Hidden Dragon.

[obsessivedraconis]

🐲 Lover of the sky and the Gilded treasures. 🐲

I go by Scraps, and I am a dragon of greed and love.

You'll find in this side blog my thoughts and feelings, whether positive or negative, obsessive or loving. Maybe rants every once in a while.

This is my tag system.

🐲 About myself:

🐉 I go by he/they pronouns.

🐉 I am abrosexual and polyamorous.

🐉 I am otherkin, therian, and a furry.

🔥Basic DNIS:

🐉 Anyone under 17, beware.

🐉 No endos or supporters.

🐉 Any type of hurtful behavior will not be tolerated.

🐲 Feel free to learn more about me. I am an open tome.

[obsessivedraconis]

I know I stared.

But you look beautiful.

My heart was beating so fast and I was trying not to tear up.

Because in my mind, I think "what did I do to be able to have you in my life?"

"how can you be so devastatingly beautiful? so smart and amazing? and still have chosen me?"

there were so many songs and thoughts going on but they stopped for a moment.

[obsessivedraconis]

can't find it in me to finish the paragraph

[obsessivedraconis]

That dream i had? with all of our group grown up?

living in a nice house.

big plot of land

all the animals we wanted

chaos and harmony that felt just right

grown into our skin

happy.

it hurts to think about because i want it so bad, i want that ending

[obsessivedraconis]

I dont know how much more of my hurt and grief I can carry anymore.

My chest feels so tight

Oh, how it hurts. how it makes me wanna disappear,,

[obsessivedraconis]

how badly i want to go

[obsessivedraconis]

I'm sorry, I'm not strong enough my loves.

[obsessivedraconis]

I just want to be held now.

Cuddles, affection. Just for a few nights at least.

It won't fix anything. But comfort is something precious to me.

It makes me cling a little longer, a little tighter.

It is better than being left in an empty room with my thoughts.

I don't want to be alone.

We are communal animals; pack animals.

[obsessivedraconis]

I know I made a promise to you, my purple rose.

To live and love everyone who needs it.

You've told me that you're proud of me.

the lavender field and the beautiful house is what waits for me, you said.

I've been trying for 8 years to keep going for you; our family, my friends, everyone.

But I would be lying if I said I don't want to be there soon. My heart would be at peace. I'd see you again. I'd hug you for a long time. My heart would be happy. So happy,,

But I'm not allowed to be there yet, am I? Even if I begged for the quickest way out.

You'd send me back here like last time.

[obsessivedraconis]

Winter break on the first year of high school was supposed to be it.

It's been about 5 years since then.

You pulled me back, my purple rose.

I am half grateful, half hurt.

Grateful, because I wouldn't have fully met my partners and friend group.

Hurt, because I wanted to go back to you.

I'm trying to pour the love left over from you into others.

But I wish I was able to see you again, like you can see us. It hurts.

[obsessivedraconis]

I know I made a promise to you, my purple rose.

To live and love everyone who needs it.

You've told me that you're proud of me.

the lavender field and the beautiful house is what waits for me, you said.

I've been trying for 8 years to keep going for you; our family, my friends, everyone.

But I would be lying if I said I don't want to be there soon. My heart would be at peace. I'd see you again. I'd hug you for a long time. My heart would be happy. So happy,,

But I'm not allowed to be there yet, am I? Even if I begged for the quickest way out.

You'd send me back here like last time.

[obsessivedraconis]

staring at the bottle and it just makes me feel guilty.

I want to.. give up. But my heart won't let me.

But I have always been this way. It just resurfaced earlier than I thought.

The constant heartache, the constant feeling of not making it. That is all me. I would never blame my loved ones. It has always been like this; i just always know how to hide that hurt.

I care so much so deeply. That is my issue, my curse, in a way.

I will always feel it constantly in my heart, my chest.

It makes me irrational, illogical, easy to trigger.

I want to give up.

"One day, but not today".

I hope they can forgive me.

[obsessivedraconis]

better to tell the truth than keep it in,, I think its about time,,

[obsessivedraconis]

staring at the bottle and it just makes me feel guilty.

I want to.. give up. But my heart won't let me.

But I have always been this way. It just resurfaced earlier than I thought.

The constant heartache, the constant feeling of not making it. That is all me. I would never blame my loved ones. It has always been like this; i just always know how to hide that hurt.

I care so much so deeply. That is my issue, my curse, in a way.

I will always feel it constantly in my heart, my chest.

It makes me irrational, illogical, easy to trigger.

I want to give up.

"One day, but not today".

I hope they can forgive me.

[obsessivedraconis]

im so srpry

[obsessivedraconis]

I'm sorry

[obsessivedraconis]

My religious psychosis may be back but at this point I welcome it

.

God is she supposed to be just another lesson for me because I will lose my mind right now and cry because why bring someone into my life if we're not meant to be

I love her to hell and back and I want her here

So help me God if she's just another lesson I will damn near lose it

You already took one of the people I love

You are selfish for letting me love someone I can't even help

You are cruel if you only set her in my path only to take her away

Did you really want me to leave so bad?

Is this payback for not listening to my dream that day?

If I were to leave and move away, will you change their fate then?

Cause now I'm willing to try anything in order for her to be okay again

I'll even devote myself again if that's what you want

Just leave her alone

She's my Evangeline and I need her

is this just another cruel story of star crossed lovers with a lot more pain for us both using both of our fears?

You are so cruel and hurtful

Genuinely why let me let her into my life if it's not supposed to be

[obsessivedraconis]

I'll be waiting for you to call my name.

For now, I'll be quiet and obedient.

But im here, my girl.

I miss you.

I hope you'll let me comfort you soon.

That's all I want.

I want to be your anchor as you are mine

I love you.

[obsessivedraconis]

Your voice is so pretty, my girl.