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LOVE ENGINEER

Toto Wolff x fem!reader

-> Toto’s masterlist

Summary: You are a development and construction engineer for a new power unit for 2026 season with the new regulations. Your work is your passion, everything revolving around engines involves you. Mercedes is your dream come true, working alongside the team and with the one and only Toto Wolff. Dancing around the feelings you both try to hide, you combine the racing, engineering and love. But what if love is not a final destination for you and you crave more than a stable relationship and a stable job?

Warnings: undisclosed age gap, slow burn, curse words, tension, angst, tech talk, implied smut, heartbreak, funny moments, fluff, comfort, alcohol consumption, betrayal, power plays between the teams, Red Bull x Mercedes rivalry (a bit)

Word count: 11.7k

A/N: One thing I learned from this one — to take my fucking time with writing. Because I write for me first. Although there can be some inaccuracies, but who cares, it’s fiction. Also sorry for any mistakes or badly worded things, tried my best. Enjoy the ride and let me know how you like it, any feedback is appreciated! :)

photo credit goes to amazing @totoochristianwolff 🩶

“Huh?” Your sleepy voice echoed through the speaker, while you shifted in the hotel bed somewhere in the world.

“I need you here.” His deep voice sounded concerned and annoyed.

“What’s wrong?” You murmured, still trying to close your eyes tightly while pulling the duvet over your head.

Toto was clearly irritated by your sleepiness.

“I told you there will be a problem.” He grunted.

You huffed, sitting up in the bed, rubbing your eyes.

“Tell me, send me the data, I can solve it from here.”

“No, I need you here in Bahrain.” He insisted, he was stubborn.

“Toto—“

A notification buzzed on your phone, you took it away from your ear to see a message about a flight ticket.

“I expect you to be here tomorrow morning.” And with that he ended the call.

“Bossy as fuck…” you muttered, kicking away the duvet, storming into the bathroom. You were about to enjoy some time off, after you spent almost two years at Brackley, helping to develop the new engine system for Mercedes. Being the best at your field of work wasn’t always easy. As a woman you struggled a lot but once Mercedes saw a potential at your work, they hired you and you were the main engineer who developed the revolution engine for new regulations.

Lucky for the team, you were in Italy, so the flight to Bahrain wasn’t that bad.

Having exactly three hours to get a nap at the hotel suite Toto had booked for you through his people, the alarm went off as you groaned.

Blinking twice, getting used to the sun shining through the curtains of the huge window, you stretched out your body, shuffling to your suitcase to get changed. The plane landed at maybe three in the morning, everything around was quiet but now you could already hear the buzz near the hotel.

Taking a last glance in the mirror, you grabbed the paddock pass, letting it fall down your neck and you tucked your phone in the back pocket of your pants.

Also the sun glasses were a must have in the scorching sun.

The press was on the hunt for you, trying to ask you questions but you quickly sped through the paddock. And they stopped finally when Bradley Lord came out of nowhere and helped you to get into the garage.

“Good to see you here. When I saw Toto being pissed yesterday, I knew you’re gonna come.” He grinned, walking beside you through the corridor.

You chuckled at his words, shaking your head. “He ruined my holidays.”

“Aww, don’t tell me you didn’t miss us.” Bradley gave you a sincere smile of gratitude. When you neared the back entrance, George was leaning there against the wall, arms crossed, clearly looking irritated.

“Hi, George.” You smiled politely and he just nodded, not really taking in your presence.

George was the one who gave you the most important feedback when it came to the power and performance, you had a respect for him.

Eyes landing on the tall figure standing close to the car, discussing some things with mechanics while the engine was all there on display, its cover aside. The garage was shielded from the press and prying eyes outside.

Taking a few steps towards the men, they finally acknowledged you and Toto visibly softened with a little bit of relief.

“You’re here, just on time.” He almost bursted in happiness but quickly gathered his composure, clearing his throat.

Raising your brows in slight surprise, you couldn’t help but be a little bit smug. “You look like you’re happy to see me.”

“He’s putting so much effort into you.” One of the mechanics said.

Toto growled and gestured for you to take a closer look over the engine.

“I’m sure you read some reports or even articles…” he had his face features tight and jaw clenched.

“No, I didn’t.” You hummed, your gaze scanning the car.

“Hm. So, yesterday, George was in the car, Kimi too, but then the car was slowly losing its power and the battery was very low and not able to charge. Also it started to overheat.” Toto explained, while you kneeled to get a better view over the unit.

“Mhm. I see. And nobody here could take care of it? You had to call me?” You spoke without even looking up at him.

The silence spread through the garage, everybody looking at the boss.

“…yeah?”

Inhaling sharply, you stood up, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Well. Physically it seems it’s okay, nothing looks damaged or melted. The pack with batteries is also good, I think it may be some software issue. Which is the best outcome of this. Who did the first launch when you got here? Because in Barcelona we were good.”

Toto’s eyes landed on the crowd in the garage, scanning the people gathered only to land on Shovlin.

“Andy.” He only barked and you turned your attention towards Andrew, who, well, went pale under the fire gaze of the Wolff.

Placing a hand on Toto’s arm, you gave him a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, we’re gonna make it work.” And you went towards Andrew, taking him into the back where others sat, looking over the telemetry.

“Look, I’m sorry if—“ Andrew started to apologise, already being stressed enough but you stopped him.

“It’s okay. Hey, it’s new. Well, not really, but you know what I mean. We’re relying heavily on electric power now, so some things must be aligned. Good news is that the unit as it is, is okay. We just delve deeper into its mind, rewrite some stuff and we’re back in the game.”

He visibly relaxed, sitting beside you at the computer station from where you operated with the unit which was connected from the garage to the diagnostic station.

After a while of looking into the computer, clicking on the keyboard a little you managed to find an error code that resulted in the battery failure.

Repairing it, you hummed under your breath and you could hear the cheers from the garage when the battery finally came back to life. Looking at Andrew, you chuckled.

“You shouldn’t be the one doing this, one of the mechanics should be doing it instead.”

“Tell that to the boss. You’re the one he’s actually listening to.” Andrew hid a little smirk and you furrowed your brows with confusion.

But you quickly brushed that off, walking back towards the car, to check it. It was now running as it should, ready to head back on the track.

“So, now you can take this beast out.” Your smile was contagious, everybody around grinning and laughing in joy but also in relief.

Toto caught your gaze from his desk in the back, a hint of a smile flashing across his face. And what was even worse, it made your stomach flutter with something you couldn’t quite place.

MERCEDES BACK ON THE TRACK

BATTERY ISSUES RESOLVED

WHO'S THAT ENGINEER HIDING UNDER THE SUNGLASSES?

Scrolling through your phone, the media were onto you like hawks. Taking a sip of the coffee, you sat at the hospitality bar, enjoying some alone time. Yes, you could watch the car on the track, but you decided for some peace for yourself.

A strong hand appeared on your back, when someone brushed around you, taking a seat next to you. Toto.

“Ah, here you are. Always hiding from the world.” He muttered, now being relaxed and smiling. That was refreshing, this man was stressing too much.

