I feel exactly the same as Dylan does in his diary:
"Ithink a lot. Think... Think... that's all my life is, just shitloads of thinking... all the time... my mind never stops..."
"My existence is shit. To me - how i feel that i am in eternal suffering"
"I wonder how/when i got so fucked up... my mind, existence, problem"
"I see how different i am"
"thinking of suicide gives me hope, that i'll be in my place wherever I go after this life. that ill finally not be at war w. myself, the world, the universe - my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE... me- my soul"
"god i HATE my life, i want to die really bad right now"
"swear, like im an outcast, & everyone is conspiring against me"
"god i want to die sooo bad... such a sad, desolate, lonely, unsalvageable i feel i am..... not fair, NOT FAIR!!!! I wanted happiness!! I never got it... let's sum up my life... the most miserable existence in the history of time.."
"I have always been hated, by everyone & everything"
"All people i ever might have loved have abandoned me, my parents piss me off & hate me... want me to have fuckin ambition!! How can i when i get screwed & destroyed By everything??!!!! I have no money, no happiness, no friends"
"its bad i think that i might not be enough, my mind sometimes gets stuck on its own things, i think about human things."
"im here, STILL alone, still in pain."
"I will have a love, someone who is me in a way. Someday... Possibly thru this life, maybe another, but it will happen..."
(Repost from my old account).
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