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personal favourite — countryside romance [kim minji]

ongoing — danielle marsh: a thread [mo danielle]

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dividers by @cafekitsune

[yerimbrit]

[an's christmas pop-up shop! day 3, wc: 1.2k] - bear hugs are perfect for winter : k. minji

staff on duty: kim minji special menu: bear hugs are perfect for winter desc: so maybe you're the type of couple that's mushy and buys extra gifts for each other separate from the friend group's gift exchange. so what? the crackling fireplace in the lodge you and your friends are staying at provides cozy warmth, but perhaps a back hug from a human bear would provide more comfort as you unwrap these special gifts. tags: established relationship, fluff, disgusting fluff, midnight christmas present exchange, u and the girls have ur exchange on xmas day and ur all staying at a winter lodge for xmas, tripleS sohyun and xinyu cameo god what is wrong with me, nonidol!minji x reader

“MERRY CHRISTMAS, sweetheart.”

warm, strong arms wrap around your waist, and minji rests her chin on your shoulder from behind. you’re currently fixing a cup of tea for the both of you in the spacious kitchen of the winter lodge.

the lodge is great—it has six rooms, though only four are being used (you and minji sharing one, and danielle and haerin sharing another, and the other two occupied by hanni and hyein). there’s three bathrooms, a game room with ping pong and billiards, an outdoor deck with a bonfire, and an amazing living room with a huge tv and fireplace, topped with a breathtaking view of the snowy mountains and nearby town.

now, by the sound of it, how could your friend group, none of you out of college by the way and even one still in high school, even afford this space of luxury? well, it’s all thanks to one zhou xinyu, of course. this year, she decided to take her longtime girlfriend sohyun back to beijing with her to meet her family.

good for them! and good for you. she let you take your friends to her multimillionaire mansion. see, it’s good to make friends. not for their money, of course, but you’re very lucky xinyu has a heart of gold and also stacks of actual gold.

back to the matter at hand.

“it’s still 11:30, ‘ji,” you say, but melting in her embrace all the same. you try to move, because you think you’ve steeped the tea leaves for long enough, but minji’s full-on bear hug prevents you from going too far. “‘ji, i need to take the leaves out of the brewer.”

she whines, because of course she does—minji is a clingy puppybear golden retriever girlfriend at regular hours, but past 11:30 at night is when her affection really kicks in.

you try to move one more time and she finally gives it up despite pouting at you the whole time.

when you finish, you bring your steaming mug over to the living room table, and both you and minji go to your room to fetch something out of your bags.

see, every year since you’ve been dating, you buy each other a gift, an extra one alongside the ones you exchange with the whole group. it’s not necessary, but the first year was completely coincidental, and you’ve decided to continue the tradition up until now. you'll exchange the first round of gifts in private, and on christmas day you'll exchange the second round of gifts, with everyone else as well.

last year, you gave minji a new perfume, one she said reminded her of “the positive side of life,” whatever that means… and she gave you a necklace she made herself and a few new books you mentioned wanting before. needless to say, you think you’ve upgraded for this year.

the fireplace is crackling, irregular and uneven but still comforting, and, well, you don’t know. you feel warm because of the fire, because of the festive and jolly mood this trip has brought you, and because you have minji with you.

you present your wrapped gift to the taller girl. “merry christmas, minji.”

she raises a brow at you, but takes the gift nonetheless. “i thought it’s,” she checks her phone, “only 11:40.”

“oh shut up,” you roll your eyes, sitting down next to her and nudging her shoulder. “open it!”

“alright, alright!” she acquiesces, beginning to carefully unstick the tape and unwrap the teddy bear patterned paper. eventually it gets too tedious and she just starts ripping it off, and you giggle at her impatience.

revealed is a handwritten letter and a lego model train, a specific one she mentioned to you a few months ago—she’d always wanted it as a kid, but she was never able to get it; it’s quite an expensive one.

minji gasps and immediately you find yourself wrapped in another bear hug, only this time with kisses being peppered all over your face. it’s so ticklish, you end up laughing and just barely managing to push her away.

“y/n, you didn’t,” minji says in awe and disbelief, lifting the lego box and admiring it. “thank you so much, i really… i love you, y/nnie.”

seeing her thank you so earnestly makes you smile. you’re glad she likes it—it took you forever to find a good deal for the retired set, and you were also worried it wasn’t the right one. “i love you too, ‘ji.”

she’s grinning so hard you’re sure her cheeks are hurting, and you just have to laugh and shake your head. she sets the box aside after admiring it for a bit longer, and sets the letter aside to read later, and then grabs her gift for you.

minji points at the space between her legs, urging you to sit, and you smile before settling in as she hugs you tightly from behind. “what did you get me?”

“open it and find out, snoozer,” she says into the back of your neck. you feel it heat up and you’re embarrassed to admit whether it’s because of the fire or because of her.

you huff, “don’t call me that, i’m your girlfriend. who even says snoozer?”

the gift is pretty light, and it's barely making any noise when you shake it, so you go ahead and just rip the wrapping paper off. it doesn’t take that much effort—minji’s terrible at wrapping presents, anyway, because you can see a crazy portion of the cardboard box and she used artist tape to seal it.

inside are two additional tissue wrapped items, and you take a glance back at minji, who's eagerly awaiting your reaction, before taking the one labeled with ‘1’ and opening it.

“a scarf?” you smile, picking it up and unraveling it. there's a tag on it that has both of your initials stitched onto, and the scarf itself is in the shades of your favorite color. “minji, did you…?”

minji smiles, the corners of her lips curling up in pride. “i made it myself. do you like it?”

“no, i don't,” you watch her face fall before giggling, “i love it, ji! i lost my old scarf, you remembered?”

minji digs her nose into your shoulder. “of course i do. it was your favorite one, we looked for it for hours.”

you turn around just enough to kiss her cheek and turn back fast enough before she chased your lips. “thank you, minji, i love you. what's the other one?”

it doesn't get a response out of her, so you pick it up and unwrap it without further delay. it's green, has a red ribbon, and—

oh my god, your girlfriend is a loser.

“you can't be serious,” you pinch the ends with your fingers, holding it up to your face.

minji lets out a hearty laugh and turns you around, your legs now bracketing hers. you raise your brows, watching her lift your arm so that it's now hanging above you.

“isn't this a western thing?” is all you’re able to say before minji pulls you in and kisses you.

at the same time, fireworks go off outside.

a/n : MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! that's a wrap for an's christmas pop-up shop, i hope you guys enjoyed 🥹🥹 have the best day ever ily guys

[nwjnsloona]

SO CUTE 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[yerimbrit]

[an's christmas pop-up shop! day 2, wc: 1.1k] - a swan on ice : j. suhyeon

staff on duty: ji suhyeon/jiyeon ! ≽^•⩊•^≼ special menu: a swan on ice desc: ballerinas are known to be elegant, graceful, and poised—much like a swan. but have you ever wondered how they fare on ice? the downtown skating rink is open on christmas eve, so let's see how the ballerina's ice skating skills compare to your figure skating skills! tags: implied friends to lovers, fluff, ice skating, i have never written for jiyeon before so this will be a learning experience, nonidol!au, please excuse the shitty banner it will probably be more shitty tomorrow i'm sorry

WAS THIS A bad idea? you think to yourself as you watch your best friend wobble on the ice.

“you’ve barely even taken a step inside the rink, jiyeon-ah,” you smoothly skate over, laughing.

as soon as you get close, she clutches onto you, making you yelp. jiyeon groans. “cut me some slack, y/n… it’s been ages since i’ve skated.”

you grin, guiding her to the rail. “i know, i know. i just thought that nothing could get in the way of a ballerina and her grace.”

“hey, that’s on land, not on ice!” jiyeon widens her eyes madly, sending chills down your spine. you shudder. did they turn down the temperature in here?

you’ve been skating since as far as you could remember. dozens of trophies for figure skating competitions line the shelves in your room, and right now you’re donning your custom-made ice skates—all white, with a pink heart on the ankles of both of the boots. the ice rink has become your second home, and jiyeon… she’s become your third home.

she doesn’t know that, though. you can only hope she feels the same. 

jiyeon’s the same too—just in ballet. she’s been doing it way before you met her in high school, and the two of you are still practicing and excelling in your respective fields through university life. 

“well,” you start, offering your hand to her, “you just need to warm up a bit. it’s been a while since we skated together, after all.”

some kid speeds dangerously close to you, and jiyeon flinches. she squints her eyes at the boy zooming laps around the rink, and without further delay, takes your hand. 

the downtown indoor skating rink is especially busy today, what with it being christmas eve. some families are here for a last-minute holiday celebration, friend groups are crowding the rails, and there are a freakish amount of couples on the ice. it almost makes you feel lonely. 

jiyeon squeezes your hand, bringing your attention back to her. an easy smile comes onto your face.

no need for a girlfriend. you have jiyeon, and she’s more than enough for you. 

you gently tug her toward you and begin to skate around the rink at a slow and steady pace. 

hand-in-hand, the two of you go a full lap around the rink, weaving through loose kids and around mushy lovey dovey couples who’ve stopped to flirt in the middle of the ice. jiyeon’s laser-focused on trying not to look at her feet, instead looking ahead. like riding a bike. cute, you giggle, but it’s getting too boring.

once you pass the main entrance to the rink, you decide to push off a little harder on the ice, effectively speeding both of you up by a substantial amount. jiyeon immediately squeezes your hand extra tight, and you hide a wince in favor of grinning evilly. the other woman struggles to keep up, but eventually steadies. “yah, kim y/n, are you crazy?!”

“calm down, jiyeonnie, you’re getting the hang of it, see?” you glance at her, then maneuver around two girls filming a tiktok. “just let yourself relax.”

she takes a breath and gradually keeps up with you, smiling in pride when the two of you are sharing in sync, gliding around the rink in such coordination. 

so pretty.

“what?” jiyeon turns her head to look at you, breaking her focus and stumbling on her next step. 

you instinctively wrap your arm around her waist, skidding to a stop. widening your eyes, you let go of your grip to check if she's injured anywhere on her body. “are you okay?!”

your best friend is just as shocked as you are, her mouth slightly agape when you finally stop and look into her eyes in concern. “yes, i’m fine. i just… i think you accidentally said that out loud?”

you furrow your brows. “said what out loud?”

“‘so pretty,’ you said that while we were skating,” she elaborates, causing your cheeks to flush from your cheeks to the tips of your ears.

you said that out loud?!

unfortunately, there’s no point in lying, so it’s better to be upfront with it.  “ah… i guess i did. can’t help it, ji, your beauty transcends that of goddesses!”

please don’t be awkward, please don’t be awkward, please don’t be awkward.

to your luck and surprise, jiyeon just giggles, and you swear you see a faint blush on her cheeks. “aren’t you a flirting master today?”

you smile and start leading her to the wall. it’d be good for a break right about now, anyway. “what else can i do when i’m charmed by a pretty girl?”

see, friends flirt with each other for fun—it’s normal! except it’s not really for fun in your case. god damn it. you reach over and pat her hip before skating off to the middle of the rink, where thankfully a big enough area has been cleared.

circle around, gain speed, and… jump! one… two… three rotations, land with a flourish and wink in jiyeon’s direction. you linger just enough to catch the wide grin on her face, and smile to yourself as you skate around the center of the rink again, some of the surrounding people clapping for you.

laughing, you do a couple more spins and tricks before returning to jiyeon’s side. in the midst of your mini-showcase, you’d garnered quite the audience, and so they’re still cheering and clapping for you as you skate back to the wall. 

jiyeon doesn’t say anything while you catch your breath, but she does stare at you. with stars in her eyes, a soft smile on her lips, a hand gripping the rail she’s leaning on. 

you tilt your head once your breathing returns to normal. “what?”

the other girl shakes her head. “nothing. you’re beautiful.”

“what the?” your cheeks burn, “hey, take me out for dinner first, won’t you?”

expecting a joking response, or dodging the topic—which is almost never the case, because jiyeon cannot keep a secret for the life of her—you let out a sigh and direct your gaze up at the large overhead fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling.

“okay, let’s go after this, then. and i’ll take you out for a christmas date, too.”

you snap your head back at jiyeon. “excuse me?”

but before anything else, she’s already taken your hand and has started skating off to the exit effortlessly. with grace. like a swan, but on ice.

she pauses right outside the gate. “we’re going on a date. okay?”

“ah? i, wha—” you stammer, “okay…?”

it turns out your feelings are reciprocated?

a/n : y'all i rlly should've prewrote these bc i keep having to stay up until like 3 to actually finish them LOL pls love tripleS and happy christmas eve! i want to say tmr's will be posted on time but it probably won't... we'll see

[yerimbrit]

i saw a ghost! with MC kkura : m. sakura

synopsis: miyawaki sakura didn't believe in ghosts. but she did believe in friendship—that was why she was sneaking into her old highschool with her friends. but then she gets ditched by the two in the "haunted" unused art room, meeting the resident ghost: you.

# : pairing ! nonidol!miyawaki sakura x ghost!reader

# : tags ! fem!reader, sakura's a second year in college, the other two are freshmen, crack, angst, fluff, contains an uncanny amount of video game mentions, red velvet seulgi cameo, i will personally make it my mission to enforce the luvie sakura agenda in every fic she's mentioned, switches between 2nd and 3rd person sometimes

# : wordcount ! 9.5k

# : warnings ! mentions of suicide, mentions of blood, there's a satanic ritual at the end(?), explores some themes of grief, do not try this at home i made it all up

sakura was a firm non-believer of ghosts.

she thought people who claimed to have seen one were stupid, and were just looking for attention or views or whatever. no, yujin, you did not see a ghost in the corner of your room, because you just came back from the last day of your soccer tournament and you were playing for all three games. obviously your fatigue-clouded, sleep-deprived ass would hallucinate.

"i swear i saw it," her friends would say.

"and i swear you had three exams to study for on that same night," sakura would reply. "ghosts aren't real."

that was precisely what she had told yunjin and chaewon. nevertheless, the two idiots dragged her to the highschool that sakura thought she wouldn't ever have to see again.

she was pushed by yunjin, towards the gate that acted as the first obstacle they'd have to overcome in order to even reach the supposedly haunted room. "unnie, you go first!"

sakura whined, shoving the taller girl in front of her. she didn't believe in ghosts, but the school was still creepy at 3am on the weekend. "we have to jump the gate, you're taller so you should go first!"

yunjin was always the more athletic of the three, followed by chaewon and then sakura. it was times like these where sakura wished she spent a little more time out of her room, and not playing league or overwatch. loser games, as chaewon called them. she only said that because she was bad at them, though.

"but you're the oldest," chaewon added.

sakura was, once again, pushed towards the intimidating black-barred gate. who even used these kinds of gates anyway? it's like, 2024, everyone's went to ring alarm systems and upgraded security systems.

the japanese sighed. she could've been doing anything other than sneaking into a highschool after midnight, like finishing her third playthrough of resident evil 2 or getting her five star island rating in animal crossing. "yunjin, help me out here. you're the tallest, so you should give me and chae a boost, at least."

without warning, she was lifted into the air by the american, causing her to let out a yelp. "damn it, yunjin! i said give me a boost, not give me a death hug!"

"just hurry up and climb the gate!"

sakura grumbled, but obliged. the iron bars were sharp at the ends, so she tried to avoid touching them in fear of stabbing her hands, opting to hold onto the middle parts of the bars and relying on boosting herself up with her feet on the bars placed horizontally. after a few deep breaths, she was able to swing herself over and land on the other side of the gate.

okay. that was kind of sick. sakura felt like she was in mirror's edge or something, envisioning the gate as a tall building and finally feeling good about herself. except that moment was ruined when the two idiots behind her started playing around while trying to get chaewon over. just before she was going to turn around and smack them, they took their places beside her, yunjin and chaewon on her left and right respectively.

and so, they began their mission: find a ghost in the unoccupied art room.

if sakura thought just being outside on campus was creepy enough, being inside the school itself was way creepier. it was dark, too dark inside, and the trio's sole source of light was this dusty old lantern that they had found in chaewon's garage. it flickered on and off half the time. sakura hated it. but yunjin said it added to the "spooky vibe" and despite chaewon's initial protest, she ultimately agreed to use it. damn it, you down bad girl.

"it's so ominous in here," the shorter girl remarked, holding onto the japanese's arm for dear life. yunjin tried to put on a brave face, but her whole body was shaking as she gripped the older girl's sleeve.

"don't worry! i'll p-protect you, chaewonnie."

"you know, you'd sound a little..." sakura grimaced as she heard a cracking noise somewhere in the vicinity, "...more convincing, if you weren't shaking in your boots right now."

eventually, they made it to the supposed art room, and stood in front of the door, waiting. why were they waiting?

"you... you should go in first!"

"yeah, you go in! you've b-been so... undeterred today, unnie!"

"wha—"

thus, she was pushed towards the door, once again. she tried to glare back at the pair, but they looked too scared to even move, so she begrudgingly slid the door open. a cloud of dust puffed up in her face, and she coughed.

"see, was that so ha—what the hell." upon turning back around, yunjin and chaewon were nowhere to be found. she was left in the dust. what great friends! that's fine, sakura's grown. ghosts aren't real. they aren't!

"such friends they are," a cooling whisper tickled her neck. sakura was inclined to agree, before realizing, 'what the fuck. who. is that.'

she snapped her head back so fast it could've given her whiplash, to see a pale face right in front of her.

"jesus fuck!"

the face moved back, giving her room to breathe (not that she could feel anything by its presence besides a ghastly chill) and allowing her to see that the face belonged to a floating figure. actually, it was quite pretty. wait a minute.

"who!?"

ghosts aren't real. they can't be. so why could she see one floating right in front of her? cocking its head to the side with an irritatingly curious expression? there's no way it's a ghost. sakura must've been hallucinating. that's right, yeah! she's definitely hallucinating.

"who are you?"

okay, fuck, it talks. sakura literally can't find anything in her head to try to alleviate the situation. so she does the obvious(?) and humors it. she repeated her intended sentences in her head, praying she doesn't piss it off and die. 'my name is sakura. do you have a name? my name is sakura. do you have a name? my name is-'

...but what comes out, is: "my sakura is name. do you name a have?"

"huh?"

what the hell.

"fuck. fuck, okay. my- um. my name is," she cleared her throat, averting her gaze to the ground. she clutched onto the handle of the flashlight. "my name's sakura... do you, um. do you have a name?"

it floated up, and sakura braced herself. this was not on her 2024 bingo sheet. but then it approached her with a smile. unsettling? more pretty than unsettling. since when were ghosts—or whatever it was—so attractive?

it inched closer to her, and sakura could feel another chilling sensation on her skin. "name? i'm y/n. nice to meet you, sakura. what are you doing here? i haven't seen anyone in ages besides the students during the day, but no one's ever visited me at night."

the way it... no, the way you talked was... refreshing? she expected demands in favor of any of the seven sins, in exchange for her body or whatever, yet your tone was the opposite of that. you sounded... friendly, even.

"um..." should she be honest? sakura never thought she would make it this far unscathed, so... YOLO? "we—me and my friends i mean—heard there was a ghost here. so we came to check it out."

she was still standing at the entrance, unmoving. there was a literal ghost(?) in front of her, after all. "i guess its you...?"

you pretended to think for a moment, resting your chin against your palm. "yeah, that checks out."

a beat of silence followed. you and sakura were just staring at each other, neither of you daring to move a muscle. well, at least sakura dared not to move a muscle. you were freely moving around her, scrutinizing her with your gaze.

