she could make herself a cup, so she got herself ready while it finished. She looked herself in the eye in the mirror as she finished shaving her face. Dead, her eyes always looked dead when she knew she had to go to work. But she still made herself go in every day. So back downstairs she went to get herself dressed, she made her coffee in a thermos to take with her, and she got in her car.
“Chip Miller here, bringing you all the hits you love on this lovely Saturday, September first, only on 103.7. Next up, we’ve got–”
Illi never sped on her way to work; she was one of the people she complained about going five or ten miles under the posted speed limit, and she knew it. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket as she was getting close. Once she parked, she checked it. Her boss was starting on her before she had even gotten there. She still had five minutes to clock in, but he was messaging her in caps lock about how she should be there already. She was looking at her coworker on the same shift and same station, standing outside smoking, not working. He wasn't getting yelled at. If he had time to smoke a cigarette, so did she. She cracked her window and took the carton from her purse, smacking it against the heel of her hand a few times before she lit one.
It wasn’t just her boss making her miserable at work or in her life. She couldn’t take it anymore. She knew what she needed to do.
Based on the song Vampires Will Never Hurt You: what will life look life after turning to vampirism for power and strength? How far will everyone have to go and how much will have to be sacrificed to maintain normalcy, if they even can?
Words: 4,493 | Warnings : marijuana and cigarette use, nightmares | ao3 in reblog
“103.7, Classic Hits. The hits you love, all the time. Coming up next–”
Illi blinked rapidly and adjusted her grip on her steering wheel as she realized she hadn’t been focusing on the road. The radio DJ was louder than the songs, so it jolted her back to attention. There never was as much traffic after sundown; she was almost home already. The neighbor was pulling out from their driveway as she pulled up to hers, and they each waved politely as they passed. Mikey's car was already parked in the driveway, and Illi pulled in behind him. She didn't get out, not yet. Leaned back, watching the trees sway in the breeze through the sunroof and taking long, deep breaths melted the weight of the workday off of her. She stayed until the song on the radio ended and the DJ came back on. Then, finally, she grabbed her purse from the passenger seat and a reusable bag from the car floor and headed inside.
“I’m home!” she yelled as she hung up her jacket. Mikey wasn’t in the kitchen, so she assumed he was in his room. “Have you heard from Ray or Frank?”
“Not yet,” Mikey called. He came into the kitchen and sat at the dining table. “How was work?”
“It was work,” she grumbled. Illi asked, “How was work and school for you?”
“Bloody great,” Illi rolled her eyes at him, “No, I had someone faint on me, always fun. But he was AB-positive, so that was cool. What’d you get from work today?” He pointed to Illi’s extra bag, “Anything fun?”
“No, not really. Hey, uh, why don’t you text them and see where they are, and I’ll go clean and get set up?”
“Sure. Let me know if you need any help,”
Illi went down to the basement, her room. Older sibling privileges meant she got the larger space. She tossed her purse onto the loveseat and shoved her bag from work under the bed. Her room hadn’t been properly clean in years, but she made an attempt by throwing some of the dirty laundry on the floor into the hamper and straightening the covers on her bed. She kept a folding table in her closet for their Dungeons and Dragons nights; she got it set up and recruited Mikey’s help in bringing down the dining table chairs for around it. He grabbed a few dirty dishes from Illi’s nightstand and brought them up to the kitchen as he left while she finished setting up their scene. It was the last day of August– the last day of every month is one of their DND nights, along with the fifteenth. It had become a ritual of sorts for the four of them. Everyone always requested off of work or a morning shift. Rain or shine, they would come and, at least for an evening, spend time together to run their campaign. It had been that way for years, and it could be counted on one hand how many sessions had been missed.
Illi heard talking in the kitchen— one of the guys must have arrived. Everything was set up just how they had ended it last session. The door to the top of the steps opened, and Mikey was talking to whoever was there. Illi could tell from the footsteps coming down the stairs that it was Ray; Frank practically stomps. Ray came over to check out the scene Illi had laid out, complimented how she had repainted some of the monster miniatures, and hugged her hello. Frank didn’t bother to ring the doorbell, he just welcomed himself into the house and came down into Illi’s room with the rest of them. He’d been over enough to feel at home, but Illi gets jumpy having someone simply appear in her house.
They gathered around the table, and at the end of it, Illi sat behind a small partition. She had laid out in front of her the plans for this section of the campaign, copies of character sheets with stats and abilities, lists of spells, attacks and what damages they do, cups of dice, everything one might need to reference.
