Obscene Animal Quotes

I hope you learn a little bit about unappreciated animals, and maybe a little bit about my life.

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Western spotted skunk

Waitwaitwait GO BACK. I saw something about a nutty shit.

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Ornate Hawk Eagle

You can have summa dat purple if you want.

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Black spiny-tailed iguana

I feel like I got hit with a 20 pound weight right in the ass directly under the skin. Here comes my fat phase part two.

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Roe Deer

NO ONE BUT YOU WOULD LOOK UP LIVE ACTION SOFT TENTACLE PORN ON YOUTUBE AT 4 IN THE MORNING.

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Gannet

"Hey Tyler, are you freeballin' it?"

Welcome to college, Erin.

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Tree kangaroo

It's a shame you never got to meet grandma. She did a perfect Skeletor.

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Black Eagle

I heard his asshole talking from all the way down the hallway.

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Crab-eating Raccoon

The music on Easter Eve is fucking awesome. Like, I just start crumpin' in the pews.

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Indian gavial

He thinks he's funny because he's humming the bear necessities.

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Tayra

That wasn't yoga, that was training for the circus.

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Echidna

Tits on the radio.

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Mandarin duck

Fishin' for bitches.

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Bateleur eagle

I have a spittoon next to the couch that I shit in when I don't feel like getting up. It's a shit spittoon.

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Coelacanth

Duct tape controls the space time continuum.

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Aardwolf

I don't care, I got black titties.

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Angora Ferret

You're never going to find a husband unless you show off the knockers.

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Angora Ferret

You know, I drew the best tits of my life today.