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songsandwhatnot

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Cool Kids | Echosmith +

#playlist

hepburnrose

Just met some jackass in the elevator

He saw my sheet music and asked if I was a singer. Before I could even answer him, he told me that he was gonna see me on stage and throw money at me. Then I found out he’s the guy who just moved in on my floor.

nyablaine

At least you'd get paid for it!

#intsantana

nyablaine

School is...Intense

finnnychudson-deactivated201411

Dude, same.

nyablaine

I’m pretty sure I could sleep for a week

#intfinn

nyablaine

School is...Intense

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

Welcome to NYADA. I hope you still like to keep busy.

nyablaine

It’s a little much, but I guess I’ll get used to it.

#intkurt

nyablaine

School is...Intense

misstinacchang

School is always intense you dummy

nyablaine

Yeah, I guess so. It just might be the fast pace of the city too, everything seems to be on super speed.

#intkitty

School is...Intense

I've never felt so exhausted from having class every day. I need a week long nap.

#nyastarter

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

I've Got So Much Left To Say ↮ KLAINE

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

Blaine wasn’t talking. Could Kurt blame him? Finding out that while you stayed in love with your exboyfriend, he moved on and fell in love with someone who died…that had to be a lot to take in. Did that mean Kurt should give him a moment, or keep talking? At first, he decided to let Blaine have a little bit of time to wrap his head around it, but he stayed silent and someone needed to say something. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to carrying the entire conversation these days, he thought as he looked at Sky’s grave before turning back to Blaine.

"I’m sure you’re worried about how to treat me now, right? I’ll make it easier for you…don’t try to get back together with me, because I’m not sure how I feel about that right now." He started, being blunt. It wasn’t like anything he was going to say would be a curveball at this point. "But otherwise? Don’t treat me differently. It’s been a year. I’m finally back at school and I need to finally be treated like a normal person. I’m not going to break into a thousand pieces, so don’t act like I’m made of glass.”

nyablaine

Blaine nodded. If Kurt wanted to be treated like a normal person then Blaine would try to treat him that way. It seemed like there was no time of Blaine being just friends with Kurt, that all the time they had known each other they were dating. That wasn't the whole case, honestly but most of it. He had loved Kurt since they had met. But Blaine would try for Kurt's sanity to not seem too in love with him, and treat him like Kurt. Blaine figured that Kurt had told him how to treat him because he had gotten treated fragiley in the past. All Blaine could do was nod for the moment and hope that was good enough.

He didn't want to run anymore. The feeling had passed, and he was great full for that. Blaine shuffled his foot on the grass, watching it instead of watching Kurt. When he could finally look up and smiled at Kurt. Blaine knew he had done the wrong thing by showing up and confessing his undying love for Kurt, and he felt bad about it now. He knew he shouldn't have done it now, but a few days ago it seemed like the right thing. "So what do you want. Do you want me to treat you normally, or not talk to you. I get and understand each choice but in not going to do both. "

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

I've Got So Much Left To Say ↮ KLAINE

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

Kurt heard Blaine’s words and closed his eyes. Why was Blaine saying it like it was the worst thing that could happen? Probably because it was. Well, maybe not the worst thing, but it was pretty high up there. Kurt thought back to the first few days after, when everyone kept asking how he was. They expected him to be broken and frail, but he was so lost he hadn’t even been able to feel that much about it yet. But none of that was true anymore…he was okay now.

After a few seconds, he opened his eyes again and looked at Blaine. The sad, worried look was replaced by strength and he gave his ex a sad smile. “Yeah. My boyfriend is as dead as everyone else he lives with in here.” He tried to joke, but it came off way too heavy. This hurt. Not enough to make him cry, but enough to make it slightly harder to breathe. Why was this painful? Sure, having to bring people here was never going to be easy but he had reached a point where he could openly talk about Sky…could he not openly reveal his past with the boy he loved the same way.