“So what are we up against this time?” Frank asked, shaking the table as he bounced his leg. Ray held the table down.
“You’ll find out,” She almost giggled.
“I don’t like that smile,” Ray piped up, “That always means that we’re gonna get our asses handed to us,”
The plot of the campaign had a deceptive exposition. They fought monsters that were almost easy, found valuable items with little challenge and completed their primary quest with little resistance. It started to get suspicious right as Illi started ramping up the pressure. The group was traveling through the mountains when they were ambushed in a valley by a group of high-level orcs. They had little time to organize themselves before the orcs attacked. Mikey’s character was a half-elf paladin, Alvalor, the party’s defender. He would take on the front line and the brunt of the damage. Frank played a tiefling druid as the healer, Thexus. He would stay back and keep Alvalor’s health up while Hror, Ray’s bugbear barbarian, dealt their strongest attacks.
They got their characters into position and felt confident in their plan. That is, until the orcs made their first hit and wiped out two-thirds of their paladin’s health points with a single blow. They all knew they were screwed, but they couldn’t give up. Thexus made quick work of healing Alvalor, and Hror landed a successful hit with his battleaxe. It didn’t do as much as any of them hoped, but the first offensive attack had been made. The cycle continued for a moment– tanking, healing, attacking– but the healer can only output so much before he has to recharge.
“Do you need any potions?” Frank pressed.
“I have three,” Mikey answered, but tense.
“We’ve barely killed one orc! How many are left?” Ray looked to Illi desperately.
“Four,” she said with a serious smirk.
Alvalor used his first potion, and Hror quickened his pace with the large attacks. They narrowly downed another orc by the time their healer had recharged. Thexus stepped up just in time, restoring each of them as much as he could, but it was for nothing. A critical hit had landed on their defender, and he was nearly gone. He used another potion quickly, not waiting for Thexus or wanting him to drain himself again so soon. As Alvalor recovered, Hror readied himself, and Thexus prepared to attack as well. Saving his special energy to aid the others, he grabbed his sling. The path of the valley was littered with fist-sized rocks he could fire.
The three of them planned that Alvalor would bash the charging orc with his shield, Thexus would blind it by launching two large rocks at its eyes, and Hror would land the final blow, killing the third orc in one coordinated motion. Alvalor ran up to topple the orc and was met with a mace to his shield. It dealt a significant amount of damage, but his worry was on his mission. He got back up to execute the plan. Hror called for him to retreat so he could be healed, but he fought on. The orc came at him again, but he was ready; he was faster. He shoved against the orc with all his might, and it fell to the ground. He called to Thexus, who was at the ready, and the first stone landed square in the orc's left eye. The orc stumbled to get up, blood seeping through its fingers as it held its wound, and another rock pelted it in the temple. Hror jumped on it, knocking it back to the ground, swinging his axe again and again. Alvalor called out to Hror to stop, that it was dead. Thexus pulled Hror away and back to check on Alvalor. To take the final potion or not was the party’s question.
“There’s only one left,” Mikey started. Ray decided quickly.
“You should sit-”
“I should take my final hit,” Mikey interrupted. Frank loudly disagreed. “Let me slow it down, Hror, you finish it off, and Thexus, you focus your support on him,”
“How is that fair?” Frank practically shouted, “One for all and all for one– We can’t just sacrifice you!”
“Well, it’s not like you can’t reincarnate me in our next session,”
“That's a good idea, actually,” Illi perked up, grabbed a pen, flipped to a fresh page in her notebook behind the divider, and started writing furiously.
“This doesn’t need any encouragement!” Ray told her.
“Why not?” Mikey asked, “What’s your better idea, since you’re shitting on mine, hm?” They sat in silence as neither of them could come up with a better plan, "That's what I thought. So, Hror, you take my potion, I’ll go back to the front lines, and let's finish this!”
With Mikey’s encouragement, they got back into place. Alvalor was face-to-face with the final orc, taller and broader than the rest. He was prepared to meet his maker. Readying his shield and his nerves, he let out a battle cry and charged into combat. But the orc never struck him. Instead, it charged past him to attack Hror. One, two blows and Hror was gone.
“What the hell was that?” Frank looked to Illi in horror.
“A twist,” She said innocently.
