i smell stuff

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Jorum Studio Unspoken Gesture

Nose: Euan McCall

Notes: fig, hazelnut, almond, cardamom; rice, malt, hay, violet leaf, mimosa, ylang-ylang; sandalwood, ambrette, musk, cedarwood

Unspoken Gesture opens with fuzzy white musks and what I initially thought was a buttered popcorn note, but soon resolves into hazelnut.

It's an unsweet hazelnut note, over lots of synthetic musks. Clean, fuzzy, radiant, and resolutely beige.

Do we like this? I'm not sure. It's not unpleasant; it's very neutral; but I wouldn't say it's beautiful. A little nutty, a little bready, a little cleaning-product-y. A very similar beige abstract modern vibe to Fantosmia, except Unspoken Gesture has a more legible hazelnut note, while Fantosmia is more about peppery pale woods.

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Papillon Angelique

Nose: Liz Moores

Notes: orris, mimosa, cedar, osmathus, olibanum, champaca

Angelique opens with sparkling crisp citrus and then goes into a cloud of pillowy-soft iris fluff. Subtle, barely-there, but plush and dense, with a delicate citrusy-floral effect around the iris.

And that's pretty much where Angelique stays: light, sunny, citrusy-tart fluffy florals around a creamy pale iris core. It's extremely understated, and not a super-strong scent, but it's delicately beautiful. Luca Turin's image of a butter-yellow pillow made of velvet is exactly right; it's a sunny, light spring scent, but unusually dense with high doses of iris butter. Quietly luxurious.

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Gallivant Naples

Nose: Luca Maffei

Notes: sea notes, ginger, ozonic notes, bergamot, pink pepper; olibanum, incense, cardamom, nutmeg, labdanum; clearwood, vetiver, guaiac, patchouli, birch, amber

Naples opens airy, floaty, and synthetic, and then acquires a veil of dry scratchy smoke. Sheer smoke, a hint of spice, and a vaguely aquatic note. It's better than it sounds; it does feel like a vacation in a fancy hotel, all sleek and modern.

But that's pretty much all we get, all day long. Subtle, sheer airy/watery synthetics, with a faint whiff of smoke. Not unpleasant but rather dull. And what does it have to do with the city of Naples?

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Maksim Perfume Musk Couture

Nose: Maksim Bortnikov

Notes: lychee, raspberry, chamomile, green accord, herbal notes; tobacco, ylang-ylang, cypriol, guaiac; Indian oudh, musk, oakmoss, benzoin, cedarwood, vanilla

Musk Couture opens deeply browned, liquored, and dense with furry musks, and then within minutes develops an odd raspberry syrup note. It feels a bit like the fruit-liqueur filling inside a chocolate.

Then it softens to something peachy and fuzzy and extremely sweet. I don't know quite how to say this: the sugary sweetness and musky softness produce an overwhelming effect. Sexy, to the point of vulgar. Mae West. Burlesque shows. We've gone honky-tonkin' all night long and ended up in the cathouse.

Under the fruity syrup, I can now feel a bunch of twangy brown tobacco coming to the fore. It blends smoothly with the fuzzy musks and sugary white sweetness, leaving an overall sweet/fuzzy/brown aura with an overripe or raunchy vibe.

This is a truly wacky choice. Maksim Bortnikov is clearly going for a serious, elite, and rather masculine aesthetic; but here he's giving his usual luxe, dense treatment to an insanely trashy, and quite femme, sugar/fruit/musk concoction.

It's not something I'd ever pick out to wear, but I'm impressed. It's amazing that something so sugary-sweet on top can balance a big, brown tobacco/oudh/resin base, but it all kinda comes together. It's intense, but it's fun in its way.

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Stora Skuggan Mistpouffer

Nose: Tomas Hempel

notes: immortelle, bergamot; pine, ozonic notes, fig leaf; sugar, smoke, malt, cypriol, vetiver

Mistpouffer goes on with a familiar, sheer aura of greenness and smoke.

I get the fresh juicy green of fig leaf, as well as a drier and possibly coniferous green; the whole thing is satisfyingly squeaky-clean and rather faint.

A few minutes in, I get a raincloud scent, suddenly damp and dark gray, and then the beginnings of smoke. There's also very quick glimpses of a caramelized sugar note.