"do you want to stay for a bit? i won't hurt you. i mean, i literally can't touch you, so..."

you had a point. but it took sakura more than a few moments to un-freeze herself and take a seat on one of the desk chairs. it was freezing cold in the room, probably due to how long you'd been in here, but it made the shorter girl zip up her hoodie.

sakura averted her gaze to the ground, not wanting to make eye contact. "can i, um... ask you questions?"

unfortunately for her, you appeared inside of the desk, your head popping out so you could forcefully make the japanese look at you. in turn, she yelped.

"ahaha, sorry, sorry. it's just a bit rude to talk to someone without looking at them, no?"

she rubbed at her sleeve. she needed to get out of here, and go home to her endless mountain of stuffed animals on her bed. and maybe cry to wendy's album on repeat.

"sorry," she mumbled. today was not her day.

you nodded and hummed, moving back to "sit" on the desk in front of sakura. "go ahead, then. ask away!"

okay. okay! you can do this, kkura. you were just a ghost. you couldn't do anything to her.

"how long have you been here?"

"three years."

"were you a student here?"

"yeah, i died in the year i was supposed to graduate, which was three years ago." so you were a year older.

"why the art room? did you like drawing?"

you pursed your lips and crossed your legs. sakura felt the cold air pulse in front of her, where you were.

"not really... my best friend did, though!"

"best friend?"

"yeah!" you made to lower yourself from the top of the desk to the chair below. "her name is seulgi. i don't think she's dead yet? maybe you can find her online, or something."

"seulgi... i've heard that name before."

you phased yourself through the back of the chair and in front of sakura again. "you have!? how is she, is she well? i didn't talk to her that much in my last year so i don't know. and i can't really access the internet in this form, so..."

she gulped. "um..."

you gazed at her so expectantly. sakura almost felt bad, she should at least answer your questions.

"i think she's an artist. she recently had an exhibition near my university, it was part of an alumni event," she answered slowly. her skin must've been burning red from the way she was rubbing her sleeve.

you moved back again, now with a serene expression of your face. did that satisfy you?

"i see. thank you."

"..."

you suddenly put on a cheerful smile. it was off putting, but then again, everything about this interaction had been off putting, so sakura wasn't all that surprised anymore. "it's my turn to ask questions, sakura!"

straight to talking informally, huh.

"how old are you?"

the question was unexpected. it made her choke on her spit, and made you scramble around to look for water.

she took a deep breath after regaining her composure, and you settled back down onto the desk. "i'm about to enter my... third year of college."

"so that makes you...?"

"uh, i'm turning 21."

"so you're 20."

"yeah..."

you had an unreadable expression on your face. sakura braced herself. she wasn't lying, though.

"okay! you're sakura..."

"miyawaki."

"you're japanese?"

"mhm."

"cool! miyawaki sakura, 20 years old."

sakura and you stared at each other once more.

"no more questions?"

"nope! did you want me to ask more?"

she stood up from her seat, keeping eye contact. you didn't seem very scary anymore. but more... cute. cute was a fitting word.

"no..."

just in time, her phone buzzed. she fished the device out of her pocket to see hundreds of missed calls and unread messages from yunjin and chaewon. it was also well-past four am.

you floated in front of her, pouting. "you have to go?"

sakura nodded. you escorted her to the door. "visit me soon, 'kay? you're fun to talk to. and super pretty."

that shouldn't have made her blush. although, at least the sentiment was mutual.

"o-okay."

instead of listening to soothing songs that night, sakura found herself listening to wendy's collection of love songs.

fuck, did she have a crush on a ghost?

as per your request, sakura returned to the school the next night. the empty hallways didn't seem so desolate as it did before (the dark combined with flashlights made it seem abandoned, though the school was still running like normal in the day) and she was slowly starting to get used to your... presence.

so she visited the night after that, too. and the night after, and also the night after the last night. and then it became a routine. she'd finish up any work she had to do in the afternoon, which wasn't much since she was on summer break, hang out with yunjin and chaewon (sometimes yujin and wonyoung, too, and on a rare occasion, chaeyeon), and kill some time by playing games before she set out for the school.

if you told sakura she would be sneaking into a school to visit a very pretty scary? ghost, she wouldn't believe you... but here we are now. after hanging out with you for a while, she'd compiled a list of things about you in her mind:

you remembered bits of your life, like things were important to you, sakura couldn't tell if you were lying about not remembering the other things though.

you died three years ago (you were 1 year above her)

you and seulgi were really close (seulgi is two years older than her and one year older than you)

you like listening and watching her play games, even going as far as to add in your own commentary (it makes her blush)

today she was going to bring her switch. she'd been meaning to work on her island in animal crossing, but lately she had been caught up in progressing through persona 3 reload, a game she finally caught on sale and had been waiting for, for ages. (she fucking hated tartar sauce. tart harass. tartarus. whatever.)

she carefully slid the classroom door open, being greeted with a yelp and an excited wave. sakura smiled shyly and switched on the fairy lights she'd brought in a couple of days ago, and walked over to one of the desks to set her bag down.

"hi, sakura!" you floated next to her, briefly hugging her. she shivered due to your chilliness, but patted you on the back. as best as she could, at least.

over the days you worked together to decorate the art room, transforming it into a comfy nook where one could relax and have a light snack. at first sakura felt bad that you had to watch her do all these things, but you insisted that watching and listening to her eat and play games helped you live vicariously through her.

sakura opened the closet in the back to get a bag of honey butter chips. you had mentioned that it was one of your favorite snacks prior to your... untimely death, so she took it upon herself to buy a bunch of them early in the morning.

she popped one in her mouth, closing her eyes at the taste and crunch.

you blinked at her intently, grinning toothily at the college student. "how is it?"

"mmh. very honey buttery," she teased, making you scoff and pout.

"you're not funny, sakura."

said girl gasped in offense, "i think i'm exceptionally funny, thank you!"

"not. funny," you stuck out your tongue. did you think this was a game?

it was fun teasing you, but you always shot back tenfold... it didn't stop her from doing it, though.

"are you playing persona again today?" you asked once she settled down into her regular seat in the back of the classroom. whenever she brought her switch she would be working on her 100% save of persona 5 royal, since she could only play her newly acquired game of the same series, on her computer at home.

sakura took out the device and inserted the animal crossing cartridge, although it was taking a bit to load into the title screen.

she glanced at you from the side. you were sitting on the chair adjacent to hers. (it was an early adjustment, pushing two desks together so you could sit next to each other. something that you suggested, seemed like you were tired of sitting on top of her desk.)

shaking her head, sakura pointed at the screen. "animal crossing. i need to sell my tarantulas to flick today."

you shivered. you hated insects and arachnids, that was another thing that sakura found out about you through a very frightening encounter with a daddy long-legs when she initially opened the dusty closet.

your reaction didn't go unnoticed by the younger girl. her shoulders shook with mirth, laughing at the absurdity of your predicament. you were a ghost. and you were afraid of spiders. and ants, and beetles and bees, when they couldn't see or even touch you.

"don't laugh! any type of spiders or bugs are the bane of my existence, i swear!"

"y/n, the tarantulas are in the game!" sakura wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye. she just couldn't believe your fear went this far. hell, she hated them too, but she was safe from the demons in game.

the cold intensified. it seemed to do that whenever you felt a particularly strong emotion. "they're still creepy in game."

"whatever you say, y/n."

she reached for and felt around the inside her bag, looking for nothing in particular, until her hand bumped into a familiar casing. that's right, the camera!

if sakura didn't know any better, she'd have thought it was an ordinary vintage camcorder. but this, this was a special camcorder. she'd been through hell and back to buy it off this random dude she'd found on her college forum.

"a camera?" you leaned in closer, curiosity piqued. sakura felt an icy blow of wind on her cheek from your presence, yet it made her blush. she was afraid the "crush" had turned into a crush.

"not just any camera," she smugly proclaimed. "it's supposed to capture," she made air-quotes, "'ghostly encounters.' or whatever that guy sunoo said."

"i'm not..." you laughed. normally she would've laughed too, but she was dead set on this financial decision. seeing the pure determination on her face, your laughter ceased. "oh, you're serious."

"well, okay. let's test it out, shall we?"

she fumbled with the camera, taking it out of the flap case with caution and flipping the screen open.

this would totally serve as real proof to her friends.

"i literally don't see anything, unnie." yunjin pouted.

yunjin and chaewon sat unamused on sakura's bed. sakura was showing them the footage she had taken a few days ago of a conversation between you and her.

"weren't you the one saying ghosts aren't real all the time? now all of a sudden you're claiming you've even befriended one. we should really stop you from going back, unnie," chaewon deadpanned.

she was right. sakura was saying all that stuff. keyword: was. but she was a changed woman! now that she'd seen it with her own eyes, there had to be a way for her to prove herself. all of a sudden she felt bad for calling out yujin's delusions a few months back. she apologized to yujin in her head.

in her defense, she hadn't checked the footage she had taken at all until now. and not once did it come up in her mind that ghosts... didn't show up on camera. because they were ghosts.

the footage consisted of her making simple conversation with you, asking about your interests and introducing you to the viewers. it then escalated into a shoving contest, and sakura whining about how it wasn't fair that you could have even a slight effect on her (your eerie icy air) while she could just "phase" through your figure. that was what she saw, anyway.

to the two confuddled girls taking up all the space on her neat bed, it was just the girl talking to the air. and fighting the air. and blushing at air.

it was safe to say (to them at least) that miyawaki sakura had officially gone insane from too many nights stayed up this summer. the initial visit to the school at night was only a test of courage to start off the break, but it seemed that abandoning her and therefore failing said test of courage had a bigger effect on the older girl.

sakura huffed.

("can i bring my friends back?"

"huh? uh, sure. video didn't work?"

"no."

"then i'm not sure you think they'd see me if they didn't in the—"

"shut up.)

"why are we back here again," chaewon whined, clutching onto sakura's arm for dear life. they, once again, had brought the huge lantern from chaewon's family garage, even if the older girl had reassured them that their phone lights would be enough. sakura was getting tired of the lingering afterimages.

yunjin made a face as a spider was made visible from their powerhouse of a light source. "sakura-unnie, i swear i believe there's a ghost. even if we didn't see anything... now can we please go back home?"

"sure. i'll keep going and you two can run back. i won't believe that you believe me unless you see her with your own eyes."

finally, that shut them up. with much trouble, (mostly the two college freshmen clinging to sakura's arms) they traversed through the creepy hallway until they reached the art room at the end. sakura could hear some faint humming in the tune of gee by girls' generation, and she smiled to herself. it wasn't your favorite song, but it was the one that got stuck in your head the most.

she turned to the two cowering girls behind her (who had clutched onto each other the moment she broke away from their terrified grasps) and slid open the door.

"hey, sakura!" you waved from a desk in the corner. the girl waved and turned to her friends again, raising an eyebrow.

"do you hear her?"

"h-hear what," chaewon squeaked.

'are you serious.'

sakura stepped into the room, chaewon and yunjin hesitantly trailing behind her.

the american shivered. "is—is it just me or is it way too cold in here."

"that's the ghost!" the japanese desperately exclaimed, shaking the girls back and forth. "she's right there, look, please!"

chaewon looked back at her with an equal amount of desperation in her eyes, though for a completely different reason. "unnie... there's no one there..."

"what!?"

cool air whispered near sakura's ear, making her shudder. "yeah, sakura... there's no one here?" you giggled. she flushed red and turned around to shove you, but her arms went straight through. damn it, why were you a ghost?

"i don't know what happened when we left you, but i just know we should've dragged you back with us!" the tall girl cried out, genuinely worried for her friend. until chaewon started giggling at the sight of sakura fighting the air with her own eyes and they both started giggling together.

eventually, they both calmed down and sat at the desks, though they picked the ones right next to the door just in case they really saw something. chaewon and yunjin explained they couldn't see or hear anything, but it was exceptionally cold in the classroom, more than outside. and when y/n lingered closer to them, the iciness intensified.

unfortunately sakura couldn't stay this time, since the pair's calmness started to wear off and they started getting paranoid again. the older girl's interactions with the "ghost" seemed less entertaining and more... get her a therapist, ASAP.

you took notice of this and convinced sakura to take them home, and that you wouldn't mind.

sakura left with a final grumble, dragging the two by their collars and complaining about them, to them. she was going to get to the bottom of this.

"i just don't understand why they can't see you, why can i see you but not them?"

sakura was sitting at her usual spot, having returned the next night to visit you again. instead of you occupying the seat adjacent to her, however, you decided to sit crisscrossed on top of the desk in front of her.

you pursed your lips, then blew out an icy breath into her face. she frowned. "maybe it has to do with my last wish."

"uh, what last wish?"

"i mean," you sighed. "it's the whole reason i'm stuck here. the dead that remain on earth typically have a last wish that ties them down here, and only someone who meets specific requirements can help them go on to the afterlife. usually the reapers meet those prerequisites, so they help the spirits."

"my requirements would probably be... i don't know, someone who went to school with me, or maybe someone who came looking for specifically me? again, i'm not sure. maybe mine would be easier if i died in a more natural way."

this sparked a tinge of curiosity in sakura. you never really talked about how you died, always managing to avoid the topic and discuss something unrelated. "how did you die?"

"mmh, i jumped off the roof. and splat! i died."

"wha..."

why did you talk about it so casually? were you okay? why did you... what the fuck? maybe... maybe there was a reason you never talked about it? and this was just your way of coping, sakura didn't know. sakura wanted to know, and also know more about you. every bit of information about you that she uncovered stuck to her like glue. her infatuation with you not only as a ghost but also as a person was growing, and she wondered what would've happened if she never agreed to the initial test of courage. she wanted so badly to ask you, but the empathy in her told her not to pry further.

anyway...? reapers? other spirits? there were still ghosts on earth other than you? suddenly sakura didn't seem so ashamed that she spent all day, everyday in her room. but that's besides the point!

"so what's your last wish?"

you tapped your finger against your chin, furrowing your eyebrows. "hmm... i don't remember!"

"huh!?"

"but if i try hard enough, i'm sure it'll come up!"

"y/n..."

now, over the next few days you and sakura pretended like nothing happened. no last wishes, no death talk, just continuing on like before.

sakura, being the nerd tech-wizard she was, managed to get the projector working so she could have a bigger screen than the tiny one on the switch, and also watch films through her laptop, on the netflix account that yunjin didn't know she still had access to.

you figured out how to turn some of the lights in the corridors on, which let you and sakura venture out into the school and have a change of environment. sure, the artroom was cozy now, but sometimes getting out of there was refreshing for you.

"you're so warm, kkura," you murmured, making it appear as if you were laying on her lap where she was sitting at the end of the hallway. the lights flickered every so often, and the raven-haired girl's phone was about to die. they were a tad far from the art room, so when the battery finally ran out they would have to make do with the flickering lights.

she giggled, tapping the cold air where your nose would be. you scrunched up your face in response. "don't lie. can ghosts even feel warmth?"

"no... but i can feel your warmth, promise," you pouted. you were her weakness, really. she wished everyone else could see you but well, was it selfish of her that she was glad she was the only one who could?

sakura looked to the right, where the rest of your body was. huh, your legs weren't visible from this angle.

...wait a minute.

"where are your legs?"

your pout morphed into a frown of confusion, raising an eyebrow at the japanese girl. "huh?"

you then looked down, expecting to prove her wrong and that your legs were as intact as a ghost's legs could be... only to see that the lower half of your body was indeed gone, from the knees down. the rest of your body seemed to fade into nothing.

"huh. my legs are gone," you affirmed. "oh my god! my legs are gone!"

your gaze switched between sakura's equally as afraid face, and your missing legs. then it all became dark. the lights had gone out.

"y/n? y/n! the lights, the lights are... are you there still?"

"yes... the lights went out, so i can't see anything. does your phone still turn on?"

"don't ghosts have some sort of night vision? why can't you—agh..." she tried holding the power button on her phone, but what showed on the screen was the dead battery icon. "fuck."

the lights flickered, and both of your faces lit up in hope, until they went out again. then, the lights ahead flickered, and the pattern repeated. this was like in those dramatic scenes when the lights would turn on whenever you moved the character towards them, except they turned on by themselves. oh shit. she'd have to run quick if she wanted light.

luckily, you thought the same. "kkura, let's run."

and through the ceiling lights that flickered on and off in succession, sakura ran. she could only see you for seconds at a time, when the lights would make you visible, but you were smiling as you lead her through the corridors.

when you finally made it to the (thankfully) still-lit art room, you disappeared. "y/n? where'd you go?"

in fear, she spun around frantically, trying to see if you were anywhere near the classroom. did your last wish get granted and you just disappeared? no, she couldn't live with that. there's no way running through the hallway as if you were in an indie horror game was your last wish. where were you? what if—

"boo."

"jesus—jesus fuck!"

there you were, your knee-less form doubling over in laughter. "y/n, i thought you were gone for real! oh my god!"

"oh my—you should've seen the look on your face! you look like you've seen a ghost!"

"you're laughing. i almost suffered a heart attack from you and you're laughing."

you floated back up to her at eye-level, flashing a crooked grin. "sorry, kkura. but wasn't that fun?"

and, like many other occasions, sakura found herself failing to say no to you.

"i guess."

you were fading away.

it was the thing that happened when ghosts' last wish were granted naturally, not instantaneously like with a reaper. most wished for anyone but a reaper, so they could savor their true last moments left on earth, to fade away into the air and move on peacefully. not to be forcefully flown up to the afterlife, watching their surroundings become smaller as they got further up. it even made some of them queasy. unfortunately for them, only a certain amount of people found peace without the help of a reaper.

similar to when you revealed the truth of your death, you and sakura both chose to ignore how you were fading.

it had gotten significantly less colder than when sakura had first met you. only half your ghost form was visible; your hips down were gone now. sakura tried her best to ignore the gnawing feelings burning in her chest whenever she looked at you.

to alleviate her inner turmoil, she looked into some strategies to destress. this case was at 2 am, on some crappy wikihow articles with silly little illustrations. many suggested reading to relax the mind and body, but that was more of a yunjin thing. so she researched other calming hobbies.

crocheting had become a recent hobby of hers, something to kill time with in the daytime when she wasn't out. it quickly started to become an obsession—she would use every bit of her free time, whether it was during a cutscene in baldur's gate 3, before and after she took a nap, or whenever she wasn't out with friends.

"when'd you learn to crochet?"

sakura looked up to see you staring curiously at her hand movements, fascinated at the way she maneuvered the metal hook like it was second nature. "just last week. it's all i do nowadays."

she focused back to her project, stitching the beige yarn with her hook and occasionally glancing at the pattern on her phone screen. it was true, crocheting was all she did nowadays, added to her routine of gaming and being dragged to hangouts. she brought her crocheting tools everywhere with her, to everyone's complaint.

("pay attention to us unnie!" sakura recalled yujin whining, with wonyoung holding her back with a look of worry. chaewon and the couple had come over to the older girl's apartment, only to be met with her rotting away in her bed with her hook and yarn. it took 20 minutes of begging (yujin and chaewon) and coaxing (wonyoung) for them to finally play wii party.)

"i'm making a hat," she continued, meeting your gaze.

you smiled, resting your elbows on top of the wooden desk and leaning your chin against your palms. "is it for someone special?"

'fuck. how'd you know?' your question automatically led to the bright blush that had settled on her face, burning her cheeks so much that she had to break from your stare.

"i knew it! tell me, tell me!"

well, sakura didn't want to out herself. but then again, she knew you wouldn't give up that easily.

"...it's for you. i thought maybe, you could take it with you, when you... yeah."

"..."

the silence that followed scared the girl. it was the first time your disappearance had been mentioned ever since it was discovered. she hesitantly looked back up, biting her lip.

you blew a gust of cold-ish air at sakura, flashing a toothy grin. she had gotten used to your intense cold, but now it didn't feel any worse than the broken aircon.