Shaking his head, he decided to focus on what was important. “I wanted to bring you here so you’d understand…I mean, I could have just told you but I wanted you to really know.” Kurt started. “My reaction to you coming back…that isn’t about-” Kurt paused, unsure if it would be a lie to say that it wasn’t about their breakup. In part, it really was. His anger with Blaine had some basis in reality and not just coming up with a reason to push him away. Kurt decided to restart his explanation. “You came back just days before the one year mark of Sky’s death. I was trying my hardest not to go crazy,” He admitted, taking advantage of the figure of speech. “So can you see how…while mourning the death of my boyfriend, the only other guy I’ve dated showing up out of the blue might totally send me over the edge and upset me? I know that wasn’t fair to you and I’m really sorry but…don’t let this ruin NYADA for you. Don’t let me having a bad few days because of my own personal stuff make you decide that you’re going to run back home to Ohio. Because…that’s not what I want and I know that’s not what you want either.”

nyablaine

Blaine couldn't help but tear up a bit. He wasn't full on crying, but a tear or two rolled down his cheek. It made sense now, how Kurt snapped at the first sight of Blaine, and maybe that's why he wanted to talk a few days prior. And as much as it was about Kurt and Sky, Blaine was hurt too. If he would have known Kurt didn't love him anymore, and had moved on, he probably wouldn't have came to New York. It was the main reason he was there, even though it seemed stupid. Blaine didn't know how to comfort someone who had a dead boyfriend, one who was dead for a year anyway. He stayed quiet, thinking more than talking. His eyes never met Kurt's though he could sense the boy was looking at him, and Blaine's remained down.

Blaine wasn't ready for that at all. He wasn't prepared to be face to face to...stone with Kurt. He felt more guilty than before, more selfish as well. In two years, Kurt had moved on, but had had a boyfriend and had to bury him all together. Blaine couldn't help but feel sick. He couldn't imagine how Kurt was handling things, not well he could imagine if a week ago if that was the only reason he snapped on Blaine. Death wasn't easy, but Blaine couldn't understand or relate to this.

He wasn't sure what to do. Was he supposed to sit and have a conversation, or stand and talk. Was he supposed to talk at all? Talk to Kurt? His mind spun and Blaine's mind surrounded himself. It was selfish, but he didn't know what to do. Kurt had taken Blaine to his boyfriends grave, to show him and not tell him why he was acting so bipolar towards Blaine. He listened to Kurt talk about NYADA, and Blaine leaving. If the speech was supposed to keep him from leaving it did the opposite. He wanted to leave Kurt alone even more and run back, stop taking classes and transfer credits back. How was Kurt supposed to know what Blaine wanted, what Blaine really didn't know what he wanted either.

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

I've Got So Much Left To Say ↮ KLAINE

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

Blaine didn’t exactly agree to not ask questions, but he didn’t protest either so Kurt hoped that meant everything would go right when they got to the cemetery. The rest of the ride went quietly, with Kurt trying to think about what to say to Blaine when they got there. ‘Hey, remember that boyfriend I said I had? He’s dead. You two should talk about how you’ve both dated me while I get a coffee’ hardly seemed appropriate, even if it did get the job done, so he’d have to come up with another approach.

Maybe he’d tell Blaine the whole story. He could start off with how they had gotten together, how Sky had been a rebound that had turned into more than that and then he got sick and, when you have such a limited amount of time, it doesn’t matter how quickly you fell in love because you have to make every moment count while trying to pretend like your relationship is just as mundane as your friends’, and while ignoring the way everyone asks you to say hi when you go to the hospital, even though you’ve been the only visitor outside of his family in weeks. He could tell Blaine about how he fell apart after Sky’s death, skipping out on what exactly his mental health problems were and just saying there were issues, and that this was the best he’d been in a long time.

As the car drove up to the graveyard, Kurt got out and waited for Blaine to do the same. “So, this is where we’re meeting him. Follow me” Kurt said, a mixture of nervousness and sadness taking over his expression, posture and tone. He was familiar with the path he needed to take, he could do it blindfolded if he had to. Once they were there, he looked back to Blaine and…he couldn’t say everything. He couldn’t give some tragic life story…He wasn’t ready for Blaine to know everything. All Kurt could really do was explain the bare minimum to him. “Sky, I brought someone today. This is Blaine, my exboyfriend. Blaine, this is Skyler…we dated for almost a year until his death, which happened three hundred and seventy days ago.” Kurt explained quietly, staring at Sky’s tombstone the entire time. “I guess I lied when I said I’ve been in a relationship since I got here? That ended about as badly as a relationship can end, and that’s hardly the worst part about it all being over.”

nyablaine

It wasn't long before Blaine started putting pieces together. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew why he had to get dressed. Blaine had questions, and he wanted to run, two things Kurt told him not to do. Blaine stood behind Kurt, following him a few paces behind. Blaine didn't understand why he was at a graveyard, though. He walked, and tried not to crunch any leaves as he walked in the graveyard. His eyes remained down, with his hands in his pocket he followed Kurt to the tombstone.