“You'd better have fresh character sheets for our new campaign. I don’t have any,” Ray sat back in his chair, eyebrows raised in a huff.
“Come on,” She drawled out, “It’s not over yet! Thexus has half his energy! And before you ask, no, I'm not changing the rules. Inventories still disappear after you die. I’m not letting you loot Hror’s body for that potion. That was a good idea, though sharing items with each other,” She leaned in towards the group for emphasis.
“Well, what are we gonna do now?” Mikey wondered. After a moment, he looked to Frank, who was biting his lip ring. “You’re gonna have to attack,”
“What?” He jumped, “But what if you need backup?”
“What if I’m the backup?”
“You’re not a healer, though?” Ray pointed out, confused.
“I know, but a different kind of backup. What if we all swapped roles? Hror, you did your best defending yourself, the orc was just too strong. That was you taking on my role in a way. Thexus, when was the last time you used your Wild Shape for anything this important? You always prioritize the rest of the party's needs over taking the reins. We all appreciate that, don’t get me wrong,” Ray nodded in agreement, “but sometimes it's nice to be a part of the action. And I can't right now. So like Illi said, let’s share items. Give me your sling. I’ll knock it down, you finish it off,” Frank sat and thought about it for a moment, looking between the miniatures on their map, Mikey, Illi, and Ray.
“The orc is closing in–” Illi teased as he debated.
“Fine!” He agreed, clearly not fully on board.
The orc was getting ready to charge. Thexus used the last of his energy to transform into a grizzly bear, a common sighting on the mountain. Alvalor grabbed the largest rock he could find and whipped it at the orc's knee. Both of them expected it to fall the orc, or at least slow it down, but it kept charging with a limp. Thexus roared. Even as a bear, the orc was still larger than him. He started to hesitate as it got nearer. Another rock hit the orc against the side of its face, and Alvalor cried, “Now!” Thexus steeled himself and slashed the orc across the stomach with his thick, deadly claws. The orc doubled over and dropped his axe as blood began to flow.
“Is that it?” Frank's eyes were wide.
“The orc's down, but it still has about…” Illi rolled a few dice behind her makeshift wall, “twenty-seven HP left,”
“Hit it again!” Mikey rushed.
“You do it! It's not like it's gonna get back up,”
“I don't know,” Illi sang with a suspicious smile
“Ray,” Frank pleaded, “What do I do?”
“Don't ask me, I'm dead,”
“Come on, but if you weren't,”
“If I weren't and I were you, I'd grab his axe and chop his head off,” He said casually, “Both of you have enough strength to wield it– Mikey a bit more so,”
“You know, you're a bit scary when you play this,” Frank side-eyed him
“I'm a bugbear, what can I say?” Ray smiled.
“Okay–” Illi prompted them to get back to the game.
Thexus picked up the orc's axe with his mighty paws and stepped down on its chest. The orc huffed and snarled but didn't remove its hands from its stomach, applying pressure to the bleeding. Thexus raised the axe and prepared himself. And waited. And stalled. Alvalor ran to shove him aside, taking the axe from his hands, and he brought the blade down upon the orc's neck in one fell swoop.
“Hurray!” Ray cheered
“And the final orc is dead!” Illi celebrated, “The remaining two members of the party collect themselves and finish cascading the mountainside, bringing the ancient relic back to its rightful owners in the church. They find hospitality at a nearby inn, collecting themselves and beginning to plan how to resurrect their fallen friend,” She paused, let the scene fade naturally, and then pounced on them for feedback, “So how did you like it?”
“Apart from dying,” Ray started with faux attitude, “It was really good! I liked the ramping up and how you made Frank come out of his shell a bit,”
“I did not like that, actually,” Frank chimed in.
“You'll like it more the more you do it. I promise,” Ray stood from his chair to stretch his legs and squeezed Frank's shoulders as he passed him. Illi packed away her dungeon master materials and headed up to raid the kitchen. She brought down cans of soda for everyone as they were finishing cleaning up.
Mikey and Ray carried the last two kitchen chairs back upstairs as Frank helped Illi tip the table over to fold it away. He carried it and followed her over to the door in the corner of her room that leads out to the driveway, leaning the table against the wall as she unlocked it. The cool night air felt refreshing as they stepped out. Frank took a cigar case out of his back pocket and pulled out a blunt. He lit it and took the first toke, passing it to Illi. She tried to match how deep of a hit Frank took, and she wound up bent over coughing after choking out a cloud of smoke. Frank laughed at her lightly. She passed it back while she settled herself and watched the stars appear and disappear behind the passing clouds.
