This is similar to how TERFs view trans men, though not from a kink-based point of view, and I think it’s a super important distinction to discuss, especially when noticing the red flags of how trans men are treated within the queer community itself based on whether or not they pass.
When trans men are still considered “boys” and are usually pre-T and/or non-passing, they can easily be used as an example of a naive young girl who is being coerced into the “trans cult” (by older trans men, but more on that in a second). This is part of the infantilisation of trans boys, and is usually the most recognisable form of TERF rhetoric against trans men as a whole.
However, this is not the case when trans men grow older, progress in their transition and begin to pass. Once a trans man starts passing, it is a lot harder for TERFs to parade them around as “silly little girls” because quite frankly: it makes TERFs look stupid. They know this. And they don’t really believe in the silly little girl thing at that point anyway, because they can’t “rescue” these trans men anymore. Big, beared, passing trans men have gone past the point of return.
Does that mean they’re left alone? Not at all! The rhetoric simply changes.
Older, passing trans men are now considered “predators” by TERFs. They are the trans people who are coercing young girls into the cult (with a few trans man YouTubers explicitly name dropped in Abigail Shrier’s book Irreversible Damage). If you’ve read any article by the BBC about a trans man convicted of “rape by deception” pre-2010s you can see exactly how TERF media views passing trans men. They are perverted, predatorial dykes who want to pray on precious (white) cisgendered girls and are considered a danger to society.
The rhetoric starts to mirror the same rhetoric against trans women once a trans man passes, because in the eyes of TERFs, any adjacency to manhood or masculinity (whether due to outward appearance or insignificant chromosomes) means that you are inherently a predator.
And it’s also why these “jokes” about big, beared trans men in the women’s bathroom are a useless gotcha against TERFs who already know that passing trans men exist and view them as a danger to cis women. Which is why when a passing trans man enters into a woman’s restroom against his will (especially if he’s a POC), he is running the risk of being arrested even if the law technically states that he’s supposed to be in there. It doesn’t matter what the law says, because a cis woman who has decided that he’s a predator will call security, will have him arrested, and will have systemic power over him in this situation.
And I really think we need to recognise both of these rhetorics, because believing that TERFs only view trans men as naive little girls is assuming that passing trans men are completely free from TERF rhetoric, when the reality is, they’re just as vulnerable to systemic abuse.