Blaine read the name on the stone, he hadn't known anyone named Skyler. Blaine figured it wouldn't hurt to let Kurt talk first. He heard Blaine talk to Skyler...but he called him Sky. Blaine kept a straight face as Kurt talked, introducing Blaine. He stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt Kurt.

Blaine couldn't exactly wrap his head around the words either. Talking didn't seem like an option, it didn't seem necessary at the exact moment. Three hundred and seventy days. Blaine had only came to New York a week ago, making sky's death five days ago. Blaine tried to speak, before his voice croaked as he tried to speak. "Your boyfriend is dead." Blaine spoke the question with a monotone voice, keeping his eyes down onto the tomb.

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

I've Got So Much Left To Say ↮ KLAINE

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

Once Kurt got back over to Blaine, his exboyfriend immediately started whining about how he wanted to go back upstairs as if Kurt was planning on only taking him to the mailbox. “Well, why would I make you get dressed like a normal person to drop a key off. Besides, I said you’re going to meet someone. And that person isn’t going to be coming here, we have to go to them” Kurt explained, glancing down at the floor. If only that weren’t true. But it was, and that was that.

Without saying anything else, Kurt walked out of the dorm building. He glanced behind him to make sure Blaine was following a couple times but otherwise kept to himself. This was going to be incredibly hard. He didn’t want Blaine to feel sorry for him, but he had learned that people were going to do that for a period of time no matter how he felt about it. All Kurt could do was show that he was doing alright, and Blaine would see that there was no reason to feel pity.

A black 2015 Ford Fusion Titanium soon pulled up and Kurt tried his best to ignore the knot in his stomach. They were really going to Sky’s grave. He got in the car, waiting for Blaine to get in, and simply stared out the window for the first several minutes. Should he even say anything? Or should he let Blaine be completely blindsided by what was about to happen. Blaine would know where they were when the cab rolled up, though. Taking a deep breath, Kurt looked back at the guy he used to be closer with than anyone. “Before we get there, I need you to promise me something, okay? Because this is..well, it’s going to be weird. So you’re not allowed to ask questions…well, you can ask them but I might not answer them. And you can’t run away when we get there.” Kurt stared at him, before realizing what his words sounded like. ‘You can’t run away’? Blaine must’ve thought Kurt was taking him into some kind of drug operation! “It’s nothing illegal! Or dangerous! Or anything like that! It just…it probably won’t be what you’re expecting…okay?”

nyablaine

To say Blaine was confused was the least of things. There was a car in front of him? And a driver? Why did Kurt have a car and a driver? Blaine figured Burt had set something up for him while in New York, probably because Kurt seemed too good for the subway. He got in slowly, nodding to the driver as a gesture of hellos. He was sitting as far apart from Kurt as he could, and buckled the seatbelt. The click of the buckle seemed to be louder than it should have in the silence, that was until Kurt started talking. He listened carefully, mentally digesting the words as Kurt talked. Most of what Blaine was hearing and Kurt was saying was confusing.

Blaine couldn't understand any of what was happening. He was at the mailbox on minute, and he had seen the car and Kurt get in it a few minutes ago. Now Blaine couldn't ask questions and questioning where they were going seemed like it would be included. Why was Kurt telling him he couldn't run away? Where was Kurt bringing him. Over the last two years since Kurt and him had broken up, running away was almost always an option. He could have ran away to New York and finished high school there, he could have ran away from Ohio to New York and bummed there until he got into NYADA. He could have ran from almost anything, and now it wasn't an option.

Blaine was scared again, and he wanted to run. He knew Where they were going had to be important though, Kurt wouldn't make him get out of bed if it wasn't. Blaine clutched onto his seat belt to try and conceal his nervousness. He listened to Kurt ramble, and sighed as it made him nostalgic. Kurt's ram slings seemed to take him back to Ohio, when they were dating and things seemed less complicated than they were towards the end or now.

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

I've Got So Much Left To Say ↮ KLAINE

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

As Blaine walked into the bathroom, Kurt walked over to Michael’s side of the bed and looked around. It had been a while since he was last in his friend’s dorm room, but that was only because Kurt had spent most of the spring semester in a rehab facility. He would probably be here more often, and that meant Blaine getting used to seeing Kurt around. Assuming Blaine hadn’t missed a lot of class and found himself withdrawing from the semester more often than not, he and Kurt were in the same graduating class now. They needed to get used to each other.