“You shouldn’t have to have Andy to handle the unit. I don’t question his abilities, but he has his own qualities and duties, and I think he’s quite great at those.” Shrugging your shoulders, you took a side glance at the older man.

Toto raised his brow at your audacity, only to smile amused.

“You want to have a say in the matters of my team? Very bold of you.”

He reached for the cup of coffee he took with him, his arm brushing yours slightly.

“Well, I’m just saving you a possible trouble on the race weekend because now we have time but then we won’t be so lucky to solve problems like these with just one click.” You were serious.

Toto always appreciated your insight, you were one of the few people who he actually listened to, and who he liked to be around.

Many times he spent the night working overtime in the last couple of months when you were struggling with others to get it right for the new set of regulations.

But whenever you moved one step forward, he moved two steps back, it was weird and sometimes you didn’t even question it.

After a long moment of silence, he decided to speak up. “So, what if… what if I offered you a chance to work for me here? Like on the track, in the garage, on race weekends?”

Your body shifted to turn to look at him with wide eyes. “You are fucking kidding me right now. Don’t joke about this, Toto.”

Your reaction had him laughing softly, his nose scrunching in that lovely way and he sipped his coffee.

“I’m dead serious. Having someone like you with us is quite a gift. You can solve the problems in no time, and truth to be told, the new power unit is like your own child. You created that thing.”

That much appreciation, it tugged on your heartstrings, because the effort you put in your work was really worth it.

“Brackley is one thing but… working along with you in the garage is the greatest pleasure I could wish for.” You were so out of yourself that you lunged forward to hug him.

It surprised him, making him gasp but he quickly wrapped his strong arms around you, inhaling your scent involuntarily. And hell, you were so sweet.

A while after you parted from him, leaning back into your seat, trying to play it off. “I’m sorry, I was taken aback by my emotions.”

“No need to be sorry, I’m glad you’re happy.”

The hotel lobby was packed with guests related to the testing and you managed to get through the crowds into the dining hall. Spotting Bradley in the corner, he waved at you and as you grabbed some food, you took a seat at his table.

“You did a hell of a good job out there today.” He praised you, stuffing his mouth with something that looked like a chicken sandwich.

Taking a bite of the pizza, you shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly.

“I’m just doing what I know the best. That’s all.”

“And he likes it. A very rare sight.” Bradley smiled smugly, continuing to eat his portion.

“Bradley…”

“Sorry, I’m just stating what I see. Everyone at Brackley knows just by the looks. The tension. He’s bossing you around and you like it. You’re talking and he eats up every single one of your words. Surely you should consider hitting it off together…” he murmured the last thing.

“Bradley!” You whisper shouted and your cheeks heated up.

“Ha! You’re blushing.” He let out a soft giggle, like a teenage girl, it was embarrassing and funny at the same time.

“I can’t! He’s my boss, for god’s sake.” You took another bite swallowing hard, rubbing your forehead.

Hell, you would smother Toto with all of your affection that grew towards him through time.

“Just prepare to fall in love more with him when you’re about to spend the whole season with us. I bet he’ll want you close.” Bradley chuckled, whispering the last word and then he got up and disappeared in the hallway.

Sitting there, chewing on the last bits of the pizza, you thought about it, about what others had said to you that day.

And how Toto was behaving whenever you were near, acting like a little happy puppy.

Brushing it off, you got up from the table, walking to the direction of your hotel room.

Toto stopped in his tracks, catching a glimpse of you across the hall. He watched you eating your dinner, and how you flawlessly walked out without noticing him.

It was almost scary how you were able to make him weak in his knees, for your age you were so smart and you had it all together. He adored you, not only for your talent and logic, but for your personality. Ever since his divorce, he put his attention and heart into the business, working hard on the new regulations, not knowing how you’d affect his life.

From that day on, you started working along the team in the garage, every weekend filled with adrenaline and many adventures.

The power unit was getting used to every possible condition on the track, every possible weather being easier and easier with each race.

You taught many people how to solve problems along the way, practices filled with debriefings. It became a habit that Toto took you to have dinner together after Saturday's qualifications. You two grew closer, but still you kept your respectful distance to not appear like someone who’s taking advantage of being favourite and climbing up the career ladder. Genuinely you loved the opportunity he gave you, enjoying every single second of it.

Singapore was really demanding for everybody in the paddock, the heat and humidity being exhausting.

Wiping off the sweat from your forehead, walking in the garage, you noticed Toto’s concern written over his face while he stared into some data on his computer.

“You look like you’re about to kill somebody.” You chuckled, appearing next to him, looking over his shoulder as he sat.

Toto let out a grunt, sighing softly. “I’m very skeptical about the data we collected yesterday. The performance is vary, batteries overheating and losing power. Guess we have to be more focused on the engine and the fuel. I’m aware of the damages that could occur while driving in this maddening heat.”

You hummed, thinking about various scenarios but you held a calm expression. He turned his gaze at you, and sometimes he was getting irritated by your peaceful appeal, it was a great contrast to his annoyed moods.

Leaning closer to read something on display, your finger followed the line of the performance diagram. He could see how the gears were turning in your brain, unlike him, his brain just short circuiting at the way your scent filled his mind.

“You know, there’s that little feature that will cool down the battery pack. I thought we’re gonna use it way before but it was easy to maintain the temperature until now. So, don’t worry. We got this.” You grinned, masterplan forming in your mind, moving your head to look straight into his eyes. You didn’t know how close you were like this, only a breath away.

As if the world stopped, Toto’s eyes fell on your lips, the tiny wrinkles around them that made you even more cute than you already were.

His eyes had a certain dark depth that you could easily drown in. You could stare into them for a lifetime and not get bored. His face was more soft now, reflecting his devotion from his heart.

Clearing your throat you retrieved back, walking to your own work station, catching amused smiles of Andrew and Bradley by the way.

Toto shifted in his seat, to look more composed. George and Kimi stood a few feet away the whole time, not quite surprised by the scene.

“We got this, boss. Yeah.” George chuckled and Kimi nudged his ribs by his elbow to shut him up.

“Not appropriate, George.”

The boss shot them a sharp look. “I think you have better things to do than to wander around.”

Both of them nodded and went to their other duties.

Toto turned to take a glance into your direction, noticing how you exchanged stares with Andrew and Bradley, who looked so smug.

With a grunt, he turned back to his computer, hiding a soft pink tint on his cheeks.

The quali went right for Mercedes, George was able to secure a pole position and Kimi ended up P3.

All the struggles with overheating were right there, you managed to push the coolant through the power unit to the maximum level, but still there were many casualties, you grew irritated.

Toto was counting on your usual dinner “date” after the busy day, but you stayed in the garage for a bit longer, trying to figure out what to do for the next day.

Jumping from one sheet to another, you went through many data, diagrams and you slowly felt like you’re going crazy. You would swear that your armpits were full of sweat, your hair a little damp from the humidity also.

Toto was waiting for you for a moment longer and he knew better. Talking to some people from the hotel restaurant, he took meals to boxes and got on the way back to the paddock.