Soon, at about the 15-minute mark, the smoke overtakes the leafy greens, and we have a rather sheer, gray smoke scent with a rainy-day vibe. It's a bit of a niche trope; it feels hipster-stylish and also quite familiar. Pleasantly moody.

And then at 25 minutes in we hit something sour -- an oddly realistic rendition of sticky stale beer spilled on the floor. this must be the "malt" note. It's bizarre. Why are we doing this? Who could possibly be the target market for a beer perfume?

By about 1.5 hours in, the beer is starting to get sweeter caramelized facets, but it's still detectably beer. Beer on a rainy day under leafy trees. And the whole thing is already getting faint. Bewildering.

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Rogue Perfumery Champs Lunaires

Nose: Manuel Cross

Notes: tuberose, coconut milk, pomelo, sandalwood, white rose, musk

Champs Lunaires opens with a bell-clear, rather fruity tuberose. In a few minutes, it broadens, grows creamy and almost coconutty, and also acquires a clean salty musk base.

It's luxurious, smooth, bright, and clean. A satisfying, real-deal tuberose, poised somewhere between the "hot pink" fruity type (like Fracas) and the "white" creamy-coconutty type (like Carnal Flower).

A few minutes more, and a sweet pink-grapefruit note sends it more in the "hot pink" direction, though it still retains a soft aura of coconut milk and white musk.

Great fun. Feels like a party.

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Zoologist Tyrannosaurus Rex

Nose: Antonio Gardoni

Notes: fir, black pepper, bay leaf, nutmeg, bergamot, neroli; champaca, geranium, rose, ylang-ylang, osmanthus, jasmine; resins, leather, cade, incense, civet, cedar, patchouli, sandalwood, vanilla

T. Rex opens intensely caramelized and deep brown, then smoky, then waxy-balmy with delicious ornate florals, and then smoky again, like a bonfire among flowers. Strong Indian-wedding vibes.

There's a *lot* of ylang-ylang, and it's lush, tropical, and quite rubbery. Golden and breathy, backed up with resins.

Then the smoke and resins strengthen, the color darkens from gold to toffee and copper, and we've got caramelized smoky flowers, or spicy floral incense. It's very strong, but I find it beautiful. It's like Gardoni's other incense scent, Lita, with a heavy dose of floral nectar mixed in. Lots of champaca and ylang, lots of humid, heavy, tropical floralcy. Basically this is the most epic nag champa incense ever.

(Does it smell like barbecue? Sure, I guess, if you don't know what nag champa incense smells like. To me it's *really* photorealistic incense. The good kind -- sweet and spicy and floral. )

Over the first hour the florals recede slightly and the smokiness strengthens. The tangy, bright-brown incense also turns a bit sharper, more pine-sappy and resinous. By the 1-hour mark, T-Rex is distinctly a conifer-resin and smoke scent; still very strong and fierce, reddish-brown and the perfect balance of sweet and bracingly turpentiney.

By 1.5-2 hours, T. Rex is finally starting to dry out and calm down a little; less reddish amber-resin, more crackly golden incense and woods. (Sandalwood?) It's still quite rich and warm, though, with a lovely golden radiance. And sometimes the pine-sap note comes back and makes it glow red-gold.

In the third hour, a cooling, medicinal, almost Tiger-Balm-y note comes to the fore. It's still woody and resinous, but now there's a dark-green herbal touch to it. Conifer rosin, deep red-brown woods, and that herbal potion.

I think T. Rex is one of Gardoni's best fragrances, and one of my all-time faves; there are simply no other floral/incense scents this bold and epic. True to Gardoni's usual style, it's an aggro tour de force, merging the complexity of classical perfume with a punchy intensity of flavor the vintage classics never had. Sure, it's too much for some people, but for me it's rollicking feel-good fun.

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Maksim Perfume Amber Balsam

Nose: Maksim Bortnikov

Notes: cardamom, clove leaf, bergamot; gurjan balsam, cinnamon, green tea, vetiver, ylang-ylang; Thailand oudh, tolu balsam, Peru balsam, copaiba balm, labdanum, ambergris

Amber Balsam opens with the softest, warmest resins imaginable, and then goes into a tangy pine-sap scent, still rich with amber and thick with musks, but not very sweet. It's an exceptionally luxurious take on a conifer resinous scent, reddish brown and bracing but always plush and soft.