Once the darker haired boy was out of the bathroom and putting on shoes, he was asking questions. Kurt didn’t want to answer them, but he had to say something. “Those weren’t clothes. Those were rags you wear to not be arrested for public indecency” Kurt argued, as he pulled out his phone and used it to silently call a car to come get them. He decided to simply ignore the question of where they were going, hoping Blaine wouldn’t ask again.

Kurt walked towards the door, glancing behind him to make sure Blaine was still there. “We have to stop by Michael’s mailbox, I told him I’d drop the key in his mail slot.” Kurt explained before they left the room. He decided to take the stairs, not wanting to sit in an elevator quietly with Blaine for any amount of time. Besides, their room was pretty close to the ground. Once they were on the first floor, Kurt stopped at Michael’s mailbox and dropped the key in before he and Blaine left the building and looked around. “…So, our car’s not here yet. I guess now we wait.”

nyablaine

Blaine followed Kurt down the stairs and to the mailboxes. He knew there was nothing in his, and didn't bother checking if there was anything in it. Blaine stood awkwardly as the key was placed in the mailbox, but was confused as to why he wasn't back upstairs. "Why are you getting a car? You said we were going to the mailbox. "

Blaine couldn't understand why they needed a car. There were lots of subways busses and Taxis around, and Blaine seemed to stick to trains. He had memorized almost all the train stops on the trains around the school, and Broadway of course. He was getting used to the subways, and knew what times to avoid being in a cramped car. It took him a few days to realize what times were bad to take the trains. It was easier most if the time, and quicker, though Blaine wasn't much for leaving campus.

It was awkward to say the least. He felt awkward around Kurt, and didn't feel comfortable with what was going on. He was clueless, but didn't want to question him. Who knew what could happen with Kurt's mood swings, he didn't want to get his head bit off again, especially when it was fully gelled. Blaine stood to the side, out of the way and a bit away from Kurt and waited for the boy to mention anything about that day.

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

I've Got So Much Left To Say ↮ KLAINE

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows. Why was Blaine curling up in a ball like that? Something was off with the smaller boy, something had changed in the last couple years. Obviously, Kurt needed to be a little more careful than he initially though. He stayed on the bed for a moment, but kept his distance. Blaine was obviously scared, and Kurt had no idea what he had done to set him off.

You don’t want me around anyway

Kurt’s mind flashed to holding the note Sky had left behind and being unable to read it, too afraid that it would say the very same thing. He knew that wasn’t what Blaine meant…He knew Blaine wasn’t talking about doing the same thing Sky had done, and he quickly brushed that idea away. But explaining to Blaine that he was sorry, and that he wasn’t just saying that to keep Blaine at NYADA, was going to mean explaining everything. And if that was the case, he wanted to show Blaine rather than just tell him.

Getting up from the bed, Kurt walked over to Blaine’s closet and opened it. He selected a pair of skinny jeans, a red fitted button up short sleeve top with a collar, and a grey and black cardigan with red accents for Blaine to wear in the coolish September air. After placing the outfit on Blaine’s bed, he took a step back and folded his arms.

"Get dressed, and gel your hair. I want you to meet someone, and you’re not going out like that, okay?" Despite his words, his tone made it clear that this was all a demand and he wasn’t planning on letting Blaine get out of this. "And you have to look presentable. This tshirt and Borat thing isn’t going to cut it for where we’re going."

nyablaine

Blaine watched as Kurt went through his closet and pulled out clothes for him to wear. He hadn't worn any of the clothes in his closet since he got to New York, only the ones in his drawers. He looked at the clothes Kurt picked out, not surprised with the choice. Blaine listened as Kurt told him to change and gel, both things he hadn't done that day. He looked at the clothes for a minute, before exiting the bed on the opposite side Kurt was on. Blaine led himself and the clothes to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Blaine slowly undressed, changing into the clothes Kurt had laid out. He made a mental not to grab a belt from the same closet the clothes were pulled from, before pulling the shirt and sweater on. He pulled some gel from his bathroom caddy and applied a bit, making sure it was well cemented. Blaine exited the bathroom to put on his shoes and socks, before going back to his bed.

"Where are we going? I was already dressed, I don't know why you made me out on some other clothes." Blaine spoke in a low voice before shoving his phone in his pocket and turning towards the boy.