“The moon’s real bright tonight,” Frank pointed out when he saw Illi looking at the sky, “It’ll be full soon,”
“Tuesday actually… Do you really think the moon cycle affects people’s behavior?”
“Nah,” He said simply, taking another drag. He exhaled and, as the smoke dissipated, Illi motioned for a hit and took one at her own pace. Then another. They stood out there not talking about much, just enjoying each other's company and watching the stars. Eventually, they finished smoking and headed inside. Illi stopped by the door, her purse on the loveseat next to it. She grabbed a few bills out of her wallet and gave them to Frank discreetly despite their lengthy disappearance, and both Mikey and Ray smelling the weed on them.
“Frank, I’m getting ready to head out. Let's get going,” Ray usually gives Frank a ride home after DND nights so he doesn’t wreck his bike. It's not as bad as driving after a sesh, but a broken arm and a chipped tooth proved that it's not without some risk of its own. They said their goodbyes, and Illi and Mikey saw them out.
“So,” Mikey started carefully with a sly side-eye once they were gone, “what could you have possibly gotten from the thrift store that was so bad you had to hide it?”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw the strap of your bag from work under your bed,”
“Why do you care?”
“You're normally excited to share what you get with me. I’m curious,”
“It’s personal. I don’t have to show you everything I bring home,” She got defensive.
“Okay, that's fine. You don't have to show me if you don't want,” Mikey put his hands up and left to his room. Illi locked the door behind her before running down the stairs to grab her things from under her bed. Their dad would be home at midnight. She wanted to make the most of the time she had.
On her bed, she laid a book and a potion. The potion was a shimmering maroon with sunset orange wax sealing it inside an old whiskey bottle. The book was hand-bound and had a deep purple leather cover with swirling designs. A strip of black leather wrapped around the book to hold a lock secure. There was no key attached nor one loose in the bottom of the donation bin Illi got the book out of; she had made sure. She’d figured that she'd picked locks in video games, so she could give it a shot in real life. How much harder could it be? She found a bobby pin and tried to feel her way around inside the lock. She didn’t do much more than wiggle and twist it around for a minute before it luckily clicked open. She took it out of the loop holding it and promptly threw it in the trash. This was the moment she’d been waiting for.
The pages were crisp and yellowed, and everything was handwritten– it had smudges and inkblots in places. She couldn't tell just how old this book was. Her eyes got wider as she flipped through, going faster and faster. She felt she couldn’t stop to read each full page because she just needed to know what else there was.
Double Your Luck
How to Tie Shoelaces with Intention
Romantic Persuasion of the Desired Sex
Curse Removal
Her curiosity could never be satisfied, it felt, but once she was able to tear herself away from the book she turned her attention to the potion. The wax sealing the cork into the bottle dripped down the sides. She ran her thumb over the smoothness of it, and over the raised patterns in the glass. As she turned it over, she saw that instead of a raised design there was a messily engraved number on the bottom, 60. There was no page in the book explaining what the numbers on the potions mean, but it was thick. Taking a guess, Illi counts the pages until she gets to the sixtieth.
Vampire Transformation Spell:
This ceremony must take place under a full moon
Preparing your body— rest, drink plenty, fuel yourself with what you will seek
At the witching hour, add 4 drops of your red devotion to the tonic
In the moonlight, drink the entirety of your creation and absorb the essence of the night
You may only rest when the sky begins to lighten
“Wouldn’t that be something…” Illi whispered to herself. She got a scrap of paper from her desk to mark the page before she continued looking through the book, though she kept coming back to the vampire transformation. Maybe it was the allure of having the means to go through with it, but she couldn’t let it go. After a while of giving the other spells a more thorough read through, Illi heard the door upstairs open and a set of keys jingle into the dish on the counter.
She went upstairs to see her dad. He’s the chief resident at the local hospital. Between long shifts, getting called in, and unexpectedly needing to stay over than what was scheduled, he was at work more often than at home. He said that work went okay and asked about DND and the guys. Her dad always showed an interest in her hobbies, whether he really understood them or not. Mikey came to say goodnight to the both of them, and all three of them got ready for bed.