"thanks, kkura."

there was something different about the school today. maybe it was because sakura decided to stop by a little earlier than usual, just before midnight. there was a full moon tonight, revealing thousands of stars that were truly a sight to behold. the japanese girl wanted to share the view with you.

the resounding echoes of her footsteps were eerily loud. sakura felt her heart beat in her throat, her palms getting clammy. that wouldn't do, she had to keep the cat-eared beanie in pristine condition—she stayed up countless nights to finish it for you.

it had been three weeks since the initial meeting, but in those three weeks, sakura found herself falling for a ghost. she couldn't get enough of you—at first it was a reaction to your beautiful appearance. in all of the games or movies she had seen and played, ghosts were more... ghastly. you, however, you appeared as a regular human; if your very presence wasn't chilling to the bone, or if you didn't float, she might as well have assumed you were another person looking for the infamous ghost.

and you, the art room ghost, were a spectacle. it was a crime that sakura didn't know about you sooner. maybe if you had met in school all those years ago, this situation would have been incredibly different. you went to the same school, only a year above her, yet you'd left no trace behind.

there were probably rumors floating around about your suicide, yes, but she'd returned to japan for more than six months, starting from the middle of her second year, to the middle of the summer before her third, in which she'd be graduating. it was no wonder she never heard about it. you'd done it a week before you would've graduated, and sakura was gone by then.

you were so bright, curious, relaxed, and frankly, unserious. it contrasted so strongly against the stereotypical, moody ghost, that it also intrigued sakura a copious amount.

sakura found solace in you. simple as that—she couldn't see herself without you now. and she wouldn't know what to do with herself when you would eventually disappear. you were lovely.

as she approached the door of the art room, she felt a sudden chill, before it dissipated into warmth, like a fire lit inside of her gut, burning everything in its way and leaving it in ruins. for the first time, she hesitated, afraid to slide open the door and see you.

the classroom was bathed in the soft, pale light of the moon streaming through the dusty windows, setting a peaceful atmosphere. through sakura's fear-stricken eyes, she could see you, your form reduced to one that she could barely notice if not for her seeking gaze.

"you came," you turned around, a smile on your face. for some reason, your full body was back, but it was more faint than ever. she stepped closer to you, into the light that shined onto the desks. from the front of the room where you were standing, sakura could see all the memories the two of you had made, from the fairy lights to the fixed projector.

she set the beanie onto the wooden surface and bit her lip. "i'm here."

you grinned at the object, tilting your head at the student. "for me?"

a nod.

her eyes gradually filled with tears, threatening to burst out like a dam. "i don't want you to go."

"i know."

the tears burned a trail down sakura's cheeks. she couldn't afford to blink, what if you disappeared in a split second?

you reached out with your hand to cup her cheek, returning her gaze of anguish with a remorseful stare of your own. "thank you for granting my peace. do you want to know what my wish was?"

"what?" the japanese girl choked out. your face was a blurry mess due to the tears that blocked her vision. she wiped them furiously with trembling hands, but to no avail—they just kept coming.

in a slowly timed manner, you cupped her other cheek with your hand and leaned in, planting a cold kiss to her lips that lingered even after you pulled away.

"i finally made another friend."

a pang in the chest. sakura couldn't even respond, too caught up in the moment and feeling every emotion she had ever felt in her twenty years of life, into one jumbled up pile. you were fading; your body becoming more transparent by the second.

"if only... in better circumstances, you know?" you whispered. she swore she could see tears rolling down your cheeks. "we could've been more than that."

the last sakura saw of you that night was your bittersweet smile, fading away into nothingness. the beanie lay untouched on the desk, the fairy lights where she last left it, and the projector ready to play hollow knight on her switch.

she was alone in the art room.

eat. sleep. crochet. repeat. sakura hadn't left the vicinity of her room in two days. living off of shitty top ramen packets and cans of redbull, she didn't even know what she was crocheting. she hadn't logged onto any games either.

miyawaki sakura was lost.

without you, she didn't know what to do. there was nothing waiting for her in the unholy hours after midnight. no one to watch her play games on a school projector. no one to look forward to seeing.

her friends came knocking on her door, letting themselves in but giving up as soon as they saw how far gone she was. she wouldn't budge, only answering with a half-assed "mhm..." or "right..." as she stitched the beige yarn with almost mechanical movements.

the yarn had been continuously weaved into a long, stretching piece, pooling around her as she worked at a depressing yet strenuous pace.

"sakura-unnie..." chaewon tugged at the mourning girl's sleeve. "this isn't healthy..."

"mhm..."

yunjin frowned, almost tearing up at the older girl's pitiful state. "what could've happened to her? she's never done this before."

"maybe it's the ghost?" chaewon turned to look at the blonde, who was sitting on the edge of the black gaming chair. "doesn't look like she's been back there for a while."

sakura tensed. a stray tear made it out the corner of her eye.

"y/n," she murmured, then going back to crocheting.

"is there something we can do, unnie?"

"it's not like we can bring her back, yunjin."

bring you back? bring you back... summoning the dead... would it count if you'd already ascended? no, never mind that. summoning circles... demons... you weren't a demon, you were obviously an angel. occult...

sakura did recall a section dedicated to the occult at the campus library.

she dropped her hook and yarn, getting out of bed and pushing past the two girls, who were clearly bewildered at her actions. she had to go get books.

but that would take forever, wouldn't it?

she strided back into her room, taking hold of the girls' wrists.

"we're going to the library."

"for what!?" chaewon yelped. sakura had a killer grip, unexpected coming from a gamer who was a shut-in most of the time.

"i'm going to bring y/n back."

"you're kidding, right!? that's something in the movies! i—you're not listening..." chaewon groaned.

yunjin wrinkled her nose. "could you at least take a shower first? no offense, unnie, but you smell... it's at least not as bad as passing by the boys' locker room though."

oh shit. she hadn't left her room in two days.

"we're going to the library after."

"witch's handbook... herbs and hexes..."

sakura, having freshly showered and changed into some suitable clothes that weren't just sweats and an old pokémon hoodie, skimmed through a variety of books in the supernatural section of the library. yunjin was surrounded by piles of books on a nearby table, sitting with her face smushed into the wooden surface.

chaewon had been trying as diligently she could to aid the older girl in her search, but most of the books were fiction or sounded... not very promising.

she glanced worriedly to her friend, who was in a manic state. "kkura-unnie, i really don't think—"

"necromancer's manual," the japanese gasped out. she tugged the dusty book out of its placw between two other 'magic' books, and rushed over to where yunjin was dozing off.

the slam of the book echoed throughout the library, which was mostly empty save for librarian who glared over at their general direction. the noise and vibrations it sent through the table woke up the blonde, making her jump to her feet and salute.

"i'm up, ma'am!"

"hey, who are you calling... nevermind."

sakura began reading the faded text printed on the first pages of the book. "the path of a necromancer is one of darkness and... ugh, don't care... approach these teachings with respect, for the dead may not forgive, and the power to summon them is as much a curse as it is a gift."

yunjin and chaewon stood behind her, though not reading the book but crossing their fingers hoping that the older girl gave up and would go back to being the sakura that they know and love. this whole trip to the library she was off in her own world, going on and on about how she was going to get this y/n back. she didn't even tell yunjin to step on the brakes way before she actually had to.

it took them one look at sakura: her widened eyes, the frown that was etched onto her face. she was about to do something crazy. something that might kill her if it succeeded. but they're not sure if she was even thinking about such things; sakura was clouded with a mix of emotions so strong that she seemed like a whole new person.

it was almost as if she were reborn.

step one: gather your materials. to summon the dead is a perilous task, and to do as such is a path filled with trouble. fret not, for you have made it this far, and backing out is always viable if need be.

below is a list of materials that will aid you. note that these are suggestions, and if you are to rekindle specifics, these may not apply.

chalk, to draw the main summoning grounds in the form of a standard pentagram

five palm wax candles

sea salt, to be sprinkled around the circle

parchment and a quill or other utensil, for the person's name to be written on and burned as the finalization of the ritual

one white lily

an object dear to the person

of course, there were extra measures needed to be taken for sakura to fully do this. the amount of shady wikihow tutorials she pulled up was alarming. it wasn't her fault though. what if she messed up while drawing the pentagram? and where the hell would she get palm wax candles? ordering online would take too long. so... she called up her good friend and little sister of chaewon: eunchae.

eunchae had many connections. all it took was a few texts and the younger girl had showed up to her apartment, kyujin in tow, with a box of premium palm wax candles. they looked to be very expensive, but with whatever witchery eunchae did, she only had to pay a whopping... nothing at all, actually. thank god for eunchae.

sea salt, chalk, and the white lily were easy to obtain. she had sea salt from her kitchen, chalk that she never gave back to yunjin, and went to go buy a single white lily from the florist next to the local bookstore which was famous for housing four cats.

the parchment was slightly harder to find, but she managed it by stopping by some antique store that was dustier than chaewon's garage. as for the quill... well, a fountain pen was close enough, right? whatever. sakura didn't have much time left, the only thing left was to get something that meant a lot to you... but what could it be? you didn't talk much about your own life in general, at least the important bits... but you did talk about your best friend sometimes.

best friend...

kang seulgi, the prodigy. admired by many, though some thought her as enigmatic. she had an impeccable fashion sense, was incredibly selfless, and was absolutely stunning.

but out of all people, she chose to spend most of her time with not only an underclassman but quite frankly the quietest one. the girl, y/n, chose to work alone in every group project—no one knew why the teachers let her get away with it. whenever she did talk to someone, they could barely hear her. so when one of the most popular students in school approached her, everyone was shocked.

they were quick friends. eventually they were seen everywhere together, especially in the art room. seulgi would paint or draw, and y/n would watch. sometimes the younger would be the model, and sometimes she would lounge around on her phone while eating honey butter chips.

seulgi and y/n talked about anything and everything. from the interesting topics of the day like the substitute teacher in the second years' history class, to the most mundane things like a slight change to the lunch menu. they were glued by the hip; one would never be seen without the other.

of course, this changed when seulgi graduated. y/n became as isolated as ever, always having a sullen look on her face. she spent her last year with minimal interactions with others, disappeared during lunch breaks, and rarely attended school events.

and... eventually she couldn't take it anymore. during lunch, she went up to the rooftop, slipped off her shoes, and started freefalling.

sakura did not know of this information. but she did know one thing: seulgi probably held her best friend's most precious item, or at least knowledge of it. she was going to revive that stupid idiot no matter what it took.

from: [email protected] to: [email protected] hello ms. kang seulgi, i would like to schedule a meeting with you. it is not for a commission, but something very personal. i know we have not yet met, but i need you to consider my request. i need to ask you a question about someone you were very close with in your high school years. someone by the name of y/n. best regards, miyawaki sakura

"good morning."

"...good morning," seulgi hesitantly greeted, taking a seat across sakura in a rather quiet coffeeshop. "so, you need to ask me about y/n?"

the japanese raised her eyebrows. she was straight to the point, but it saved her some time. "yes. look, you may not believe me, but i met her as a ghost some time ago, but i was the only one who saw her. and long story short, she disappeared into thin air and i need to bring her back."

to no one's surprise, seulgi was narrowing her eyes at her. "um, you mean to tell me that the girl that i heard killed herself, came back as a ghost that only you could see, suddenly disappeared again?"

"yeah."

"ms. miyawaki, was it?"

"that's me."

"...have you been to therapy?"

well, fuck. how was she supposed to explain herself?

she started by explaining how she met the ghost. the haunted school rumor, the first conversation, the daily meetups, and the like. it was a lengthy explanation, one that had the artist furrow her eyebrows at every passing second. but sakura was willing to do whatever it takes, even if it cost her dignity.

surely seulgi held the key.

seulgi frowned, drumming the pads of her fingers against the table. "what does this have to do with me?"

"i'm going to attempt a summoning. y/n has meant too much to me in such a short time, and it will cost my entire being if i can't see her again," sakura stated, a raging mania storming her eyes. she crossed her legs and clasped her fingers together. "i need something that was important to her. and i believe you, kang seulgi, are in possession of whatever it is."

"and what if i do have it? interfering with the dead is ridiculous, even if you told your story," a flash of hurt passed, her face remaining solemn yet sorrowful. "is this what y/n... would've wanted?"

sakura's eyes widened. would you want her to do this? no, never mind that. "we can't ask. y/n died without accomplishing what she wanted most. don't you want her to achieve her dreams?"

the drumming paused. "...and if i don't have it?"

"then i swear on my life that i will get that item no matter what."

"i couldn't back then, but... will you take care of her?"

"one hundred percent."

"..."

"thank you," sakura collected the envelope and stood up from the chair, the metal legs screeching against the floor. "and i'm sorry. i love her. and i know you did too."

seulgi stayed in her seat, reflecting on actions that she couldn't reverse. ones that could not be reversed because they were never done in the first place.

if she had reached out, would this turn out differently? was she right to trust this stranger who claimed to know your name?

she stood from the metal chair with shaky legs, and walked out.

dear seulgi,

it's me. i just want to say that i'm sorry. i should've kept contact with you before it was too late. i know you're going to say it was never going to be too late, but i can't take it anymore.

every second passes by and everyone looks at me with such a look of pity. at first they asked me where you were, before realizing you graduated and laughed it off. i can't laugh it off, you were my other half. my best friend. it was always y/n and seulgi, seulgi and y/n.

nowadays i spend all of my spare time in the art room or somewhere outside. they don't use the art room anymore, you know? said they ran out of budget to support the art department, and shut it down. i buy whatever's left at the school store and eat in there.

i'm tired. i can't wait another year or whatever just so i can see you again. we haven't talked. i miss you.

i'm graduating next week.

i think i'm going to die before then.

- y/n

the candles were set up. she had to pull up the wikihow article for the pentagram, but regardless, it was done. the sea salt was sprinkled and the parchment was prepared. she set the letter in the center, along with the white lily.

eyes devoid of emotion, she took a deep breath, and let the parchment burn. the crackling sounds were crisp to her ear, reminding her that it was too late to turn back.

"and with this offering..."

she's reminded of the memories you made together. the gaming sessions, conversations, and your departure. the you that she met was so different from the one in the letter.

"i seek to reforge a bond with thee."

the explorations after turning the lights on, and how the last one was the introduction of something that would take you away.

"within these sacrificial flames, i humbly ask thee to appear before mine eyes."

bow down. once, twice. she felt the heat of the candles on her cheeks. they were emitting the only source of light in the classroom.

and now, you were to appear before her. or so she thought. instead, she was faced with nothing. not a sound—the windows were shut along with the curtains and the door was closed.

sakura remained bowed down. squeezing her eyes shut and denying that all of this was fake. denying that it was, indeed, all for naught. denying that her friends were right and seulgi was right and everyone was right and she wasn't.

blinded by her guilt and grief, for someone who was peacefully resting now. she would return to her apartment and go back to her normal life, whether she liked it or not. the pool of yarn was still sitting on her bed, the beanie on her desk.

she would also have to apologize to everyone she knew. yunjin and chaewon, who were only concerned for her well being but were dragged into the preparations.

seulgi, who she hunted down and persuaded to give up what could've been the last she had of you.

a wet substance dripped down her cheek and onto the creaky, wooden floor. and another drop joined the first, and then it came in a steady flow.

you wouldn't have wanted this.

you would've wanted her to move on. and be happy that the short relationship even happened.

you wouldn't have wanted her to drown in grief, then be consumed by mania in an attempt to desecrate the laws of the world.

you would've wanted her to remember you. not bring you back.

sakura ruined whatever trust you had in her. disrespected your death, and your disappearance. she didn't know how she was going to atone for the dents she made in other lives.

her sleeves were now soaked in tears. her nails broke the skin of her palm and she bled. indents of the wrinkles of her pants were left on her knees.

sakura pushed herself off the ground, only to be flung by an inexplicably powerful gust of wind. it sent her crashing into the desks, her head spinning and unable to begin to comprehend what was happening. the curtains were forcefully ripped off from the impact of the wind, allowing the late night brightness seep into the classroom.

a trail of blood slid down from her forehead. a headache pounded into her temple. she closed her eyes for a split second and saw her late grandpa.

her mind was clear as mud, even as the door slid open. she slowly turned her head to the entrance, mouth falling agape.

someone very, very familiar.

sakura's mouth opened and closed, unable to form any words.

the girl furrowed her brow and adjusted her uniform skirt, looking around at the mess in the art room. her gaze eventually landed on sakura, who was crumpled on the floor, leaning against the desks which were scattered from her fall. she was bleeding from her head, which added to her confusion.

she tilted her head, her nametag glinting in the moonlight. slowly stepping forward and towards the bleeding girl and poking her unbloodied cheek. "who are you?"

the familiar girl's touch was warm. sakura's throat became dry, a fresh batch of tears flowing down her cheeks.

"y-y/n..."

a/n : hello!!! so sorry for the wait :) this was longer than i thought, and much deeper than i originally intended but oh well. thank you for reading until the end 😁

[nwjnsloona]

i just reread this. if you even care.

[yerimbrit]

[an's christmas pop-up shop! day 1, wc: 2k] - snowmen, a timeless art : m. danielle

staff on duty: danielle marsh special menu: snowmen, a timeless art desc: remember those childhood days spent frolicking in the snowy delights of winter? after a heavy snowfall and a nice, warm cup of cocoa—enjoyed with a family member, friend, or perhaps lover—why don't you relive an old memory and go build a snowman? tags: established relationship, nonidol!au, fluff, tooth rotting fluff, tripleS nakyoung and sohyun cameo, mentions of empl*yment, snow angels, snowmen, BANNER BY CELESTE @nwjnsloona ILY, elementary teacher!dani x law student!fem!reader

“SO THAT’S WHY i was sending you voice notes of me laughing hysterically at three in the morning. sorry, dani.”

the lively chatter of the other patrons in the café is pleasant to your ears. it also lets you speak with a bit less of a filter, detailing your lovely girlfriend, danielle marsh, on one of the cases you shadowed a few weeks ago.

you take a sip of your cocoa, now cooled down just enough to feel a slight burn but fills your body with warmth—though the last part may also be due to the fact you’re finally on a date with danielle after weeks of school, work, and overtime. thank god for winter break.

danielle giggles, her smile radiant and lifting any bad feelings, if any, you had prior. “how does someone even think of that? a raccoon giving them legal advice and then bringing said raccoon in to rob a 7-eleven?”

it was a crazy case. you can’t even make this up. the defendant, which your side was against, was spouting all sorts of nonsense when he took the stand, including his little… raccoon consultation. he didn’t even succeed in robbing the convenience store. he barely got to shout and get a hand on the register before a cop, who was standing right outside the store (how he didn’t notice him is beyond you, honestly), rushed in and apprehended him.

outside, the snow is coming down heavier than ever. it’s been snowing the whole day and all of last night, so there’s a good amount of snow on the ground, enough for your footprints to make a nice and crunchy indent into the white powdery layers. 

you glance back at your mug, lifting it up to gulp down the remains of the chocolate drink. as you return the empty mug to the table, you feel some of the liquid stay on your  upper lip.

click!

you blink, tilting your head up to see danielle holding her phone with a wide grin on her face. 

“ah,” she lowers her phone, lips still stretched wide and her eyes creasing into charming crescents. “sorry, y/nnie, you just looked so cute with your cocoa-mustache!”

you've lost count of how many candids danielle has of you, because as far as you know, she takes at least ten on every day that you meet. also, you’re pretty sure she has a rotating widget of just your pictures.

wow. you love your girlfriend. you have your own fair share of candids of her, but her collection of yours? record-breaking.

you reach over for your napkin, but before you can even touch it danielle has already leaned over the table and is dabbing at your lips. a rush of pink dusts your cheeks.