It's kind of the elegant version of "barbecue-y", piney scents like Le Labo Patchouli 24, or Hiram Green Hyde, or Zoologist T. Rex; but all of those have sort of a modern/indie aesthetic, while Amber Balsam is classical and luxe.

Gradually it fades into a rather somber, deep brown, creamy oudh, somewhat like the oudh in Oud Indochine. Smooth and civilized, totally mellow, it's all soft woody density and depth (with none of the funky/stinky notes that sometimes show up in oudh.)

A beautiful meditation on resins and woods.

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Gallivant Buenos Aires

Nose: Karine Chevallier

Notes: maté, leather, petitgrain, citrus, grapes, tonka bean, dulce de leche, floral notes

Buenos Aires opens light, citrusy, and floral, but quickly reveals a sort of caramelized lemon-drop note in the base. Soon, it transforms into the funky-tea note of maté, still surrounded by dense caramel. Sometimes it's very sweet, sometimes more tangy, but always earthy-funky at the core.

At around the 15 minute mark the leather arrives, and now we have a warm, chestnut-brown leather touched with sweet caramel and earthy-funky tea. It's definitely an original combination, but it may be too sugary for me.

Yeah, by an hour in the leather has receded and Buenos Aires is *just* caramel with a funky-tea aftertaste. Not for me.

By two hours in, it's dried down to pure maté, dusty and dry and olive-green. This stage is quite restful; but I still think the path getting here was a little rough.

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Jorum Studio Boswellia Scotia

Nose: Euan McCall

Notes: frankincense, fir, cypriol; sandalwood, pink pepper, saffron; hemlock, labdanum, patchouli

Boswellia Scotia opens with the softest, fuzziest frankincense ever. It's gray and dry as a bone, but it isn't at all scratchy. It's like the most luxuriously cozy wool blanket. And that's pretty much where it stays: fuzzy, soft frankincense, with maybe the barest hint of smoke or resin.

I usually find plain frankincense scents austere to the point of being boring, but this is an unusually good example.

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Rogue Perfumery Fougère l'Aube

Nose: Manuel Cross

Notes: oakmoss, lavender, geranium, citrus, hay, galbanum, sandalwood, moroccan rose, camphor, musk, costus, amber

Fougère L'Aube is delightful. Fresh, green, and soapy; sharp and cooling; somehow a breath of spring air *and* a freshly aftershave'd guy. It has an air of cheerful confidence. The galbanum zings, the citrus sparkles, the camphor cools, and the soapy floral heart lands softly.

It's clearly masculine, though -- there's a woody-amber in there, and it gets steadily stronger over the first hour until it's clearly too macho for me (as a woman).

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Lubin Idole

Nose: Olivia Giacobetti

Notes: rum, saffron, bitter orange, nigella; ebony, sugarcane, doum palm; leather, red sandalwood

Idole opens with a standard boozy, sinuous, sinister labdanum-dominated chord, and then goes darker with smoky leather. Yep, it's one of these Sexy Man In A Bar scents, dark ominous Orientals with a slug of sweet amber. They're all very much alike, but Idole has a slick of airy refinement to it; Giacobetti is known for her minimalist elegance. The bitter orange adds a pop of brightness, and the smoke and sweetness balance out perfectly. The whole thing is rather light and transparent, but still bright and dark like a flickering candle flame. By about an hour in, it's settled into a faint warm rum-and-amber skin scent.

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Jorum Studio Fantosmia

Nose: Euan McCall

Notes: black pepper, cardamom; pimento, shiso, maté, fennel; saffron, white oud, tobacco, nutmeg, castoreum, cascarilla

Fantosmia opens with fuzzy white musks, dense but clean. Something a little like ambrette. It has that feeling of static, or blur, or "my skin but better"; it smells of "nothing", pale and clean, yet legible and rather loud. Kind of like the "neutral blurry" musk in Costume National Scent.

It stays abstract and hard to read, though over time it gets more dusty, tan rather than white. Maybe there's woods in this? Maybe some very dry, muted spices? Hard to say. Still very abstract, blurry, neutral.