Blinding light coming from the front told him that you’re there, enveloped by the silence, now looking deep into the engine, your fingers smudged with the motor oil. If it was for somebody else, he would scream in anger and be frightened that someone is digging through the precious power unit, but not in the case of you.

“I wondered where you were.” His voice cut through the air, you shifted with a soft huff.

“Jesus, Toto.” You muttered, all focused on the task you had been doing for the past few minutes.

Placing the boxes with meals aside, he moved closer to you.

“So, how's it going?”

“So far so good. I made some changes and I ran it through the system, I think we’re good for tomorrow's race.” You wiped your hands into the cloth and you looked at the cover of the engine.

Toto understood what you’re thinking about and took a step in front of it.

“Let the mechanics do that in the morning. I won’t let you handle it yourself. Even though you already did in the first place…” he raised his brow in disapproval.

You chuckled and nodded, eyes noticing the box with the food. “You brought dinner to me, huh?”

He smiled widely. “Yeah, because you’re even too focused to eat properly.”

Sitting next to each other at the nearby bench, you only hummed in contentment, your eyes still flicking towards the car occasionally.

“Have you ever considered dating? You seem so lonely.” It came out of his mouth so quickly, he regretted it instantly.

You raised your brows in slight surprise, gulping the bite of the meal.

“Oh…well, I don’t feel like that. My work is my passion, so…” you stuck the fork into the food, suddenly losing appetite.

“Look, I’m sorry— uh—“ he tried to apologise but you got up from the bench, a slight smile appearing on your lips.

“That’s okay. You care. And that means a lot.” Your eyes locked in his and you swore that the temperature in the space raised rapidly.

Toto sat there, flabbergasted by the tension, his mouth parted a bit.

When he didn’t say anything, you inhaled sharply, closing the meal box and heading out of the garage.

“Thanks for dinner, good night.”

As he sat there, completely still, staring at the car, he cursed something in German under his breath. He felt so stupid, every chance he got to be alone with you, he fucked it up.

And you acted like you’re not bothered at all.

But that was a lie.

You were bothered to your bones. Because falling asleep alone in your bed every night when you knew he’s a few rooms away from you, it was tormenting you.

Rushing through the paddock, you grabbed the coffee along the way, the buzz of excitement for the race day coursing through your veins. You were thrilled to see how your adjustments worked out.

George was already going over some sheets with Marcus and Andrew with Toto standing behind them, his brows knitted together.

“Morning.” You called out through the garage, settling into your work station, sipping coffee.

Nobody gave you attention, but that was okay, because they were indulged in the many things important to the upcoming race.

But Toto nodded into your direction, you smiled softly, averting your gaze to the display in front of you.

The race went smoothly, the heat was overwhelming for every single point of it, tyres were melting, the engine was on fire but it was still manageable.

Topping all of that, George secured the P1, winning the race. A cheerful atmosphere filled the whole garage, you grinned widely, happy with yourself, the adrenaline vibrating through your body.

Toto was beyond himself, face glowing like a Christmas tree. He approached you, lifting you up into a tight embrace. Your face ended up in the crook of his neck, your lips brushing over his skin, a lightning bolt shooting through him.

You clung onto him, holding him tightly as he was about to sublime. From outside it looked like a genuine hug.

“You’re gonna go up the podium with George.” He whispered into your ear.

A breath hitched in your chest, pulling away from him, with an unbelievable smile plastered over your face.

“No way.”

Surreal. That was how you felt standing proudly on the podium, clutching the trophy for the winning constructors team. Your eyes welled up with tears, the crowd was chanting George's name and your body was trembling with so many emotions.

Meeting Toto’s eyes down under the podium, you couldn’t help but smile, mirroring his own, the moment belonging only to you two.

The season was slowly nearing its finish, Mercedes had already secured both of the championships.

Your name lingered through the paddock like a mantra, a sudden hunger for your abilities made all the other teams do the strategy to pull you on their sides.

Las Vegas got your head spinning, all the glowing lights and celebrities around, you wanted to get through the weekend with grace and peace.

You bumped into a solid body, a strong pair of hands steadying you in your place.

“Oh, sorry! You okay?” Jonathan Wheatley, team principal of the Audi team. His people were hunting you down for some time, offering you various contracts, to have you working for them.

You looked at the man, a sigh escaped your throat. “Mr. Wheatley.”

Jonathan only smiled softly. “What about we get some coffee, hm?”

His arm was around your shoulders, it looked friendly but you knew it was his strategy to woo you.

From a distance, Toto saw it all. His teeth gritted, jaw locked tight, he knew exactly what Wheatley was doing.

And he couldn’t allow that to let it slip.

Jonathan handed you a cup of coffee, still smiling as you stood nearby the stand at the hospitality. You liked to be a part of the paddock, chatting and catching up with others but since you were like a prey, you felt uneasiness spreading through your body.

“Thanks.” You mumbled, taking a sip immediately.

“So. You turned down every offer my people gave you.” Jonathan licked his lips, raising his brow in curiosity, watching you intently.

Looking to the side, you nodded. “Yeah. That’s true.”

“Why? You want more money? More power to have a say in important things?” He pressed into the matter.

Letting out a huff, you chuckled, biting your lip. “Look, Mr. Wheatley—“

“I told you it’s Jonathan for you.” His charismatic smile reigned on his face.

“Jonathan. I don’t want to work for your team. I’m good as I am. And where I am.”

Jonathan pursed his lips. “Good being around the moody wolf?”

“Especially that.” You murmured and that was when a broad and tall man took a place beside you, his arm brushing against yours. A peace washed over your mind, your body relaxing, because you knew you were out of trouble.

“Jonathan. I thought you had better things to worry about. Your shitty car, maybe.” Toto shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, but you knew he was being a jerk. You hid your amused smile, enjoying how Jonathan squirmed underneath Toto’s glare.

“You always have to ruin all the fun, Toto, really.” Wheatley mumbled, sipping his coffee.

“Forget about getting any of my people. I can offer them a lot more than you ever will.” Toto sounded sharp and nonnegotiable.

Jonathan hummed, rolling his eyes and walking away towards the Audi garage.

Letting out a sigh of relief, you glanced at the tall man.

“Thanks for saving me. I’m starting to lose my mind.”

His arm wrapped around your shoulders, he subconsciously pulled you closer, whispering into your hair.

“I won’t let them take you away. I’m gonna fight every single one of them.”

Your cheeks heated up and you swallowed hard.

“Thanks.”

Vegas was another of those successful races, the party was in full swing, Kimi and George having the time of their lives at the huge club on the strip.

You tried to party, but you ended up standing aside from the crowd. Bradley joined you, he was like your saviour from the unwanted attention when Toto was not in sight.

“I heard Wheatley cornered you today.” He took a sip of his drink, scanning the crowd, still swaying a little to the melody of music.

You sighed. “He did. Not very comfortable.”

“And I also heard that our knight in the shining armor saved you from the hungry beast.” His voice was full of smugness.

“Bradley—“

“It’s getting hard to not notice, darling. He would lay down on the ground just for you to walk. He’s so into you.”