“thank you, dani,” you smile and gesture at her own mug, seemingly empty from your point of view.  “you’re finished?”

she nods and turns her head to look out the window, lighting up. her eyes are so sparkly—it’s one of your favorite things about her, actually, her expressions and especially her dazzling smile. “y/n, let’s go out and play in the snow!”

you widen your eyes. “now? right outside?”

danielle nods eagerly as she packs your empty mugs into the tray you were provided. “what better time than now, y/n?”

in the blink of an eye, she’s bused your table and is now dragging you outside of the café. 

…you would’ve said yes anyway. she just didn’t give you a chance to.

there’s a park-turned-snowy-wonderland right across the street from the establishment, and that’s where you’re currently rolling a comically large snowball with danielle. you haven’t exactly done this since you were really young, with a puffed jacket that made you look like a marshmallow and a beanie that covered your eyes. on snow days, you’d wake up and see the once green yard turn into a whole field of white, then rushing to wake your parents and siblings to let you outside and play. 

you smile upon remembering those childhood memories. the snowball fights with your older sisters—fraternal twins, sohyun and nakyoung—where both of them would try to get you to fight on their side, and once you’d picked you would demolish the other. with snowballs, of course.

though you and dani have gotten your fair share of snowball fights, with your other friends minji and hanni, and also minji’s cousin haerin and her best friend hyein who is an absolute menace on the snow battlefield. right now, you’re focused on getting the perfect base for your snowman.

“you know,” danielle says as the two of you roll the snowball, now grown to about a quarter of your height, “one of the kids, they drew us. i have to show you, i have the drawing at my apartment, but it’s so cute—you have to see it. actually, i think i have a picture on my phone!”

you gasp, suddenly filled with warmth. danielle teaches second grade, and you’ve dropped by a couple of times to surprise her with lunch if she tells you she forgot to make hers that day, or really just for fun. the kids love you, apparently even more than their own teacher in danielle’s words, and some have even asked you when you’re going to propose to danielle… ah, well, not that you’re not thinking about it, but—it’s too soon for that!

danielle loves her job, judging by her smile that always comes so easily whenever she’s telling you about her day. lately, they’ve been talking about building snowmen over the winter break. maybe that’s where she got the idea.

“oh my god,” you start, working extra hard to push the snowball under the leafless tree where your bags are sitting beneath, “show me.” 

you dust your gloved hands as danielle quickly takes her phone out of her pocket and scrolls through her photo gallery. when you glance over, you can’t help but notice how red and wet her hands are from the snow. shaking your head, you tug one of your gloves off and grab her free hand, putting it on her yourself. 

she glances up from her phone in surprise.

you huff. “you know you get cold easily. i don’t understand why you don’t just bring gloves wherever you go.”

the corners of danielle’s lips curl up, and you feel a fleeting sensation on your cheek before she pulls back. “it’s because you’re here—i don’t need gloves. thank you, hehe, i love you!”

“that’s—that’s not—” you stammer, blinking rapidly before sighing, “i love you too. but you still have an ungloved hand.”

your girlfriend tilts her head, like a puppy trying to understand something that was said to it. then, she reaches over and grabs your own ungloved hand, intertwining your fingers. “see? now we’re both warm. oh right, the picture. here, look!”

danielle’s phone screen is displaying a crayoned drawing, with two stick figures standing on snow and holding hands. there’s also the classic yellow sun in the corner of the paper, which you giggle at. the left stick figure is labeled “ms. y/n” and the right one is labeled “ms. marsh.” 

it is so incredibly endearing that you might just tear up. “dani, this is so cute. why didn’t you show me earlier, you gatekeeper! you hung it up, right?”

“i didn’t mean to! i wanted to show you in person but i got too excited…” danielle pouts, looking like a kicked puppy. that’s no good. you squeeze your entwined hands, and she’s back to smiling. she pockets her phone and turns to face you, looking up into your eyes. “and yes, i did hang it up. it’s stuck to my fridge with heart magnets. jane’s finest work, if i may.”

“good,” you reply. “where it belongs.”

she giggles, and really you can’t resist now. you have tjo express all the affection that’s been bubbling up in your heart at some point. taking your unoccupied hand to cup her cheek, you lean in and capture danielle’s lips into a deep kiss, unhurried and loving—slow to savor the moment, tasting the cocoa she had earlier.

unfortunately, you are human and humans do need air, so you just have to break apart and catch your breath. 

to your surprise, danielle buries her face into your neck and squeals. “y/nnie, you’re so cool!” she pulls away and laughs, “must you always find a way to sweep me off my feet?”

you shake your head, grinning. “of course, m’lady, it is my duty, after all. now, we have a snowman to build, don’t we?”

twenty minutes pass and you’ve found some suitable sticks to act as the hands and also a few stones to use for the buttons after the body was finished. danielle’s just finished drawing the face on the snowman, since neither of you thought to bring loose buttons or coal to your café date. darn!

as soon as you finish wrapping your scarf around its neck, danielle spins you around and poses for a selfie, catching you off guard and with a shocked expression on your face. after a few clicks, she takes your hand and makes you fall backward with her, the sheer audacity of the series of events that just happened leaving you unable to do anything but laugh.

“let’s make snow angels, y/n!” danielle exclaims, beginning to move her arms and legs side to side, flinging snow all around her, including your clothes.

it’s been a long time since you’ve had so much fun in the snow like this. impromptu snowball fights between your friend group happened far more often when you were still in undergrad—gathering outside of minji’s house during break, a familiar setting since high school, and getting snuck up on and pelted with a snowball by none other than lee hyein.

in high school, it used to be just you, minji, and occasionally your sisters when they were free, being two years older than you. then when you graduated and ended up at the same university close to home, minji met hanni, and hanni brought along danielle, and a year later haerin came. and it turns out, she’s actually really close with hyein. 

you will forever be grateful for that one night that hyein, minji and hanni decided to go buy convenience store snacks at two in the morning. because if they hadn’t, danielle wouldn’t have woken up by the sound of the door opening when they left, her head lifting from the couch cushions and leaning on your shoulder instead. and in the quiet of her apartment, some christmas movie playing on the forgotten tv, haerin passed out on the bean bag on your right, she wouldn’t have confessed that she had the biggest crush on you since two weeks after you first met.

danielle’s laughter fills the air, and you’re pulled the slightest bit back into reality. snow angels. you used to force sohyun and nakyoung to make them with you all the time. hmm… it’s nearly christmas. you’ll be coming home for the holidays, and danielle hasn’t talked about coming back to australia for christmas.

“something on your mind?” your girlfriend notices your silence and pause in your snow angel-making, sitting up and looking at you with concern.

you blink, sitting up as well. your snow angels look like they’re holding hands because of how close the two of you landed after falling. “no,” you shake your head with a smile, “it’s nothing. what should we name our snowman?”

she pretends to think, but you already know her answer. nevertheless, she says it anyway, and you let her. because she’s never gotten sick of the bit and you’ll never get sick of her smile. “i think we should name it jerry.”

“seriously?” you laugh.

and in the end, your parents love danielle anyway and sohyun and nakyoung spoil her more than they spoil you. it probably wasn’t just the kids in danielle’s class thinking about when you’re going to propose. but it’ll have to be after you pass the bar exam, and after you get hired at a nice law firm.

nevermind that. you should take danielle with you to stay with your family for the holidays. maybe you can all make a snow angel family together. 

…yeah, that sounds nice.

a/n : ok so this came like nearly 4 hours late but happy day 1! hope u enjoy ur meal ☺️ woaw i kinda missed writing for tumblr woaw i love danielle marsh who agrees 123iwantyuri!!!

[yerimbrit]

an's christmas pop-up shop!

extra, extra! . . . an's ⊹˚₊ 3 day christmas pop-up shop ₊˚⊹ has opened!

please enjoy this short event for the holidays!! ꒰⑅ •̥ ꒳ •̥ ⑅꒱ ·° ‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹

shop hours ~ ꉂ(˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵)

day one - december 23rd [11am–2pm]

special menu: snowmen, a timeless art staff on duty: danielle marsh desc: remember those childhood days spent frolicking in the snowy delights of winter? after a heavy snowfall and a nice, warm cup of cocoa—enjoyed with a family member, friend, or perhaps lover—why don't you relive an old memory and go build a snowman?

day two - december 24th [4pm–6pm]

special menu: a swan on ice staff on duty: ji suhyeon - jiyeon ! ≽^•⩊•^≼ desc: ballerinas are known to be elegant, graceful, and poised—much like a swan. but have you ever wondered how they fare on ice? the downtown skating rink is open on christmas eve, so let's see how the ballerina's ice skating skills compare to your figure skating skills!

day three - december 25th [11:30pm–12am]

special menu: bear hugs are perfect for winter staff on duty: kim minji desc: so maybe you're the type of couple that's mushy and buys extra gifts for each other separate from the friend group's gift exchange. so what? the crackling fireplace in the lodge you and your friends are staying at is provides cozy warmth, but perhaps a back hug from a human bear would provide more comfort as you unwrap these special gifts.

ദ്ദി◝ ⩊ ◜.ᐟ updates to the schedule will be posted at 12am pst on the day of! . . . stay tuned!

a/n : hiiii finals were grueling but at least they're over HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!! #noticed tumblr has been lowk... dry to say the least. and i'm sorry for quietly going on hiatus LOL but i thought it'd be fun to do a little winter event before the end of 2025! hopefully i can be on time like i did with flufftober... wish me luck and most importantly, enjoy [cool]

[nwjnsloona]

YIPPEEEEEEE

[nwjnsloona]

recently i came to the realisation that i am definitely a better fanartist than a fanfic writer so. yeah. make of that what you will

[nwjnsloona]

nwjnsblr revival??????????

[nwjnsloona]

— only cry in the rain 🌧️

synopsis :: as you look through your childhood home, you find a camcorder.

< pairing ! > liz x fem!reader

< tags ! > ambiguous ending, angst i guess?, childhood friends to nothing, i dont even rmb what i wrote

< wordcount ! > 900 words

< warnings ! > none i think

the old cuckoo clock cries at three in the afternoon as you open another cardboard box in your childhood home.

inside is a camcorder, the one you liked best as a teenager. you take it out of the box gently, quickly fiddling with the settings until you reach the first video.

— 2016/10/21 00:15:76

you are center frame, eyes locked on a subject close to the camcorder. “is this on?” you mouth. the voice behind the camera— jiwon— whispers a quiet, “yes,” and you clear your throat.

“hi! my name is-” your voice immediately cracks, and laughter can be heard as the camera is pointed abruptly towards the floor before the video immediately cuts.

— 2016/10/21 01:04:32

this video is obviously more rehearsed than the one before, as when the video starts you immediately start talking.

“hi! my name is lee yn, and the year is 2016 and my bestest friend in the world kim jiwon is filming!” the camera pans to show a blonde girl smiling, then pans back to show you.

“in 2016, we have really cool stuff, like-”

“why are we doing this?”

“in case someone from the future finds it!”

“aren’t you going to keep it?”

“well, just in case…”

the conversation continues back and forth until the recording eventually ends, neither girl winning.

— 2016/12/31 03:24:97

“it’s almost new years!” you shout excitedly into the camera.

“yeah!” jiwon joins in, showing the camcorder the clock which displays the time 11:59. one minute left. there is no-one else in the room, just you and jiwon.

the sound of other people can be heard in the distance. five! four! three! two! one! happy new year!

“happy new year,” you say to jiwon, the camera facing back to you now.

you press a kiss to jiwon’s cheek and she squeals, running away.

“yn kissed me!” she says to the video.

“come back!” you complain in the background, laughing.

you smile, reminiscing. that was the day when you realised you liked jiwon, her pink cheeks and toothy smile seeming brighter against the dim lights of midnight on new year’s.

 — 2017/01/20 00:12:84

you and jiwon are at a park, still in your school uniforms. you hold two drinks in your hand, one for you and one for jiwon. the camera moves towards you teasingly, and you glare at it, then burst into laughter.

— 2017/03/18

“we took polaroids!” jiwon says, showing the pictures off to the camera.

“don’t you think it’s funny that we’re showing a picture of us to a video camera?”

“i think it’s cute,” jiwon says, and the pout in her voice is evident despite the fact she isn’t in frame.

“wait me too! i just think it’s also funny!”

“okay…” jiwon replies, and turns the camera.

you’re resting your chin on jiwon’s shoulder from behind. you make a peace sign with your hands, and jiwon follows you, smiling.

the video ends.

— 2017/03/28 00:07:12

the scene is blurry, your hands unsteady, before it eventually focuses.

you zoom in on her face. “she’s so pretty,” you mutter under your breath.

— 2017/04/04 01:10:12

you and jiwon are in school. your pencil cases sit side by side on jiwon’s desk.

“look!” jiwon says, reaching with one hand for the keyrings on your pencil cases, “they’re matching!”

“i bought them,” you say proudly.

“yeah, she bought them,” jiwon says. she turns the camera and points at you with her free hand, and you start posing.

the other videos are all similar, slices of you and jiwon’s life interspersed with clips of you filming jiwon’s face— until you get to the last one.

— 2018/11/21 08:21:98

it’s almost a year apart from the rest of the videos, and you know instantly what’s in it.

“it’s jiwon’s birthday,” you start, although you are not in frame, just your desk. your voice trembles slightly.

“so, i just wanted to say some things that- that remind me of her.” some rustling is heard, and you produce something from a drawer.

“first, these polaroids. we took them together, and she took one of them and it was the best one but-” you exhale shakily. “i don’t even know if she has it anymore. second, this keychain. she got it for me to match with her.”

“and third… this camcorder i’m filming on right now. she always used to film us together, but… i don’t think it’s going to happen anymore. i ruined it. jiwon, i’m sorry.” the camcorder is barely filming anymore, and you set it on the desk. 

“please,” your voice sounds raw, pained, “please be my friend again, jiwon. i won’t- i’m not-!”

it all comes back to you. you and jiwon, sitting together watching the sunset. you were young, foolish then. you lean in to whisper, “jiwon, i… like you.”

her eyes go wide. “what?”

suddenly, jiwon is not there anymore. and she won’t talk to you, and you don’t know why, until one day after days of begging she finally says something to you.

“my parents said i can’t be friends with,” she lowers her voice, “a lesbian.”

your eyes well up with tears.

“i swear, i’m not—! i’m not a-”

you sniffle behind the camera, and—

the cuckoo clock cries at four in the afternoon.

you shut off the camcorder, and gently touch your cheek. it’s wet with tears. the rain beats down on the window and you sigh, drying your eyes, and get up to open another box.

the camcorder still lies on the ground.

a/n : idk if this is good i literally wrote it in one sitting…….. anyways STREAM ONLY CRY IN THE RAIN BY CHUU!!!!

[nwjnsloona]

— abcdefgh[i]jklmnopqrstuvwxyz —

⋆ ★ ive masterlist ★ ⋆

“this late night conversation,”

gaeul !

↳ n/a

yujin !

↳ n/a

wonyoung !

↳ n/a

rei !

↳ n/a

liz !

↳ only cry in the rain (a)

leeseo!

↳ n/a

“멈추지 않아…”

[nwjnsloona]

neighbourjeans

[nwjnsloona]

does anyone have any suggestions for a short fic like a really short fic i couls write............ dying to write smth vv short PLEASE

[aettuddae]

business matter — 143. i choose you and me, religiously.

↳ synopsis: two of the most important kpop companies covet a partnership with a huge global brand, only to be surprised when the deal is extended to both labels. fearing potential sabotage and cynical strategies to secure exclusivity for just one of them, both CEOs resort to desperate measures. in a bid to maintain trust and prevent betrayal before the signing, they come up with a pact: forcing a fake relationship between the leaders of their star girlgroups. if one side attempted to fail the other, they threaten to expose it all to the conservative south korea.

masterlist | prev

[written chapter]

23:57.

karina found herself running through the people who had attended that party.

end of the year. after a peculiar 2024, full of surprises and new people, of different emotions and discoveries, they were finally just 3 minutes away from a new year. as was customary, people all over the world were throwing parties to celebrate the beginning of 2025 with their family and friends, and for the celebrities in seoul there was also a selection to attend. among the options was the party that rosé from blackpink had organized on the top floor of a luxurious building whose terrace overlooked the center of the city.

the entire korean entertainment elite was there, from top actors to models to members of the biggest bands you could imagine. it was the party among parties. but at first, karina had other plans. she couldn't go back to her family because of work, but she still wanted to spend a quiet night at the apartment with her roommates. and that's what they were going to do,

until she found out that serim would be at rosé's party.

of course, serim would go wherever jennie kim told her to go. serim loved going to parties. she loved being around people, socializing, dancing. karina didn't dislike it when it came to her, but it certainly got her blood boiling with that quality of serim's. she didn't like her to be perceived. that's why when they talked about their plans for the end of the year, serim was hesitant to tell her. it's not that she wanted to hide things from her, she just wanted to avoid the eye rolling and sour comments for a couple more days until she eventually told the blackhaired about her plans.

listen, jimin is not crazy,

she just has serious jealousy issues,

and she's obsessed with jang serim.

when they decided to spend the night at the apartment and welcome the new year quietly and together, the aespa members already knew that the plan hung by a thread. that thread was whatever serim decided to do that night. as soon as jimin told them that jennie was taking jang to the rosé party, giselle was already texting the hostess to get her to put them on the guest list.

serim didn't mind at all. jimin was busy and every second they could spend together was gold to jang. she loved spending time with the younger girl. all night, they had been glued together like gum, drinking, chatting, flirting and dancing to the music. they were so into their own world that none of their friends thought it was weird that they disappeared for an hour and left them to make friends with each other while they had their make out session in a dark, secluded area of the terrace.

but as punishment for abandoning them, as soon as they returned with their companions, aeri, minjeong and yizhuo had forced jimin to go with them to get some air outside. winter was dizzy, while the rest were all sore and tired from dancing. they just wanted to take a break and get some fresh air, and the blackhaired had to accept it even though it was torture for her to be even two centimeters away from serim, who stayed on the dance floor with her friends.

but it was okay, jimin understood that part of forcing her members to follow her to a party when her plans were quite different had its requirements. she patiently stood there chatting with her bandmates and waiting for them to pull themselves together to go back inside, while minjeong downed a bottle of water to regain her five senses.

she was calm until she turned on her phone and saw the time.

23:57.

three minutes to new year's. she began to hurry the others back inside, where rosé's voice could already be heard through a microphone preparing to count down to midnight. they passed through the crowd quietly until they reached where serim was supposed to be with her friends, but no one was there.

23:58.

jimin turned on her phone. "we accompanied jennie to the bathroom." read a text from serim from 5 minutes ago.

the girl told her friends that she was going to look for the oldest and without waiting for an answer, she ran out, pushing through the people and making her way to the bathroom area. she entered the women's one, but there was no one there. they weren't there anymore.

she searched her phone for the woman's contact and called her. she could hear little because of the loudness of the hostess's voice over the speakers and the whispering of the large number of people at the party, but she finally managed to hear that they were on the terrace because they wanted to see the fireworks. when she hung up, she sent a quick message to giselle to tell them to go to the terrace and again, she hurried upstairs.

23:59.

she had to be serim's new year's kiss, she couldn't miss it. the elevator was busy so she took the stairs, which were not easy to climb as she was wearing heels and moving in such a hurry.

10.

everyone started shouting when they heard that the countdown had begun. jimin was on the terrace, but although she searched through the crowd, she couldn't find serim. she kept wandering around the area, her heart pounding and her breathing hectic. she looked worried and upset.

5.

she passed through a large group that was blocking her view and so she appeared at the front, almost at the edge where the wall that kept people from falling was located. as she was spat out from the crowd, she finally spotted the girl's back in the distance and hurried toward her.