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

I've Got So Much Left To Say ↮ KLAINE

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

Kurt placed his hands on his hips as Blaine questioned where he got a key. “Michael and I are….close. I borrowed his key pretty easily” Kurt brushed off the idea of telling Blaine exactly how close they were, thinking back to how much he had slept around just after Sky’s passing in order to try to convince himself he didn’t need to date in order to be happy. It hadn’t worked.

As Kurt’s eyes fell on Blaine’s packed bags, he was pulled out of his thoughts about his sleeping around days and back into the issue in front of him. “Oh, Blaine…” He mumbled, shaking his head and sitting down on the edge of his ex’s bed. “I’m not here to make fun of you. We need to talk. And this is different from the other night, when I asked to talk and you said no. This is a required talk. I came to apologize for my behavior, and to kick your ass back into attending class and dressing like your usual self again.”

nyablaine

Blaine tried to get himself to listen. He wanted to hear what Kurt had to say but didn't want to know hat it would amount to. He had spent the last week getting further and further from...well anyone. How was he supposed to make friends this way? Blaine knew his dad had to be right, OSU was a better choice for him.

Blaine listened about Michael, figuring they've met from that. Blaine couldn't get himself to look up at the other boy in the room. He was scared, even if the boy came on his own. Blaine listened to the change in Kurt's tone before feeling his weight on the end of Blaine's bed. He was too close, and Blaine wasn't comfortable. Pulling his legs up to his chest, he wrapped his arms around his knees pulling them close and keeping his eyes down. He didn't want to talk at all, and it seemed like if he tried nothing would come out.

Blaine spoke slowly and softly to Kurt. "Why do you care if I'm not going to class. You don't want me around anyway." Blaine kept his tone monotone, not angry or sad or any of the other emotions he was feeling. He ignored the comment about his clothes, not wanting to get into that argument now. Blaine peeled his eyes from looking town to meet Kurt's in between.

n-y-a-d-a-kurt

I've Got So Much Left To Say ↮ KLAINE

Michael couldn’t have known the effect his five simple words would have on Kurt. But as Kurt made his way to the dorm room that Michael and Blaine shared, he couldn’t help but play the words over in his head and wonder just how serious they were.

Your ex has an afro?

If Blaine wasn’t gelling, that meant he was really letting himself go and Kurt couldn’t help but feel partially responsible for that. What had he done to welcome Blaine to New York, a decision that was pretty damn scary? He had told the guy to stay away from him. He had done everything he could to hurt Blaine into hating him so he didn’t have to deal with anything resembling….well, Blaine was the closest thing he had to Sky. Their personalities were very different, but they were both people he had dated. They were the only people he had been in a relationship with, and one of them was dead while the other one was suddenly wanting to be near him again. It had been scary for Kurt in that moment.

He needed to apologize, and he needed to get Blaine used to NYADA. After knocking on the door to let Blaine know someone was planning on coming in, he used the key and entered the room. The sight was not pretty. Not only was Blaine’s hair awful, but his clothes weren’t well fitted at all.

"Okay, we need to talk because this-" Kurt gestured to Blaine’s whole outfit. "is not socially acceptable until midterms."

nyablaine

Blaine’s first week and a half at NYADA were difficult to say the least. He ha gotten lost numerous times, arrived late for class because of getting lost and tried reuniting with Kurt which ended in Kurt wanting nothing to do with him. Blaine’s week seemed progressively getting worse from when he started. Blaine hadn’t been himself since Kurt wanted nothing to do with him. They had spent two years apart and clearly Kurt wasn’t the same. He was dating a kid and didn’t want Blaine in his life.

Blaine did everything he could to let Kurt have his space.

Some of his clothes were always packed in his suite case, next to his bed ready to flee at any moment. The clothes inside had left to only be replaced back into the suit case. Blaine’s attendance became less frequent as the week went on, skipping a class here and there, to Blaine going to one class by Friday. He wanted to go home, and figured it was a sign. No one wanted him around and he belonged in Ohio.

But still, Blaine laid across his bed, curled between some blankets and sheets watching reruns of Full House. Blaine sat up to the sound of a knock and a key in the door, figuring it was Michael coming back from class or lunch. To his surprise, Kurt stood in the doorway, and without a beat seemed to critics Blaine’s outfit.

“Why are you in…how did you get a key!?” Blaine freaked, wondering if more people had his key. He had only been there for a few days, and he already was getting broken into. Blaine sat in his bed more upright than his laying position and he sighed. “If you seriously came here to make fun of me please please go.”