Illi changed into a pair of grey jogging pants and a white camisole top and got under her covers. She had put the spellbook and the potion in a shoebox under the head of her bed. As she drifted off, she got the strangest feeling that she was sinking, falling. There was a sensation of a drop in her stomach, and she began to struggle to catch her breath, but she couldn't pull herself back to consciousness. She didn't fall into anywhere, though there became a forest around her. The drop in her stomach was replaced with a sense of dread. She could feel eyes on her that weren’t there.
She looked around carefully for hidden figures in the bushes, shadows darting between the trees, but she was utterly alone. There didn’t even seem to be animals in these woods. She called out, not expecting a response, and she was right. With no clear direction, she started out into the woods. Through the foliage overhead, the moonlight shone down to illuminate her way.
As she walked, she heard footsteps, an echo. Each step she took produced two sounds, two thuds in the dirt, two crunches in dead leaves and sticks. But the echo wasn’t even–one step would echo after a second, another later or sooner. And they were getting louder. Louder. Louder! Illi felt her heart beating against her chest, and she started moving faster, trying to get away, but the echo kept pace.
Illi was running frantically through the forest, shouting out for help between panting breaths, when, with a trip on a root, suddenly she was face-first on the ground with a searing pain in her ankle that didn’t matter compared to the dark, solid shadow looming over her. She couldn’t breathe, much less shout. She froze beneath the figure. She couldn’t discern a face or any features, but a hand of sorts reached out and shoved itself through her into her chest cavity. It was ice cold and froze her entire body. She felt a tightening around her heart, and a voice seemingly coming from inside her own head said: “You know what you need to do”.
She realized that she did know what she needed to do. This figure wasn’t real. She frantically waved away the wispy shadows and scrambled to up herself off the ground and keep running. The feeling of constriction around her heart never released, but it could still help her escape just the same. She looked behind her as she ran to see the shadow forming itself again, but once again, she was falling. Below her, she saw jagged rocks, and she twisted to see above her the edge of a cliff. She knew it was over. She closed her eyes and prayed to go quickly. She felt a painful impact on her back, but she was able to open her eyes.
Illi bolted upright in her bed and realized she had been yelling. She heard her door unlock and her dad come down as she tried to slow her breathing. She looked over as he gave her a sad smile and turned on the lamp on her dresser.
“Hey, honey,” he rolled the desk chair over to her bed and sat down close to her, “What’s going on? You haven’t had one like this in a while,”
“I’m okay,” Illi wiped away tears and took a deep breath to steady herself, “I think it's just ‘cause work’s been really hard lately. I’m just more stressed right now,”
“Yeah, work can be stressful,” He agreed, “If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here for you. Are you still looking for any jobs with your art?”
“I don’t know… Sometimes I think I’m not good enough to make it,”
“We don’t get to decide what other people think. You never know what they might decide if you never try,”
“I guess…”
“I’m gonna go get you a glass of water and some meds,” He softly said, holding and squeezing her hand before getting up. She did some breathing and took a stuffed bear from the side of her bed into a hug. Her dad came back with the water and pills and sat with her a minute longer after she took them to make sure she was okay. Once she let him leave, he gave her a kiss on the forehead and asked to turn off the lamp. The medicine helped her sleep somewhat peacefully until her alarm so rudely woke her.
Mikey was up getting ready for work, so she made a pot of coffee while she waited for the bathroom. Sun came through the window and cast rainbows on the linoleum floor. The warm smell filled the kitchen and woke her further. Mikey left the bathroom before she could make herself a cup, so she got herself ready while it finished. She looked herself in the eye in the mirror as she finished shaving her face. Dead, her eyes always looked dead when she knew she had to go to work. But she still made herself go in every day. So back downstairs she went to get herself dressed, she made her coffee in a thermos to take with her, and she got in her car.
“Chip Miller here, bringing you all the hits you love on this lovely Saturday, September first, only on 103.7. Next up, we’ve got–”
Illi never sped on her way to work; she was one of the people she complained about going five or ten miles under the posted speed limit, and she knew it. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket as she was getting close. Once she parked, she checked it. Her boss was starting on her before she had even gotten there. She still had five minutes to clock in, but he was messaging her in caps lock about how she should be there already. She was looking at her coworker on the same shift and same station, standing outside smoking, not working. He wasn't getting yelled at. If he had time to smoke a cigarette, so did she. She cracked her window and took the carton from her purse, smacking it against the heel of her hand a few times before she lit one.
It wasn’t just her boss making her miserable at work or in her life. She couldn’t take it anymore. She knew what she needed to do.