3.

she ran towards serim.

2.

she reached where she was and hurriedly touched her waist, signaling her to turn towards her.

1.

serim turned to see who was pinned to her torso, turning in the arms of the younger who was visibly exhausted and trying to catch her breath as she looked up at her smiling. serim slipped her arm over the younger's body to wrap her in her hold and rest her hand on her waist while her other hand was busy with a drink.

"happy new year, baby." she said very close to her face so she could hear her amidst the shouts of congratulations from all around and the sound of fireworks.

"happy new year, my namu." she replied glad that she was able to get there in time to tell her.

jimin lifted her hands that were resting around serim's waist, sliding them up the older girl's body until she was holding her face between her fingers and pulling her close until they could connect their lips in their first kiss of the year under the moonlight in front of the fireworks show in the sky.

"it's the first year we've started together." serim observed as they pulled apart.

"it's the first of many." assured the younger girl as her hand caressed her opposite's cheek. "i thought i wouldn't get here in time to be your first kiss of the year." she stretched her neck slightly to reach up to leave a peck on the opposite's nose. "i'm always running back to you." she smiled sideways, accompanying her flirtatious comment.

"as you should." serim laughed softly and wrinkled her nose playfully to tease her. "come here." she indicated leaning down to kiss her again.

after the arrival of the new year and the end of the fireworks show the party continued, causing most of the people who were on the terrace waiting to see the colorful flames in the sky to start going down to the lower floor to return to the celebration. serim was leaning back against the edge with karina in her arms who had her hands glued to her face caressing and pampering her, so lost in each other and their conversation that they were practically alone on top of the building and that even their friends had returned downstairs.

"you know, yves wished ningie a happy new year." commented the blackhaired causing the older girl to grimace in surprise.

"what can i say." she looked up with mock pride. "she's a gentlewoman." she shrugged jokingly.

"yizhuo can do better." she refuted, shaking her head.

"better than sooyoung? impossible."

"she's a little weird." she furrowed her eyebrows pretending to be worried. "i hope she'll take care of my baby." she closed her eyes in grief.

"she'll take care of her." she assured her. "don't worry." she ran a lock of jimin's hair tucking it behind her ear. "she's a good girl."

"and you?" she looked at her expectantly.

"me?" she pointed her index finger at herself. "i'm awesome."

"no, idiot." she slapped her shoulder in embarrassment. "if you're going to take care of me." she elaborated.

"oh." she mumbled after understanding what she meant. "of course i'll take care of you." she affirmed, then leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"if you cheat on me i'll kill you." she looked into her eyes seriously.

"all right."

"i am serious, jang serim, i will kill you." she reiterated with a dark gaze, swearing every word.

"as if i have eyes for anyone else." she cocked her head to the side with narrowed eyes judging her, incredulous. "i would never hurt you." she promised.

"you better." she pointed her finger at her accusingly.

"either way," jimin turned her head abruptly, looking at her with eyes wide in surprise at the very idea that she might regret what she just promised. "you have to be my girlfriend for me to cheat on you." she raised her hands in the air innocently.

"no, sorry, serim." she pulled away, putting a hand between them, stopping her words. "your love life dies in me." she laughed sourly. "since we said 'i love you' to each other for the first time, you are doomed to me." she warned.

"what do you mean by that?" she folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. "that you don't feel the need to be my girlfriend?"

"you're already my girlfriend." she copied the action of intertwining her arms over her chest, defiantly.

"no." she contradicted her. "we never established it, so we're not."

"are you saying you're single?" she clenched her fist.

"i'm saying you should ask me to be your girlfriend." she explained. "look." she turned and with her hand pointed toward the city. "we have the best view in seoul, the night is starry." she walked up to the younger girl and put her hands on her waist, trapping her in her arms. "it's new year." she murmured. "you look beautiful." she commented, earning a smile from jimin that came with a roll of her eyes at the compliment. "you love me and i love you." she added.

"and why don't you ask me?"

"no." she broke contact, pulling away and giving her a defensive look. "make amends for your mistakes." she claimed.

jimin sighed. serim was right. after so many months of doing things wrong here was her chance to have what she wanted most in the world, to have serim. the terrace was empty, it was a moment that belonged only to them. the sky was splendid, it was a beautiful night, a cool wind was blowing, but it wasn't cold, and it was a new year.

new year, new beginnings.

jimin smiled sideways, an idea popped into her head, and she approached serim. she took her hands in hers and looked into her eyes. "don't laugh at what i'm going to do." she took a breath of air.

"oh my god, you're going to sing?" the mere thought caused serim to be unable to contain a giggle that escaped her lips.

"namu!" she punched her arm gently, nagging at her.

"sorry, it's just that i imagined you asking me to be your girlfriend while you sing up." she shook her head trying to erase the idea.

"i write you a song and this is how you treat me." she bit her lower lip trying to contain the smitten grimace that was blossoming on her.

when the funny moment dissipated, they both looked seriously into each other's eyes again, to which jimin took the opportunity to clear her throat and catch her breath again to start singing a song.

"cause maybe, baby..." she began softly keeping the tenderness in the way she looked at serim. "i just wanna do you, do you..." she sang in the highest pitched voice. "do you wanna do me? do me?" she moved her shoulders up and down to the rhythm of the song and with her finger pointed at the older one. "underneath the moonlight, the moonlight." she pointed to the sky. "baby, maybe-" the girl sang excitedly, moving more and more with the song.

"stop, stop, stop." she interrupted her in horror. "stop it, dylan." she identified the modern family song she was singing. "i can't believe you ruined it like that." she covered her face in embarrassment.

jimin would have refuted her disappointment, but she was too busy choking on the laughter her own joke had generated, bending over her body trying to catch her breath. serim could only look at her skeptically, unable to understand how she had found it so funny.

"oh my god." the younger girl pulled herself together, straightening up and turning back to face her partner still letting out the occasional laugh. "how does it feel to love such a funny person?"

"i could leave you in this very moment."

"not true." she grabbed her face between her hands and pulled her to her to leave a chaste kiss on her lips. "you love me too much." she reminded as she broke apart. "this time for real." she positioned herself again, taking in puffs of air to calm her fit of laughter.

"no, i don't want to anymore." serim shook her head sideways in denial.

"yes, come on." she struggled to take her hands as the older one pulled them away from her grasp. "come here." she tugged on her grip to pull her into her personal space.

silence reigned again and though serim was unsure as to the direction the moment would take, this time jimin was solemn, focused, she was looking at her like someone looking at a shooting star while making a wish. it was that kind of tenderness, that kind of desire.

"so excuse me forgetting..." she mumbled, she wasn't intoning yet, but rather speaking the lyrics. "but these things i do," she let out shyly. "you see i've forgotten..." she raised her voice so the words could be heard more clearly. "if they're green or they're blue." a little more confidently, she began to sing the sentences. "anyway the thing is, what i really mean..." she released serim's hands to wrap herself around her torso. "yours are the sweetest eyes i've ever seen..."

now that she was singing decisively, serim had let her guard down and was lost in the way jimin was watching her. she could see in the way she was moving that she was nervous, that she was embarrassed to open up like that, and she appreciated knowing that she was still doing it to express her feelings for her in some way. she wasn't used to being sung to, so she didn't know how to react, but she understood, they were both artists and if there was anything they were in love with apart from each other, it was music. jimin's voice fascinated her, she could listen to it for hours.

"and you can tell everybody..." as the younger one sang, they both swayed to the beat. "this is your song." serim smiled tenderly at that part of the lyrics. "it may be quite simple, but," serim's hands rested on jimin's neck. "now that it's done." jimin raised her touch to the woman's nape to push it to bring their foreheads together. "i hope you don't mind... i hope you don't mind..." she lowered her voice so that if there was anyone else in the place they couldn't hear, only serim. "that i put down in words..."

"how wonderful life is..." serim joined in and now they were singing in unison. "while you're in the world." they finished together.

they both stayed in that intimate position, one against the other, holding themselves and dancing alone on the terrace in the new year for a moment, serim closed her eyes to enjoy the moment and jimin kept them open because she wanted to see her, she always wanted to see her, she wanted to be able to appreciate serim's beauty for the rest of her life.

"elton john?" serim inquired when they both stopped, lifting her eyelids so she could look at her, her forehead still pressed against the opposite one.

"moulin rouge." she corrected. "it's the only musical i know any songs from." she confessed. "and you know..." she put on a confident expression. "my girl likes musicals."

serim scoffed at her attitude. "yeah." she nodded in agreement. "your girl likes musicals."

"my girl?" she repeated. "so you agree to be my girlfriend?"

"you haven't asked me yet."

"jang serim." she called out to her and wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling her even closer, their bodies pressed against each other, their faces so close she wanted to kiss her as soon as possible. "will you be my girlfriend?" she asked, her eyes sparkling and her heart beating faster than she would have imagined.

"no."

"what?" she exclaimed offended and abruptly turned away from the oldest. "serim." she watched her as the named laughed frantically at her reaction. "serim, be my girlfriend." she commanded. "serim." she quickly approached her and began to push her arm repeatedly as if asking her to stop teasing. "namu." she herself couldn't hold back her laughter at seeing the contrary so amused, but still she kept hitting her gently to make her stop. "hey." she wanted to grab her arm to pull her closer, but serim wouldn't let her, so they started to struggle. "be my girlfriend." she reiterated exerting force trying to win serim over. "love me." she jumped on the spot anxiously because she couldn't stand the joke the older girl was playing on her. "namu!" she squealed shrilly.

"okay, okay." she raised her arms in the air, thus giving way for jimin to latch on to her waist. "i love you." she assured. "and i do want to be your girlfriend." she wrapped the girl in her grip.

"really?" she raised her eyebrow dubiously.

"really." she affirmed. "from now on i'm all yours."

jimin let out a little squeal of excitement and jumped repeatedly on the spot to then pounce on the older girl and catch her in their first kiss as an official couple.

"puppy!" a shout echoed through serim's apartment after the sound of the door closing.

it could have been just one person, other than that jang recognized the voice instantly, so she rushed out of her room to find her girlfriend in the living. she ran towards her catching her in a tight hug and lifting her slightly off the floor as she held her.

"hi, baby." she leaned forward with her eyes closed waiting patiently for jimin to give her a kiss and shaking her body slightly once she did.

"hello, namu." she replied after kissing her then continuing to fill her face with pecks.

"how are you, my love?" asked serim as she watched the girl arrange her things on the table.

"i'm fine." she answered in a good mood. "happy to see you." she gave her a smile and dropped forward being caught in serim's arms to kiss her lips again. "is sejeong here?" she straightened up and inspected the apartment looking for her girlfriend's roommate.

"no." she denied, rounding the kitchen island to face the younger girl. "she's in her apartment because she's starting the move back in there." she reported.

"is she leaving already?" she inquired arranging the things she had brought with her.

"she's been living here for a while." she recalled. "she thinks i'm better now, so she's leaving."

"that's good." she put her elbows on the table and leaned back on her arms. "i do think you are better too." she agreed. "it makes me happy to see you like this."

serim smiled shyly. she had been eating better, at first it was because of sejeong's help controlling her at meal times, but lately it was of her own free will. she was happier, she had even been smoking a little less and sleeping at reasonable times. jimin stretched her arm across the counter to give her cheek a caress.

"i brought you a present." she announced excitedly.

"presents!" she celebrated.

the younger girl took a bag and put it between both of them, opened it, reached inside and from it pulled out a small plant with heart-shaped leaves, lifted it in the air and showed it proudly, painting a big smile on her face.

"it's a plant!" happily introduced the blackhaired.

"i see!" she said wryly.

"don't you like it?" she pouted and set the plant down on the counter.

"no, love." jimin dropped her shoulders in disappointment. "i love it!" she exclaimed and then picked up the pot to begin to inspect it. her passion for gardening making kicking in instantly, making the girl pry at the soil and the state of the leaves.

"do you really like it?" she received no response and that was exactly what she needed because she understood that her hyperfixation was acting up and that was a sign that she was excited about the gift. "namu." she called out to her softly with a smile.

"what, my love?" she replied without looking up from the gift.

"do you like it?" she leaned over the counter looking at her with enamored eyes.

"it fascinates me." she raised her eyes to finally connect with hers. "i didn't have one of these." she lunged forward to press a kiss to her lips. "thank you."

"it's a hoya kerly." she reported trying to remember the plant's proper name.

"hoya kerrii." she corrected amused, looking at her tenderly at her mistake.

"that." she dropped her head. "i don't know anything about plants." she covered her face in embarrassment.

"my love." she laughed and took her hands to remove them from her face. "you don't need to know about plants just because i like them." she tried to calm her down. "i'll teach you and you'll learn."

"but i wanted to present it well because it has a special meaning." she explained frustrated.

"it's the plant of the heart." she deduced.

"yes." she confirmed. "it represents love and harmony." she added. "i bought it for us.

"really?"

"yes." she nodded. "i want us to take care of it together." she looked at the pot. "let it be like our love sapling." she finished, her cheeks turning red at the confession.

"how corny you are." a smile broke out on her face as she watched her blush. "i love you."

"i love you too."

"and we're going to be very careful with our baby." she pointed to the plant. "for a long time." she walked around the table back to where jimin was. "what shall we name it?" she took her face in her hands.

"i have a name in mind." she admitted. "but it's even cheesier." she hid her face in serim's chest.

"tell me." she encouraged. "we're in love and happy, we have permission to be cheesy." she reassured.

"canada." she announced without removing her face from the security provided by the older.

"how?"

"canada." she repeated, this time speaking to her face.

"why canada?"

"because so!yoon is our favorite artist." she explained, referring to the singer's song.

"i like it." she agreed. "i only want you close to me." she quoted the song's lyrics.

"you're the one for me, half of my body, half of my mind." the younger girl continued.

"canada." she assured.

"she's our love."

"and we're going to take care of it for a long time." guaranteed serim. "together."

"together."

— the end.

#

[a/n: thanks to everyone who read. this was one hell of a ride and it wouldn't have been possible without all of you. ♡]

(!)

— taglist [CLOSED]: @yoontoonwhs @cwpiqwon @aliceiwk @xen248 @gtfoiydlyj @rinapomu @aeriuchinarga @multiliker @somedaydream @impossiblesharkcashrebel @yjiminswallet @nwjnsloona @yerimbrit @73vyn @dni-unavailable @yizhuobberi @sewiouslyz @yeetaberry127 @masuowo @yallatalla @chaenniefirst @minfolio @starrynini05 @hotluvlet @wmnrhot @mineige @lisaswifey @brocoliisscared @fae-the-wanderer @vivilvr

[nwjnsloona]

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[paradisedumpling]

Lucky

TROPE: best friends to lovers; non-idol!au

CONTENT WARNING: slightly suggestive jokes and minor swearing; otherwise all fluff

SYNOPSIS: who would've thought going camping with your best friend would lead to a confession

A/N: hi! if you feel like you've seen this before, you probably have. this is a repost from my old vlog, enjoy!

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"Alright guys! Are you all ready?" Minji's dad clapped his hands together after he closed the trunk of his car.

"Yes!" You all agreed with excitement. The six of you, plus Minji's family, are going to spend the first week of summer break at their lake house and you were all very excited about it.

"Dani unnie, come sit with me and Minji!" Haerin unlaced her arm from yours and pulled Danielle in her direction as she hurriedly entered the car after her girlfriend.

You looked at their disappearing figures with betrayal all over your features. You knew exactly why she did that. A warmth sensation started spreading over your face when you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders.

"Ready to go, pretty?" You didn't have to look at Hanni's face to tell she had a smile on her face. You simply nodded at the girl and followed her inside the car, avoiding eye contact with her as you did so.

As soon as you entered the car and closed the door, you turned around to give Haerin a panicked look. But she only smirked at you, eyes traveling to Hanni beside you and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. You sighed in frustration and turned around, feeling your face warm, hoping Hanni wouldn't notice your face and how stiff you were beside her.

The thing is, you had a massive crush on your friend Hanni. It had been a couple of years since you'd known her and had slightly different feelings for the vietnamese girl compared to your feelings for your other friends. But it had only been recently that you had realized what your feelings for the girl at your side were and now everytime you were with her, you'd become a blushing mess.

Haerin, being your ride or die, and also a very observant person, was the first one to know about your crush on Hanni, although you were pretty sure she told Minji since the two of them started dating a few months ago. The older girl always gives you two suggestive glances whenever you and Hanni are together. And the cat-like girl has been trying to set you two up at any moment she got. Including right now. On this five hour car ride. Where you'll spend all of this time sitting beside Hanni. The thought made your face get even more warm than before, fingers playing with each other at your lap.

"You okay, girl? Your face is all red." Hanni looked at you in concern as Minji's dad started the car, putting her hand on your forehead and then on your neck, frowning. "You're warm." You swear you heard Haerin snickering at the backseat.

"I-I'm okay, Han. It's just the weather. You know how I am during the summer." You muttered, trying your best to give her a smile that didn't look awkward. She looked at you for a few seconds, but seemed satisfied with your response as she nodded and turned to talk to Hyein.

You occupied yourself with watching the street, leaning your head against the window and taking deep breaths in hope of calming your lovestruck heart.

It worked for a few minutes, until you felt wind being fanned in your face and you looked around confused, seeing Hanni smiling at you as she fanned you with a paper fan.

You blinked for a few seconds, feeling yourself getting flustered again at the kind gesture. "Thank you, Hanni. Won't your arms get tired, though?" You looked at her hand. She was fanning pretty fast. "I can do it myself if it's too much for you."

"Nonsense!" She simply smiled at you and you failed notice how her eyes sparkled at the cute way you were looking at her. "My girl's hot and I'll gladly cool her down if I can." You knew she didn't mean it that way, but your mind short-circuited at her words and this time you knew for sure Haerin was laughing at your red face and dazed expression.

You only hummed softly at her words, avoiding eye contact and leaning to lay your head on Hanni's shoulder, partially wanting to get her gaze off of your face, and partially hoping with this new angle she would get some of the air on herself too. The weather was indeed warm and you weren't sure if the air-conditioner would be effective with seven people in the car anytime soon.

"You're cute." Hanni giggled as she booped your nose, turning her head to bicker with Minji about a comment she made you honestly didn't hear. The only thing you could hear was your heart pounding in your ears.

You closed your eyes and took deep breaths, once again trying to calm yourself down. Hanni was still your friend and you didn't want to make things weird, specially because you knew she would eventually realize you only reacted that way with her. Hyein was already taking notice of your exclusive behavior around Hanni. It wouldn't take too long for her to realize too. And you didn't want to ruin your friendship over a stupid crush.

You felt your phone vibrating inside your pocket and you opened your eyes to grab it and unlock the screen, seeing a message from Haerin. You looked back at the younger girl before going to answer her.

bro's a cat 🐈: You're such a fool in love.

You rolled your eyes at the text, looking back at her once again to give her an annoyed face before quickly replying.

You: Said the one that would blush and giggle everytime Minji looked at you before you became official.

You smirked to yourself as you pressed send, suppressing a laugh as an answer came only seconds after.

bros a cat 🐈: I DID NOT GIGGLE.

Was the reply, alongside an angry cat emoji. It made your smirk get bigger, the tip of your tongue between your teeth as you felt mischievous with the opportunity to tease your friend back.

You: YES YOU DID.

You: I bet you still do.

You quickly typed something else as the three dots signaling Haerin was replying appeared.

You: Minji has you wrapped around her fingers so bad you don't even listen to people's opinions anymore.

You heard Haerin gasp from the backseat, turning around to catch her with an embarrassed face and red cheeks.

You: Only baby Minji's.