“I should go to sleep.” You placed the drink on the bar.

“I bet he’s lying somewhere in the hotel room, thinking about you and plotting how he’s gonna hide you from those idiots.” He wiggled his brows amused.

“I don't want to listen to this.” You raised your hand to shut him up and you left the club.

Walking into the hotel, you took the way through the hallway, rubbing your temples.

Everywhere you looked, there he was. Toto was your breakfast, lunch and dinner. He was the coffee you drank every day, he was your everything.

“How was the party?” His voice echoed through the space and you almost tripped over the luxurious carpet. Turning around, his head peeked from the hotel room.

Your cheeks were pink from the alcohol, lips swollen a little.

“You weren’t there, so, very bad.”

That took him by surprise, his eyes blinking. “Oh.”

A silence. Again.

You huffed, walking closer to him, with your brows furrowed.

“Why are you so silent all the time when it gets serious? It’s fucking frustrating, Toto.” You blurted out, crossing your arms across your chest.

His lips parted, breath hitched. “Uh— what?”

“Everybody says that you’re over the moon with me. And yeah, I’m not stupid nor blind. But what can I do when you’re acting so unbothered? Jesus fucking Christ…” you mumbled, whining through your words, hand running into your hair.

His lips twitched in an amused smile, leaning against the doorway of his hotel room.

“Unbothered? That’s what you think?”

You glanced at him, brows knitted together. “Yes!”

He nodded, reaching for your chin with his hand, bringing you closer to capture your lips in a soft kiss.

You froze to the ground, not able to think straight, your brain was blank.

Pulling away from you, he noticed the shocked expression on your face and he slid his palm further your cheek to caress it.

“I’m anything but unbothered. I can’t focus when you’re near, I can’t exist without you. You’re in everything and everywhere. Even that stupid engine is wearing your signature that I can’t shake off.”

Your heart almost stopped at this confession, you fell forward, only to be captured into his arms, pulling you inside his hotel room.

“Are you for real?” You whispered carefully, eyes darting onto his face.

“I was never more sure with anything else in my life, liebes.” Toto’s breath fanned over your face, putting the strands of your hair behind your ears.

“Holy fuck. They were right.” Your mind spun and he guided you to sit on the bed in the centre of the room.

You rubbed your temples with a laugh.

“Bradley, Andrew, everybody implying you being head over heels for me.”

Toto raised his brow, shaking his head in disbelief.

“So nosy.”

“Toto, I… if we’re gonna give it a shot, it will be hard, there will be tabloids full of shit. Conflict of interest.” You placed your hand over his, the sudden touch almost made you melt.

Wrapping his hand around your fingers, he nodded, his look falling down to his lap.

“I know. Let's take it slow. There’s gonna be a winter break after the seasons end, and we can just disappear. Spend that time together. Getting to know each other better.” He suggested, lifting his gaze.

“Better than we already know?” You couldn’t help but giggle.

“There are still some things we need to work on more.” His lips curled into a smirk.

Your face fell into a confused one. “Huh?”

Toto leaned closer to your ear. “I want you to look at me the same you look at that freaking power unit inside our car.” And he placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, leaving you absolutely speechless.

It was easier said than done, keeping it under the radar.

You tried your best to keep your distance, to keep your gaze focused on the car, but you couldn’t help but steal a few kisses there and there, hiding from nosy reporters.

The end of the season in Abu Dhabi was here and you were expected to be in the first row for all those celebrations that followed after the coronation of the world champion, which was George Russell.

Toto’s family was also there, his kids and also ex wife Susie.

You had a great respect towards them, you acted your best through all that charade whenever they were near.

“Have you noticed that girl from the back?” Rosa leaned closer towards Benedict who cocked his brow.

“You mean that one who’s in charge of the battery?”

“Yeah, I guess?” She shrugged her shoulders, both of them now watching you.

Susie held Jack's hand, overhearing a conversation of the Wolff’s siblings. She measured you with her look, up and down then taking in how Toto held special glances for you.

Smiling smugly, she turned at them. “Your father is so down for this lady.”

“How do you know?” Ben asked, but Rosa rolled her eyes.

“She was his wife, she knows the best.” She let out a small chuckle.

You felt prying eyes on your back and you didn’t dare to look around. George was ecstatic about everything possible, hugging everyone in the garage, tears of joy flowing down his cheeks. It was the hard work of the whole team, and he was eternally grateful.

Toto took a few steps to stand beside you, leaning closer to you but keeping that professional distance.

“So, how does it feel to win?”

You couldn’t help but smile, looking down on the floor, rocking a little on your feet.

“It’s addictive.” Finally you glanced up at him, meeting his eyes.

A little smirk lit up his face. “I can’t wait for us to get some break.”

“Oh, well. Me too.” You bit back your wide grin.

Bradley stood afar and Andrew joined him. “You owe me, you know that?”

“Pff. There is no proof they’re hitting it off.” Bradley furrowed his brows with prideful glare.

“Come on. Everybody who’s not eternally blind can see the tension between them.” Andrew scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Focus on your duties instead.” Bradley smiled smugly walking off.

“Finally alone.” Toto murmured into your hair, holding you close to his chest after you arrived at the cabin in the woods, snow falling heavily outside, the promise of spending some time alone together being intoxicating.

Chuckling softly, you were wrapped around him like a snake, unable to get off. And he didn’t mind at all.

For the first few nights you almost broke the bed in the master bedroom from how passionate you were about making love. The hunger between you was insatiable, you couldn’t think about anything else than having him close, the smell of his skin driving you insane and his touch bringing you to the highest of the high.

Some days you didn’t even eat, only drank some water and then fell asleep from absolute exhaustion.

You never experienced this, you only heard that from the girls when you were in college, that once you meet the right guy, it’s gonna change everything in your brain chemistry and you will be craving him nonstop.

Some media were questioning where Toto Wolff is spending his winter break, his sudden disappearance being weird. You also laughed at some tabloids while you were snuggled against each other next to a fireplace in the evenings.

It felt easy and light, everything was filled with warmth and love, Toto devoured you like a goddess, being the god himself.

Whenever you were talking, you filled his sentences and you shared the same humour, laughing your heart out at your jokes.

Also he was finally the one who could understand your technical language, you told him all about your journey to your degrees, how you spent many hours and even days in the garage of your granddad, your interest in mechanical engineering peaking when you were about to graduate from high school.

Toto was listening to every word you said, drinking in your facial features that were mimicking the things you were telling him, every scrunch of your nose or how your mouth curved in that prettiest smile of yours. Heavenly.

Right before the season of 2027 started, your relationship leaked into the media. Your phone was flooded with messages and emails, even some death threats coming through the socials.

The reality of your connection to Toto hit you hard enough to realise that you were growing tired of being public, of being present in the garage. All this popularity was slowly killing your passion for engineering, for cars and engines.

“Toto? You have a moment?” One day, maybe two weeks before Melbourne, you spent a quiet afternoon in Toto’s apartment in Monaco.

