🍁

writing my thoughts basically.

[nwritiing]

It took you three days to get over me, making me a laughing stock, sending your minions after me and I wish it was that easy for me, I wish it was just easy to erase you from my mind. but I can't.

[nwritiing]

Why is everything you hated when you were with me suddenly so interesting when others do it.

[nwritiing]

Today was a hard day on me, I didn't know where I got the courage, but I have finally decided to leave, our relationship was crumbling. please don't hate me.

[thoughtkick]

“You never realize how much someone means to you, until you mean nothing to them.”

— William Chapaman

[nwritiing]

— I broke up with you again today, I'm sorry, be happy.

[nwritiing]

[thoughtkick]

“It is madness to hate all roses because you got scratched with one thorn.”

— Antoine de Saint-Exupére

[nwritiing]

And I craved to be wanted the way I want. To be spammed, to be loved, but all I got in return was silence, a neverending torturous silence.

[i-know-you-wanna-kiss-me-deacti]

Caroline, Bonnie and Elena moodboard ◇

[thatonekimgirl]

Conrad Fisher: admitting he loves Belly to everyone in 3.08 “Last Kiss.”

[nwritiing]

I wish I was loved like this

[nwritiing]

[thoughtkick]

“It is madness to hate all roses because you got scratched with one thorn.”

— Antoine de Saint-Exupére

[nwritiing]

What's even sadder is the thorns tend to make you numb at times.

[thoughtkick]

“Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere.”

— Unknown

[nwritiing]

I woke up today with an aching heart, one that was crying for me, missing me. one that wanted their old self so badly that it aches, craves being needed. wants to be held, one that was forced to be cold and distant. but I never wanted that, not in a million years, I just miss what I was, what I could've been. I miss being happy.

[nwritiing]

— writing with tears in my eyes yet again, I have successfully found myself devoid of every drop of color I had in my body, 'what was wrong with me?' I asked myself, why wasn't I loved enough? I also screamed out at the sky. I didn't know. I never knew.

I think my entire life I was starving for affection, I've always been an attention seeker, that much is true at least, but what I didn't know was that I was also unloved. I was so unloved that I have become the color gray, why was the color gray so hated? I didn't know either, maybe it's because he was just a simple color, begging to be seen. maybe that's what I am.

[nwritiing]

And in the comfort of the night I find myself wondering if this is really worth it, all the pain I cause myself just for the sake of feeling something, some kind of pain, my soul is numb. Nothing can help me no matter how many times I tried to tell myself that it's okay, I end up getting pulled back into this black hole that is my soul, everything about it makes me wish I could get out, but the pain is just too good. i wish I could say I wanna be saved, but I don't.

[nwritiing]

— more than anything, I craved to be seen, to be loved. To be valued. To be wanted and consider, alas, that's merely a thought, I remain by myself in a lonely yet cruel world. ‘ maybe one day’ I whispered.

[nwritiing]

once again I find myself begging to be seen, being the only one loud enough about his thoughts, but it's okay, I need to learn that I'm doing my hardest, even if people don't match my efforts.