"What's with you two?" Danielle asked as you and Haerin shared looks, laughing at the catlike girl's clear embarrassed face at whatever you texted her.

"She's teasing me!" Haerin's squeal got the attention of the other girls as she pointed at you accusingly.

"You started it!" You were quick to defend yourself, looking at Minji's questioning face, one of her eyebrows raised. "She called me a fool, Minji!" This time, you were the one pointing at the other girl.

"Let's not fight in the car, girls!" Minji's dad yelled from the driver's seat, looking at the six of you through the rearview mirror.

"Dad's right." Minji said with a sigh. Although she knew you two never fought and just bickered, she didn't want to stress her dad any more than he already was. He wasn't exactly happy about being the one driving the six of you alone, since her mom was in another car with her brother, sister and grandma. "Rinnie, stop teasing her. You know that's mean and she's trying her best." The three of you shared knowing looks at her last statement. "And you stop teasing my girlfriend! She's only trying to help." Minji pulled Haerin closer and planted a kiss to her temple, making you and the others groan at the PDA.

"Geez, go killing the mood with your couple stuff." Hanni rolled her eyes, nudging your shoulders to get your attention. "Can you believe them?" She whispered to you. "Wasn't Minji the one to establish a 'rule' to not do couple stuff around us?" You giggled between yourselves, leaning against each other as you tried not to laugh loudly and get caught by the older girl.

"You're all just mad you're single." Minji teased and you had to hold Hanni back from firing back, glancing at Minji's dad looking nervously between the rearview mirror and the road.

"Let's see how you guys will be when there's a new couple in the group." Hyein said, laughing to herself as the five of you looked at her in shock.

"You're not crushing on anyone are you?"

"You know you're not allowed to date, Hyein-ah! You're too young!"

"Who's the person? Sorry, kid. I need to have.... a conversation with them."

"You're not allowed to date, end of debate."

"Absolutely not!"

Hyein blinked as she stared at the five of you after being bombarded with your disapproval of her dating anyone. "I wasn't talking about me though?" And then she looked at you.

"Glad you weren't. Cause even if you were, we wouldn't allow it." Hanni said, clueless as the other girls caught on Hyein's eyes on you, also staring as your face grew red again.

The car was silent for the next seconds, only being filled with Hanni asking Minji's dad to put a playlist on. You could feel all the other four girls staring at you and now you knew all of them knew about your crush on Hanni, except the girl in question.

"Wait." Hanni suddenly said, Perfect by One Direction now playing in the car, turning to look at the youngest in the group. "If it wasn't you then who was it?" You stared at Hyein and shook your head violently, silently begging her not to say anything too obvious.

"Hm.... No one!" She squealed. "You're just all old enough to date and Haerin unnie and Minji unnie are already dating so it's only a matter of time until the rest of you find someone too that's what I meant!" She rambled quickly, giving you and the vietnamese girl an awkward smile. You mouthed a 'thank you' to her, which seemed to calm her down a bit as Hanni only shrugged her shoulders and nodded at the girl.

"Oh! I love this part!" Danielle chimed in, starting to sing the song, hoping to change the subject and make everyone's mood more bright. You felt grateful for that and you were sure Hyein was too, after almost spilling the beans about your apparent not so subtle crush on Hanni.

"This girl, I swear." Hanni mumbled to you, giggling quietly to herself before joining Danielle on the song.

You giggled nervously, looking at her as you got mesmerized by the sight of her singing passionately to her favorite band. You just hoped no other close calls would happen in this car trip...

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"Alright, kids! Go to the bathroom, relieve yourselves and wash your faces! We'll meet in the restaurant over there to have lunch!" Minji's mom clapped her hands a few times to gather all of your attention as she spoke.

You had made a stop at a gas station to fuel the cars, go to the bathroom and eat.

Stretching your arms above your head you let out a loud sigh, watching as everyone dispersed to do their necessities or buy snacks at the gas station convenience store.

"You're not coming?" Hanni's voice startled you, thinking she had followed Danielle and Minji's sister, Minyoung, to the bathroom. You turned your head to look at her, smiling unconsciously.

"Yeah, just getting my limbs awake again." She laughed, imitating the stretch you were doing seconds before. "Thanks for waiting, Han. You didn't need to." You pressed a peck to her cheek, skipping ahead as she stared at you with a dazed smile on her face. "Last one to get there has to eat a spicy apple!" You laughed as her expression turned into a dumbfounded one, turning fully to run to the bathroom.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Hanni ran after you, not caring if the people around you were staring or not.

After doing your necessities, the six of you plus Minji's siblings found yourselves at the trinket store by the restaurant while you waited for the food to get ready.

"Oh, look!" Minji's older brother, Minhyuk, turned around with something on his hands, making a show of suspense before revealing a funny looking wooden bear. "I found Minji over here!"

"You ugly motherfu–" You quickly walked away laughing as Minji and her brother began bickering, not wanting to be in the middle of their harmless sibling fight in case they got in trouble with the store's owner.

Walking down a section you haven't seen yet, you spotted many different keychains and fridge magnets on sell and decided to carefully inspect them, wishing to buy something to take home for your family when you're back.

Picking up a cute little bee keychain, you smiled to yourself before you felt a familiar hand slipping on your free one and a weight on your shoulder.

"Do you like it?" You turned to show the item to Hanni, watching the girl bring her free hand to hold yours and inspect the bee keychain, her head never leaving your shoulder as she did so.

"It's cute." She concluded, smiling at you. "Who's this for?"

"You." You giggled as she shoved you away in embarrassment, turning her attention to the items on display to pretended to be unfazed. "You don't want it?"

She mumbled something you didn't understand, still not looking at you. But as she laced her arms with yours once again you knew she liked it.

You became distracted watching Hanni's beautiful concentrated face as she looked through the souvenirs, mindlessly nodding along to whatever she was saying as your cheeks began hurting with the amount of time you stayed smiling at her.

"I'm getting you this." She stated suddenly, shoving a keychain in your face as you blinked away confusedly. She giggled, knowing you were distracted.

Finally inspecting the item she still had close to your face, your eyebrows furrowed at the four-leaf clover. "Thanks?"

"Don't be silly." She tugged you towards the cashier, passing through Hyein and Minyoung with a basket full of things to buy you weren't even sure they had space to store. "It fits your vibes."

"I didn't say I didn't like it!" You dropped your things at the cashier, greeting the store owner quickly, pulling your credit card out to pay for it all. "Why a clover though? I got you a bee because you're Hanni."

"And you'll understand my gift soon." She smiled at you, and was about to say something again when some loud knocks startled you. The two of you turned to see Minji's father impatiently ushering you all from outside the door, signaling that the food had arrived.

Everyone quickly payed for what they got, all of you splitting the bags of things the two youngest girls bought as it got too heavy for just the two of them.

But before getting to sit down at the table to eat, Hanni pulled you to her, whispering in your ear. "Oh, by the way." She says her next words rather seriously. "When we get there, I wanna talk to you in private."

You whipped your face around alarmed, but the vietnamese girl only smiled at you and sat down, engaging in an excited food talk with the other girls.

────────────────────────────

The rest of the car trip was calm, with most of you sleeping the rest of the way while you and Hanni silently listened to music on your shared playlist.

Her words never left your mind, an additional nervousness in your chest besides the usual one from being this close to her.

When you finally arrived at the Kim's lake house, you barely had any chances of bringing and leaving your luggage in the room you were staying as Hanni dragged you away from the house.

You only managed to catch Haerin's questioning gaze and shrug before you were both out of the door and heading who knows where.

"Hanni?" You tried to ask but she only shushed you, tugging your hands as she ran with a big smile on her face.

And you couldn't help but appreciate the moment. The way Hanni's black hair flowed gracefully down her back as the wind hit her. The big playful smile that only seemed to get bigger each time she turned to look at you, which in turn made your face warmer each time. The laughter both of you began letting out at some point mixing together with the gentle chirping of birds and the oh, so present water sound from the lake. And the realization you had every so often in simple but magical moments like these that everything felt so perfect and in place with Hanni. So belonging. So right.

Being in love with your best friend was certainly one of the best feelings you could ever feel and you were forever grateful for having her in your life.

When you arrived at the lake pier, Hanni hurriedly sat down and pulled you with her, bringing you flush to her as she pointed to the ducks peacefully swimming in the water.

"Do you think they ever think about life?" Despite her eagerness to arrive here, she asked you quietly, possibly trying not to disturb the animals.

"Maybe?" You carefully watched as a trio of ducklings played in the water. "I'm sure their worries are very different from ours, though."

"You might be right." Her voice came out a bit shaky and you turned around to look at her with concert, shying a bit when you found her intense gaze already on you.

"H-Han?"

"What are you lucky for?" Hanni suddenly asked you, barely blinking as she brought both of your hands to her lap.

"What?" You tilted your head to the side, trying to understand what the meaning for all of this was. "What are you on about? Why are we here anyways, Hanni?"

"Just answer it, come on!" She tugged your hands impatiently, still looking directly into your eyes with an intensity that was making your heartbeat quicken in pace each second.

"Hmm, I don't know. Not failing school?" You shrugged, caving in and looking down to your conjoined hands on her lap.

She laughed nervously, taking one of her hands away to grab something in her pocket before shoving it on your now free hand.

You opened your palm to see the four-leaf clover keychain she had bought hours ago was now there. You looked up to question her again, but she cut your words with an information that left you speechless.

"Well, I for one I am very lucky to be in love with my best friend."

You blinked dazedly at her, not knowing what to say or to do as your mind slowly processed the words that left her mouth and what they meant.

Hanni shyly turned her gaze away for the first time at your silence, but still kept one of her hands firmly on yours.

After long seconds you definitely had to apologize for later, you blurted the first words your brain could come up with to her.

"You're so cheesy, Han."

"Hey!" She whipped her head back to you, the both of you blushing as your gazes met.

"But I don't think I can say much different neither." You mumbled, chewing on the inside of your cheeks as you gathered courage to mutter your next words. "I think I'm lucky to be in love with my best friend too."

"Cool." She smiled with relief, leaning closer as a confident sparkle now adorned her eyes. "This means I can do this now." You closed your eyes in surprise and expectation once you realized what she was doing.

Her soft lips met yours in a sweet, gentle kiss. The both of you not being able to hide your smiles as she but a hand on your cheek, drawing you closer and prolonging the kiss.

Once air was necessary, you pulled away and simply stared at one another, smiling like fools in love as the gentle sounds of the lake water made the moment feel even more special.

But a crack noise disturbing the quietness made you both pull away further, looking around in confusion until your eyes landed into four familiar teasing smiles.

Your four friends stood a bit further away from the pier, both Danielle and Hyein carrying cameras on their hands while Minji faked disgust upon being noticed and Haerin's smile grew bigger at being acknowledged.

You gripped Hanni's hand tighter, ready to get up and bolt towards them before they could go running to Minji's family with embarrassing but definitely cute pictures of the two of you kissing.

"Look who's giggling now!" Haerin shouted before you and Hanni got up, turning to run immediately as you and your hopefully soon-to-be girlfriend shouted back at her.

"KANG HAERIN!"

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thank you for reading <3

[nwjnsloona]

WE ARE SO BACK

[paradisedumpling]

Hi guys! I'm not sure if most of you remember me, I wasn't around for that long but I had some fics I know some people really liked so I decided to repost them.

If you don't know who I am, or your don't remember, I'm dumpy, mostly know as paradisedumpling. I made my blog last year, first semester of 2024, and posted some fics mainly for newjeans, lesserafim and aespa. And I kinda disappeared, then deleted my blog too. And this is my explanation, and apologies.

I won't get into things very deeply for personal reasons but I was going through a rough situation, I still kinda am, and things got bad very fast and I had to delete my tumblr account. I also had to delete my discord, and other accounts I have, so I lost contact with all friends I made here and not even them could understand what happened because it was very sudden and I didn't have much time to explain. After that things continued bad for a long time, but right now it's at least safe again to have socials and other medias and I decided to at least come explain things to my friends, and to my followers as well. I am deeply sorry for all those who got hurt and disappointed, and I wish I had a way to make up for all the pain my disappearance caused.

But on the brighter side of things, I decided to repost my old stories for all those who wanted to read them again but couldn't find them anymore. I can't promise that I'll come back to posting new things again, I haven't really written anything since I left, and I don't think I'll write again for a long time. But I might finish my wips one day, I can't promise anything or that it will be anytime soon. Either way, all my old stories that I had posted will be reposted here again for all of you to enjoy.

I hope you're all safe and I hope the future is bright for all of you, thank you for supporting me <3

[yerimbrit]

inside you (is a field of spring flowers) : p. hanni

synopsis: you feel it in your chest—as if flowers are about to start spilling out from your throat like a broken fountain.

# : pairing ! pham hanni x 6th member!reader

# : tags ! fem!reader, angst, hurt no comfort, hanahaki!au, hanni likes a boy here sorry, unrequited love, miscommunication? more like no communication, hahaha! you know technically this is hanni x reader x minji but *EXPLOSION*, i mean... they kiss??????? is that a good thing?

# : wordcount ! 10k

# : warnings ! mentions of blood and surgery, panic attack, near-death experience, several mentions of drowning and throwing up, toxic(?) themes, please think before you act guys

forget-me-nots have always been hanni's favorite flower. she pointed it out to you once, as trainees, when you two were passing by a flower shop on the way back to the dorms. the display was only dimly lit, the hours way past closing, yet she was able to recognize them so quickly—it amazed you.

when you debuted together in newjeans, you bought a bouquet of forget-me-nots for her, shyly presenting it to her when you returned to your shared room after the debut showcase. her smile was radiant that day, despite the tiring performances only a few hours ago—you made sure to engrave that expression into your memory, promising yourself to make her smile like that again and again, forever until the end of time.

now, they bloom like a viral pandemic inside your chest, vines curling around your lungs and taking your breath away. ironically, that is what hanni does to you whenever you look at her; she takes your breath away. and then she borrows your heart for a waltz, dancing around it with that smile you love so much. she doesn't ask for the key to your heart, but you'd give it up for her in the blink of an eye.

it started after a walk with hanni, an impromptu convenience store run on a quiet night. she giggled and gazed into your eyes with a look full of so much affection that you stood there in front of the snack aisle, transfixed in place. and then you felt it.

in your chest, a sprout. a sprout that would eventually turn into dozens of flowers, that would send waves of blue and pink into the silver acrylic bathroom sink in your dorm.

you read about it online once, hanahaki, when you were a few years younger and a few less mature. the younger you that took things for granted, swearing that it was fake and wouldn't ever happen to you, no, because cho y/n doesn't fall in love.

but now you, years older and more mature, who has seen only the beginning of the hardships the world deploys, would hate to face the you of the past.

because this cho y/n is in love, and love feels like a field of spring flowers—blue and pink forget-me-nots—flourishing inside your body. something that you will take to your grave.

it's another day of performances, promoting newjeans' new single that has already garnered millions of streams, to which you're immensely grateful for. the overwhelming support of people all over the world, not limited to bunnies, fills your psyche with exuberance.

your energy onstage is overflowing, spreading to the other members and to the fans. the interactions exchanged with the girls singing and dancing with you, the red flash of the live camera, the deafening cheers of the audience once you turn one of your in-ears off—they fuel you with so much motivation to achieve, to fulfill your dreams, to inspire others.

and despite your fatigue hitting upon sitting down in the waiting room, you still agree to come with hanni to the vending machines, unable to say 'no' to the girl of your affections. she leads you by the hand, outside to the hallway and not letting go, sending swells directly to your heart. 

you try to pay attention to the ramble she sparks about the variety of snacks in the new vending machine that was recently installed, and not to the erratic thumping of your heartbeat. occasionally she glances back at you, her eyes crinkling up into a dazzling smile, and you try to send one of your own to mirror her energy.

“i’m excited, y/nnie,” she says, adding a skip to her step to really show her excitement, “the old ones were getting… well, old.”

‘cute,’ you let yourself be dragged further to a corner, walking past several waiting rooms assigned to groups and soloists both known and unknown to you.

the shorter girl stops in her steps and almost makes you bump into her. confused, you look up to try and find what could possibly be the source of her lack of movement, and you see a familiar face.

a boy group member, jay from enhypen to be exact. the guy that hanni's been droning on about for about two weeks now. every second, minute, hour, she manages to find an opportunity to start gushing over him. of course, you’re happy for her, but you’re also sick of it. even danielle is tired of the same topic. sometimes you wish things could go back to the way they were before, and hanni would return to being the loveable, angerable, and passionate person that she is, at least the one you know and loved love. 

they exchange some pleasantries, and your fellow group member inquires about the vending machine and if he's tried it yet. the conversation turns to a different topic, they talk about going on yet another date, she teases him and tells him to text her the details, and he leaves with a lingering touch on her shoulder. i’ll see you, he says softly, making her swoon and wish that he’d sweep her off of her feet. but by the time she turns to you to squeal about the newly planned date in her schedule, you're gone.

the coldness of the running water from music bank's bathroom sink soothes the stress in your veins, washing the specks of blood off of your hands. you watch fragments of petals that didn't make it to the trashcan swirl down into the open drain, then let your eyes bore a hole into the mirror which casts your reflection onto its surface.

'she likes a boy,' a bitter thought bubbles up into your mind, 'and i'm not a boy.' the overplayed song simmers in your thoughts before you have to force it away. stupid. of course it's a guy—he's tall, plays the guitar, cooks, and even more.

you slowly raise a hand, water dripping off of your skin and back into the sink, and shake it roughly in front of the mirror. droplets slide down in streaks, turning what was once your clear, pristine reflection into the distorted face of a figure, unrecognizable. a silhouette of a human being.

what does he have that you don’t? 'that's a stupid question,' you chuckle deprecatingly, 'he has everything that i don't.'

he has everything that you don’t, everything to match as perfect a girl as hanni is. and hanni is everything; she’s sweet, talented, short-tempered, and she puts so much thought into loving but she does it effortlessly.

love was supposed to be like fireworks exploding, the purest feeling you can feel. it's everywhere—familial, romantic, platonic, in the dedication that was packed into building the walls of every building you've been in, in the care that was put into making the matcha latte you had this morning. it's supposed to be euphoric, almost idyllic.

you don't regret loving hanni. she's given you the key to a new world of experiences and attractions, like a theme park that never ages. but you've lost her in the crowd. your heart bleeds into the petals that belong to the flowers she loves so dearly, and it's literally killing you.

forget-me-nots symbol true love and remembrance—something happy, something that is supposed to fill your entire being with joy. but they rot in your gut like the plague.

a flurry rushes up your throat, making you gag and dryly throw up the waterfall of pink and blue petals into the sink. it's a disgusting feeling, both the throwing up and the texture of the bloody petals as you crush them in your palm before transferring the pile to the trash bin.

the blood that remains burns like asphalt on your tongue. you spit another few petals out, a dull red staining the floral discharge and the sink. you turn the 'cold' knob of the sink to wash your hands, but end up looking deep into your distorted reflection once again.

the bloodstained acrylic sink overflows with cold water, splashing down to the floor and soaking your clothes, but you pay no mind to it. instead, you have a face-off with your distorted reflection.

love is intoxicating, exhilarating, and painful. it’s beautiful, yet ugly, and vibrant red and pink, yet gray. loving hanni feels like walking on a long, shaky plank between mountains. like you’re at risk of falling every few seconds.

she'd be happy with jay. she already is.

you frown at the mirror, the movements of your mouth obscured by the water still dripping down the glass. water from the overflowing sink seeps into your shoes and into your socks, inciting another gross feeling within you. you don't bother turning the sink off.

after another moment, you can't take the sight of the empty reflection anymore. an impending cough burns in your throat, and blood sprinkles out of your mouth. the dull feelings and surroundings overwhelm your senses. 

you dunk your head into the overflowing pool of water.

it's cold, and it's comforting. it tastes like blood and it's freeing.

you can finally breathe, for once.