He lifted his gaze from the laptop, brows in slight confusion. “Yeah?”

Fiddling with your hands, you walked closer to his figure, sitting beside him on the small couch in his office. The soft breeze from the open window caressed your cheek, it was hard to look him into his eyes, from what laid heavy in your mind.

“I was thinking.”

He noticed your discomfort, placing the laptop to the side, turning to face you fully.

“Then tell me.”

You reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. “That pressure of being seen as your girlfriend, I— uh— I want to be more than that.”

Your eyes met and Toto’s got slightly wide. “You mean— what? But we’re together for a while, I’m—“

You shook your head with a little laugh. “No, not like that, jesus, no. I mean… I want to go back to my old job at Brackley.”

Well, that may hurt more than he could ever imagined. Without you by his side on the race weekends. You somewhere in England when he’d be all over the world. With a soft sigh, he averted his gaze outside.

“That’s a lot. And it’s right before the start of the season…”

You nodded, swallowing hard. “I’m sorry, I just— it’s too much. I feel that I want to be what I always was and what I am. I don’t want to be marked as your woman instead of the woman who constructed the greatest power unit Mercedes ever had.”

Toto felt proud at that point, you really were an extraordinary talent, your ability to work in the garage, trying to figure out shitty things along the way and still putting so much effort to be a support for the development team in the factory was actually insane.

“Okay, then, if that’s what you want and what will make you happy. So be it. I’ll call my people and you’re gonna get back.” He pulled you close, hugging you tight.

Why did it feel like he’s gonna lose you?

“Where’s your awesome girl? Jet lag messing with her head?” Zak Brown, always the one to tease everybody on the grid, much more now because last year his team lost big time.

Toto walked through the paddock, sweat rolling down his spine, he felt like his other half was missing, and in reality it was, you were in England, already starting your new projects with the development department.

“Get lost, Zak.” He growled, adjusting his sunglasses on his nose.

“Trouble in paradise?” Zak pushed forward with a mischievous smile.

Bradley and Marcus appeared just in time, pulling Toto away from the papaya boss.

George stood beside the car, watching it as the mechanics were preparing everything. Andrew adjusted his headset, brows knitted in focus, it was his first time to be responsible for the power unit being able to do its work for practice. You taught him everything, every possible scenario, he had a plan for it.

And just like that, Mercedes started with 1-2 in Melbourne.

Around July, you were so deeply invested into your job, that you almost forgot about the race weekend at Silverstone. You promised Toto you’re gonna attend.

Arriving through the back entrance, where nobody could bother you by the annoying questions and taking pictures of you, you appeared in the garage, catching everybody by surprise.

“Holy hell, she’s here! I told you!” Bradley smacked Andrew’s shoulder with a wide grin.

It was like coming home. But as if something was missing. Nothing was the same. You felt different. And you didn’t understand why.

Toto smiled, sitting at his desk, gesturing for you to come to him. Once you were close, he placed a soft kiss against your forehead, his lips brushing over your skin for a moment longer.

He longed for you, it felt like a constant torture to look over his shoulder without you in your usual spot.

“Missed me?” You smiled, teasing him a little, your arms wrapped around his neck.

“You have no idea.” He murmured, collecting his composure.

With a hum, you turned to look at the car, he noticed your stare having that special gleam of interest. In that moment he realised that you won’t look at him like that ever. And maybe it was time to just admit it.

Before the start of the race, you gathered your courage to get out of your comfort zone and you walked out of the garage, to grab some coffee.

While waiting for your order to come, you noticed a short and slim man approaching you and at first you didn’t know who that was, but then…

“Caffeine deficiency is no joke, right?” Laurent Mekies in flesh, standing beside you, offering you a half smile.

“Eh— right. Sure. Just making sure I don’t pass out.” You tried to joke around.

He ordered coffee for himself too, then turned his attention to you.

“Look, I’m gonna be honest. It’s hard to get to you, to even approach you. And I really appreciate your work. What you’re doing with Merc, holy hell, girl, you’re a rockstar. We’re very envious of your talent.”

You knew. It was like that every time. But RedBull never ever tried to contact you.

“Laurent, I— I really don’t want to be rude.” You grabbed your coffee cup, clutching it tightly.

Laurent still smiled like it was a no big deal. “I know. I’m sorry. I know that these talks should be held somewhere private, in the office, but I wanted to just stop by, tell you my offer and then… leave it up to you. No hard feelings. From my point of view, I know how you live for those cars. How you’re sparkling when you can talk about it, bring out some ideas.”

It tugged on your heartstrings, yeah, those engines were like your babies, you gave life to them. From the mere idea, through the sketch on the paper to a thing that was very much alive when roaring with power.

You loved Mercedes, with all your might, your heart laid there everywhere and in everything. But still, the idea of doing more, craving more experience was gnawing at you from the back of your head.

You promised to yourself you’d never leave.

But what if?

These opportunities weren’t coming again.

“What is your offer?” You finally asked with a curiosity written over your face, taking a first sip of your coffee.

Laurent was clearly caught off guard, he didn’t even expect you hearing him out. Clearing his throat, he gestured for you to sit at the table away from the prying eyes.

Settled in your seats, he took a quick glance sideways, swirling the coffee in the cup.

“Some people at the Ford Racing Company dug deeper into your work, following your path down to the point you achieved your college degrees. They even read through your diploma thesis, every single report you published from your progress in development for Mercedes. Even if those were just fragments that couldn’t give a big picture of secrets of that victorious hungry power unit you constructed, they gathered all they needed to wait. Many teams reached out to you with some sort of contracts, trying to pull you to the dark side…” he chuckled at his own joke and you just shrugged with an eye roll.

“They— we want you to work with us at Red Bull Powertrains. Not just to beat the Mercedes, of course, yeah, sure, but for your devotion to the technology and engineering. To give you more opportunities to be in a leading role in it all.”

The silence that went after was deafening even through the buzz from the paddock. You stared into the void for a moment, sipping the beverage, taking in all the pros and cons.

You will betray Toto. And every possible friend you made along the way of your career. George will despise you for making a, maybe, better engine for Max Verstappen than for him.

You were considering the offer already? Oh my god. Something in your veins ignited fire. The idea of getting to know a new kind of technology? Jesus, you were really living for engines.

“No pressure. Just think it through. Take it or leave it. Nobody needs to know. It’s up to you. But those people at Ford know your salary. They want to multiply it by five.” The way Laurent spoke scared you a little. He was so calm, collected, watching his surroundings.

Your eyes went wide. It sounded so freaking interesting.

Everything in your life was at stake.

Toto took you out for a dinner, England being rainy and cloudy, you sat inside at the window and you caught yourself counting the droplets of rain, thinking about what Laurent said to you earlier that day. You tried so hard to hide it, the excitement burned through your body and you wanted to tell your man. Really. But—

“Liebes?” His deep voice echoed through your ears, bringing you back to the solid ground.

“Uh? Sorry, I was— just having some thoughts.” You smiled softly, rubbing your neck.

The waitress brought your meals and you grew quiet again. Toto noticed that you were acting differently from your usual bickering about spare parts or something about the software.