Gradually it gets warmer and more distinctly dry-spiced, arguably "peppery." I don't think "white oud" is an actual thing, but insofar as it's supposed to evoke a light woodiness, that's about on target.

If you need a very low-key scent that's still interesting and novel, you might like this? Completely unisex, subtle, modern/minimalist without ever feeling thin or cheap. I'm not in love myself, but I can see a place for it.

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Maksim Perfume Bestia Sacra

Nose: Maksim Bortnikov

Notes: frankincense, bergamot; castoreum, civet, musk, myrrh, opoponax, nagarmotha; oakmoss, sandalwood, labdanum, benzoin

Bestia Sacra opens with a gradually thickening carpet of dusty beige musks and straight-up zoo animal smell. I usually like animalics, but this is aversive to me. We are literally in a lion cage.

Gradually, the stank calms down slightly and I get some faint tendrils of sweetness underneath, and a plush, creamy texture. But it's still very, very stinky at this phase; just stinky like perfume rather than literal animals. It's starting to get satisfyingly dank, like Oudh Infini, another barnyardy animalic, though, as i'm realizing, Bestia Sacra leaves Oudh Infini in the dust as far as stinkiness goes.

By about the 1-hour mark, a sort of creamy-shining note predominates and the stank is more of a background hum. There's also a faint prickle of dry smoke. This phase is quite lovely.

Bestia Sacra is clearly designed for the most intense animalic aficionados. I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who's not a stank-fiend, and even if you are, it's a tossup. I love strongly animalic scents like Bal a Versailles and Muscs Koublaï Khan, and I still found Bestia Sacra too much. But if you're that outlier-level musk-lover, Bestia Sacra is a quality perfume. The plush texture is fantastic, the soft smoky drydown quietly beautiful.

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Zoologist Sacred Scarab

Nose: Sultan Pasha

Notes: aldehydes, civet, lemon; lotus, plum, red wine; myrrh, incense, benzoin, musk, oakmoss, amber, styrax, labdanum, raisin, galbanum, cedar, cade

Sacred Scarab opens with sharp, airy aldehydes, gradually giving way to a funky, dense dust note, like packed earth. Underneath there's a golden amber with a dried-fruit note. It's surprisingly airy and radiant, not sticky; the aldehydic lift sticks around, in a big billowing cloud of funky, animalic, fruity amber. Not the easiest perfume to take -- the funky-dirty effect is substantial. I wouldn't necessarily reach for this kind of Oriental fantasy myself (hot desert air, musky stank, and sweet dried fruit) but it's a grand, dramatic execution of that theme.

My husband despises it; to him, it smells of red pepper.

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Rogue Perfumery Jasmin Antique

Nose: Manuel Cross

Notes: jasmine, musk, cloves, vanilla

Jasmin Antique is just a big fuckoff jasmine, bright and juicy with ruby-red and purple facets. Lots of dripping nectar, a little bit of a musky rasp, a fair amount of natural sweetness. A "slutty" jasmine with plenty of indole.

It's nothing original but it's a good jasmine. My favorite jasmines are a bit lighter and fresher -- I still think nothing beats Serge Lutens' A La Nuit for smelling like a real jasmine vine in bloom -- but if you like "lusty" florals without too much fuss or extraneous ornament, this is a solid example. (It's a little bit like Lush Lust with the extreme sweetness turned down a notch, for instance.)

Despite the name and Rogue Perfumery's usual retro aesthetic, there's nothing especially old-fashioned or vintage about Jasmin Antique; it feels quite contemporary.

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Stora Skuggan Fantôme des Maules

nose: Tomas Hempel

notes: galbanum, green notes, bergamot, lemon; cardamom, lavender, cashmeran, forest flowers, coriander, black pepper; oakmoss, ambroxan, vetiver, cedar, sandalwood, musk, tonka, labdanum

Fantôme des Maules opens fresh, green, and leafy; quite light and pleasant. Then it gets slightly fuzzy and salty with clean synthetic musks.

It reminds me a lot of Grey Flannel, as a fresh grassy masculine with a lightly musky side. In other words: it's a bit boring. But nice. Has a low-key, deft charm, would work well in an office. On the other hand, Grey Flannel is vastly cheaper and basically the same thing.

The whole thing is almost completely gone in three hours.