"what were you thinking!?" minji scolds you, infuriated, having found you on the cusp of death in the bathroom. you're in the newjeans waiting room, freshly changed into your regular clothes and out of the ruined stage outfit, and a towel hangs around your neck to catch any stray droplets from your hair.

she paces back and forth in front of the couch you're sitting on, pinching the bridge of her nose. recognizing your lack of response, she sighs and squats down to meet your empty gaze. "are you okay?"

shifting in your seat, miniscule drops of water taint your hands and your white graphic tee. you shake your head stiffly and croak out with your hoarse voice, “i don’t know.”

“hanni said you’d randomly left her earlier,” minji says softly, only the desire to understand storming in her eyes. “if i hadn’t found you when i did, you would’ve…”

hanni. the very reason you’re throwing up flowers every night, for god’s sake. and as if right on cue, a petal makes its way out of your mouth and onto the hand you shove over your lips. when you hesitantly lower it down to your lap, minji gasps.

“is, is that—oh, y/n, you're...” she bites her lip, bringing you into a tight hug. it’s warm, but it provides only a bit of comfort to mend some of the wounds left on your heart. “...you’ll be okay.”

a warm droplet soaks into the fabric of your top, and it’s not the water from your hair. minji’s crying, crying for you because you can’t even do that for yourself. “i’ll ask for a separate car so we can get you to a doctor,” she murmurs into your hair, “everything will be okay, that’s the least we can hope for.”

you notice there’s a few more bodyguards surrounding you and minji as you make your way to one of the management’s black vans. the public can’t know two members left the building separate from their group lest they’d bombard everyone with prying questions disguised by innocent remarks. your heart aches when hyein looks at the two of you with confusion, probably wondering why you’re not all going home together. she doesn’t have to know. she can’t know; it would break her heart.

the hospital is as devoid of life as ever, the only signs of there actually being life in it being the buzz of chatter from staff and patients and rhythmic beeps from machinery. the last time you were in this dystopia of a building was when hyein fractured her foot. back then, the visits were rushed with anxiety and fear that came in a cold bead of sweat. now, it’s a slow walk, resignation dripping with every step that you take and occasionally interrupted by a chilled shiver. bile sticks to the back of your throat uncomfortably.

minji keeps your pace, sometimes glancing worriedly at you before looking to where the manager is up ahead. you’re headed to the front desk, where your manager would discreetly inform the receptionist of your conditions and then be directed to the waiting area, where you would wait for the diagnosis (of which you’re already acutely aware) of your demise.

the woman at the reception is deeply shocked upon seeing you and minji behind the manager, evident in the way her mouth hangs open and how she’s unable to say a word for a few seconds. perhaps it’s not only because of the sight of you, but also because of the reason for your visit. an idol coughing up flowers because of an unrequited love? almost unheard of. almost, because no company would ever let that sort of news out to the public.

examination rooms always smell strongly of disinfectant, now only adding to the pounding headache you have. the scent pierces through your dry nostrils, creating an insatiable itchy feeling that you can only temporarily get rid of when you cover your nose. a nurse comes in for the regular checkup, and then a doctor, doctor jeong, cautiously enters.

he clears his throat, a clear clipboard holding your documents grasped in his hand. his browline glasses enhance his ‘doctor’ image, like he was born to be a doctor. “you… have hanahaki disease. the unfortunate illness of throwing or coughing up flowers, the cause being unrequited love.”

yes, that’s right. hanahaki. unrequited love. unable to answer, you nod your head weakly. beside you, minji bites her lip worriedly. “is… is there a cure?”

“well,” he sighs, eyes filled with sympathy for your pitiful state. it almost makes you want to scoff. “either the recipient of miss cho y/n’s feelings reciprocates, or a surgery can be scheduled for the forced removal of the flowers. with the surgery, the feelings will disappear completely, though there is a risk of not being able to love again.”

a beat of silence follows; neither you nor minji dare to say a word. and so you use the time to think: do you really want to get rid of your feelings for hanni? years of pining, thrown away like nothing? you couldn’t do that to yourself. even though your love is draining the life out of you, it is still love, and it is still wonderful nonetheless. 

doctor jeong scribbles something down on the document, the only sound in the room being your breathing and the scritch of his pencil. “for now, miss cho y/n, i’ll prescribe you flower suppressants. they’ll slow the growth of the flowers in your lungs, but it will only be temporary; it will give you time.”

“because time is all i have,” you mutter, your voice barely above a whisper. 

he stays silent for a moment, then leaves, gingerly handing you a prescription paper, and you and minji are left alone. minji slowly stands up, leading you by the hand to exit the exam room and meet your manager in the hall. you go to the pharmacy to pick up the medicine with the paper he gave. 

the ride home is suffocating, but not because of the flowers begging to be let out. there’s a conversation spoken with the exchange of looks from saddened eyes, and then you break it off to stare at the passing scenery out the window.

time will tell, but time is all you have and there’s not enough of it.

the two of you return to the dorms while everyone’s asleep. when you gently open the door, a figure sleepily rises from the couch and wipes her eyes. 

correction: everyone except hyein is asleep; she must’ve been waiting for you to come home.

“hyein,” minji starts, a slight scolding tone hidden in her voice, “what are you doing, still up?”

the younger girl rubs her eyes again, eyebrows knitting together. she’s clearly fatigued, exhaustion leaking through every action, but she chose to wait for you and minji’s return home. “i was… i was waiting for you,” she slowly replies, as if she were afraid of upsetting the two of you any further—not that you’re upset at her in the first place. “where were you guys?”

“running errands,” minji answers, curt. hyein’s eyes flash with hurt, and the older girl freezes. “sorry. we’re quite tired, hyein. you should head back to bed.”

“thanks—” you say, voice barely above a whisper. “—for waiting, hyein.”

you know she hears the pain in your voice. she glances at you worriedly before she scurries down the hallway to her room. minji only speaks when her door clicks shut.

“i don’t think you have any schedules with her anytime soon… but i can’t prevent her from seeing you,” she breathes out, rubbing her temple. 

you furrow your brow. “why are you saying it like i hate her?”

minji swallows thickly, leaning on her arms on the top of the couch’s backrest, her movements highlighted by the warm glow of the table lamp. “because,” she pauses, frowning, “she invited jay over for two days from now.”

“that fast…” you mutter, and the living room is engulfed in silence until you feel that burning feeling in your throat again. petals. flowers.

the immense pain from coughing is intensified because of the burn that water left, your rushed movements to the bathroom having a clogging effect on you. piles of flowers are heaved out of your mouth and into the sink. 

you turn the water on, splashing some on your face, vision blurring. liquid feels like it's filling up your mouth, your body, your lungs, taking your breath away like hanni does to you. it’s suffocating, the relieving feeling from before now absent. and although your body tells you that you’re not, your mind is screeching, screaming the message that you are drowning. 

you are drowning, thoughts melding together to create a big lump of something unintelligible. you’re helpless.

“hey!” minji runs in, pulling you away from the sink and pushing you down slowly to the floor. “y/n, i need you to breathe. can you hear me?”

water in your airways, water in you. petals in your airways. petals growing from within your lungs. you whimper, throat too dry to manage to cough, but you muster up a creaky nod, trying to meet minji’s eyes, your pupils shaking.

“count to ten with me. one, two, three…”

“four…” it burns your throat, aching as you speak. 

the girl nods, keeping eye contact with you. “good. five, six, seven…”

thoughts are clearing, water is draining. “ei-eight.”

“nine…”

ten. 

you take several deep breaths, leaning forward into minji’s warmth and not closing your eyes. you would drown again if you left yourself in the dark. 

a reminder bubbles up in your mind. ‘...will only be temporary; it will give you time.’ 

“pills,” you whisper, patting your jacket pocket which was slightly splashed with water, some petals hidden in the wrinkles. for a second, you question the legitimacy of these pills, but you’re extremely desperate. your groupmate reaches into the pocket, pulling out the new prescription bottle. 

she moves it away when you try to reach for it, humming. “you can’t have this on an empty stomach. you haven’t eaten since before the performance, and it’s nearing midnight.”

minji has warmed up a bowl of instant white rice, since the rice cooker has yet to be replaced. you watch the steam rise up into the lone ceiling lamp at the dining table.

“you should eat while it’s still hot.”

for the pills. for the pain.

under minji’s hawk-eye surveillance, you dig the stainless steel spoon into the rice and lift it to your lips and take a bite. it’s not supposed to have any special flavor to it, but it travels down your throat like a rock. you try to resist the urge to gag, but it’s inevitable with the next few bites. 

minji uncrosses her arms and slides the bottle of pills to you, and you gratefully open it. ‘one tablet every six hours, take as necessary.’

you take the first dose. it tastes like nothing at all.

the girl takes the bottle, sliding it back near her. “i’ll be giving you one before breakfast, lunch, and dinner. no more. but if you don’t want to take them, i won’t give it to you.”

“i’ll take them,” you reply, staring at the unfinished bowl of rice. it makes you feel nauseous, so you direct your gaze to your lap instead. 

“...good night, minji.”

minji lets out a labored sigh. “good night, y/n.”

hyein stands by with her back pressed against the wall near the living room. you looked awfully tired, maybe even drained, earlier—it’s concerning, especially with the way you and minji had mysteriously gone off somewhere after music bank. 

after much trying, she hears slivers of your hushed conversation. what she heard was shocking, but she can’t decide whether or not she’s glad she knows or if she should’ve really gone to bed earlier. 

“...i’ll be giving you one before breakfast, lunch, and dinner…”

giving what, exactly? the younger girl pushes slightly on her grip on the corner of the wall, trying to view the scene without exposing herself. and there she sees her older member holding a bottle of prescription pills. there’s a few petals on the ground leading to the bathroom. when did they get flowers?

her face pales, and she rushes to the bathroom where she heard the anxiety inducing incident just ten minutes prior. as soon as she flips the lightswitch, she sees broken and blood speckled petals, blue and pink, lining the drain.

and when she opened the small trash can by the foot of the counter, a nauseating feeling rushed over her. dozens and dozens of petals, most bloodied and some retaining their purity. there were even drops of blood on the ground. 

“what…?” 

hyein swallows down her urge to gag and quietly slips away to her room. it can’t be. it can’t.

you wake up at six in the morning. there’s already a tablet on your bedside waiting for you, placed on top of a sticky note from minji that says “after breakfast”. 

so, this is your life now, huh?

with a sigh, you push yourself off of the sanctuary that is your bed and shuffle over to the bathroom. blinking through your bleary eyes, you can see that there’s no evidence of the night before—no petals, no blood—minji probably took care of it. you brush your teeth and turn the faucet on again to wash your face. the memory of your almost-drowning flashes in your mind, but you quickly shake it away.

no one’s awake at six, except danielle who’s really the only productive member in the morning. she’s got her headphones on and is sketching a still-life of the vase on the living room coffee table. the vase is holding wilted tulips, white in color, which nobody has had the time to replace. 

danielle feels your presence, turning her head to you. she offers a wide smile and a wave, and gestures to the kitchen where a pot of oatmeal is residing on one of the stovetops. you return the nod, giving her a small hug before going to the kitchen.

you could probably eat some oatmeal. maybe not with any toppings, no, but it’s bland enough for you to force down. you scoop some into a pink flower-patterned ceramic bowl and eat at the island, facing the living room where you can watch danielle’s sketching.

the oatmeal’s to your expectations. not too bland like the rice, and just enough flavor to carry through. the scratch of your groupmate’s pen is oddly calming to your ears. 

after you wash your bowl and spoon, you return to your room with a glass of water and take the tablet with it. pausing for a moment, you try to think of something to do since you can’t just go back to sleep, and then grab your wired earbuds and your phone after changing into a basic t-shirt and shorts.

on your way to the front door, you hear the faint sound of music coming from a certain member’s room. it’s wild heart by the vamps. one of the first songs she recommended to you. you try to swallow down your mild nausea.

danielle’s still drawing in the living room. you tap her shoulder and point your thumb to the door with a tilt of your head. “i’m going out for a run.”

“be safe,” she nods, waiting for you to respond with your own nod. in the midst of the silence, she stares into your eyes with an unrecognizable look, like she can see right through you, and it makes you shiver. she’s been spending too much time with haerin.

immediately as you step outside, you feel the early morning breeze hit your exposed skin and regret not bringing a jacket. it’s whatever—the exercise will warm you right up. exercising has always been one of the hobbies that could relieve you of your stresses, ever since high school. it served well as a distraction from exams, from your friend’s delusional crushes, and from the thought of having to practice singing and dancing for eight hours the next day. you hope that will be the case for today. 

starting with stretching your limbs, you pay extra attention to your legs since it’s been a minute since your last run. you pull out your phone and open spotify, tucking the earbuds into your ears, and restless by bibi fills your ears. the soothing nature of the intro is a pleasant launch to your session, and you focus on getting one foot in front of the other in a walk, slowly speeding up.

the last time you took a few laps around the neighborhood, it was with hanni. she, ever the curious soul, had asked to accompany you on one of your regular runs, and of course you said yes. about halfway through the usual three miles, she stopped you abruptly and asked for a break. 

(“wait, wait!” the shorter girl called out, and when you looked over your shoulder you could see her hunched over and leaning her hands on her knees. “couldn’t we take a break?”

you checked your wrist watch, tapping on the screen to pause the time. “it’s only been 15 minutes, though?”

hanni made a face and gestured at your belt holding a water bottle. you slipped it out of its compartment and handed it to her, which made her expression shift into a satisfied and thankful grin. you smiled at the change. “do you want to stop by the river?”

the girl paused in her drinking. “how far is that?”

“not too far. we can feed the ducks?”

“oh my god, yes please.”)

the two of you had gotten back way later than scheduled, and got scolded by minji. you had to deliver the explanation, though, since hanni couldn’t get through it without giggling between every word. it was because you started dancing to eta for the ducks, much like hanni did in an older vlog.

a familiar wave of nausea hits you as you pass by the mentioned river, though nothing comes out when you instinctively cough. it leaves a strange burning sensation in your gut—it must be the effects of the pills. you can’t decide whether it’s better than coughing out petals or not. the song changes to another. you can’t remember what the previous one was.

it takes you longer than before to finish running three miles around the neighborhood. part of the reason is because of your lack of practice, and the other part is because of your mind being consumed by forget-me-nots. 

you’re standing in front of the entrance of the apartment complex, hesitating in your movements. you can’t find it in yourself to return home. what would you do? go back to sleep? write lyrics? 

a thought surfaces in your mind. minji must be awake by now; she’ll know what to do.

the charms attached to your keys click and clack against each other in a dissonant jingle, and you push the door in with an open palm. danielle has finished her prior sketch, it seems, and is now drawing haerin who’s currently scrolling on her phone with a heavy-lidded gaze next to her. she looks seconds away from falling asleep, though it’s only eight in the morning. danielle greets you with another wave. you send a nod back.

the music playing from a certain member’s room has ceased, and her door is open. you can’t help but wonder where she has gone. instead of going to your room, you make a beeline to minji’s and slightly push open her door. hanni’s all sprawled on the taller girl’s bed, legs kicking and everything, sifting through a playlist to play on minji’s bluetooth speaker. minji perks up at the door creaking open and widens her eyes, preparing to say something but hanni beats her to it.

“oh, hey y/n!” she chirps, waving you over, “come lay with me, minji’s new blanket is so warm.”

a familiar and welcoming warmth floods your heart. you look over to minji, whose expression is stuck between hesitation and something else. whatever it is, you assume it’s a look of concern.

hanni tilts her head and her stare burns an aching hole into you. once you stop fighting the urge to join her and concede, she beams that wonderful grin and all the tension in your shoulders is released. minji’s conflicted gaze lingers on you until she sighs and turns back to whatever it was that she was doing at her desk. you don’t join hanni in laying down, but you sit on the edge of the bed next to her. she sends you a questioning look, pouting, but you point at the training clothes you’re wearing.

“i’m sweaty,” you say, causing hanni to playfully roll her eyes. “i went for a run.”

the shorter girl throws one of minji’s teddy bears at you, and you catch it. it’s soft and fuzzy, wearing a gray sweater. “look at you, being productive in the morning! you haven’t gone on one for ages.”

because her statement was true, you couldn’t find any argument to refute it with and settled on the excuse of practice for the ongoing comeback. today is one of the rare free days, since you’ve been promoting for about two weeks straight now. tomorrow, you and haerin are scheduled for an appearance on a variety show that you can’t remember the name of.

there’s a pause, the atmosphere calm and relaxed, and you start to space out as you stare at some poster in the oldest’s room until hanni taps her hand on your back. you whip your head around, bending your arm back to touch on the spot she hit. it tingles. 

“are you free later?” she asks, a lazy smile spreading across her face. “i want to go shopping—jay’s coming over tomorrow.”

right. that guy. you almost forgot about him. before your thoughts could drop into a spiral, minji spins around in her chair and cuts through your hesitance. “y/n and i have plans later, actually.”

hanni frowns, her eyes darting between you and the taller. “later being…?”

there hadn’t been a mention of any planned hangout—this especially contradicts minji’s earlier claims of being free the entire day. 

minji stands up from the chair and trudges over to her closet, picking out the first few things she sees, and then turns back to the bed where the vietnamese is now sitting up in confusion. “later is now, actually. y/n, are you ready to go?”

knocked out of your stupor, you scramble to your feet just as the nauseating feeling caused by the mention of hanni’s whatever-he-is starts up. “um,” you glance at hanni, “yeah. let’s go.”

you can’t help but notice the puzzled gaze that the girl sends you as you let yourself start to be led out of the room by the hand. her eyes hold confusion, maybe a smidge of frustration. her sulking is evident in the pout she makes as she watches you leave. 

once minji is finished changing in the bathroom, she smiles at you and intertwines your fingers together, leading you out through the front door. you’re stuck in a daze until she pulls you forward, suddenly noticing how you were lagging behind and practically had to be dragged by her. 

“you’re so slow,” she scolds playfully, scrunching up her nose. then, she lowers her voice to a hush. “did you take your pill?”

the scenery changes from the monotone walls of the apartment complex to the verdant foliage outside. it’s warmer now that it’s not six and a half in the morning—if it was, you’re not sure if the stroll you’re currently on would be enough to warm you up. “i took it this morning,” you reply, feeling uncomfortable. “but it feels like all the flowers are clogging up whenever it spikes.”

a beat of silence passes. minji’s only answer is a firm nod, and she starts swinging your connected hands. you blink. the atmosphere between the two of you became unnervingly awkward from her lack of verbal reply. you swallow thickly, “so, what plans did we have?”

the topic change is successful. minji stops swinging your hands back and forth to look over at you in surprise. she squeezes your hand. “uh, i mean to be honest, i just wanted to get you out of there. do you want to do anything specific?”