Chewing on his bite, he watched you, your hands moving in a different way, as if you tried to act like nothing's going on with you.

“Spill it out.” He grunted, placing his utensils beside the plate.

You sighed, mirroring his action, lifting your gaze to meet his chocolate eyes. Toto was nice, his embrace was soft and warm, his life tasted sweet and he would die on the spot for you.

But would you do the same for him? Your work meant more to you than anything else in the world. And not a single person could change that.

“I don’t want to ruin this perfect dinner.” You mumbled, fingers running over the edge of the worn out wood of the table.

“Something's going on with you, that beautiful brain of yours is working overtime.” He reached out for your hand and his thumb went over your knuckles.

What you were gonna say was about to change everything.

“I received an offer from Red Bull and Ford Powertrains.”

Toto felt like his blood turned cold, his heart stopped. Face pale, he squeezed your hand unconsciously, brows furrowed.

“Of course, they try that.” He huffed, annoyed at the mere idea.

“Toto—“ you tried to speak again, but he interrupted.

“I hope you declined. You know better than to work with those assholes.”

You felt your chest tightening, your instincts telling you to fight for that stupid contract like a mother tigress for their tiny cubs.

“What?” You choked out.

“Don’t you tell me that you’re considering it?” He leaned back into his seat, measuring you with his wolfish stare.

As if you were suddenly so small, your head turned to the window. You have already decided what you want.

“I’m sorry, Toto.”

His hand quickly moved away from yours, as if you were something dirty. Something stinky.

“No.” It sounded like a denial.

You finally landed your glance at him. “Yes. I will stand out from my duties in Brackley from tomorrow. The development of the power units will continue under Doriane’s supervision. I will take my annual leave and by the end of the season my contract with Mercedes will expire.”

Your words took his breath away. He literally couldn’t breathe. Someone so close to him just carved a hole into his chest.

“Why Red Bull? Why? Out of everyone out there… why them?” His voice was hoarse from the desperation that vibrated through his body.

“Because they were the only ones who didn’t hunt me. They waited. And took the best time to talk to me.”

“I don’t understand… you’re not happy? What can I do to make you stay? Please, stay, please. For me.” His hand reached for yours again, but this time it was you who retrieved it before he could even touch you.

“There’s one thing, Toto, that will never change. You often said it yourself. I won’t ever look at you the same as I do at those engines. I love what I’m doing, I love to create something, to be overwhelmed by the world of technology. And when someone offers me something different, something that can lead me to new directions, to some new experiences, you can’t expect me to turn it down.” Your face was all so serious, it made his heart break even more.

But you can make it through this, right?

“Okay, I just– I need some time to think it through, to let this news settle in my bones.” he ran a hand through his hair, looking to the side, shifting in his seat.

You felt something stabbing you from behind into your back, only to realise it was you alone.

“Look, Toto. Let’s face it. It won’t work out with me at Red Bull.”

Wolff was flabbergasted. Absolutely shook.

Not only was he about to lose you professionally, you were about to break up with him.

“No. No. Don’t, please–” he muttered, his voice full of pain and defeat.

You trembled slightly, knowing that you have to do this. For better or worse. For the sake of both of your careers and names.

“I’m sorry. So sorry. It was real, believe me. I loved you, I still do, I–” you tried to swallow your own tears, but your eyes welled up.

Toto bit his lip, holding back his own emotions. Out of all things in the world, he hated to see you cry.

“All of this because of Red Bull… I guess they might be my demise after all…” he murmured, his eyes falling onto the plate with an unfinished meal.

“I don’t know what to say.” and it was true. You said everything you had on your mind, truth but only truth, knowing that this was the final stop for you both.

His eyes caught yours and he nodded.

“Promise me you’re gonna be careful. You’re stepping into a big thing with no other than sharks.”

You softly nodded, being well aware of what you’re doing. “I promise.”

The news spread quickly, after Mercedes posted their statement about Doriane’s change of duties and everybody put one plus one together.

You were quiet, saying goodbye with your team in private, it was harder than you expected.

But all so worth it. The team in the garage organised a little celebration for you when you paid them a one last visit at Spa. George was throwing daggers your way but at last he wished you well, making teasing remarks.

Toto stood in the back, watching the scene. His eyes reflected the pain he held deep in his soul, the hole you carved into his heart bleeding like crazy.

But was it love in the end that held you two close?

Maybe it was the passion for Mercedes, for a victory, oblivious affection that came out of the utmost closeness you experienced while working along in the same team.

You deserved the best after all. And he’d hurt everybody who would want to take it from you.

For a year after your departure from Mercedes, you went into total radio silence, shutting down your socials and delving into the depths of getting along with the team in the Red Bull Powertrains. You were amazed by the way more different technology they used.

There were some papers and signatures were written for you to not be able to use your knowledge of the Mercedes system, and many fees were placed upon your head, so you were really careful to not overstep with your actions.

It was two years later, the biggest comeback of Red Bull was expected, every possible media paid for even a tiny space to catch a glimpse of the new car developed by your team.

Your name was spelled in many languages, some dug into your past, some took to the light how brilliant you are as an development engineer.

Your attendance was awaited in Bahrain, testing the engine for another season.

Nobody dared to touch the car before you, from the final tests in the Ford factory to the point of parking the car in the garage, it all depended on you.

And you loved every second of it.

Laurent walked by your side along with Max Verstappen, who was chatting with you. With his input, you were able to get it all together in the past year you spent literally glued to your chair in the development department.

People in the paddock stopped in their tracks to notice you, it was weird seeing you wearing a simple RedBull shirt, you were not a very much brand person, you didn’t wear any Mercedes clothes before but this time you decided it’s not that bad of an idea.

From that day you visited the Mercedes garage the last, it was also the last day you talked to Toto. He didn’t reach out, he let you go. And you appreciated it.

Walking past him wasn’t on your bingo card but you were prepared for it to happen.

Toto stood aside, answering questions about something related to the car, looking good as usual.

Taking a slight peek from under your eyelashes was enough to capture his gaze, already taking you in while speaking about some issues with the car. A brief moment of sharing an acknowledging nod, it sparkled an electric shock through your body and you didn’t understand why.

Why were you suddenly reacting like this?

Whatever, focus on your big thing today.

The atmosphere in the Red Bull garage was amazing, cheerful. Still you felt some nerves creeping up your spine, what if the car won’t be able to give 100% performance?

Battery seemed okay, engine wasn’t overheating and tyre management was not bad. Max was pleased, surprised as hell by how good the steering felt, it was like heaven.

Laurent hid his excitement behind small smiles, he knew they didn’t take a wrong turn with you.

On the other hand, Mercedes was doing great too. Their car swished out on the track, testing times matching with Max’s.

Toto had his face clenched tight, trying to focus on the displays before him, but his eyes were flicking towards the side to see how other teams were doing and he couldn’t help but be impressed by what you were able to put and squeeze out of the power unit made by Ford.

As the season progressed, Max and George were the main rivals and potential contenders for a victory of the championship.

You occasionally visited the paddock for the weekend, having a team of the people to handle the business of the power unit, you could solve problems remotely.

Monaco GP was glorious, your attendance was recommended, you were about to meet with all the sponsors and shareholders.

The buzz of the crowds was overwhelming a little, your PR officer making sure you’re looking good, following you around to help you get through with all the interviews and stuff.

Talking to many people, you discussed the technology and performance, glowing like a star when you were delved into the depths of the case you loved.

Finishing your media duties after qualifying, you made a way through the paddock, only to bump into a solid figure, almost tripping.

A strong pair of hands held you by your shoulders, the well known scent lingering in your brain, making you dizzy.

“You okay?” Toto’s deep voice echoed through your ears, his dark eyes watching you with concern.

Your cheeks blushed and you cleared your throat.

“Uh— yeah. Sorry.”

His fingers brushed against the naked skin of your bare shoulders, a simple touch drying your mouth.

“How's it going? I noticed you’re passed around like a small dog, everybody is mesmerised by you.” He grunted and cocked his brow. His sudden concern made your stomach turn in a weird way.

“Jealous?” You blurted with your hands at your waist.

“Me? Absolutely not. Why— ugh no.” He scoffed, looking to the side and you knew he’s lying.

“Yeah, sure. I bet you finally figured out the problem with the brakes, huh?” You took a jab into a sensitive thing, the one you heard as a rumour.

The way Toto gasped at your tone, his cheeks got red from a sudden flare of anger.

“How— hm. I won’t tell you a thing.” He crossed his arms over his chest. He could go, leave you alone, but he was still there.

“I don’t need you to tell me. I have eyes. I’m not blind. But whatever, I don’t care.” Your cockiness was overwhelming for him, he didn’t know you have it in you.

“Hm, of course. The brilliant woman, a gem of the engineering world.”

This clenched your heart, you knew what he was capable of saying when he was around his rivals, but you thought this would not be a case with you. But you were the one starting this fight.

“Sorry, I’m— sorry.” He murmured quickly.

Your face twisted in a frown and you rounded him, walking away towards your hotel.

The evening was filled with champagne, luxurious dinner, and many unwanted touches. Every possible man in the room tried to compliment your work only to get into your panties by it.

You were so done with that, but the glasses filled with the expensive alcohol were coming nonstop and the last thing you remembered was passing out in the bathroom.

A soft spring breeze caressed your cheek, slowly waking you up. Warmth spread through your body, a duvet brought you comfort.

With a soft hum, you opened your eyes, adjusting to the morning light that seeped through the curtains of the room you knew from a very distant memory.

Frowning a little, your head was pounding with a headache. Suddenly you realised that a man’s arm is loosely wrapped around your waist and you were scared to peek over your shoulder to see who it was.

Even though you already knew.

Slowly and carefully you slid out of the bed, turning around to take in the scene. Toto on his back, naked and still asleep.

Your eyes fell down your body, you were in your underwear you wore for the evening. Your dress was folded on the nearby chair, just like the old times you called this place home.

A quiet whimper left your throat, you ran a hand through your hair, looking out the half opened window. The view was straight down onto the track in Monaco and there were already people gathering for today’s race.

“I see you’re awake.” Toto’s voice flooded the room and you shifted abruptly to look at him. Your throat was sore and dry.

“I’m— what— how the hell did I end up here?” You dared to ask, not really remembering the last night's events.

He sat up on the bed, the duvet pooling in his lap. “You called me.”

“No, I didn’t. Why would—“ you grabbed your phone that was resting on the nightstand. Scrolling through the last calls, you spotted his name there.

“Fuck—“

“And I’m glad you did. Because that state you were in? What the hell were you thinking? As if you had no experience with the hungry men lurking around, taking any advantage of you. I bet they got you drunk to—“

“Don’t say it. Don’t. Please. Just don’t.” You closed your eyes shut, trembling at the thought.

A quiet moment stretched between you two and you decided to break it, opening your eyes again.

“Did we—“

He immediately shook his head. “No. You know me well enough that I would never use this situation to my benefit.”

You nodded, sighing deeply and then the heaviness of the situation dawned upon you. Taking a look at the clock your blood turned cold.

It’s Sunday. Race day. You’re supposed to be in the RedBull garage in an hour or so.

“Shit. I—“ you panicked and Toto caught it, getting on his feet, his body clad only in his underwear.

“Are you okay? No headache or…” he stopped a few inches from you, the heat of your skins mingling together and you could feel goosebumps forming on yours.

“Just a little, but I’m fine. I’ll be fine. What’s concerning me the most is the fact that I have to be at the paddock soon and I’m so far away from my hotel without my clothes.” Swallowing hard, you rubbed your temples.

“There are still some of your clothes and I can give you a ride.” Toto pointed to the wardrobe.

“Are you serious? Spotted together.” You bursted into a small laugh, already rummaging through the drawers and really there were some decent clothes you could wear.

“I don’t care.” He growled, standing there like a tall tree.

“I appreciate your help, but I have to do this alone. Somehow.” You murmured, pulling on the pants along with some shirt that had a Mercedes sign on it.

“Jesus— obviously I can’t wear this!” Your squeal was full of frustration and you looked for another one in the drawer.

Toto was fighting for life to not start laughing. You were so adorable.

“Tell me when you’re ready. I’ll be in the living room, waiting.” He said nonchalantly, leaving you in the room with no possibility of arguing with him.

In what was about half an hour, you walked into the room, he was ready, wearing his Mercedes shirt along with black pants.

Clutching your phone, and the purse where you had your dress packed, you hopped into his car, at the same time as him, and in no meantime you were on the way into the paddock.

Mentally thanking your intuition to have your pass in your phone, you walked through the gates, the press already on your toes.

You sped in front of him, trying to shield your face but Toto looked amused, flashing smiles to the world.

With a few quick strides, he was beside you, his arm brushing against yours.

“Thanks, but this is where I leave you.” You murmured, looking at him.

Toto nodded, not wanting to make it a big deal out of it.

Arriving into the Red Bull chaos, you quickly glanced at mechanics and your gaze ended up on Laurent in the corner, he was talking with Max about today’s strategy. His brows were knitted together and he gestured for you to join them.

A few steps later you took a place beside Max. “Looks good today, huh?”

“You and the old man hitting it again?” Max smirked, teasing you. You blinked twice, a breath caught in your throat.

“Surely you have a good story for being spotted leaving yesterday's party with him in one of his cars.” Laurent wasn’t so pleased.

“I know what it looks like, but it’s not like that. He helped me because I was drunk. That’s all.” You mumbled quietly, scanning the tablet with telemetry data.

Max nudged your hand, playful smile playing on his lips. “You know, heated rivalry between the teams is more than expected.”

Laurent wanted to slap both of you, but he just rolled his eyes.

“This is a serious matter. It could ruin your image in front of the team, people from Ford and even the world alone. Be careful next time, please.”

Nodding yes, you bit your lip, the image of Toto lying in bed in the morning still carved into your brain. It itched the scratch in your mind you didn’t think you needed.