“no,” you shake your head, looking at your linked hands, then to the ground, “i—”

your sentence is interrupted by your phone buzzing in your pocket and you quickly turn to minji with an asking gaze. she nods, pressing her lips into a thin line, and you take your phone out to check who the notification was from. the lock screen is of you and the others, with hanni resting her head on your shoulder with an eye smile and you smiling down at her. minji and haerin are playing with a dinosaur-shaped water gun, and danielle is in between everyone, arms wrapped around you and hyein's shoulders. just the mere sight of the photo, taken by one of your managers, warms your heart. 

unlocking the device, you open your messages to see three pictures that hanni has sent you—mirror pictures, showing off three different outfits. a smile automatically makes its way onto your face as you scrutinize the photos she’s sent, and you can just barely hear minji scoff and chuckle in amusement next to you. minji has led the two of you to a nearby bench, sitting you down so you don’t interrupt anyone walking in the midst of your texting.

hanbun  ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ [attachment: 3 images] which one?? you hmmm 🤔 the second one oversized always looks good on u btw what's this for? hanbun  ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ jays coming over remember! i need to impress him so he doesnt think im a slob at home i rlly like him i wanna make this count yk

your chest throbs and you feel a group of petals swirling around in your gut. it’s disgusting, not being able to spit out the very reason for your pain, but still feeling it in a passive state. minji rubs your back soothingly in circles. it only slightly helps. after taking a moment to compose yourself, you open your phone back up to see more texts from hanni.

hanbun  ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ yn??? hellooooo r u there you sorry had to tie my shoe isn’t he just coming over? u don’t need to dress all fancy to impress him hanbun  ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ugh i know but what if you the second one then hanbun  ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ thanks! ill treat u to some boba as thanks <3 you ofc

you pause, pondering whether or not you should send the next message you already typed out in a flash.

you anything for you hanbun  ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ 😆

the screen shuts off and you lean back against the wooden bench, taking a deep breath. the two of you sit in silence for a few moments longer, and then minji stands up with a big stretch. she turns to you, reaching her hand out for you to take. another set of petals swarm your gut and you shiver. 

“let’s go practice.”

an offer intended to provide a distraction. a saving grace. you take her hand, her fingers rough and smooth in contrast with hanni’s calloused fingers. both made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, in two different ways.

“okay.”

old habits die hard.

as a trainee, practice had been a more-than-efficient outlet for you to vent your stress into. it might not have been the healthiest, but it worked—and it was the only thing you knew. minji was the one who had brought you out of the habit, seeing as you worked so hard to the point of collapse.

come to think of it, minji’s been there for you for most of your recent years. from trainees, to debut, and now with your… situation. have you ever thanked her for all she’s done? you have to make a note to do so. 

“you should loosen up your turn here,” minji says, explaining her words in the form of a demonstration. she pivots on her left foot and pushes her torso to the right, her motions more fluid than your earlier ones. “you’re putting too much pressure on your leg—just let yourself move freely.”

your eyes snap to the mirror, replicating her movements as best as you can. a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips when she flashes you a thumbs-up. minji shuffles over to the laptop to pause the music, and turns back to you. “let’s take a break?”

“just a little more,” you frown, taking a step forward to attempt to turn the music back on, to no avail as the taller girl closes the laptop shut and crosses her arms.

minji stands firm, her stance unwavering. if you weren’t already used to this side of her, you’d be shaking in fear. “you know how that’s gonna end.”

her eyes bore into yours, and you have to look away or else the cracks in your soul would expand. “fine.”

by the time minji settles down next to you, cross-legged and taking big gulps from a water bottle from the fridge in the corner, your eyes are drooping in exhaustion. your head is leaning to the side and she notices, scooting back so you could lay your head on her lap after much resistance. 

“you know,” she starts, pressing dents into the empty plastic bottle. the crackling sounds sting your ear. “practice is good. it sharpens your movements, hones your skills, and most importantly, it distracts.”

yes, distraction. it was something you knew very well, precisely the reason why you always fell back into it.

minji places the twice dented bottle in front of her on the floor and reaches down to move a strand of hair out of your face. “i’m sure you already know that. since the start of time, you’ve known. but you also know that overworking yourself can make your practice backfire, and then all your hardwork will go to waste.”

“take care of yourself, y/n-ah, please.”

you look up into her eyes, full of worry. “thank you, minji. i’ll try.”

sometimes you feel as if haerin could burn a hole into you with just her stare. it’s happening right now, as you try to write lyrics for a new song in your room. the feline is laying on your bed, but you can feel her staring through your back. it’s utterly unsettling.

“is there something wrong, haerin?” you turn around in your chair, gulping. “you’ve been staring at me like crazy ever since you waltzed right in here.”

lucky for you, the girl relents and she pulls the covers over herself. “why’d you go out to practice today? and to run? you haven’t done that in a long time.”

of course. if anyone is gonna notice the changes in your routine, it’s always going to be haerin. you turn back around in the chair. “felt distracted. i wanted a change of pace.”

“oh,” haerin hums. “does it have anything to do with hanni-unnie?”

god, her observant nature is so double-edged. the thought of hanni makes your heart clench, but nothing rushes up. good. 

“maybe,” you answer cryptically, “maybe not.”

you reach over to turn your fan on, toggling it to the highest setting. it’s spinning at a moderate rate, and it replaces the silence that was left after your reply. haerin sits up, ruffling the blankets that are covering her lap. “hey, y/n-unnie,” she starts.

without looking up, you hum. the cat-eyed girl doesn’t continue until you sigh and spin around to face her. “yes, haerinnie?”

she blinks owlishly at you. “those flowers from the past few weeks wouldn’t happen to be yours, would they?”

the fan buzzes. you stand up to open the curtains on your window. the sun comes shining through, and you even have to squint a little to adjust to the newfound brightness in your room. you smile when the girl in your room winces. 

haerin may be an observant girl, and she might already know about your condition, but the best thing about her is that she never tells a soul about what she knows if it’s that important. you lean your back against your desk, pencil left on your notebook, and the sun casts a shadow over your face.

“go to sleep, kitty kang. i got new comforters.”

the feline tilts her head at you, curious but never pushing, and lies back down obediently. she tucks herself deeper into your blankets, bringing her phone closer to her, and closes her eyes with a contented sigh. there’s always been an unspoken agreement between the older girls, to not burden the younger members too much, but they always want to know anything and everything about their older friends.

you’re sure haerin already knows, but for now, you’ll pretend like she’s blissfully unaware.

one month has passed since the day out with minji, supernatural promotions have concluded, and newjeans has been granted a break. you should be resting, but like a cat always makes its way back home, time and time again you find yourself in the dark-walled practice room.

in the practice room, there were oxygen masks. at the dorms, there was hanni.

hanni, who has started dating jay. it started about a week after that day with minji. fortunately, you’ve grown so familiar with avoiding hanni when possible that the effects of the flowers have been reduced. today, you even decided to skip the pills. minji wouldn’t know.

you can only watch your reflection as your body moves to the beats of the song, moves on autopilot while your mind is occupied. hopefully, the thoughts of perfecting your moves will drown out all the longing thoughts. despite the growing fatigue weighing down both your psyche and frame, the squeaking of your sneakers and the vibrations of the speaker will always provide you a sense of invigoration.

after all, old habits die hard.

there was a time when hanni would stay with you to practice, simply because of how stubborn she was to not let you go home alone. you miss those times, when you were really becoming closer friends.

(“what are you still doing here?” hanni gasped, swinging the door open and running up to you. you were leaning against the mirror, sweat dripping down your face, but still made a move to get back up and dance to the song that hanni thought she’d heard way too many times in one day.

“practicing,” you replied, “i made too many mistakes today. you should go home.”

the vietnamese huffed, pausing for a moment and then rolling up her sleeves, stretching. 

you frowned, pausing the music. “what are you doing?”

hanni grinned. “practicing with you. it’s dark outside, and we both live in the dorms anyway. i’ll dance with you, so let’s walk home together, yeah?”

you had never thought her smile looked so radiant.)

after the session, you both packed up your things and walked out of the building together. these late-practices became a regular thing, maybe every other day of the week. you still had school, but you would often come over to hanni’s dorm room after classes to talk about what you both did that day. 

on the walks home, you would even stop to go to the convenience store, or even spend hours talking on the swings in the nearby playground. but what was most memorable was the fact that hanni never failed to spot her favorite flowers in the display window of the flower shop.

(“hey, look,” hanni stopped at the window, just barely lit by a nearby streetlamp. “there’s forget-me-nots.”

“forget-me-nots?” you repeated, then looking at her incredulously. “how can you even see them?”

“i could recognize them from a mile away, y/nnie!” she sing-songed, smiling and going ahead with a skip in her step.

you rushed to catch up with her, whining. “hey! you can’t just run off like that…”

hanni turned to you, tilting her head. “we’re debuting soon. when we do, will you get me a bouquet of forget-me-nots, blue and pink, on the day of our first stage?”

it was winter, and it might have been bloody cold, but that didn’t matter because your cheeks were filled with so much warmth. you had never felt this way about another person, in fact, you swore to never feel like this toward another. you quietly apologized to your younger self. there seemed to be no way out from it.

“of course, han. i’ll make sure to get the prettiest batch.”

the shorter girl beamed. no flowers could ever match her beauty.)

the door clicks open and your eyes are forcefully torn away from the mirror by the human nature of curiosity and alertness. there, hyein stands, looking afraid and timid, which is out of character for her. she holds up a cold sports drink, which must’ve just been taken out of a freezer or a cooler because there’s condensation dripping down the side of the plastic.

you shuffle to the laptop connected to the speaker and pause the music, facing hyein who has now walked over to where you were. “hyein,” you greet, grabbing a towel to wipe the sweat off of your forehead, “what are you doing here?”

she hands you the ice-cold drink, and you waste no time in unscrewing the cap and gulping down half of its contents, releasing a refreshing and relieved breath at the end to appease the youngest. “minji-unnie told me you’d be here. and um,” she bites her lip, suddenly feeling like the ground is more interesting than whatever is about to happen. the volume of her voice drops significantly, and you have to strain your ears to be able to hear what she says. “i want to talk to you about something.”

something? what could something be? it can’t be the flowers, you’ve tried your best to cover up any trace of them, but could you have been careless? 

hyein pulls out her phone and shows you pictures that were taken the night you got home from the hospital with minji. blue and pink forget-me-nots, littered all over the floor, in the sink, and stuffed into the trash bin. remnants of blood on the petals, on the counter, and on the tiles. the orange tinted prescription bottle on the dining table.

your face pales. you’re then tackled into a hug by the taller girl, and soon your ears are filled with the sounds of her sobbing. her phone drops to the ground, clacking against the dark, hardwood flooring of the practice room. 

“unnie,” she clutches at your oversized long sleeve shirt, voice so full of emotion that it brings you out of your stupor. you bring your arms around her, and she unconsciously lowers herself so that you could place your chin on her shoulder, just like always. a big sniffle comes out of her, and you feel the back of your shirt getting wet. “were you ever going to tell us?”

you’re glad that you are the one facing the mirror, because you wouldn’t have to take a look at your cherished younger member’s crying face—only your own, unrecognizable one in the reflection. this time, it’s crystal clear and not distorted by streaks of water.

“there, there,” you pat her back softly, murmuring gentle reassurances so that her tears may be reduced. hyein was the last person that you wanted to know about the situation, but it can’t be helped. now that it’s come to this point, she deserved to know the whole truth. “let me get you some water and then we can talk, okay?”

feeling a nod against your shoulder, you take it as a cue to pull away and wipe her tears away with your sleeve. the cuff of your right sleeve is now dampened. you roll it up. “we’re out of water in this fridge, so i’ll have to get it from another room. can you wait here for me?”

hyein sniffles, wiping away more tears from the corners of her eyes. she barely nods, mumbling a quiet “okay” before you turn to open the door. something in your gut tells you not to open it, but you do anyway.

“let go of me, jay!” hanni half-grumbles, half-shouts, shaking off the man’s grip on her arm. he chases after her, a hint of pleading in his eyes as he scrambles to beg for another chance.

“hanni, please! we can talk about this, can’t you give us another shot?”

the short girl glares at him, seething in anger and distrust. “you cheated on me, jay. i’d be a fool with no self-respect to come crawling back to yo—mmph!”

he brings her into a kiss. you swivel around on your heel to shut the door behind you and face a confused hyein. it was a mistake to open the door. it was a mistake to skip the pills.

you fall to your knees and cough out floods of blue and pink.

it’s been a while since an attack this big happened. the medicine suppressed the flowers, which meant that when you coughed this time, everything kept spilling out. everything that you’ve tried to hide for the past month or so. the coughs won’t stop coming, and with the coughs come even more petals, to the point where broken stems appear in the products of your suffering. hyein rushes to your side, eyes widened and hands trying to rub your back in hopes that it would help, but after a minute of doing so she realized that she would need help from the outside.

she stands up abruptly, breaths becoming heavier with panic. “unnie, i, i’m gonna get help! stay there!”

you reach a hand out, “hyein, wait—” trying to stop the girl, but you’re interrupted by more coughs and more petals and hyein is gone, you’re alone in the room again, and you can’t breathe.

everything isn’t going the way it’s supposed to be. nothing ever goes your way. you stay hunched over on the ground, chest heaving until your coughs are dry and bear empty yields. there’s an impressive pile of flowers, both with stems and no stems, full flowers and just petals, on the floor under you. you struggle to sit up, shakily coming to a stand and slowly walking over to where hyein’s phone is on the ground.

“it’s okay,” you mutter to yourself with a hoarse throat, “it’s fine. everything will be fine.”

hanni's mind has been in a swirl of frustration, anger, betrayal, and now it's confusion because she just saw hyein run out of a practice room screaming for help for you. jay's still standing at the part of the hallway in which she slapped him after he kissed her, but she couldn't care less. because now, now she knows that you're in need, and you're in the practice room, and she knows that you've been avoiding her and she didn't mind it because of jay, but she still loves you because you're her best friend.

her best friend that could solve every problem in the world for her. hanni wants to return the favor. find out what’s happening to you. fix the problem. she knows cpr! ...hopefully that knowledge isn’t needed in this situation. 

the moment she walks into the practice room, she notices a pile of blue and pink forget-me-nots. her favorite. they’re speckled with blood and wow, that’s a lot of blood for flowers, and she realizes that flowers don’t bleed, and that the only person it could’ve come from is you. flowers. blood. hanahaki disease.

fix the problem.

hanni isn’t thinking when she runs up to you, cups your cheeks, and crashes her lips onto yours. she isn’t thinking when she lets her tongue swipe your lip, granting herself access to explore the inside of your mouth with her tongue, isn’t thinking when her teeth clash with yours. she’s just fixing the problem.

sometimes, she thinks that she isn’t a good friend. she ignored you for a stupid guy, and because of her ramblings, she didn’t notice that you were in pain. 

and then she feels something sharp pricking her tongue, and she withdraws in pain. you’re staring wide-eyed at her, breathing heavily as you fumble with your hands to pull a flower out from your throat. it’s a full stem, but it has thorns on it. hanni doesn’t think she saw thorns on any of the ones in the pile behind the two of you.

for a moment, it’s silence. just you and her, staring at each other, staring at the thorned flower that you just pulled out of your mouth. she’s stained the skin around your lips with her peach lipgloss. the next moment, hyein and minji come running into the practice room, take one look at hanni and make inferences about what just happened, and hyein takes you out of the room. hanni swears she sees you trying to say something before you’re pulled away.

minji surges forward and grips her by the collar of her shirt. “what did you do?”

“i—” hanni gasps, trying to get the girl’s hands off of her shirt.

“what, did you do, hanni?” minji growls, pure fury encapsulated in her eyes. it’s intimidating. hanni doesn’t know what she did wrong.

“i was just fixing the problem,” she responds. minji looks deep into her eyes, gaze searching for something that may not be there. then, she swallows hard, releases her, and leaves the room.

hyein sits you down at the company café with a cup of water. minji joins the two of you and sits across from you. you spin the thorned flower between your pointer and your thumb. “i’m going to take the surgery.”

“surgery?” the youngest asks, furrowing her brow. “what surgery?”

you take a sip of the water, feeling it rush down your aching throat. “surgery to get rid of my feelings. for hanni.”

“are you sure?” minji asks, sliding her hand over to cover yours.

you don’t look at either of the girls, just down at the table. “no, but… i have to.”

you haven’t spoken to hanni for two days straight. sure, you’d been avoiding her since she started dating jay, but you still texted her back and you still acknowledged her presence. she’s done a lot of thinking ever since she kissed you. how it was an irrational decision, how she was wrong for kissing you so abruptly, and how much of an idiot she is.

for not noticing your pain, and for not noticing your feelings toward her. 

hanni’s done a lot of reflecting these past two days, reminiscing about the old times and feeling regretful that she ruined your friendship in just two minutes. but because you’ve made no appearances in the dorm, at least to her, she’s been in a plaintive mood; she can’t apologize to you. everyone in the group knows by now—about your condition, and about what hanni did to you.

it’s hard to stay positive when her own members treat her with a different air. haerin can’t find it in her to say anything, hyein can’t even look her in the eye, danielle can’t stop giving her comforting hugs, and minji can’t stop glaring at her.

and so she decides that she has had enough. she can’t find you anywhere in the dorm or the company building, so she calls the manager and asks him where you are.

— “y/n? uh, she’s at the hospital.”

hospital? she doesn’t think twice before hanging up the phone and putting her shoes on.

it was no wonder that everyone in the dorm was gone.

the cold air of the hospital greets her after she steps out of the black management cars, her senses being greeted with that indifferent scent of disinfectant. “i’m looking for a y/n,” she tells the receptionist, words melting together in a fast rhythm, “a cho y/n.”

“she’s in room 106, but she—” 

before the woman finishes her words, hanni’s already bolting off to where you are. she doesn’t need any assistance because you’re staying in the exact same room that hyein was when she broke her foot. unbelievable.

once she gets out of the elevator, she dashes down the hallway, maneuvering around nurses and patients without any apologies, only to come face to face with minji, who is blocking her path. she tries to go around her, to no avail. the taller girl crosses her arms with a stern look on her face.

“let me in, minji,” hanni says, tears welling up in her eyes. she’s so worried about you, and she still needs to apologize. what happened to you? “let me in!”

the cold front that minji put up dissipates in milliseconds, and she’s looking at her the same way she did in the practice room that day. “you don’t get to see y/n. where were you when she needed you most? huh!?”

“i didn’t know!” hanni exclaims, “i wasn’t thinking at the time.”

minji narrows her eyes. “of course, you weren’t,” she spits out, “was there a time where you ever thought about her? did you even want to know? she’s been loving you for years. years, hanni!”

tears are unleashed from the corners of the shorter girl’s eyes. years? 

she’s not given any time to react, as minji shoves her back physically. “and what did you do when you finally found out about it? you fucking kissed her as if it would fix anything.”

she’s never liked arguing. when she argues, she lets her emotions win over her rationality, and it has never done anything good for her. “i was fresh out of a breakup; i was out of my mind. did you,” she shoves minji back, “do anything for her?”

the girl scoffs. “i was the one who comforted her, who helped her through all of this, while you were off playing boyfriend girlfriend with jay. i don’t even know why she kept loving you through all the hurt. you didn’t notice her pain, but i did.”

hanni grits her teeth, pushes past minji. she opens the door to your room with minji following after her, and then she sees you.

“y/n,” she breathes out. you turn your head toward the door, where hanni is. minji’s right behind her, anxiety bubbling up in her head. you can tell in the way her movements are so erratic.

“hey, han,” you smile, intertwining your fingers with hers when she takes your hand in hers. in the back, minji looks away. 

“are you feeling better?” she asks, hugging your hand to her chest.

“mhm,” you nod, eyes crinkling up as you smile, relieved, “it’s as if i never loved you at all. the surgeons sure are impressive—there’s no sign of the flowers at all.”

hanni’s face drops. all the tension in the room has now gone away. “what?”

a/n : hello.......... this was supposed to mark my comeback but it took a little while because i did nawt.... mean for it to be this long... but i hope you guys like this one!!!! i think it's funny how you can tell who my njz bias is cus one. she has the most fics and two. she has the two longest fics that ive written for njz LOL

[nwjnsloona]

hanahaki fics always have my heart this fic is so well written and beautiful and MINYN CANON

[nwjnsloona]

paddy stinky 😋

UR BABY STINKER.