Las Vegas once again.

George was two points ahead of Max in the championship and the tension in the team was palpable. You were driven by the victorious energy and also by the pressure of the Laurent, trying to manage to develop some improvements along the way, because you noticed how the battery was losing power sooner than expected.

There was a delay in the delivery of the components and you grew frustrated.

When one of the mechanics helping you on the repair of the engine started to yell at you, because, well, he was frustrated too, you lost it. Letting the tools fall out of your hands, you lifted them up in defeat and you fleeted out of the garage, leaving everybody speechless at your sudden gesture. It was so out of your determined persona.

You didn’t want to talk to anybody, you just wanted to be alone, to gather your thoughts. You hid in between the hospitalities, back sliding down the wall, your face resting against your knees.

Slowly, you realised how much you hate what you’re doing. The passion and love for the development, technology and hybrid power was gone. You caught yourself looking forward to the end of the season so you could have a break. But what next? If you hate it now, you won’t love it again next year.

Red Bull and Ford gave you great opportunities you cherished, you were grateful. But most of their people didn’t see you as more than just a pretty girl who happens to know how to talk about engines. They saw you like a chess piece they can move around in their own liking. It was no longer about your ideas, improvements or anything, you were just some woman. Others thought that a man would do it better. But what better they want if you constructed championship winning cars?

“Hey.” No, you don’t want him to see your mess. Not him.

“Toto…” you muttered through the tears you didn’t see coming.

He got down to your level, placing his hands on your knees, taking in your sad face. A frown etched over his face, a flash of sympathy in it.

“You okay?”

“Do I look like I’m okay?” You choked out, sniffling and he gave you his handkerchief to wipe your tears and blow your nose. You chuckled at the embroidery on the fabric, the small “TCW” on it was cute.

“Honestly, no.” He shared a little laugh with you.

“I’m tired, so so so tired…” you whispered, fresh tears spilling out of your eyes.

Toto reached out to wipe them with his thumbs. Your chest ached from the simple touch. You wanted him to hug you, to comfort you.

“I know. And it’s understandable.” His soft whisper was like a lullaby.

“I hate it.” You were so afraid to say it out loud, it even surprised him.

“What do you mean, liebes?” His fingers brushed a few loose strands from your forehead.

That nickname got you spiralling. You missed him so much, as if the crashing wave of the feelings you buried a little while ago hit you by now.

“I hate what I do. I don’t love it anymore. It doesn’t bring me joy. I hate the car, the Red Bull, the Ford, all those posh stupid things… It's not me.” Leaning into his touch, you hiccuped, slowly calming down.

“That’s bad. And it’s a shame. Because you’re a great engineer.” He tried to soothe you the best he knew.

“I’m done, Toto.” Your eyes locked with his and he nodded knowingly, not trying to coax your words.

“You need to figure this out. Don’t stay somewhere you’re not happy at. Listen to your heart. And you’re not gonna be wrong after.” Toto smiled gently.

“Thank you. Even after all this time you’re patient with me. Why?” You knew why. You just wanted to hear it.

With a sharp inhale, he looked to the side, his lips in the thin line.

“Because you’re hard to forget. I hold you dear to my heart still.” He managed to say.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” It caused you to cry even more.

“Oh no, don’t— it’s okay. It’s part of the world we’re working in. It happens.” He shushed you, pulling you into his lap as he sat on the cold ground, wrapping his arms around you, your head buried into his chest. You held onto him like if he was your lifeline.

“So sorry…” you murmured, sobbing softly.

“I’m sorry too.” He whispered into your hair, rocking slightly from side to side with you.

6 0

The number that was on the small and decent blueberry cake, and candles Toto blew off the day he celebrated his birthday.

Even though he was surrounded by his family and friends, he had only one wish for this day. Only one he imagined in his head with eyes closed, while Benedict encouraged him to blow the candles off.

You.

But it had been years since he last heard from you.

That day you broke down in his embrace in Vegas, you managed to keep it until the season was over with George being champion again, leaving Max behind by one point.

You announced your resignation a week after Abu Dhabi, causing a massive shakedown in the Red Bull powertrains that ended with the huge loss on the stock market.

They tried to sue you for the lost profit, but you delivered your last car construction on time, exactly how you promised and signed at the beginning, so Red Bull and Ford ended up paying you on the contrary.

Leaving the mess behind you, you practically vanished from the scene, with money that could buy you a lifetime.

Until now.

Toto sat on the porch of his house in Monaco, it was cold for January but he stayed outside anyway, enjoying the winter sunset. His kids were inside, watching some television or probably playing something on PlayStation.

Taking a sip of the whiskey from the glass, it tasted bitter, sweetness long gone. He wasn’t the one to fancy an alcohol, but from time to time, it seemed like a good idea.

Suddenly he heard a soft swish or a quiet hurl, it was hard to tell, his brows knitted in confusion. A small drone appeared from behind the house, stopping approximately two metres away from him, landing a small package on the ground in front of him and then it was gone like a puff.

He blinked twice, chest tight. He was scared at first that it’s some kind of a joke from the stupid fans and that he should be scared about his kids.

Curiosity got the best of him, he carefully opened the box, a rational part of his brain was telling him that it’s a bomb.

His heart clenched at the sight of what was really there.

A photo taken many years ago — you standing beside the formula one car, while Toto stood on the other side of it, talking to someone. You were staring at him with a wide smile and eyes full of love and devotion.

A small card was attached to it and he read it out loud:

“A proof of the fact that I was always looking at you the same I was looking at my engines.”

A laugh escaped his throat, small tears prickled in the corners of his eyes.

“Happy Birthday, Toto.” A warm voice sounded from behind him, a soft hand placed on his shoulder. Toto turned his head around to look up.

He almost had a heart attack.

You.

A little bit more mature, face gentle and sweet, peace glowing from the way you smiled.

With a quick shift he moved to hug you, holding you so tight with the fear of you disappearing.

“Oh, liebes…” he whispered into the crook of your neck.

“Toto…” you breathe out, with ease.

For a while you just stood there, holding each other close. Then he pulled back from you, to cup your face into his palms.

“Why the drone?" He was curious, because in your case it wasn’t a coincidence.

You gave him a smug smile. “That’s my new field of work.”

“Oh, really?” He was impressed.

“Really. I have my own company, I do my own products and things. You know… My business.” You let out a sharp exhale, joy glowing in your gaze.

“That’s pretty badass.” Toto hummed, caressing your cheeks.

The door of the house opened, revealing Rosa’s figure. “Are you in for a cake or you need some more time to kiss the life out of yourselves?”

You both laughed at her comment and nodded. “We’re there in a minute.”

Leaving them alone, Rosa got back into the house.

Toto looked deeply into your eyes, kissing your forehead, your hands placed over his own on your cheeks.

“Welcome back at home, liebes.” He whispered against your skin.

The sun set as you were walking inside the house, a promise of a new life together lingering in the air.

Tags: @chilling-seavey @tntpink @rosietoesf1 @hazeljisulatte @chiochip03 @jnywolff @bewitched-pearl

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